What course of action would be best /r9k/ in a situation where multiple men are about to jump you, no weapons either.
>>25594678
go for the nutsacks
>>25594678
Try to convince them you have a bomb.
Running away.
If not, then try and bust the biggest one's nose before the fighting starts, with any luck the blood will give them enough pause for you to do something.
There is no way you're going to be able to beat more than two people in a fight without a weapon
detonate
>Pull down pants and superman underwear, and begin to grin.
>"So you all are the HIV bug chasers, group? I got some bleeding mouth sores, so I can bite a couple of you big guys ;)"
>with you pants down to your ankles, start waddling towards the biggest male, arms outspread, with a steadily increasing erection
>>25594754
yeah id like to see that, probably still end up getting jumped desu
pick one out of the group to try and hurt before I go down
take off all your clothes and start jerking off
no man will fight another man that bold
I was taught this in self defence class.
Go for the nearest one. wrap my fucking hands around his skull, and squish my thumbs into his eyes and shake the fuck out of his head.
>>25594678
Run away. I'm probably faster than any of them, and since they have no weapon there's nothing they can do other than trying to catch me.
>>25595683
and what about the other 3 guys who start bashing ur skull in when you do that?
>>25595729
im assuming the rest will run away once i stick the mans eyeball in my mouth and eat it.
>>25595729
When you gently squeeze the shit out off somebodys skull, gouging the persons eyes out while repeatedly screaming "STOP THE VOICES" 10 cm away from his face, im positive that your attackers will run the fuck away
A good bonus would be biting the poor fellas nose off acter youve screamed about the voices three times
>>25595882
or it will backfire and they will send you to the hospital
>>25595760
>JLH is back
when did his happen?
Pull your pants down and start trying to rub your ass on people. No one wants another mans gross ass rubbing against them. they'll each back up as the ass comes towards them.
And when I say pull your pants down I mean all the way. not that half down just so your buttcrack is sticking out. I mean balls and junk to the wind pants around one ankle.
>>25596613
or you'll get jumped for being a faggot. faggots dont get shot but they dooo get jumped.
>>25596550
shh nigglet shhh
>>25594678
remember all the anime I watched,fight with the power deep inside me
>No weapons
Rookie mistake, never go unarmed.
Get robbed by six Arabs once, you won't let it happen again.
TELL THEM TO CHECK THEIR PRIVLIDGE
>>25594678
Get to a defensible position where they can only come at you one at a time, somewhere where their numbers work against them if they're all trying to attack you simultaneously.
A doorway or behind a wall, something like that.
>>25594678
Let out Pepe screech. If that doesn't work offer to suck them all off if they'll leave you alone.
>>25594878
underrated
robot must eat original comments and this was not one :^)
>>25594678
Run.
The reality of fighting multiple men is odds are high you lose. Even if you fit and know your shit. Its not like the movies, you get surrounded and bundled down and then they kick the shit out of you.
give them the succ
>Thumbs in eyes
>Kick to balls.
>Punch their adam's apples
>Kick shins too if really desperate.
>Curb stomp them when they are on the ground.
I got jumped a lot in high school for being white. These are your best options.
This
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79FT8bpL2pc
I'm on tren right now feel like I could probably take at least 2 if they were just average guys or desert dindus or something.
>>25594816
>>25594754
This.
Go nuclear.
Make it look like you're drunk or crzy if they have no way of discerning the truth, then spring off some coherent blows when theere gaurds are down.
>"p-poo poo p-pee pee"
>"da fuq u say mayne
>pull down pants
"POO POO PEE PEE"
>start pissing and shitting everywhere
>spin round and round in circles while pissing and shitting
>chase my prey, arms outstretched, poo poo in my hands and pee pee in the street
i will not die forgotten
>>25594678
Occasionally, I tell this story every once in a while on /r9k/.
>Sitting outside library with some friends
>This younger kid wouldn't leave us alone, eventually, I push him away and he falls down.
>"I'm gonna tell me cousin!", Yeah sure whatever, kid. Get the fuck out of here.
>All my friends leave, and I stay behind, reading a book. I forgot all about the kid.
>Suddenly get pushed over, I'm surrounded by four huge wigger guys. I was like fourteen, they were all in their twenties.
>"You fuckin' with my little cousin?"
>I stall for time, try to walk away and chicken out, but eventually they all pounce me at once.
>I go down easily and they are beating the shit out of me. Kicking and pounding on me, I literally felt like they were going to kill me. I started to feel my head bounce on the concrete and I knew I had to do something.
>Reach up in desperation at the biggest one's face. Quickly hook my thumb into his left eye, and jam it in as hard as I can. I can still remember how her jerked away so hard that it pulled me off the ground a little.
>He starts screaming and shrieking as I try my hardest to jam my thumb into his brain.
>The other boys pull me away in horror and they all just stare at him. My face is swollen but I stare hatefully at him and start cursing as I pursue them again, they push me away saying, "Go on, man!"
>I walk home with a swollen face, I cry a little, but I feel strangely proud of myself.
I got in fights all the time, in school. But that was probably the worst.
