POWERBALL
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Fuck. You'd be stupid NOT to play. Go buy your ticket, anon. It's your only way out.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/01/09/sales-grow-as-powerball-jackpot-soars-to-900-million.html
>>25615410
Go be stupid somewhere else please.
If only the Rodge was still alive to take part is this glorious event.
>>25615410
There is more of a chance of being struck by lightning than winning the lottery
billion dollars would buy a lot of hookers.
>>25615474
>>25615474
When it was only 500mil, the odds were one in 320 million.
Now that its doubled and everyone is playing, its probably closer to 1 in a billion to win.
Keep in mind, about 55% of it goes to taxes right away.
How do I buy a ticket? I never go outside and have some spare cash laying around.
>>25615410
>Jackpot gets high
>Dummies like OP let it blind them to the ridiculously small odds of winning
>Dummies like OP throw their money in the garbage by buying tickets
>Jackpot gets higher and the chances of winning get even smaller
It's kind of a brilliant scam actually. But it was pissing me off because yesterday at work everybody was putting money in an "office pool" to buy tickets, I was literally the only one who didn't and they all looked at me like I was crazy, talking about "how are you gonna feel when we win" and planning what they would do with the money "when" they won. I briefly tried to explain why I wasn't playing and why they weren't going to win (the insane odds) when one stupid bitch was like "stop putting negative energy out into the universe anon". Made me realize what morons I work with (in b4 wagecuck, yes I know).
>>25615707
>Keep in mind, about 55% of it goes to taxes right away.
Oh no. What ever will I do when they take 55% away... from my millions of dollars. How will I ever survive.
reminder that if you use quickpick you are a literal cuckold
>>25615792
Go to a gas station....do quick pick or pick your own numbers. You should do a combination of both though, sometimes the numbers are bizarre.
>>25615855
Well you were being negative. You didn't have to say anything. Just do your work and laugh to yourself at how stupid they are.
>>25615855
Well you are being kind of a bitch. Most people are well aware of how unlikely it is but you won't win if you don't even play.
>tfw there are rich people buying millions of tickets so a poor person doesn't have a chance at it
>>25615958
Well I know you have to go to a gas station but where would it be located in the gas station? I'd rather not waste the clerks time and ask and feel stupid for not knowing. Also how much are they?
>tfw after taxes here i'd only get $397,575,000
not worth it brahs TBQHWYF
I really wish I won. I think I deserve it more than anyone else in the world. I just recently got dumped by my qt pie gf and really feeling depressed. I just want to get revenge on all the people in my life that did me wrong and treated me like crap. What better revenge than winning 500 million dollars overnight. The first thing I would do is go on facebook and gloat my winnings , and than offer a million dollars to my "best friends" girlfriend for sex (had a huge crush on her for years). I'd go to the jobs of all my highschool bullys and laugh right in their faces. I'd go to my ex's house with a million dollar lambo and dance untop of it , taunting her. I would build a golden statue of myself in a popular area of my town and with the saying of how much better I am than the pathetic peasants who live here. I want my revenge robots, I want something good to happen to me for once.
>paying the idiot tax
>>25616005
They're up at the counter anon. You literally ask the teller to get you the tickets and then they'll ask you what numbers. That's when you should say "quick pick" as those are the randomly selected ones, unless you really want to pick your own numbers.
>>25616018
Everybody else that plays will be thinking along the same lines
has pasta potential though
>>25616005
There will be a lottery booth with a bunch of slips of paper. Find the powerball one. Fill in your numbers (5 white, 1 red) and bring it to the clerk. They'll print out a ticket with those numbers. Like I said though, you should do some quickpick as well, just ask for X number of quick picks. Each play costs 2 bucks.
>>25616011
Well that's if you get annuity which is retarded. You won't even see most of the money in your lifetime. cash value should be closer to 600 million. It's still a shit ton of money, just sayin.
>>25616018
>I think I deserve it more than anyone else in the world.
I feel the exact same way anon, and I can assure my life situation is a lot worse than "dumped by qt pie gf".
Do people usually have to scratch your ticket for the lottery? I never played before. I went to the store near me and asked the clerk for 10 lotteries and I think I got 10 lotteries but it gives instructions to scratch it.
>>25616061
>Well that's if you get annuity which is retarded
it's not the annuity m8. it's the lump sum
>>25616018
>dumb failed normie
>thinks he's most deserving
Nah.
>>25616094
LOL you don't scratch a fucking powerball ticket. Goddamn just google how to do it or >>25616061
>>25616018
>a million dollars
>not using an amount that's large, but still makes her have to question her values
i'd go $2,000. the kicker is that i really don't even give a shit if they say yes. i'd be spending the real money to fuck actual porn stars anyway.
>>25615410
If you don't buy at least 1 lottery ticket a month you are stupid.
Sure the chances are next to nothing, but for $1 or $2 (We have a few different lotteries here in Canada, dunno your prices really), the fact that the reward is so many orders of magnitude higher than the risk, it makes it worth just from the implied odds alone. You're risking $1 to potentially change your life, thats a good bet no matter how small the odds. Anymore than 1 ticket a month (or even year) doesn't really increase your chances at all, but you'd have to be stupid to not buy at least one.
>>25616099
Oh. Where'd the 55% come from? and why are you saying m8?
My friend brought up a good point in that you can't anonymize yourself if you do win. Which means, you're fucked if you win because people will rob you and harass you 24/7.
>>25615474
How will I get stuck by lightning if I don't leave my home? Checkmate, atheists.
>>25616123
I honestly don't know if she would do it for any amount. She has a great stable career job and only ever been with my friend. She is really conservative I believe. Plus she hates me and I might be considered gross to her. She would absolutely not do it for 2k. Maybe I should start out with 300k.
Also is doing this illegal? I don't want to get screwed by her trying to sue me for all my money for this. Just to be safe I think I would probably talk to my lawyer about this plan and see what he says.
>>25616173
Even if you spent 90% of that on a private military and a team of internet researchers and hired numedia manipulation companies youd still walk away a rich man, worth it desu.
With that much money you could burn out most medium businesses in length legal combat, let alone mysterious pregnant women youve never met before.
>>25616160
This
I buy one ticket a month, it costs near nothing and in return I get a tiny chance to win shitloads of money, which is laways better then nothing
>>25616173
naw, you just have to move to a nicer area of town with millionaires who dont care about your money. I did contract work for a couple people who won the lottery in my province, and they just lived by other millionaires/celebrities/politicians n shit and were never really bothered because no one there really cares about their money.
Also I highly doubt anyone will remember your face that well a year after you won. The only way strangers would know is if you tell them.
>>25616173
It's a scary thought, but I always wondered if I should move back to my small hometown where most people know me and probably wouldn't be thug niggers or if I should move to one of the richest areas in the country so that no one would need to rob/harass me. I'd probably get bothered by my family a lot, but I'm happy to give them whatever they want and it's better than getting robbed and possibly killed.
>>25616179
>this douche thinks he's more deserving of millions than ANYONE else
>>25615855
Jesus Christ you autist you need to learn when to just shut your fucking mouth and let normies be normies
>>25616173
I view it as a double sided coin
Good Side:
Girls will want to fuck the shit out of you
You get that rush of 15 minutes of fame
All your enemies see it was you who won on tv
Bad Side:
You become a target cause your money, always have to watch your back when outside,people will hit you up for money,you will get jeleaous hate
You will never know if a girl likes you for you or your money
If you are a Robot , people will see how autistic you look
>>25615410
Record high lottery in the US
Record high lottery the same day in the UK,
>>25616164
I think the 55% is taxes and other shit that gets pulled out, you'll wind up with 45% of the winnings in cash.
>>25616173
>switch your number immediately
>forward all your mail/bills so they go to a UPS box
>check into a hotel, shave head, shave eyebrows, wear fake beard, whatever, and go collect lotto winnings
>legally change your name after
obviously not all there is to it, but it's a start
>>25616280
Well yeah, my question was, what is there besides Federal and state tax? Unless the 55% refers to the highest state taxes like New York (which still probably wouldn't add up to 55).
>>25615855
Actually, I had my college advanced combinatorics professor (top engineering school) go through thie statistical opportunity cost thing for why it makes sense to play the lottery only when it's at extremely high levels. I have no memory of what the math was, though.
>>25615707
The odds of winning are the same baka.
Number of permutations don't change, it's still 1 in 292 million odds of winning the jackpot. Only thing that's gone down is your odds of being the only person who wins, but with the jackpot so large your expected payout is still going to be more now than ever.
That being said it's stupid to try and winMight buy a ticket later today
>>25616306
15% goes to marketing, paying the lottery agencies, etc.
1-2% goes to the store that sold it
25-30% goes directly to states
60%ish goes to winner, who then has to pay taxes on their winnings as income (state and federal)
I feel like this much money has its downsides.
Like, who the fuck would ever love you for you? They want your money. The only way you could ever find true love is if they had no idea of your wealth. Too many gold-digger hoes will be going after you.
>>25616018
>I just recently got dumped
stopped reading there. fuck off failed normie
Time to test my luck, I will purchase 1 ticket wish me luck space robots.
I'm going to fill some jews pockets with my own money I worked for, basically for nothing.
Face facts, you're not Charlie Bucket. It's not just going to be your lucky day.
>>25616160
I can't afford 1$ a month.
Stop measuring everyone with your own ruler
Anyone know anyone who won the lottery?
My mom's friend from work a while back did. It was only about 3 million, though. It wasn't enough for her to stop working or anything, so she just kept her job, drove the same car, lived in the same house, and put almost all of it away for retirement savings. Boring but it's good to know that not everyone who wins is dumb.
>>25616392
with this much money you can set up multiple versions of you and pay assistants to manage the personas
like you'll have the baller version, the average joe with an average apartment/car version, etc. just use your average joe version to date IRL
If you were to win the powerball, how would you use the money to make normies lives miserable?
>>25616443
This 1 dollar is 100 gbp, I need 1000 gbp to buy tendies
SURVEY TIME!!
>How many tickets are you going to buy?
>What would be the very first thing you do once your money is available? FIRST.
>Where will you live and in what? Dream house or fancy city apartment?
>Where will your first vacation destination be?
>Who will you spit on with your money?
As for me,
>9 tickets, so I can do powerplay and not spend over $20
>The very, very first thing I'd do is hire a bodyguard for the weekend and go to a nice hotel somewhere nearby to relax alone and let everything sink in. Ideally I'd go to a casino/hotel but maybe a casino wouldn't be safe
>I'd live in my dream home in a suburb of one of the cities in my state
>First big vacation would be NYC I think, to have a chance to indulge in "rich people" stuff
>At first I wanted to avoid spending any money in this state other than taxes because I'm quite salty about the poor job opportunities and corruption, but I just wouldn't like being away from my family. I don't really have anyone/anything else to shit on.
>>25616392
>who the fuck would ever love you for you?
Anon, does anybody currently do so?
>>25616535
If I won, literally the first thing I would do is post pic on r9k.
I am a sad, sad man.
>tfw time-traveler
>tfw tonight's winnings numbers are 11 27 40 44 57 03
>tfw literally no one will believe it
time travelling is fun
>>25616550
I'd rather be unloved than feel fake love.
>win
>place money in bank
>live frugally off the interest
>launder the remaining money through various banks
>channel funds to my preferred military factions in the Third World
>money goes so much further in the Third World, I could make or break whole movements
>I could thereby remake the political landscape of nations
>slowly remake the world according to my principles
>>25616595
Shit dude all I would do is buy vinyl records and a nose job
>>25616568
Fuck you anon, stop trying to make me waste $2.
>>25616033
i too thought the exact same thing
here is a picture of mfw i read your post
>>25616568
hi tila!
>>25616535
I have never bought one of the actual lottery lotteries, I go for scratch tickets.
I'm going to buy 1 powerball ticket with zero expectations because why not
>>25616595
Except if you keep your money in the bank you're going to be losing money to inflation. The interest rates are less than the inflation rates so you'd be better finding someone to manage your money
>>25616568
if dubs the meme magic will occur
>>25616392
so why is that a downside?
>no money
literally nobody will ever love you
>money
literally nobody will ever love you
what does winning change?
>>25616606
Damn it, son of a bitch is going to make me play those numbers....
>>25616535
>0
>go to an expensive restaurant
>fancy apartment in florida
>N/A
>nobody
>>25616619
>no money
People just ignore me.
>money
People constantly trying to get my money.
>>25616640
So you'll be a financial equivalent to a female
>>25615410
It sure worked for Ell Jay.
>>25616094
Top Kek
This nigga went to get a power ball and got scratch offs
Just an hero
>be me
>work has a lottery pool
>they always ask me to put money in
>I keep telling them that the lottery is a tax on the poor
>the odds are astronomically low
>it's just a waste of money
>one day they hit the fucking JACKPOT
>ask for a share because I'm their coworker
>they tell me that I never put in money so I don't get to
>they all quit their jobs and left with $3.7m each
>I'm still here
I have been playing every day since and I haven't won
ITT: Poor people
>>25616535
>How many tickets are you going to buy?
probably 5
>What would be the very first thing you do once your money is available? FIRST.
pay off all my debt
>Where will you live and in what? Dream house or fancy city apartment?
will have a fancy penthouse in l.a. and nyc
>Where will your first vacation destination be?
travel all over europe
>Who will you spit on with your money?
nobody
OP you need to learn a little something called probability.
The house will always play because there's a good chance that overall it will gain more than it lost.
>>25616704
Correct
But really, what's the harm in buying a single ticket when the jackpot is this high? Moderation of course, but there's nothing wrong with spending $2 for the slight tinge of hope in the back of your head
>>25616704
sorry, i wasn't born with daddy's money
>>25616700
delicious if true. loving every laugh
>>25616535
>How many tickets are you going to buy?
zero I'm not even a burger
>What would be the very first thing you do once your money is available? FIRST.
set up a bank account and a credit card so I can pay for stuff online
>Where will you live and in what? Dream house or fancy city apartment?
I'd just get a cheap but not too cheap city apartment
>Where will your first vacation destination be?
wouldn't go anywhere, what's the point
>Who will you spit on with your money?
my "friends" from university, fuck those faggots
I'd give some cash for my sister and my niece, my parents even though they're kind of assholes and my grandparents so they can finally retire.
Then I'd live normally posting on 4chan everyday, but this time with everything I could ever want delivered to my room.
>>25616535
>>How many tickets are you going to buy?
50
>>What would be the very first thing you do once your money is available? FIRST.
70% straight to a premium savings account, 25% into an investing account and I'll talk with the bank before investing
>>Where will you live and in what? Dream house or fancy city apartment?
Same apt
>>Where will your first vacation destination be?
No where
>>Who will you spit on with your money?
No one
>>25616700
lmfao got what you deserved cunt. Though they're still dumb normies for quitting their jobs with 3.7 mil. They're gonna blow through that in a year.
>>25616443
well ya, if you cant afford $1 a month you probably dont live in a country with powerballs or you should focus on getting a real job first.
>>25616731
If there's one jackpot eveyr tweek and you buy one you are losing $104 a year. In ten years that is $1040. If you live past 100 (which some people alive right now might seriously do) you spent $10,400 just to lose.
>>25616700
This story isn't true, but I wish it was.
>>25616568
You idiot, stop or I will call the time traveling police
How much does a ticket cost?
Gotta gas up my car today and I like to go inside for a delicious, refreshing Coke Zero.
I have a two dollar scratch off I got for christmas I need to turn in so I might as well use it on that
>>25616568
The chance of you actually being a time traveller is probably higher than winning the Powerball
>>25616759
You're forgetting that there's more than just the max jackpot prize.
I played the lotto where I live for close to 2 months every week "for free" (not really because I had to buy the original ticket), because I kept chaining free plays together. I've also won $150-$200 a few times, which pays for over a year of lotteries. But ya even if you played every single week you would most likely not end up spending $2 every single week.
>>25615902
You will never win them to begin with, so it's a non issue.
>>25616640
so having money is worse cause normies won't fucking leave you alone
>>25616823
Lighten up and dream with us you faggot.
>>25615410
>You'd be stupid NOT to play
The chance of winning is incredibly small - you've got more chance of getting hit by lightning three times in a row. Buying lottery tickets is paying stupid tax.
if I win I won't kill myself
>>25616828
When it's an absurd amount of money like that, yes.
I want to just be moderately rich. Where money isn't a worry, but I can still be me.
>>25616756
>a real job
oh I'm sorry I didn't realize my job is imaginary
fuck you
>play whenever the jackpot goes to at least $300M
>happens like 1-2 times per year, if that
>buy a single """"lucky"""" ticket each time
>if i play for the next 75 years i will have wasted like $300 in total
i like playing for the fantasy and have disposable income, but know i wont win.
>>25615707
Idiot that's not how it works. The odds are still the same.
>>25616759
> $104 a year.
To plenty people that's not much, and it's no different than spending it on other wasteful luxuries
>>25616415
I hope you win anon.
Believing in you.
If I win I'll set up a thread on /r9k/ and paypal people 1000 bucks or so
>>25616833
If I were to gamble I'd rather play poker, at least my skill is involved and I know there are chances to win, lottery is fucking retarded and it's no coincidence it always goes to a family member of someone that works for the government. At least where I live, I'm not murrican.
When I win I want to Build a huge gothic style mansion (like pic related but much much grander/bigger) on 1500 acres of land filled with beautiful trees, paths, streams of water, and natural wildlife. I really have no perception of money so how much would this really cost me?
>>25616018
>Muh gf dumped me, I haven't had sex in a WEEK!
Boohoo
>>25616759
Small price to pay for hope.
That's cheaper than church donatons, cult memberships, etc.
>all these retards spazzing out over a 2 dollar ticket
yeah, your odds are next to zero, but it's 2 fucking bucks
what better things were you planning on doing with that money?
>>25617014
Lol it most likely wouldn't put a dent in your winnings.
>>25616173
Get a lawyer and look into creating a trust The only people that would really know after that is the IRS. Unless you do something retarded like going from being a NEET to living in a mansion overnight.
>>25616535
>0
>take the next flight to tokyo
>an apartment here in nyc, with a nice beach house somewhere in socal
>see #2
>homeless people
>>25617041
They'd rather buy a McDouble than several hours of grandiose dreams a week. Chumps.
>>25615410
There's some serious powerball shilling going on on nearly every board I visit.
>>25615410
You literally have a better chance of getting a girlfriend than winning this thing.
who /scratchtickets/ here? i hope i get to win the 1000$ for life one. i would be set with that amount
I would donate 50% to Heifer
Then 30% to Smiletrain
The rest I would give to my parents since they're struggling with my sisters medical bills.
As long as I had $20 left over for that jacket I want at Macy's I'd be happy. It's fun to dream.
>>25617041
>Buy 2 coffees
>Or flush 2 dollars down the the toilet
Why aren't you throwing money around the street? The odds your money will grow into a tree of money is the same.
If I win the lottery I will devote all of the money toward breeding as many spiders as possible, and then I will release spiders in every city in the US.
>>25617098
kill yourself, no seriously kill yourself
>>25617041
I could buy some food with it so I can actually survive
>>25615855
it's only 2 bucks. You should have done the office pool you faggot.
>>25616759
I was with some friends and we started talking about the lottery so I decided to play. I pulled $100 out of my wallet and gave it to my friend who lives on the state border so he could buy me some powerball tickets. I spend that much a week on random bullshit.
$104 in a year is nothing.
>>25617042
Really? I figure that the mansion itself maybe??? what 20 million? and than I have no idea how much 1500 acres of quality land is but I guess maybe another 7 million?
>>25617090
I have an unscratched december calender, with a jackpot of 100.000 euro, 3 of the 3 are still unclaimed.
I'm gonna scratch it sometime soon, hope I win.
>>25617206
good luck pham, whats the most you've ever won?
>>25617090
Be sure to check online and make sure that there are still winning tickets out there for what ever scratch off game you play.
Also has anyone ever met someone in real life who won the lottery or scratch off (like serious money scratchoffs). I never have , I'm almost convinced this is all just a scam by the jews and than they fix it so one of theirs gets to be the winner and the rich just keep getting richer.
>>25616392
>, who the fuck would ever love you for you?
they don't already. I'm a 27 HKV,and friendless.
>>25617228
Not much I think about 10 euro or something.
Good luck to you too.
>>25617228
>whats the most you've ever won?
35,000,000,000,000,000 Zimbabwean dollars
>>25617195
Don't forget to figure in upkeep, taxes, etc.
What about staff? Will you have a separate quarters for your own Chef, maid, etc?
>mfw I can't build my dream tabletop room and invite all the underprivileged kids to come wargame at my mansion
>>25616759
>104 a year
normies spend more than that on their smartphone bills.
>>25616535
>0
>give to the community a bit, give to family and my friend
>live in dream house built on acres of private land in this state or a state with equal or better gun rights, probably depending on what state has the nicest spot for my house
>there's not anywhere I really want to go
>I will spit on groups that oppose DEADLY SALT WEAPONS
>>25617306
I'd just live by myself in my mansion. Maybe only hire people to do the upkeep for my outside grounds, but they wouldn't stay on my property or be there everyday.
>>25617041
>yeah, your odds are next to zero
actually your odds of winning a money prize is 1 in 26. I've won 4 dollars here and there. it's fun
>>25617406
You'd be a millionaire and not want the ability to press a button and have Horatio bring you a steaming plate of tendies with a painters pallet of dipping sauces?
>2016
>not building a literal castle
>>25617082
It's the highest powerball jackpot in years, people are gonna talk. Not necessarily shilling.
>>25617631
That's exactly what a shill would say.
>>25617195
No, a really big house wouldn't cost $20 million dollars. Not even those ridic beachside houses that celebrities buy cost even $5 million.
Who else would buy a loyal girly virgin gf? To me that would be the dream...i wouldnt even know what to do with the money after that besides buy a house so she can be comfortable
Gas station attendants around me are all fob pooinloos, what precisely do I say if I want a ticket for the powerball but I don't want to pick my numbers?
>>25617664
apparently this mansion would cost 90 million dollars to build . That's way too expensive even if you were the only person to hit the lottery tonight.
>>25617070
>this is why large corporations like mcdonalds are evil
>>25615410
On the one hand, it is incredibly unlikely you will win. On the other hand, it's only like a few bucks, so you might as well play. On the other hand yet again, this logic applies to it all the time, so you might as well play every week/month. I mean, does it really make a difference whether you win 10 million or 100 million or 900 million? Why not play all the time? Because it's a waste of money.
>>25615855
You don't understand how those people think. They are poor, uneducated idiots. In their mind, the lottery is their chance at getting a good life, and they desperately cling to that idea.
Basically like this guy >>25616018
>>25616173
>you can't anonymize yourself
Nobody knows me except my family. I don't have friends, i live in a dorm so i dont have a direct landlord, etc.
If the news show some certain "Anon so-and-so" won the lottery, nobody would know who that is.
>>25616176
You leave your home to buy a lottery ticket.
>>25616392
>They want your money
That's already the case.
Women traditionally don't work because they think they don't need to and because they raise children, so they're going to look for a man with a job. It doesn't matter if you make 3000 a month or you make 90mil in the lottery, they're still going to be after your money
Also,
Imagine stealing somebody's credit card, but you don't know their PIN code. You go to an ATM, and you have 1 (one) chance to enter the correct PIN.
You try a random number.
I can guarantee you it's going to be incorrect, and that's only a 1 / 10000 chance.
The lottery is much worse, my probability professor made an interesting comparison, but i'm European so i'll try to "convert" it to American:
Imagine you line up empty beer bottles (standing up, not laying down) from Washington DC to somewhere in South Carolina. But ONE of the bottles is actually full
You are supposed to pick one bottle at random.
That's how lottery is
People simply can't imagine immense numbers like 1 / millions (whatever the chance is)
>>25617724
just bring cash and ask for powerball numbers. the shitskin at my gas station didnt even ask me if I wanted to pick mine just gave me some randoms
>>25616392
That's why you NEVER tell anybody that you're rich lol
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2ki2w9/woman_drops_boyfriend_because_he_lives_frugally/
https://archive.is/Zrl3w
example
lmao
>>25617639
You have to stop living this life of paranoia, resentment and stress.
>>25617725
That's unheard of... Must be some unnecessarily pricey material.
>>25617714
What I would do after winning (I'll just skip all the lawyer and financial adviser, multiple bank accounts, and offshore vaults stuff)
>Buy Mansion in woods for me and my family (set up hiking trails and make sure that bitch is gated)
>Buy Beachfront property in Hawaii
>give current house to some relative just so we can come back for nostalgia purposes in my home town
>Buy brand new Lambo ,Porsche 911, BMW, Bullet Proof window Mercedes , and a modest Dodge Charger to blend in with poor people
>Get my family whatever car they want, maybe get each a new sports car like a Ferrari because I know they will ask for modest cars like Honda or Nissans
>Vasectomy
>Spend first year enjoying my money with the USA, banging girls, partying with friends, just living the high life
>After first year, ask three of my best friends if they want to travel the whole world with me for the next year and half, tell them it's not a vacation but an adventure and could be dangerous
>Travel the world, almost every country, backpacking and staying at nice hotels when can but also maybe hostels, Get guides for more dangerous countries like Columbia, Africas, Turkey, Indonesia
>Come back home and relax after that year and half
>Fly to Ukraine and spend some time there finding a Beautiful Blonde Hair Blue Eyed Nice virgin legal age girl who would be loyal to me and treat me good
>If she passes my expectations I will marry her and make her sign prenup ofcourse
>come back to USA and start a family
>>25616173
I'm gonna do this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/you_just_won_a_656_million_dollar_lottery_what_do/
>>25617929
Sounds boring and too flashy/pricey 2bh
>>25617819
I feel kind of bad for her. I understand wanting to test someone, but most women aren't going to be into a guy that's poor and doing nothing with his life and that's how he portrayed himself so that's a shitty way to test someone. If he portrayed himself like an average joe, things may be different.
>>25617983
Good, he was looking for a girl that wasnt like most women and got what he wanted :^)
>>25617998
Sure, I guess! Seems kind of spiteful though.
>>25617725
are you sure that just isn't the listed price?
Why the hell do people buy more tickets when it's at 900 million? What's the difference between 100 million and 900 million?
You are not going to spend that kind of money in your life time unless you are an idiot to begin with.
Fuck sake people. You can't even win the goddam thing.
>>25617929
I'd do the same, but with a private jet and bodyguard. I've got millions, I only need a few thousand to go on that wild adventure you mentioned.
>>25618036
Yeah maybe its not ideal for wooing the average girl in but he wanted more than the average girl it seemed like. You have to remember that you have to be very careful with your money and dick man, otherwise the cunt will go to the courts and take 90% of your money and possessions.
At that point you might as well just do a murder suicide and get it over with, better than letting a random roastie walk away with everything you won
>>25618097
more money to fuck off with.
honestly i wish i could win even just a couple million dollars, but i never win anything.
>>25618104
oh and instead of finding a pure virgin waifu, I'd just pay some girl with good genes to carry my heir. the rest of the time I'll fuck whatever I pay for.
>>25616535
>How many tickets are you going to buy?
Maybe 1 or 2
>What would be the very first thing you do once your money is available? FIRST.
Eat a big meal and buy all the groceries I want, go back to eating 3 meals a day, and then give money to a bunch of people I know, stop my 2 best friends from having to be wagecucks
>Where will you live and in what? Dream house or fancy city apartment?
Neither, mid-tier house outside of a decent city.
>Where will your first vacation destination be?
Japan or New Zealand
>Who will you spit on with your money?
Former friends, enemies. But likely I'd just disappear and let them think I was dead instead.
That's the funny thing about the lottery. It's not even gambling. Gambling requires you to be risk loving. But there is no real risk playing the lottery. You lose a few bucks. Big deal. In order to buy your ticket week for week, constantly buying those little snips of paper with some spare dollars you have to be the most risk-averse cuck of all time. You can't even bear running the risk of losing out on the CHANCE OF YOUR LIFE WOOOH!
>tfw just bought ten tickets
If I win I'll open a thread up and send some money to folks. But there's no way in hell I'll win anyways.
>>25615410
I fucking hate people. They keep throwing away their money and raising the jackpot so SOMEONE ELSE CAN WIN.
For fucks sake why pay for someone elses free ride.
>>25615410
>Grand Prize odds: 1 in 292,201,338.00
fuck that
>>25618112
Did you read those comments though? Completely shitting on the girl for having ANY expectations of an adult relationship. And this girl dated him for almost a year and seemed completely indifferent about her feelings. Sounds to me like he's just a self-fulfilling prophecy fag that I wouldn't want to date even after finding out he's rich.
>>25618241
Make sure that you only are giving actual robots on here money and not the Chads in disguise
>>25615410
>Paying the stupidity tax
>Calling others stupid
Feels good not being innumerate.
I just spent $275 on tickets and now barely have enough money to eat for the rest of the month. I don't usually play the lottery but the thought of winning enough money to escape my shitty life forever was too much to resist. I hate my life and think about killing myself every day. This lottery drawing is the only thing that's given me a modicum of hope in years.
How dumb am I?
>>25618347
Wait are you a grill, a fag, or playing doubles advocate? I agree that he seemed like an autist but still...in that situation money will always win. he can act however he want since hes in a position to and doesnt have to worry about the future. I think he was smart for not letting his guard down, its very suscpectible to get scammed and cucked when youre walking around with that kind of money, especially with how low quality in general the average american girls brain is
Well, to be fair to the normies,
If you don't play the lottery you have a 0% chance of ever having hundreds of millions
If you do play, you at least have some chance, no matter how microscopically low it is, its still higher than a 0
>>25618445
>How dumb am I?
>I just spent $275 on tickets and now barely have enough money to eat for the rest of the month
what do you think?
>>25617929
I would:
>build my dream house
>buy a couple cars nothing flashy
>buy weapons and ammo (tax stamps and shit are no big deal now)
>invest in a few companies heavily so I can get returns goin
>start my own Security/PMC company. Or buy into the upper echelon of an existing one (Military support and gov contracts are the biggest legal racket world wide right now).
>go into semi retirement with wealth still pouring in and spend the rest of my life pursuing my hobbies and passions, spoiling my wife, making sure my kids got the best education possible, attending meetings and hearing about how the company is doing and then fucking back off to my yacht or ranch depending on the season.
>all with literally a private army for my VIP events, money still coming in, and my family already invested in the one industry that is always in business besides the vices.
>>25615410
This is a scam; the winning numbers haven't even been printed yet.
>>25618445
Very dumb.
>>25618042
It's fucking biltmore estate It would be like pricing the taj mahal. Actual material cost is irrelevant
>>25618445
Very dumb. Your odds of winning the grand prize are 1 in 292,201,338. Hope you've got some good luck, anon.
>the person you hate most in this world just won the lottery (can't say yourself)
How do you react?
I deserve to win this more than literally everyone else who will be playing and it fucking ENRAGES me that I won't win.
Seriously, I hope whoever wins loses their arms and legs in a car accident and has their entire family die of cancer. I DESERVE THE MONEY MORE THAN ANY OF YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU NOTHING HAS EVER GONE RIGHT IN MY LIFE SO I DESERVE THIS ONE THING
>>25618478
I'm a grill. And while the girl in particular doesn't sound like a great person herself because she actually cares about what people post on Facebook and is a keeping-up-with-the-Joneses type, I just don't see the guy as some kind of hero. They're both shitty in their own ways.
>>25618445
Extremely dumb. You're a total fucking moron.
>>25618445
You could buy one ticket vs however many $275 buys, it's not going to make much of a difference in the long run. Last "regular person" to win the powerball only spent $14 on plays. But I understand anon, I truly understand. Hope is fucking powerful, you gotta appreciate that.
>>25618515
There's a huge difference between building cost and list price, so be more specific.
>>25618366
Right now, there is someone being told they are wasting their money on a "stupidity tax"
This person is going to be hundreds of millions richer because of it. What will you say to him then?
>>25618568
Interesting. Why do YOU deserve it more than anyone? I want to feel like that, but I know it's not true. I know there's someone out there who has it worse than I do. And you know it too.
buying a ticket because you might win is the same logic as going outside because a diamond meteor might fall out of the sky. It's just dumb.
>>25618624
Exactly, you just said it. Someone with that much money can literally afford to have better taste than someone who rots their brain on social media and cares about status. He sounds pretty autistic and clueless but i think he did good for upholding his standards, since he seems to want the girl to submit to him rather than he crawling and groveling to her. How long he can get away with that as he ages though, thats another story
>>25618568
I know precisely how you feel, anon. It's okay. It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
>>25615855
You do know while the chances are slim of anyone in this thread winning they still have a better shot at that kind of money than you ever will for not buying a ticket. its kinda of how life in general works. Better to waste a single dollar trying than to be a negative fuck like you and not try at all.
>>25616018
You will dead within a week if you do that.
Anyone else get depressed thinking about winning and all you can do with it, only to realize you won't win anything at the end of the day
>>25618948
Bummed maybe but not depressed.
>You beat the impossible odds and win big
Go find your new house on a luxury real estate website and claim your new palace for the luckiest person in history.
>$159,000,000
>World's first IMAX home theater
>Go kart track
>Ice skating rink
>$3,000,000 worth of decorative gold leaf
>>25619020
>having to hire an entire staff to keep up this kind of house
No thanks. Half a million to 1 million dollar house is just fine.
>>25619020
Wow. Literal rip off. You can get better houses than that for like 5 million. You can even build a house on your very own private island for 5 million.
>>25619067
You'd have to have an entire team of people to look after that kind of money in the first place, a small staff to keep your huge mansion pretty is an irrelevant amount of drain on your funds.
I'd buy a shit ton of dividend stocks like AT&T and live the NEET dream forever.
>mfw cigarette smoker tells me going for the huge jackpot is a waste of money
>>25615410
The bong lottery is also pretty big tonight. It's 58m Queenbux, but we don't pay any tax on it, so it's like a straight $90m dollars.
I got 5 tickets in birthday cards, and I'm feeling pretty lucky lads.
>tfw 2015 was the worst year of my life
>went from working and going to school and not having a care in the world to almost instant poverty because my dad got really sick
>entire family collapsed because they all depended on my dad
>moved back home
>have to get super shitty fast food job
>slowly getting more and more depressed
>dont see much changing in the near future because again everyone besides myself depended on my dad who now can no longer work
>tfw thinking about killing myself but know that my family would suffer greatly from it since i do everything for them now
I wish I could win I want to get my family back on their feet and have myself go back to how I was living. Honestly if you made me a deal and said I win but I can't touch the money or use it on myself just my family but I could go back to living how I was I'd fucking sign on the dotted line.
Just bought 5 tickets, good luck anons, I know you guys deserve it too.
I'll probably throw a dollar on it later.
If I win, I'll buy 4chan and remove /soc/ and /b/ so the normshits leave
>>25619621
That's nothing compared to nearly 1 BILLION dollars
>>25619744
$90m or $900m
It's such an absurdly large amount of money, it doesn't even really matter.
>>25619786
Anything past 20 mil can be invested properly where you never have to work again
If I win. Will I be able to get a gf?
>>25617090
I won 5k on one of those once. It was just under the taxable amount for my state so I got the full amount.
Ended up losing my virginity due to that.
>>25619865
be able to?
Man you will have girls jumping all over you. The stupidest thing to do would be getting a solid gf if you plan on being loyal, you will be able to get any girl you want no matte how socially awkward you are. Girls treat you completely different when you are in the position of being desirable as in a rich mother fucker. When you are a desirable male you don't even have to worry about shit like small talk because she will just control the situation, being awkward because she will just ignore all your awkwardness, doesn't matter if you are fat or ugly because she will say she loves you body anyway, small dick no problem it's perfect for her. It will be living the good life man.
>>25615410
I wouldn't bet my money for a 1/1000 chance. Why would I bet for a 1/~200000000.
Can you faggots even fathom that number? Imagine a room full of 200,000,000 entities. Having trouble? That's probably because you can't even fathom a number that big.
You aren't going to win "cuz u deserve it", and no supernatural forces are going to help you win.
Those are the numbers. It's virtually impossible for you to win.
Lottos are a tax on the stupid, and should be illegal.
>>25619961
It's a fucking dollar and it benefits charity. Even if it's statistically similar to throwing a dart off the empire state building and trying to hit a bullseye at the bottom, there's still a chance.
It's cheaper than a fucking breakfast burrito
>>25619961
BUT SOMEONE ALWAYS WINS
>>25616018
You're autistic. There's niggers in the inner city who've been raised by gangbangers and dope slingers, who've never had a single opportunity given to them in their entire lives, and theyre probably buying lotto tickets thinking "Da lawds gunna help me dis time 'round".
They're thinking the same thing you are except they have it worse off.
>>25618703
Well the anon was talking about having a mansion built. So I think building cost is what matters here.
>take lump sum
>fuck off to Belize
>get a computer
>invest everything in the ruble
>watch as a huge sum of USD floods the market
>prices driven down 1 to 60
>cash back
>sit and count my billion as I watch russia burn
>>25620053
And 99.9999999999999999999999% always lose
>>25617760
but.. on the other hand, someone always picks the right bottle eventually.
>>25620053
>be this time
>someone doesn't win
>prize keeps going up
>$5b
>$10b
>$50b
>people literally losing their minds
>$100b
>celebrities lose entire fortune to lotto tickets
>$1t
>bill gates actually begins playing the lottery
>economy grinds to a halt
>earth dies
I can't remember the optimal time to buy lottery but I believe it was around $70 million according to math professor who looked at the data for payout vs number of players etc.
>so many people saying "I'll take the lump sum."
>literally throwing away HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS due to impatience
why are people so retarded when it comes to money?
>>25620265
I mean I wouldn't take the lump sum but once you're in the hundreds of millions and if I was a 60 year old I'm not waiting around might as well live it up now.
>>25615410
You have a higher chance of getting assassinated than winning even 0.00000001% of that Jackpot
>>25620044
It's less likely than that.
And it's a dollar that I could be keeping to spend on something that's going to happen.
It's kinda hard to conceptualize, but there is virtually no chance. You say there is a chance, as if there actually is a reasonable chance in reality for you to win.
1/200,000,000 is so far beyond a reasonable chance, but it's such a big number with such a high reward, that morons actually think it's worth taking.
>>25620053
You're more likely to die on your way to buying a lotto ticket than you are to actually win the lotto.
Sure someone always wins, but that's because a number of people larger than your scope of reality play the game.
There are a plethora of things you could spend your money on that will be a better investment.
>>25620170
>aliens come to earth before it dies to play the lotto
>>25620170
That's unlikely.
It's more likely that someone will win when billions of people play.
>>25620265
the difference between me and you is that i can get an actual return that exceeds the annuity payout in less than the time it would take me to wait for the annuity. i get most people want to play it safe but i'm aiming for a billion dollars.
>inb4 no ur dumb fagit u dont know sheit about investing!!
actually i'm jewish :^)
>>25620170
>amount increases to $17t
>US gov't begins to play the lotto
>>25616392
Just don't tell anyone inless you really trust them
I'd only tell my parents and my best friend since we were little kids since I'd want to help them out financially anyway since they're family.
>>25616475
A relative's husband's dad won it
Which is funny since they were already pretty wealthy WASP's. They didn't blow all their money because they were already responsible with their wealth.
>>25616392
>Like, who the fuck would ever love you for you?
>implying anyone is ever going to love me for me
If I one jackpot this big and had hundreds of millions I think I would set aside a couple million for parents, family, friends etc who ask for help but that's it.
I won't miss it, and I'm not huge scrooge, it's their fault if that's enough.
>>25619865
You might get marriage proposals from 10/10s everyday for the rest of your life.
Then you'll realize you can't discern between the millions of women who want your money, and the 1/1,000,000 so girls who actually could love you.
>>25620358
Yeah but it's a dollar.
A dollar.
1$
I have that in quarters alone on my truck's floorboard.
>>25620506
Couldn't you just live modestly or put up facade so they don't know?
I don't know the faces of any rich people except the few famous ones and people like celebrities.
>>25620170
umm...if it's 50 billion you can literally just play every single number combination at that point and gurenteed a win.
>>25616475
You can most certainly live on 3 million for the rest of your life. A very very comfortable life as well. That is about 3 times the amount most people make in a lifetime.
>>25620655
Yeah 3 mill seems pretty comfy.
>>25616392
I'd rather have people pretend to love me than have radio silence.
Just get a vasectomy and refuse to marry anyone and I'm golden.
>>25620546
And 5 of those dollars can buy a sandwich, something that will receive and enjoy.
That $1 will virtually give you nothing in return unless you got a thrill from awaiting your loss.
Ever heard that famous phrase "a penny saved is a penny earned"? Don't just throw away for money.
If you want to donate to charity, fine. But donate to a worthy charity that gives a higher percentage of your dollar to the reciepients of that charity than the lotto does to make their operation legal.
>>25620556
Then the money won't get you a gf.
It might make you live more confidently, and therefore get you a gf.
>>25616099
Lump sum is the best way. With present value of money and the ability to put it back into the stock market, your lump sum will be greater than 900 million by the time that you would have received the last annuity payment.
900M is literally start a dynasty tier money
>>25615855
>Jackpot gets higher and the chances of winning get even smaller
The chances of winning are exactly the same no matter how high the jackpot is dumbass.
>>25620908
IT'S A DOLLAR
A FUCKING DOLLAR
1 SOLITARY DOLLAR
I CANNOT BUY JACKSHIT WITH A DOLLAR
>>25620386
Think of it as another statistical lottery; nobody wins the lottery despite billions playing everytime.
>>25621007
>"nobody wins the lottery"
>someone wins the lottery
>>25620975
Believe it or not, money adds up.
Throwing it away will make it add up to less than it would.
I'm trying to make this concept as simple as possible.
The mega millions and super lotto were just won, and after this draw is probably won by a few to several people, the jackpot resets. This is it guys, the moment I've been waiting for my whole life, to instantly break into supreme financial liberation and abundance beyond whats even imaginable.
Already got 8 tickets, but I think I'll get 2 more just in case.
i want to but i'm too scared to leave the house and be surrounded by normies buying tickets
they'll see me and laugh at me and i'll run out of the store crying before i even get a chance to buy my ticket
;_;
>>25620908
desu you can't really talk about saving money and mention buying fast food in the same post and maintain credibility
>>25615410
lottery should be called "idiot tax"
If you live on benefits, and you buy lottery tickets, the money just goes back too you
>>25621210
Don't they have vending machine sin supermarkets? Otherwise you literally don't have to say anything, just fill out a piece of paper to select how many lottery plays and draws you want, the clerk puts it into a machine, you give money he give you lottery ticket
>>25621187
read
>>25616160
>>25616814
You are right the money does "add up", but its still a good bet from a statistical point of view because the risk is basically non-existent. $1 is like 3 minutes of working at a job, if you dont get paid that much
>>25621234
HA GOOD ONE! HAVENT HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE!
>>25621205
going to buy some tickets using your numbers
hope you like to share :^)
I have a decent job already, it's realistic enough that I may be making 6 figures by the end of the year that it is a goal of mine.
That being said, there is a huge upside and minimal downside, I am spending about 20 bucks on this today.
>>25621210
wat lol?
dunno how it works in the US, but here in canada you just go to a gas station, say "give me a 6/49 with the extra" or "lotomax with the extra" or whatever the fuck you want, they print out a ticket for you, you pay them and then go on your way. You're never surrounded by anyone, and the socialization required is like next to none. You could select your numbers I guess with the little paper bubble sheets, but its mostly a waste of time and "lucky numbers" are stupid
>>25615474
someone won the big lottery in a place less then six minutes away from me. winning the lottery is closer then you think.
>>25615474
http://abcnews.go.com/International/canadian-mans-lottery-win-lightning-strike-26-trillion/story?id=32590554
This guy is lucky af
>>25621372
newfag spotted
>>25621210
Just go up to the cashier and say you want a "Lotto flat play with a 15% vig , no powerplay (it's a waste of money), and a spread bet for tonight" It's literally that easy. Just don't forget your license and passport.
