>First day of class everybody get up and introduce yourselves and tell us your hobbies
>partner up
tfw have no friends
>"OK everyone pair up"
>odd number of students in the class
>tfw always have to either partner up with the teacher or the teacher forces a pair of students who clearly want nothing to do with me to accept me into their group
>>25952352
I TREMBLED WHEN JOB "ORIENTATION" REQUIRED US TO INTRODUCE AND TALK ABOUT OURSELVES IN ROTATION WHEN IT GOT TO MY TURN I JUST SAID "THIS JOB ISN'T FOR ME" AS AN EXCUSE NOT TO TALK AND WALKED OUT
>>25952398
Goddamn this
Fuck this feel
>tfw first day of drawing class they made us partner up with 4 different people and draw a portrait of them while getting to know them
so much spilt spaghetti
>qt girl asks "do you like art?"
>no, I'm not really a big art guy (thinking she means like paintings or illustrators)
>what do you mean you don't like art? you don't watch movies or listen to music?
>o-oh! yeah I listen to movies -watch movies haha I saw star wars
fugg now she thinks I'm a weirdo
>hi, i'm anon, i like to run long distance and drink coffee
>Teacher says introduce yourself and what you want to be in senior year
>Anon says I want to be a porn star
>Normies look at anon funny
>Anon leaves and goes to park
>Anon drinks and reflects
>Anon fucks off to teach English in mexico
>ok time for group work
>breakout in panic sweats
>Everybody turn to your neighbour and introduce yourself
>Stare at the professor for the duration of the ice breaker
I actually sperged out when this happened to me in my first year of university.
I actually said
"My name is X and I've been working for the last few years and decided to start university now to help increase my chances of getting a better job in the future"
Then the teacher asked me
>"What's the biggest thing that's happened to you in the last few years"
And I said
"Oh, um. Well I got married and went on a 6 month trip around Europe for our honeymoon"
>note: I'm a HHKV that's never come close to having a GF let a lone being married, I've also never been overseas nor have I ever worked.
>>25952495
jfc my man
>>25952472
>professor says turn to person next to you and discuss question
>no one is sitting next to me ever
or
>stare down at table and wait out the next minute and a half in excruciating silence
>first day of class
>"50% of your grade will be one group project :^)"
>need class to graduate
>shit at my major
was nice knowing you guys
>tfw never had the courage to just say no
Next time I'll just say I don't want to disclose that info for privacy reasons
Anyone who thinks I'm a sperg is an idiot because nobody actually wants to do that shit
>>25952369
>mfw I would never partner up and just hope I could get by unnoticed
Worked sometimes
>>25952495
Forgot to mention. This was 2 years ago and I even got a wedding band off ebay and everyone legit believes im married still KEK.
>have mentally rehearsed and brainstormed things to say, some half-lies, some pinches of truth carefully vetted and selected to be sufficient as a talking point for a minute or so but not interesting enough to be remembered for long
>done it for a while now, most people can't tell that I'm not anything but a normal functioning member of society
I've gone through some horrible fucking shit in fucking introductions.
>>25952352
>hobbies
>tfw all i do is shitpost
>First day of highschool
>Sit down by qt3.14
>Tip my fedora to her as a sign of friendship as I place my katana beside my desk
>Crack open a can of Mountain Dew, accidentally spilling some on my Evangelion tshirt that I've been wearing for the past week
>Teacher tells us to raise our hands and tell us one interesting fact about ourselves.
>Raise hand, still covered in dried bbq sauce from the tendies that my mummy made me last night.
>Teacher points to me and tells me to tell the class an interesting fact about myself
>I concentrate for a second as the stubble on my neck begins to tingle
>"I am expert on Linux software, as well as anime and PC gaming"
>qt3.14 grill beside me giggles, she's totally into me.
>part of a trio of friends at school, we're rejected by the rest of the year
>time to partner up
>best friend partners with other friend and not you
>that moment of eye contact you share
et tu brute?
>>25952398
>Tffw
>>25952519
>not just making something up
jesus man. you're the sperg here.
>>25952601
haha funny XD
>>25952785
THIS.
LIE, YOU IDIOTS. LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE.
YOU KNOW. LYING. THAT THING YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME DOING ON THE INTERNET.
I GUARANTEE YOU THAT YOUR "NORMIE" PEERS ARE LYING THROUGH THEIR TEETH DURING THESE ICEBREAKERS.
YOU HATE THEM. SO LIE TO THEM.
DON'T LET THEM UPSTAGE YOU WHEN IT COMES TO THE ONLY THING YOU'RE GOOD AT.
>>25952352
So what do you day to not look like a sperg?
>>25953134
see the post above >>25953091
>>25953134
ANYTHING ALONG THE LINES OF WHAT >>25952443 SAID.
>i like to run long distance and drink coffee
AN ATHLETIC PURSUIT THAT HE WILL NOT BE TESTED ON HIS KNOWLEDGE OF. (I USUALLY SAY SWIMMING.)
AND A POPULAR BEVERAGE HE ENJOYS, CHARMINGLY AND FACETIOUSLY MISREPRESENTED AS A HOBBY.
IT'S A BORING, INSIPID RESPONSE BEFITTING A BORING, INSIPID ACTIVITY.
AND NO ONE WILL REMEMBER OR GIVE A SHIT THE NEXT DAY.
>>25953091
>wow, that's interesting anon. I have the same hobby. [some specific question that pertains to the hobby, whether it's a test of your sincerity or genuine inquiry]
>"Alright, everyone, here's how the game is played: You introduce yourself, then the person after says who you are and introduces themselves, and so on."
>I was always at the very end
>>25953721
THAT'S WHY YOU PICK AN OBSCURE HOBBY. PREFERABLY ONE THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE A LOT OF TECHNICAL EXPERTISE OR SPECIFIC EQUIPMENT.
BESIDES, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE ODDS OF SOMEONE CALLING YOU OUT ARE? LET'S BE GENEROUS AND SAY 20%.
IF YOU LIE, YOU HAVE A 20% OF SPILLING YOUR SPAGHETTI.
IF YOU TELL THE TRUTH, THE ODDS OF YOU NOT LOOKING LIKE A WEIRDO BECOME STATISTICALLY INSIGNIFICANT.
YOU'VE BEEN DEALT A SHITTY HAND IN LIFE. DON'T EMBARRASS YOURSELF BY PLAYING WITH THE CARDS FACE-UP.
Just say you play vidya.
>ok everyone please group up
>oh anon, since there's nobody left you can just join stacey's group
>>25952352
"My name is $name, I am a $year majoring in $major and I am the most boring person you have ever met.."
If your professor has a single sympathetic cell in their body they won't dare pry for more info after that introduction. And if they do you should simply drop the class.
>>25952352
Hi my name is ____
My hobbies aren't your business. If you want to know shit about me talk to me in private. Otherwise I'm here for work.
I really hate talking about myself unless I'm talking to a group of friends who share the same interests and personality traits as me
I was lucky enough to have them during high school, 3 times
I don't even talk to my family about me, it's extremely awkward and they don't really give a shit since they don't know what I'm talking about
And I forgot to mention in >>25954165 , if you say it with the right tone you might even get a few genuine laughs.
Phrasing it like >>25954192 just makes you look like a sperglord though.
They did this to us at orientation for a large industrial project. I just said I like outdoor activities like camping and hiking. I thought they stopped doing this to people after high school.
>>25952352
>my name is anon
>I like movies and music
There, don't need to go into details at all, that's what I did when they asked that shit
Don't ever say autistic shit like ''I like video games and anime''
>>25954192
>being this much of an autist
Do you tip your fedora before or after you sheathe your katana? I must know
>>25954229
It's always depend the voice that you decide to use. Sure if you have an angry tone you'll appear as a sperg. But if you're neutral. you just come off reserved.
>>25954289
An autist would look to share his hobbies intensively with people despite being a social mistfit. That's just trait of Anti-Social Personality disorder. So nigga please.
I legitimately dropped out university in the first week because of this shit
>>25954327
Autism is a meme.
I was meming on you because you said some dumb shit that would make you sound like an edgelord if you ever said it in person, which you wouldn't because you'd be too busy spilling your spaghetti.get memed on nerd
>>25954253
can second this anon. went to speech class last week. said i like vidja gaems. everyone laughed at me.
>>25954385
Obviously that was the point of the post. Usually you just tell what is your name and if you don't want to talk about your hobbies you just say you have none. That's it. Not very hard.
>>25952352
>Okay class we are going to do people bingo
>Go around the room and fill out all the names of people who have the skills listed on the sheet
>Get up walk out of class
>Go to bathroom vomit
>Return with a smile....
