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My mom and my shrink read r9k because I once talked about it in my sleep and they think it's "part of the problem" so to Tracy, you think this is a fucking game bitch?

> mom thinks I have potential
> for christmas she gets me "life coaching"
> hires one of the life coaches of the stars
> real big shit kind of thing helps millionaires
> costs a fortune
> makes me pissed off because I could have gotten so much shit with that cash instead
> "Amanda Seyfried? Cool but you never met a NEET, baby" I say as we meet at this posh little place
> see the thing is I haven't studied shit since school
> but for the weeks leading up to life coaching
> i studied the whole shabam
> I know everything about it
> "He who is prudent and lies in wait for an enemy who is not, will be victorious"
> because in a rpg game I learned about sun tzu and the importance of knowing your enemy
> my enemy is that tasty little bitch of a LC
> (they hate jargon and are supposed to talk normal)
> anyone go to session 1 yesterday
> sits me down
> starts chit chat
> I immediately turn the tables like some autistic debater
> "How was your drive over here."
> "Better than the drive from your place I imagine. My mom is richer than you and we have a lavish house. But then again, she's not on a life coaches salary so that could be why."
> she kind of disregarded it and said something about, "life is not about wealth, my goal isn't about money, it's about making people happy."
> asks me what makes me happy
> "let me show you."
> pull out my laptop and start showing her all the porn I fancy
> she's disgusted and tells me to turn it off
> pop a boner
> just start rubbing it over my comfy sweats
> she gets really mad and slams the lappy shut
> "Either take this seriously or I will tell your mom."
> whip out my dick
> "you too, babe"
> it was so epic I screencapped it in my brain
> will easily go down on my lifes highlight reel
> she looked completely stunned
> 1/2