ER doctor here to answer your questions
>>25542388
I've been waiting to shit out this dildo in my ass for 2 days now should I take laxatives or just wait longer? My ass just kinda swallowed it up
>>25542388
Are familiar with autism?
>>25542456
If you put your fingers in, can you feel it? It may be too deep. Rectal foreign bodies can cause obstruction and perforation which can be life threatening if not retrieved. I wouldn't take laxatives as they will only increase the risk of perforation.
>>25542388
How do I get a qt samra gf?
I am even willing to settle for a qt spicgirl at this point
>>25542478
I am quite familiar with autism.
>>25542388
a med student asking
wy is it so depressingly boring, all of it
anyone can do this shit man
>>25542499
Bet you are, autist.
>>25542388
can shingles or the herpes-simplex virus exist be present but very very mild, trying to find out if these lesions on my skin are just from poor hygiene, should mention i've had shinges like 4 year ago
>>25542388
What's the most effective way to kill another person?
What's the most effective and painless way to kill oneself?
>>25542388
I got a vaccination once and now I can't pee straight. Also, I like pepe and poo poo pee pee memes.
Am I autistic?
>>25542388
Is having a black mole like dot on the space between my balls and ashore common
>>25542684
Excuse me I meant asshole
>>25542506
Yea... It's a job.
>>25542529
HSV exacerbations can vary in severity, but are usually on the trunk, buttock, thighs, or face. I don't think i've seen one on the feet but that doesn't mean its impossible. Could just be poor hygiene.
>>25542684
I don't know how common it is but I don't think it is anything to care about.
>>25542535
Not sure about the first, probably carbon monoxide for the second.
>>25542553
Yep, just send in your disability forms and collect your autism bucks. Be sure to write all of that on there because the government keeps track of that stuff.
>>25542388
What is the worst thing you have seen in your ER?
>>25542388
are you a man or a woman
please provide a pic/proof
>>25542923
timestamp required
i forget to say
>>25542922
Saw a guy impaled through the neck with a pitchfork, and another who had the driveshaft of a car fall off of a transport truck, went through the windshield and through his abdomen. Final destination shit right there.
The worst stuff though is sick or dying kids though, had one kid with osteogenesis imperfecta who just "fell off a chair" and had a shattered skull and broke everything. Had such bad brain bleeding he didn't make it. Awful.
>>25542923
>>25542948
Not going to answer, sorry.
>>25542999
How about the silliest, most ludicrous thing you've seen?
Not really ER stuff, but my gf has a thing on her labia that is just like a blood blister, but permanent. If you stick a needle in it, it bleeds loads and flattens for a while (hours) then comes back. I dont think it has changed size or shape, and she only has one. I dont think its a mole or std. Could it be like some strange type of varicose vein? The fact that it fills back up and bleeds a lot (more than could actually be inside the 'bubble') makes me think its connected to a vein or something
>>25543026
fuck off then. whats the point of your stupid thread if you dont bother to reply
>>25543244
i feel bad to say but it sound like Vaginal CANCER
>>25543244
could be a hemangioma
>>25543268
You can fuck off, I don't want to take a picture of myself and post it on /r9k/.
>>25543172
saw a girl who shoved makeup sponges in her vagina so she could fuck while on her period. her boyfriend told her that they would dissolve and her body would absorb them. she did this for a year. had to pull out dozens of these sponges. how she wasn't dead from toxic shock i don't know.
>>25543444
not with your disgusting mug
it can be with your loosy roastie
>>25542388
I have a superficial clot (bump and rigid vein section) on my calf. I can heat, compress, and aspirin this till it goes away, right?
Both my legs and ass have been hurting for many months, but this is probably unrelated or I'd be dead by now yeah?
>>25543385
Doubt it, it would likely have grown or changed shape in the years that shes had it.
>>25543424
Can these just appear, or do you have to be born with them. She hasnt had it her whole life. An its darker than those seem to be from google images
I know this isn't necessarily your area of expertise but how could someone determine if they have depression and what are the positives and negatives of the various medications that treat depression?
What's the most effective way to an hero when you don't have a gun available? Pills are for pussies, but are there any that are really good at killing people?
Whats more unhealthy, Diet coke or Regular coke
100% not relevant to ER but an opinon from someone from a medical background is infinitely more believeable than some bloke writing shock stories
>>25542684
>>25542890
Yeah there's no way this can go wrong.
Have you or any of your collegues ever had to treat anyone that you don't like in your personal life? not someone who's just an asshole whilst they're receiving treatment- someone you know normally.
Also do you specialise in anything? Whats your favorite department to work in? most people seem to like amputating like, super infected testicles and that sorta deal
how do I get opiates without looking like a junkie?
why do my toenails smell like cheese?
>>25542388
what is wrong with my dick op
>>25542388
Serious question here, m8. For the last three weeks, I will wake out of bed, seriously cough, and then dry heave for a bit. I will be fine the rest of the day, unless I go outside. Its about 18 degrees where I live, and then I will dry heave again. The other day I actually threw up at a pizza buffet, but that may have been because I overate. Sometimes I have headaches when I get up in the morning as well. Any ideas?
>>25542499
can you describe what autism is?
do you know who invented the term and when?
Sometimes I have these random, horrible, stabbing pains in my chest. Shallow breaths make it more bearable. Deep breaths are impossible when it's happening. It's pretty rare, it happens once or twice a year, but it's been going on for many years now. Any idea what it could be?
>>25542388
Do you have to honor a DNR from someone with documented mental illness?
I recently fainted and had a seizure at the age of 26 after moving to a new job and stopping all exercise (boxed 3-4 times a week).
Are these related and am I going to die?
>>25542388
What was your GPA in undergrad?
>>25542388
>>25542499
I've had a cyst in my ballsack near the base of my penis for over a year now, i went to my GP last year for a little tickle but she told me it was nothing to fear and it should disappear
within 6 months at the latest. Well it fucking hasn't you lieing bitch! it also aches a little sometimes, and is very sensitive to touch. Is this the cancer that will finally end me?
OP HERE SORRY FOR BEING A FAG AND LEAVING FOR A WHILE
>>25543868
Idk mate sorry it's tough to diagnose shit over the internet
>>25544029
The most specific sign of depression is anhedonia- not enjoying anything that usually brought joy. Other signs such as low energy, poor sleep, sadness etc, but anhedonia is the best. Meds, not sure.
>>25544372
Idk mate, I drink regular coke though because fuck diet coke
>>25544443
I have had to treat people I know but no enemies. I specialize in Emergency Medicine. I work in the ER only.
>>25544536
Break a bone.
>>25544826
Ummm nothing?
>>25544903
Sounds like something might be wrong man, you should probably go see your GP or something. Your symptoms are vague but concerning.
>>25544951
Google precordial catch syndrome. Alternatively you could be having a heart attack. Not sure mate.
>>25545672
If it's signed then yes
>>25545862
Sure it was a seizure? How do you know? Have you ever had seizures?
>>25546565
3.6
>>25546629
Probably not cancer, but you can get it removed. You may need a dermatologist or urologist depending on how deep it goes.
>>25542388
What that thing called when you get those bumps on your ass that make it hurt to sit down?
>>25544826
WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHAHA
LOSE SOME WEIGHT GOOD GOD
>>25542388
Do you regret your career choice?
have you ever killed somebody?
>>25548019
Hemerroids.
>>25548019
follicle infection (furuncle) ? hemorrhoids?
>>25548019
In German they're called steissbeinfisteln
too lazy to Google translate it sorry
>>25542388
am i going to fuck myself up if i trip out on robitussin once a month
>>25542388
how is the salary and do you feel like it will go down?
ER security guard here.
>are you in favor of armed security at a hospital?
>do you feel safe at work in general?
what a neat coincidence, now I don't have to make a thread
I just shat a bunch of blood
this wasn't an anal fissure, I'm familiar with those and it wasn't that, this was a load of blood in my shit
I felt fine before but now I kind of feel like I'm dying
this is it lads
>>25548214
I am in favor of armed security at the hospital. I have had my life threatened many times. Drug addiction is real and there have been too many stories of addicts shooting up an ER because they didn't get their fix, or gang bangers busting in to shoot up a guy they didn't quite kill.
>>25548089
Sometimes I do. I think I would enjoy life more doing something creative, or owning my own business. Shit maybe I should have just majored in business, made money in the market, and had a small business for fun.
>>25548214
forgot, yeah I usually feel safe.
>>25548224
Probably an anal fissure bro, or a prolapsed hemorrhoid. Can you push it back in?
>>25548224
also WHY IS EVERYONES QUESTION ABOUT THEIR ASSHOLE
>>25548179
>everything in moderation
Most likely it will lead to fucking with more dangerous things, and it's probably not that good for you.
>>25548445
Thanks for the prompt answer. I an unarmed in my position but as far as most of the U.S. is concerned I live in bumfuck nowhere.
Would you say most of your coworkers tend to be left wing?
>>25542388
what's the survival rate for jumping out a 3rd story window head first with concrete below
>>25542388
How many times have you breached HIPPA?
Why are ER physicians clinical skills generally so poor?
Great at ordering every study under the sun though
What do you see more in a day, heart attacks or strokes?
