/britfeel/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
might order a pizza tonight lads edition
It's that time again - post waifus.
>>25940035
Wish OP image guy would hurry the fuck up and finish the OP
>>25940060
>Haven't watch K-On
>Mugi still my waifu
I'm so fucked up
>>25940035
Time to start getting pissed lads.
Alright lads, Here's my cv.
Remember keep it short and sweet and if you worked in a shop with more than one person you were working as part of a team.
If you worked in a kitchen as a potwash you were working to ensure that all equipment was kept clean to an acceptable standard in line with HSE guidelines
>>25940122
This isn't the job center. Piss off
>>25940122
>A levels
>D D D D
>>25940060
Always and 4eva
>>25940122
>GCSE Beliefs, Philosophy & Ethics
It's called R.E. you atheist prick
>>25940122
You are such an embarrassing failure, did your mum have to write that for you?
>>25940140
I'd say I gave up but i'm just stupid desu
>>25940122
What fucking madness drove you to do A-Level Physics when you got a C at GCSE?
>>25940122
>About Me
>Hobbies and Interests
>Grades don't line up with subjects
>listing every individual GCSE
>no core competencies under employment section
>wasting space listing references instead of providing them on request
Your CV is bad
>>25940171
I got a B, very close to an A, The formatting is off.
And my physics teacher thought I was capable. I wasn't
>>25940122
How the fuck did you get a D in general studies?
>>25940122
>I enjoy cycling, particularly when it involves achieving a goal such as reaching a certain destination
>>25940205
I didn't turn up to it
>>25940122
Paintball & teamwork are one word apiece. No wonder you got a C in English
>>25940190
>>Grades don't line up with subjects
>>listing every individual GCSE
I'll fix that, fair point
>>no core competencies under employment section
This means?
>>25940060
Posting
>>25940092
Treat yourself before you beat yourself
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbsjtPAuTnI
>>25940199
Well then you've got an extra grade in there because the 4th subject down is Physics and the 4th letter down is C.
Throw it out and start again anon, I used to work in recruitment and this type of CV was usually accompanied by a photo of a bewildered Indian man. Just use a word document without all the tables.
>>25940236
Delete the retarded blog at the top and note the key skills and experience each job gave you in the employment section instead. Bullet points are nice and easy to read.
Double posting for the Derby lad with a band.
I'm in Derby. What's the name of your band? What type of stuff do you play?
>the recent events
You mean the stabbing?
Have you always lived in Derby by the way? I moved here for work about three years ago and can't wait to get out. It wasn't that bad when I first moved but it's gone rapidly down hill, all these beggars popped up out of nowhere.
>>25940222
Nobody did, but anything less than a B is impossible if you actually sit the exam.
>tfw will never be an FBI agent, walking up to a crime scene and telling the fat policeman "this is our case now"
>>25940285
I was under the impression that none sent pictures with the CV because it can give a bad first impression
Whats wrong with the tables? I found it made everything look cleaner
>>25940314
See >>25940169
OCOC
>>25940060
You have been muted for 2 seconds because your waifu is too spooky
>>25940075
but im busy being comfy.
>>25940359
>I was under the impression that none sent pictures with the CV because it can give a bad first impression
True, don't do it.
The tables tend to leave lots of wasted space in some places and lots of cramped information in others. Do what you like but every company I recruited for preferred a standard word doc with normal paragraphs. Justifying the paragraphs makes it look neat enough.
>>25940561
Fair enough mate, cheers for the advice
>>25940622
if it makes u feel any better I got a D in maths and mostly C's, no B's or A's in any GCSE
and all I have is a BTEC Level 3 in IT which is pretty useless I think
work experience is a sweet shop for a few weeks and that's it, depressing
you're miles ahead in what you've got qualification wise, Idk how old you are though
>>25940703
I'm 21 mate. I realised halfway through As levels that I wasn't cut out for it. I tried desperately for an apprenticeship but came across as a sniveling nervous little shit the first time around.
I completed my A2s and then managed to get into a vocational course where they payed me and they found me a job. Now that job is making me redundant
I Probably could have done much better in my A levels if my mum and step-dad didn't make me work two part time jobs through sixthform so I was always tired and unmotivated to study.
I think I got really lucky desu
>>25940060
Just picked up my antidepressants wahey
Going to rewatch K-ON for the eighth time tonight.
If she existed it would solve every problem in my life.
>>25940060
>tfw the only reason I get up any more is to go on britfeel.
Who fish supper here? Its friday after all.
Hallo fellow robots. I've started thinking to move to the UK because I'm startung to lose my mind in the this third world shithole (Italy). I've got a CS degree but went full NEET due to lack of decent paid working positions and Aspergers which cripples my social life. Welfare here is a total mess and doesn't cover my condition.
Is it worth to come there and become a loyal servant of Her Majesty?
>inb4 not intended to live on english welfare
>>25940895
I'm having a cookie desu
>>25940898
What could you get a job in?
>>25940898
Constant grey and wind will make you want to kill yourself
>>25940853
>If she existed it would solve every problem in my life
Sometimes I don't think its possible to be happy. The times when I am feel like some weird delusion.
>>25940060
why is britfeel full of animoo now?
>tfw I will never be able to do this
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1453485294984.webm
Just bought the diet pills~
The normie cashier said something like "I hope these aren't for you" in a half joking manner.
Feeling really good about it desu~
>>25941028
that looks fucking stupid so you're good
>>25940945
>>25940938
Actually the weather for me it's fine. I've got some problem with sensorial overload and hot temperatures (due to AS). I actually enjoy a lot cloudy and rainy days.
Regarding the job: IT.
I have extense knowledge in networking, network security and server management.
Also I can code efficiently in c++ and c#.
Also learning ruby.
>>25940060
Why does she have to be so damn cute?
>Tfw getting nostalgic over the elections last year for some reason
>>25940122
Your education really brings down the CV, especially the A levels. I'd make the whole section smaller. Instead of listing each D individually, just say 4 D A level. Shit like that.
Bring up your employment history and make it bigger. Talk more about what skills you picked up and used while working.
>>25941038please eat something friend
>>25941025
Buts its been like this for a while.
>>25941038
What do diet pills do anyways?
>>25941098
Just search UK jobsites mate. Best advice I can give
>>25940150
Would enjoy watching you creampie her desu.
>>25941155
Dub Dubs of truth
Yeah, shows me as a bit dumb but I'm cutting shit now as i type
>>25941038
wait, what's your height/weight? Don't go overboard on those things.
>>25941156
You know he's fat right?
>>25941038
Fatidle
kek kek
>>25941204
hmm this sounds like a lie
>>25941204
Fuck off skeleton
>>25941204
sure he is, buddy
bomment original original bomment
>>25941204
What would you even know about fat you fucking skeleton.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>25940895
Ordered a Chinese munchy box from just eat. Once that arrives ill smoke a joint and enjoy!
>>25941038
"I hope these aren't for you... because you'd need something stronger if they are"
FATILDE
A
T
I
L
D
E
I'm bored of your meme now, go away
>This guy trying to force the meme that Tilde is fat
What's his story?
>>25941317
>robot
>being able to contact a dealer
reeeeshame I can't desu
>>25941396
He's probably fat himself and is trying to make himself feel better
>>25941363
Tilde isn't a meme, he's a way of life
>>25941038
Look after yourself angel. I don't want to see you stop posting here because something bad happened to you.
>>25941205
>>25941363
Fight me cunts. I'll knock you the fuck out.
>>25941404
IKT. Hope Weed becomes legal so I can bloody try it once in my life.
>>25941516
Ask the next ice-cream man you see, that's who deals to me.
someone come and molest me please
Official Thread Theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4KzyRttAts
>>25941038
WHO ATE ALL THE PIES
WHO ATE ALL THE PIES
FATILDE FATILDE
FATILDE ATE ALL THE PIES
>>25940060
Oomuro-ke is actually a decent spinoff it turns out
>>25940306
Lived in derby all my life it ain't that bad, chilled out when compared to bigger cities. The council is a joke though
>>25941476
I'd be happy to cheer you on senpai.
You fight for justice, never forget that.
>>25940306
>>25940306
i knew tom btw, he was a cocky little cunt. Still awful though
>>25941038
>"I hope these aren't for you... they're diet pills not miracle workers"
>>25941469
>>25941476>tfw people are nice to Tilde~
![[SubDESU]_Sora_no_Otoshimono_Tokeijikake_no_Angeloid_[1920x1080_x264-FLAC][A207DC0B].mkv_snapshot_01.17.13_[2016.01.22_18.43.41].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/7Sws0VZ.jpg "[SubDESU]_Sora_no_Otoshimono_Tokeijikake_no_Angeloid_[1920x1080_x264-FLAC][A207DC0B].mkv_snapshot_01.17.13_[2016.01.22_18.43.41].jpg")
>>25940060
Waifu and her friend
>>25940306
>>25941751
Derby lads. Where abouts do you two live in derby? I'm in stenson fields. It's nice but it's so far away from any shops.
'Billy no mates' must be the most hurtful thing people say, even when they don't mean it.
My dad used to call me 'Billy no mates' EVERY DAY because I would always go to play football by myself.
I snapped one day
I then started running around the house screaching loudly and kicking the ball as hard at his plate collections as I could while yelling 'DADDY SMASHED PLATES'
He grabbed me and smacked the shit out of me
I was 23 at the time
I deserved it but it was his fault.
>>25942029
>I was 23 at the time
>>25940060
2nd master skin Morales
i woke up at 3am today and havent been to sleep since
ive been happier, more motivated, laughed a lot and basically had no anxiety at all compared to most days
think my brain just cant over think when it's rundown
wish i could feel like this all the time though
>>25942029
This is some tendies-tier shit right here
>>25942029
When I was 11 and playing football with my neighbours and their dad on the cul-de-sac the Dad called me "shirley" saying "surely not" whenever I got the ball. Fucking cunt.
When I was 24 me and my Dad had a tussle and he punched me 4 times in the face and it didn't hurt at all then I grabbed hold of him and controlled his arms, he couldn't move. Since then he has been much kinder to me. He's the old man now and I am the strong one.
Going out on the lash tonight with poleaboo, tilde and angryanon
Hoping to shag some slags, what do you reckon our chances are lads?
All are welcome to join x
I'll be here every day. All you have to do is reach out to me.
>>25940122
hmm im curious about where you served your time as your CV reads very similar to mine and the number of companies still manufacturing that kind of kit in the UK is pretty limited
>cold the last few days
>progressively turn up my storage heater so it stores more heat overnight
>set it on max last night
>now it's about 10 degrees outside
>heater is the temperature of a volcano with no way to turn it off or dissipate the heat
Literally can't cope living on my own and having to deal with things like heating a flat or buying food.
Stay in your parents' house and be a leech, britbots.
>>25942143
Sleep deprivation is confirmed effective at treating depressive symptoms. I get days like that every month or two, too bad it doesn't last.
>>25942299
Mate, get over it. She's fucking someone else now.
>>25942291
where abouts? Im up for it
>>25942291
People will be too busy hitting on tilde for him to get anywhere, maybe angryanon will have some luck if he manages to calm down.
>>25942299
Wouldn't mind reaching out and grabbin dem titties tbqh
>>25942315
Why would you turn it up so high instead ofputting a jumper on?
just set the output to max while you're out and all the heat will dissipate and it'll be cool when you get home
>>25942291
fatidle doesn't stand a chance
>>25942315
>storage heater
the hell is a storage heater, why doesnt my car have one?
>>25942299
She's dead mate, we all know it
>>25942315
Maybe you need a roommate who's not a total dunce, despite his chronic NEETitude?
>>25940122
Get rid of the grid shit.
>>25942327
She was always fucking someone else, I don't care about that.
>>25942349
I know right
>>25942375
She's definitely not
>>25942366
it stores up heat overnight while the lecky is cheaper, then spits it out during the day.
>>25942409
You a cuck then?
>>25942299
she doesn't post here anymore mate
>>25942410
Just wiki'd it, surely it constantly gives out heat though? How does it 'store' it without just cooling down?
>Ah, soup in a cup. All I need now is a kiss in a tube, a wank in a packet
Watching some classic Peep Show lads
>>25942299
Mate, she succumbed to her disease some time ago. She's gone.
>>25942416
She might come back. You don't know anything.
>>25942409
she's on limited time if she drops off the face of the earth for two months shes dead
>>25942457
My sources of information are better than yours.
>>25942441
>How does it 'store' it without just cooling down?
Insulation and a high thermal capacity, of course it does leak a bit.
>>25942379
>getting a roommate
Last thing I need in my flat is some normie bringing his girlfriend around and fucking her all hours of the day and night and playing loud music.
>>25942497
what source?
was it you who emailed her mum
have you tried barry?
>>25942497
I can assure you they're not. She passed away some time between Christmas and New Year.
>>25942498
>How does it 'store' it without just cooling down?
>Insulation and a high thermal capacity, of course it does leak a bit.
What the fuck. No, it's just a big battery that draw electricity at night when the rate is cheaper and then uses that power to heat up. It's not a giant thermos flask you dumbass.
>>25942498
>Last thing I need in my flat is some normie bringing his girlfriend around and fucking her all hours of the day and night and playing loud music.
I had to deal with this for two years, fucking horrible since we'd been nerdy nogf losers together for two years before that.
>>25941732
Does the blue hair one show up regularly?
>>25942523
Then why was she liking shit on facebook after the new year? Is she a ghost now?
>>25942528
>What the fuck. No, it's just a big battery that draw electricity at night when the rate is cheaper and then uses that power to heat up
You believe it stores electrical energy and uses that to power a heating element? Might want to look into that, anon.
>>25942528
incorrect
pull one apart - they are just full of clay bricks which are used to store the heat.
>>25942029
>King has moved to /britfeel/
FaTidle
> pic related
>>25942564
A little, it's mainly sakurako and her sisters. They're just shorts though and you can find it online easily so if you like YY you might as well have a flick through.
>>25942590
>>25942610
Fuck me I didn't know that.
I-I was trolling ;^)
>tfw watching videos on guitar making on youtube all day
>tfw i always wanted to be a luthier
>tfw ill never have a little workshop to make guitars in
>tf indeed
>>25942624
FaTilde is so fat, when he sits around the house, he sits AROUND the house.
FaTidle is so fat, his cereal bowl needs a lifeguard.
unlucky fatilde
never mind eh
>>25942665
FATILDE IS SO FAT, WHEN HE GETS IN THE SEA THE TIDE COMES IN
>>25942498
>bring his girlfriend around and fucking her
I was implying I should be your flatmate. I would not have made that an issue.
Fatilde so fat he uses the Great wall of China as a belt
You're all just trying to trick me. I know she's still alive. She'll love me again some day.
Who did you side with lads?
And it better not be Minutemen.
>>25942624
Fatilde holding one of his "diet pills"
>>25942729
Oh, didn't realise anon, sorry. You can move in tomorow but you'll have to sleep in the bath because there's no space anywhere else.
Who /excitedforBFF/ here?
Who else here /doesn'tgiveafuckabouttildebutwantsthisunfunnyspamshittogo/?
>>25942820
don't say spam, Fatilde will get cravings
>>25942779
I chose the destroy ending. Anything else was a Reaper trick.
>>25942799
"If this was the olden days I'd be rich."
Thanks, but you probably live somewhere awful like London or Sunderland anyway.
>>25942850
he fell for the most obvious trick of all
typical mollusc behaviour
>>25942816
what's bff?
>>25942900
British Fighting Federation, I'll post the roster or you guys in a moment. The debut show will be here in a couple of hours. You won't want to miss it, apparently OP Image Guy 2k15 is defending his title against OP image Guy 2k16
>>25942900
Big Fat FaTidle
>>25942900
Britfeel Federation
It's Britfeel's wrestling fed
>>25942965
It's actually the Britfeel Fighting Federation, not British.
>>25942965
>>25942968
Damn, I'm hyped. Hope Poleaboo cuts a nasty promo.
>>25941977
Live in the city centre, a bit grim but it's the better part of town towards Cathedral Quarter.
>>25942872
Exoskeletal genetic mutants, not even once.
>>25942900
Here is the roster
Faces:
Main Event:
>OP Image Guy 2015
>Poet Anon
>Ghost Flatmate
Midcard:
>The Diabetes Kid
>Machine Operator Anon
>Dad Anon
>Lobbyist Anon
Jobbers:
>McDonald's Anxiety anon
>Agoraphobia anon
>Waifu anons
Heels
Main Event:
>Poleaboo
>Angryanon
Midcard:
>Gym Paki
>Militant Jamaican Muslim
>Fight anon
>OP Image Guy 2016
jobbers:
">Civil Engineer" anon
>Manchester Suicide Pact
>Brummy Weed Anon
Divas:
Tilde
Announcer:
SHOUTANON
Chairman of The Board:
Never Gets out Of Bed Anon
Stables:
>The Nation of Isalmification (Militant Jamaican Muslim, Gym Paki, Fight anon)
>The Weebs (Waifu anons)
>The Wageslaves (Machine Operator Anon & Lobbyist Anon)
>Outside Fear (Agorphobia Anon & McDonald's Anxiety anon)
Champions:
BBC Champion (Best of Britfeel Champion)
>OP Image Guy 2015
Banterweight Title Champion
>The Diabetes Kid
BUM Champions (Best United Men)
>The Wageslaves
Women's Champion
>Tilde
>>25943013
Tilde is a cretin why is he not fighting
want to see the fat fuck get his head caved in by fight anon
>>25942763
Enjoy the long sleep in the sky
>>25943013
>BBC Champion
>Best of Britfeel Champion Champion
>>25943013
>The Nation of Isalmification
kek, everytime.
>>25943013
Eating Contest Champion
>Tilde
>>25943013
>tfw I get to fight for my waifu
Feels glorious
Downie spac head back on Corrie
>>25943049
If she is dead, I would have to kill myself
>>25943104
my waifu could beat up your waifu m8
>>25943104
I guess she does have plenty of experience
>>25943049
Tilde: result of an wino
>>25943154
>Implying shit
My waifu can kill death desu
Hey all, the superstars are just entering the arena we are due to go live in 1 hour and 15 minutes.
>>25943122
I'LL WATCH IT ON CATCH UP WHEN MY PIZZA ARRIVES
>>25943211
>>25943154
I know one way to solve this.
>>25943133
I don't want her to be dead either we had some nice chats on 4+4chan britfeel but everyones got a ticking clock
>>25942763
I ask again, are you a cuck?
>>25943243
Time to make dindins
>>25943243
Can you start it now so you can finish it asap and stop shitting up the topic?
Thanks
I want to make some dinner, but I can't because my dad's made himself a fry up, eaten half of it before even leaving the kitchen, and decided he needs to make himself another half to make up for that fact.
I'm worried he's trapped himself in an endless loop of consume, cook, consume, etc. Hopefull the finite amount of eggs should prevent this.
>>25943013
>The Nation of Isalmification
>>25943406
No mate BFF Friday Night Feels is on every Friday night 9pm GMT
Poleaboo went to family event today, a birthday, walking through the town he noticed more white people than brown. Absolutely revolting, if a brown person walked through a white area (don't know why they'd want to as they're all shitholes) then they'd be assaulted.
Walking back home, he noticed a friend from high school
>the friend initiated
>he had a gold tooth, poleaboo commented
>his voice is deeper now, poleaboo joked his balls finally dropped (turns out he got married and lives in Birmingham now)
>the friend is graduating this July from uni due to his run ins with the law
>twice arrested for sexual assault, jailed the second time
>poleaboo said he had graduated last year and is looking for work
>asked for his number
>didn't know it off the top of his head, wasn't carrying his phone
>gave him the number of the most recent phone to be taken by the pigs
Fuck, should drop my his parents place or something once the phone from the solicitor gets here
>>25943406
Gonna need you to shut the fuck up desu. Looking forward to some OC.
>>25942779
>fallout 4
DUDE VIDEO GAMES LMAO XD
>>25943461
You can fuck off as well m8
DOMCOMBO FOR 30% OFF DOMINOS BRITBROS
>>25943488
papa johns is 50% off
>>25943445
Later that night, Poleaboo met a nice young man off Grindr.
>tells him he likes polish men
>man says he is polish
>arrives at Poleaboos place
>he is actually slovakian
>but he's quite friendly and dominant
>sucks him off anyway
>>25943445
>blah blah blah
>blah blah
>blah blah blah
You're a bad person and you should do something to change that.
>>25943502
Yeah but it's papa shit johns.
Poleaboo is going up on the turnbuckle...
https://youtu.be/UOSYcM4AJ8k
>>25943502
>Having a papa johns near you
>>25943502
ITS STILL OVERPRICED AS SHIT
>>25943502
I've never tried it but I recently saw one open up in a town I passed through. What's it like? Any suggestions on what to get?
>>25943515
It's a good story
Met a school friend, last time I actually had friends, bantered easily with him and kinda respect him since his circumstances are actually similar to poleaboos
>>25943502
Stop eating yank shit and buy from a local takeaway, you scum.
>>25943598
>supporting pakis
You're scum
>>25943549
Here is an impartial and accurate review
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHp-ZEst4NE
>housemate leaves shit all over kitchen
>housemate cleans the whole kitchen today
>acting high and mighty giving everyone else shit for not cleaning his crap
>"always me who does the work" attitude
People are shit.
>>25943598
the best local pizza place near me is more expensive than papa john and less white
>>25943013
How does this work
When does it start
Where does it take place
>>25943445
I thought you hated pakis despite being one yourself. Now you hate white people instead? I don't understand you at all.
>>25943624
There are plenty that aren't kebabs, get your mind of paki-cock you fucking degenerate
>>25943662
>tfw cm punk will never ever come back
>>25943678
I don't understand me either
My family comment often about how I constantly change the groups I am racist towards
>>25943662
Read further down senpai, should be in an hour or so.
Papa Johns aka Papa Roach
WELL SPORTS FANS WITH LESS THAN AN HOUR TO GO UNTIL THE BIG EVENT ARE ANY OF OUR FIGHTERS FEELING THE NERVES AT ALL?
>>25943624
>>25943646
>being this insecure
You are an embarrassment to all western civilisation.
Anyway, the best pizza you can get in a hurry is the 4 pound ones from Asda.Chinese is superior to both.
>>25943698
Poleaboo hates Punk
He's a cunt, he never had as many great matches as other top stars, one trick pony on the mic and his fans were really annoying
>>25943712
Knob off you tosser
>>25943698
He'll probably be back in about 10 years for a massive payday
He was so pissed at part timers stealing the spotlight that he knows that he'll get a chance to do it one day
>>25943729
THE BASE TASTES LIKE CARD AND THE MEAT IS SO CHEAP IT'S UNREAL
>>25943730
Are Muslims straight edge?
Hmmm
>>25943735
strange insult you got there lad
Poleaboo is a big fan of John Cena and his rippling sexy physique. Given the choice between getting fucked by John Cena or getting fucked by a burly Polish man, he would give serious consideration to Cena.
>>25942965
>>25943013
>>25943712
If this is the first one how did we decide the champions and who's in main event/midcard/jobbers?
I'm genuinely excited
>>25943757
Not the cheap ones, you dick. There are other ones that are slightly more expensive but taste bloody great.
I wouldn't have believed it myself had I not seen it with my own eyes.
>>25943729
>not the co-op Pizzas
they'll cost you a pretty penny but crikey are they tasty
>>25943813
>I'm genuinely excited
you are genuinely pathetic
>>25943834
>hating fun
Relax dude
>>25943834
He's not the only one desu senpai
>>25943834
Sod off, this place can be positive for a few hours.
What you doing tonight then lads?
Playing battlefront and doing a 6er to myself atm, going weatherspoons later, pretty comfy
>>25943882
This place is only ever positive on weekdays in the daytime, weekends especially people just vomit bile all over each other the whole time. I guess the average age drops a bit or something. It's not even a wagie/neet thing, the workers during weekdays are all pleasant as well.
>>25944139
it's literally Tilde, he's divided this place
>>25944139
If there were a way to measure and quantify people being shitty to each other maybe we'd have some interesting data about these threads.
Poleaboo does genuinely believe Cena is superior to that whiny bitch Punk in every way
>more good feuds
>more good matches
>more diverse range of promos
>actually creative, didn't need to steal catchphrases
Punk is such a cuck, he's even writing comics about Batista
>>25944175
Poleaboo is pro-tilde if he was forced to pick a side
>>25944198
frequency of certain words/phrases? 'fuck off', 'cuck' and 'paki' maybe?
PAKIS OUT NOW II
>>25944215
not surprised that the two most cancerous gimmicks on here support one another
>>25944215
>Cena
>diverse range of promos
>MUUH OVERCOME THE ODDS
>Actually creative
>poopy head
Okay hold onto your butts just 10 minutes to go until the first ever episode of Britfeel Fighting Federation Friday Night Feels
If this is the first BFF how did we decide the champions and who's in main event/midcard/jobbers?
>>25944175
>>25944268
Please, Tilde is just an unhappy guy, same as the rest of us.
>>25944277
Poleaboo admits he has flaws, but that tight ass and those thick biceps more than make up for it in his mind.
Who else here /protilde/?
>>25944277
Compared to Punk
>break kayfabe
>raise voice to express emotion
>reference only he and his 3 friends get
>capable of more than one repackaged promo
>CLOWNSHOES
bored desu lads, what can I do with myself? Preferably without leaving my PC
>>25940060
>>25940150
>>25940250
>>25940456
>>25940853
>>25940883
>>25941025
>>25941149
>>25941732
>>25941971
>>25942085
>2D waifu
truly pleb. 2D waifus are for dweebs
>>25944268
He/she seems cute
Nice/fragile
>>25944441
all me
This original comment brought to you by Papa Johns.
Part 1
>intro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRANTFTMpYs
>the camera pans around a sold out crowd at the ASDA Carpark
'SHOUT ANON AT RINGSIDE HERE WELCOME TO BFF FRIDAY NIGHT FEELS AND WHAT A SHOW WE'VE GOT LINED UP FOR YOU HERE MATES...'
>Music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSDxkWO5Fo4
'FUCK ME IT'S THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD NEVER GETS OUT OF BED ANON HERE TO KICK OFF THE SHOW FOR US, I WONDER WHAT THIS FAT NEET HAS TO SAY'
>NEVER GETS OUT OF BED ANON rolls to ring side on his mobile bed and down the ramp, the ropes are undone and the Chairman rolls into the ring on a special disability ramp set up after the BFF itself was sued for discrimination against people with weight problems by not providing a way for them to enter the ring
>NEVER GETS OUT OF BED ANON is handed a microphone
'Alright lads
>he stops to take a bite of the Dominoes pizza laid next to him
As we all know 2015 was a big year for all of you Britfeelers
>crowd starts cheering 'LET'S GO BRITFEEL'
Well I can tell you 2016 is going to be even bigger, which is why I am out here tonight to announce a match to decide who will lead this quality organisation through this new year... that's right tonight right here at the ASDA Carpark in Rotherham OP IMAGE GUY 2015 will be defending his BBC belt against the number one contender.... OP IMAGE GUY 2016!!!'
>OP IMAGE GUY 2016's music hits to some boos from the crowd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jm4EkrbnG6g
>OP IMAGE GUY 2016 makes his way down to the ring and picks up a microphone
'Why thank you NEVER GETS OUT OF BED ANON for this fantastic oppurtiunity to further myself and my career...
>crowd beings to chant 'YOU CAN'T PHOTOSHOP'
SHUT THE THE HELL UP... you people should be thankful I even bother to show up to entertain you... as I was saying...'
>suddenly music hits cutting of OP IMAGE GUY 2K16
'FUCK LADS WHO IS THIS INTERUPTING THE #1 CONTENDER AND THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD'
>>25944345
he's not the same, he feels the need to trip, avatarfag and have his shit tidle gimmick
>>25944465
>music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs
>a bespectacled middle eastern 'man' appears at the top of the ramp
'FUCKING HELL IT'S POLEABOO I THOUGHT THIS WEIRD CUNT GOT NICKED'
>Poleaboo makes his way to the ring and picks up a microphone
>he attempts to speak but the crowd are chanting over him
>'FREAK, FREAK, FREAK, FREAK'
>Poleaboo
'Enough!!... NEVER GETS OUT OF BED ANON how can you lay there and tell me this guy is the #1 contender for the BBC title, he doesn't even like BBCs'
>Never Gets out of Bed Anon
'Poleaboo... I don't think BBC title stands for what you think it stands for... And you know as well as I do you had your shot at the title but were stripped of the oppurtiunity after some 'gross misconduct' involving normies'
>Crowd cheers and begins again to chant 'FREAK FREAK FREAK'
>Poleaboo
' No! You are just the same as the normies! You are just the same as the police! Why are you victimising Poleaboo? Poleaboo is the greatest prospect in the BFF but because others hate him, for no fault of his own, now you and these fans...
>FREAK FREAK FREAK
...now you are going to persecute Poleaboo too? This is not right! Poleaboo deserves a title shot!'
>Never Gets out of Bed Anon
'Look mate, I decide who gets the title shots around here, and it isn't you, it is this lad right here OP IMAGE GUY 2K16... so could you please get the hell out of my ring'
>>25944234
I think it would be difficult to prove the algorithm was measuring what you wanted it to measure.
I'm sure it's possible to make an overall happy and friendly post containing all of those phrases.
>>25944480
>Poleaboo looks furious as he stares at NGOOBA and then towards the crowd
>he turns around to leave the ring dropping the microphone
>FREAK FREAK FREAK FREAK rings out around the arena
>Poleabbo begins to climb out of the ring, but then stops, spins around and charges at Never Gets out Of Bed Anon pulling furiously at his bed sheets
>NGOOBA grabs a hold of his sheets, his Dominoes is tossed all over the ring in the struggle 'Bloody hell lad calm down, OP Image Guy 2k16 do something for fucks sake!'
>OP Image Guy 2k16 charges Poleaboo and begins laying into him with right hands
>NGOOB anon shouts for security 'WE NEED SOME BOUNCERS DOWN HERE GET HIM OUT LADS'
>Poleaboo and OP Image Guy 2k16 are exchanging blows in the middle of the ring when security rushes in and grabs Poleaboo, dragging him out of the ring and backstage
>Poleaboo can be heard shouting out as he is carried from the stage 'I WANT JUSTICE!! THIS IS NOT FAIR!! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!'
>Cut to adverts.
y'all 'bout ta git fitered
>>25944465
Keep it coming lad
>>25944513
Now is the adverts...
>>25944534
Part 2
'ALRIGHT BOYS WELCOME BACK TO BFF FRIDAY NIGHT FEELS BROUGHT TO YOU BY OUR SPONSOR 'MR PAKI'S NEWS & OFF LICSENSE' SHOPPING ANYWHERE ELSE WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY HARAM! NEXT UP FOR YOU THE BUM TITLES ARE ON THE LINE AS THE NUMBER #1 CONTENDERS OUTSIDE FEAR CHALLENGE OUR CHAMPIONS THE WAGESLAVES'
>music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfR9iY5y94s
Tilde:
>making their way to the ring at a combined weight of 28 stone your BFF BUM champions Machine Operator Anon & Lobbyist Anon THE WAAGESLAAVES~
'WELL HERE THEY COME TWO UP AND COMING FORCES IN BFF THEY WORK HARD AND ARE VERY PROUD OF THAT FACT SOMETIMES GUYS BACKSTAGE DON'T LIKE IT BUT AS LONG AS THEY'VE GOT THAT GOLD THEY WON'T MIND'
>music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgSPaXgAdzE
Tilde
>introducing the challengers, from their mother's basements, McDonald's Anxiety Anon and Agoraphobia Anon... McDonald's Anxiety Anon and Agoraphobia Anon...~
'WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE THESE IDIOTS?!'
>The Wageslaves look at each other confusedly in the ring
>on the titantron we see the camera cut to backstage
>McDonald's Anxiety Anon is stood wearing his fedora and trench coat with a McDonald's milkshake in one hand his Nokia 3310 mobile phone held to his ear in the other
>'What do you mean you're still at home...? I know you have social anxiety so do I, I thought we were working through this... we have a title shot tonight and I even managed to stop at McDonald's to pick up a milkshake on the way here, admittedly I walked through the drive thru pretending to be a car to avoid going inside but that's not easy for me'
>he looks up and sees the camera
>'Fuck, I gotta go bye' McDonald's anxiety anon locks his phone and puts it into his trenchcoat pocket then waddles towards the camera putting his hands in front of the lens
>'S-stop filming me m-mate... that's it I'm g-going home I'm d-d-one here'
>McDonald's Anxiety Anon hurriedly lurches into the distance sipping his Strawberry milkshake as he fumbles away
>>25944480
>>25944513
Loving every line
>>25944480
>the police
holy kek my sides
think i may have a wank lads, probably to the pornstar raylene
>>25944564
'WELL WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE TWO MEANT TO DO NOW'
>The Wageslaves stand in the ring looking bemused towards the titantron as they try to make sense of what they have just seen
>suddenly both men are hit from behind by two gentlemen of Arab descent who knock them to the ground and start stomping them into separate corners of the ring
'SHIT ME LADS THAT LOOKS LIKE FIGHT ANON AND GYM PAKI FROM THE NATION OF ISLAMIFICATION! WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING OUT HERE?!'
>Machine Operator Anon starts to fight back against Gym Paki but as he begins to mount an offensive Fight Anon pulls a spanner from his tracksuit bottoms and hits Machine Operator Anon from behind
>Fight Anon then grabs Lobbyist Anon by his head in the center of the ring while Gym Paki grabs his legs and they perform the Allah's Guillotine DDT
>With The Wageslaves laid out in the ring and Gym Paki and Fight Anon standing tall (well as tall as 5'7 can be in Gym Paki's case) music begins to play
>music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gK1Dro5pr_0
>a Jamaican man wearing a turban appears at the top of the ramp and strolls towards the ring with a serious look on his face
'BLOODY HELL IT'S THAT DAFT BUGGER JAMAICAN MILITNT MUSLIM, THE LEADER OF THE NATION OF ISLAMIFCATION'
>Jamaican Militant Muslim observes the work of The Nation in the ring and then picks up a microphone to a chorus of boos
>'PAKIS OUT, PAKIS OUT, PAKIS OUT'
>>25944581
She's pretty grim lad, do you feel the shame?
>>25944586
'Shut up your rasicsts! I am here to deliver a message, a message from the all powerful Allah so you must listen...
>FUCK OFF ALLAH, FUCK OFF ALLAH, FUCK OFF ALLAH
You shall not disrespect almighty Allah!!... You see we have come to this ring today and done what none of these other NEETs backstage could, we beat up BUM champions The Wageslaves. You know why we did it? Because The Wageslaves go to work every day to pay taxes in order to finance the genocide of our Muslim brothers across the world by your corrupt government. But this is just the beginning. This is a Jihad, first we will take The Wageslaves gold and then we shall conquer all who stand in the path of the great Allah!
>All of The Nation begin to shout
'ALLAH AKBAR ALLAH AKBAR ALLAH AKBAR'
>they then fall to their knees and prey to Mecca
>cut to adverts
>>25944593
na, she's a thick latina milf m8
>>25944602
Part 3
'WECLMOE BACK TO FRIDAY NIGHT FEELS THEY WERE SOME DISTURBING SCENES THERE AND THEY WERE BROUGHT TO YOU BY OUR SPONSORS 'ARBRAKEBABRA' MAKING KEBABS MAGICAL.'
'NEXT UP HERE TONIGHT WE'VE GOT ANOTHER TITLE MATCH AS ANGRY ANON LOOKS TO TAKE THE BANTERWEIGHT TITLE FROM THE CHAMPION THE DIABETES KID'
>music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ffm7v_DPMRw
Tilde
>Introducing first the challenger, making his was to the ring straight from his shift at Poundland, AnnnnnngryAnon
>Angryanon marches to the ring looking furious shouting at the crowd on the way to the ring
'I WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE THE DIABETES KID RIGHT NOW IT LOOKS LIKE ANGRYANON'S BOSS WAS YELLING AT HIM AGAIN TODAY AT WORK'
>music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwgbfriHWt8
Tilde
>And the Banterweight Champion, from The Sweet Aisle at Tesco's, THE DIABETES KIIIIIID
>Diabetes Kid runs to the ring
>Angryanon wastes no time and opens up on Diabetes Kid as soon as he is in the ring, the bell rings
>Angryanon opens up with some early offence clothes lining TDK to the ground repeatedly
>LET'S GO DIABETES the crowd chant as they try to get behind their hero
>Angryanon Irish whips TDK into the ropes but TDK comes back at him with a flying elbow to the face as the crowd begin to make noise
>TDK hits multiple drop kicks, a sweeping leg take down and then begins to arm drag Angryanon from one side of the ring to the other
>Angryanon quickly rebounds to his feet after a fourth arm drag and charges at TDK in the opposite corner of the ring attempting a clothesline
>TDK gets out of the way and Angryanon smashes face first into the turnbuckle
>As Angryanon turns around dazed TDK hits a massive round house kick to the side of Angryanon's head
>DIABETES! DIABETES! DIABETES! The crowd chant
>The Diabetes Kid does his signature taunt as he mimics opening up a can of coke and downing it, much to the delight of the crowd
>>25944513
>Poleaboo is now considering becoming a prowrestler
>>25944627
>while Diabetes Kid has lost focus Angryanon has gotten back to his feet looking enraged, he begins punching himself in the head and screaming 'REEEEEEE' in an autistic fit of rage
>when TDK turns around Angryanon hits him with a massive spear and then proceeds to climb the top rope
'IT LOOKS LIKE ANGRYANON IS GOING FOR HIS SIGNATURE FLYING HEADBUTT HERE, SOME SAY THE REPEATED USE OF THIS MOVE IS WHAT ORIGINALLY LED TO HIS BRAIN DAMAGE, BUT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE HE WAS BORN RETARDED'
>suddenly music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=579WXdhwR00
'WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S POET ANON'S THEME SONG, ANGRYANON'S ARCH NEMESIS, WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?!'
>The fans go wild for Poet Anon as he stands at the top of the ramp smiling, Angryanon is perched on the top rope still and turns to look at Poet Anon screaming expletives in his direction
'Angryanon, his face as red as a beet
his boss at Poundland has him rushed off his feet
so he came to the BFF to earn himself respect
but the fans all saw through him, he is still a reject'
>The crowd go crazy for Poet Anon's poem and begin chanting 'REJECT, REJECT, REJECT' towards Angryanon who is furious with them he can be heard screaming 'I'M NOT A REJECT I'M SUCCESSFUL YOU FUCKING RAGGLE MELTS'
>As he is distracted TDK gets back to his feet and rushes up to the top rope to join Angryanon, he punches Angryanon in the head then places it between his legs, performing a Pepsi Plunge from the top rope
>1....2....3..... AND HERE'S YOUR WINNER AND STILL BANTERWEIGHT CHAMPION THE DIABETES KID
>Angryanon lays beat in the ring starring furiously but dazed up at Poet Anon who is grinning smugly at the top of the ramp
>Cut to adverts
>>25944627
>weclmoe
you must be full throttle son
>>25944642
Part 4
'THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AGAIN ON BFFS FLAGSHIP SHOW FRIDAY NIGHT FEELS, NEXT UP IT IS THE MATCH EVERYONE WAS BEEN WAITING FOR THE BBC TITLE MATCH OP IMAGE GUY 2K16 VS THE CHAMPION OP IMAGE GUY 2K15'
>Camera cuts to backstage where OP Image Guy 2k15 is being interviewed by Tilde, the crowd cheer loudly as OP Image Guy 2k15 appears on screen
Tilde
'OP Image Guy 2k15 you put your BBC on the line tonight against OP Image Guy 2k16, are you at all worried this could be the end for you and OP Image Guy 2k16 could be the future?'
OP Image Guy 2k15
'U wot m8...
>U WOT
U wot m8...
>U WOT
I SAID U WOT M8
>U WOT
Tilde you wanna stand there with your Pokemon card collection, your eating disorder, your sister's jeans and you want to ask OP Image Guy 2k15, a BFF icon, a national treasure, an ass whoopin machine if he is worried...?
>U WOT
Let me tell you something it doesn't matter who it is who steps into that ring I will be walking out with my BBC title. OP Image Guy 2k16 has got photoshop skills
>U WOT
I said he's got photoshop skills
>U WOT
I said he's got Photoshop skills
>U WOT
But is that going to be enough when the original OP Image Guy 2k15 is whooping his ass all over the ASDA Carpark Arena? EHHH UHHHHHH. So you can bring your brick wall, you can bring your anime window, you can bring your swastika grafiti, it ain't gunna matter because tonight OP Image Guy 2k15 is walking out of here BFF BBC champion and you are going home in a Rotherham ambulance... AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE... Because OP Image Guy 2k15 said so...'
'STRONG WORDS THERE FROM OP IMAGE GUY 2K15, HOW WILL OP IMAGE GUY 2K16 REACT? WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT'
>>25944602
Poleaboo is now considering stealing all this content and booking his own real life wrestling fed
>"Britfeel fighting federation"
>literally just one guy roleplaying via text
my god how embarrassing. Are people really enjoying this shit?
>>25944657
>music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jm4EkrbnG6g
Tilde
>Making his way to the ring, the challenger, OP Image Guy 2k16
>OP Image guy 2k16 confidently makes his way to the ring and awaits his opponent~
>music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXudyBan4AE
Tilde
>And the BBC Champion, the East Anglia Garden Snake, OP IMAGE GUY TWO THOUSAAAND FIFTEEEN
'THE CROWD ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL FOR OP IMAGE GUY 2K15'
>OP Image Guy 2k15 storms down to the ring and climbs each turnbuckle in turn before turning the face his opponent
>the bell sounds and the two OP Image Guys lock up in the middle of the ring
>2k15 gets the better of 2k16 and applies a headlock before 2k15 counters with an elbow to the ribs and plants a DDT
>2k16 stomps on 2k15 but 2k15 gets back to his feet and begins to fight back much to the delight of the crowd
>2k15 performs an irish whip into a back body drop
>2k15 continues the assault with a series of suplexes before throwing 2k16 into the turnbuckle and hitting a big splash
>2k16 falls to the matt and rolls out of the ring for a breather
>2k15 looks to the crowd and makes his signature photography taunt
>2k16 rolls back into the ring
>in his desperation 2k16 has picked up a Chinese cartoon figure from outside the ring and attempts to nail OP Image Guy 2k15 with it
>OP Image Guy 2k15 sees the attack coming just in time and is able to duck, countering with a kick to the gut and then hitting his signature Photofinish
'BLOODY HELL PHOTOFINSH PHOTOFINISH PHOTOFINISH!!!'
>OP Image Guy 2k15 hooks the leg
>1.....2.....3
>OP Image Guy 2k15 begins to celebrate in the ring with his title but his music is cut short and a face appears on the titantron
>it is Poleaboo
