Who /feels shame and embarrassment/ after every time they socialize? Just can't stop analyzing the "mistakes" or stupid shit I've said, even years/months ago. It gets really crippling. Drunk memories are the worst.
Reminding myself that nobody really cares and that I don't really pay attention to others screwing up doesn't help. How do I cure this?
>>25462511
>Who /feels shame and embarrassment/ after every time they socialize?
Yup.
It's bad enough when the cringe is fresh, but involuntarily reliving it months/years after the fact is the absolute worst. For fuck's sake, I can remember trips I made to the grocery store in 2008.
>Reminding myself that nobody really cares and that I don't really pay attention to others screwing up doesn't help. How do I cure this?
I honestly don't think there's any other way.
At this point it's become constant emotional background noise for me. I just ride it out. No matter how much it sucks, it won't last forever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EVeeR41aGwI also drink. A lot.
>>25462511
Some people say it's a symptom of ADHD.
http://www.dodsonadhdcenter.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria/
I haven't had a conversation with someone in my own age group in 4 years
>>25462511
I know those feels man. I don't get to socialize much, but i spend hours cringing about past memories and thinking about what i should have said in conversations/debates/...
>tfw my lip start trembling every time someone gets physically close to me
>>25464072
OP here. No fucking way. I've had all the symptoms of ADHD since a child and as a kid my teachers always told my parents to take me to tests. I can't study without drinking coffee either, but stimulants are out of the question because of my weak heart and eye pressures. Are you saying that if I got medicated this shit would disappear?!
Just fuck my shit up. Is perfectionism also a symptom of ADHD by the way?
>>25464242
Dunno. Only way to know is to try, I guess. I'm finally going to see if I can get some meds.
I'm kind of scared, desu, because if the meds fix it then I'll have to face the fact that my life has been a preventable clusterfuck and I could have been much better off.
>>25464242
/ADHD/ here.
It kills your self esteem. Because you might often speak or act on impulse, it's far more likely that you'll say or do something stupid. Because of this, you might overthink your responses in order to not sperg out. As this process continues, you become so paranoid that you'll make a mistake that you develop a belief that you cannot afford to make a single mistake in order to be seen as 'normal'.
That's for me anyways. I've been a perfectionist my entire life, so much so that the teachers I've had have told me that they've never seen someone be so hard on themselves. My parents constantly tell me not to beat myself up so much. Because my ADHD makes everything feel out of focus, I naturally respond on impulse because I don't have the ability to focus enough to form a complete thought. It's a cycle.
>>25464242
>>25464325
I'm also considering getting tested. The big thing that always made me think I have some kind of disorder is that I constantly have the urge to tense my muscles, or lash out. Like, I can constantly feel the urge to do something like that coursing through my bones, and I have to move to get it to stop.
>>25464577
Why don't they just give us cocaine?
I'm starting trying to congratulate myself for what I did right, instead. The fact that I socialized at all makes me proud
>>25464664
They give us amphetamines instead. Watch out if you have a mood disorder though. I have bipolar and Adderall made me feel happy for five hours and then I got so depressed I had to go to the ER.
The problem is that not all stimulants are exactly the same. They either increase dopamine production, inhibit the reuptake of dopamine, or both. Getting the right medication is very much a trial and error process. I hope one day I'll get one that makes me feel normal. I want to feel alive again.
>>25464577
I think you described me to a T, it's kinda spooky actually. Whenever I try to explain these issues to someone it feels like they don't get it. It's hard to describe how acting purely on impulses feels so bad/wrong. Feels good to see people who have the same issues as me.
But I live in Finland so diagnosing this would take literally years. The whole process of getting diagnosed feels scary. At least coffee helps.
>>25464072
Just in case you faggots didn't read, the link does NOT refer to the problem OP has.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria means you're just overly sensitive when you're rejected.
It has nothing to do with dwelling too long on rejection, recalling mistakes in social interactions or reliving embarassing moments.
>>25465024
It took me quite a bit of therapy to come to this realization. Finding the right medication and learning to use my symptoms to my advantage (many CEOs found success because of their ADHD, Richard Branson is an example) would essentially create a domino effect and allow me to reverse so many negative beliefs and habits that my disorder has created.
I would feel alert and in the moment, and regain the wit and charisma I once had. I can focus on conversations and tasks, making me more comfortable and productive. I will no longer speak on impulse, but will be able to gather my thoughts and speak more eloquently. I feel like I have fallen behind my peers. I want to run a software company one day, but it's extremely difficult to focus enough to become a proficient programmer.
I consider myself to be a smart and very likeable individual. I have the potential to become Chad, but I feel I am being held back by my disorder.
I get angry with people who have no ambition or drive, because they take for granted their functioning brain. Once I am on the right meds, I will never be lazy again, because I know what it's like to not be able to live in the moment or be fully aware of myself.
It's very disheartening. I know there has to be something out there that can help me, and that's really the only thing that I can hang on to at this point.
The only way I get through this is by realizing nobody cares about me long enough to remember anything I did after a week. Normalfags have really terrible memories, so just wait a week and hope nobody brings anything up.
>>25462511
this happens to me literally all the time
i'll either have a ptsd flashback of some cringe worthy shit i did/said or if it was really recent i'll just randomly think in my head "fuck instead of saying x i should have said y, why the fuck couldn't i think this up earlier". i just get too much fucking anxiety in conversations to think straight so i always end up spaghetti'ing all over myself.
>>25462511
I used to be like you but learning not to care really is the only answer. Just distract your mind and think about something else as soon as you start thinking about it. The threads where some robots relive their worst moments over and over are the worst thing you can do. Normies do worse shit every day (unless you're a literal autist), we're just too critical of ourselves.
>>25465845
normies do worse shit every day? how?
they socially adept unlike us, how are they supposed to make mistakes?
>>25464758
That's the ticket.
>>25465866
I assumed OP is just overly critical of himself like I was since he said "mistakes". Unless you're really on the spectrum nothing you do can be that bad and people just tend to overthink it. I mean normies say all kinds of retarded shit all the time. The thing is that no one really cares.
>>25462511
I wish I knew man, it's all in your head.
I have a Chad brother who tells me really embarrassing & intimate things going on.
Obviously I would never call him out or shame him for what he is doing, rather I just hear him out and try and be supportive of his choices.
But for whatever reason I don't think the same support would be granted to me should I try and "live a little".
For me the hindrance is that I'm afraid of potential humiliation, even though I'm a pitiful excuse for a human being already.
anyone know if there's any non prescription antidepressants out there?
i have had extreme social anxiety and depression for a while now and im too scared to even get diagnosed for prescription medicine. i don't care if the drugs permanently fuck up my mind anymore, my shit is already so bad i'm forced to hide away in my parents basement being a loser neet playing vidya every day.
>>25462511
I don't have much to add but you're not alone, anon. This is exactly me, after every single interaction.
>>25465845
Normies do a lot of stupid shit, but always in a "socially acceptable" way so nobody seems to notice how dumb these peole are
>>25466186
Just go for Xanax. Legal shit wont do much to you
>>25464242
OP, I had all the signs of ADD/ADHD as a kid. However, didn't know because was family was too poor do get medications. Now as an Adult (mid 20s) I've learned to just mange it and turn to my advantage.
I suggest Adderall, try out a pill. The effect on you will be calming, you won't be "wired".
Life will be understanding and social situations will be easier to do. You will be content with life, and know that you are a success. Talking to people will seem straight forward and not awkward. you'll understand why they act rather than questioning yourself every god damn time. I know how it feels bro, and it's fucking horrible.
However, if my bros who had ADD/ADHD as a kid to and adult could chime in here for my please:
I personally hate taking Adderall or any medication to get my situation back to normal. When I take Adderall, I feel content, and satisfied with life. I don't want to advanced and become more and worse, I lose ALL of my imagination and creativity. My imagination helps me create things. I love to invent, program, solder, engineer things that people find interesting and makes me feel of value/worth.
I tried Adderall a few times, and while it was an interesting experience (no super concentration, just felt "normal".) I won't touch it anymore. But it's a devil twist because interacting with a person on it just seems so fucking normal and easy, people enjoy my company instead of looking down on me.
I won't lie bros, I'm lost.
Pic related
>>25465766
I have the same thing. But I also start punching or telling myself "you're retarded", even though english is not my first language.
>>25466370 I'm >>25464577
Adderall made me feel happy, but I still wasn't able to focus. My symptoms remained. I want that awareness, feeling like I'm actually in the moment, because right now everything is out of focus and I can't commit things to memory so well. Any other meds you've tried that helped you?
>>25462511
Same here and if it's a bad flashback I even make these fucking stupid sounds when it happens. Like groans and squeals.
>And it's just so, it makes me, it's so awful I have to like shout the memory out of my head. I'll just be driving down the street and i'll just be like, 'AHHHH.'
-Anybody else like that? Ya ever have to like, shout stuff out of your head? Like there's something about me, like all of my regret comes up when i'm in the shower. I don't know what it is. I guess it's 'cause i'm in the shower and I have time to think, And I'll just think of shit I did in the third grade where I just made an ass of myself. I'll just be in the shower and be like. 'AHHH'
-And my wife's just always like 'Is everything okay in there?'
-And i'll just be like, 'Yeah, uhhh, I just accidentally turned on the hot water. Turned it on too much.'
'-Everyday??'
>tfw Bill Burr knows the score.
>>25462511
Shit op I really though I was the only one
>>25466478
To be honest I'm extremely hesitant to try any thing like Addeall because I can't go back to that state of being, of just being content. It scares me that I can see why normal people can go through life just living with nothing interesting and never improving. I love science and improving the things around us. I just don't want to lose that drive.
>>25466372
when it first started i used to grab the nearest object and fling it as hard as i could or yank my hair, but its happened to me so many times now that i can catch myself so i can avoid having someone catching me in the middle of my sperg out.
>>25464577
I'd have ADHD in a heartbeat if it mean't not having aspergers, atleast ADHD people think like a human being
>>25462511
I know that feel. It's seems so tiny but you dwell on it, over analyzing the same moment over and over again cringing and hating yourself a little more each time. I basically turn into a social autist anytime I have to talk to somebody I don't know, so I experience this very often
>>25466686
Not really. Your focus lasts for about half a second and you're extremely forgetful. It doesn't sound so bad when you describe it, but it's like living in a constant daydream that you just can't snap out of.
>>25466686
>Every memory I have is cringey
>>25466755
I guess aspergers is almost reversed ADHD in that sense, they get focused thoroughly on one thing so much that you can't focus on other things and you also have an enhanced memory I always remember shit no one else does and they say I'm making it up.
>>25466755
Do you sometimes get the motivation as if powered by a thousand suns. Hell, you are so motivated that you'll stay in one spot doing one and have to force yourself to get things like shower, food, and water?
>>25466820
ADHD is strange. Sometimes you can hyperfocus on one thing, but it has to be extremely stimulating in order to do so. Video games used to be my self medication because I felt normal on a mental level while playing them.
>>25466872
Not sure I understand the question. Things are not stimulating enough to hold my interest, even things that I enjoy doing. Lifting and running are really my only hobbies right now because they don't require much mental energy that is needed to focus.
anybody else /avoidantpersonalitydisorder/ here?
>>25462511
oh god why did you remind me?
even if it's something minor like leaning in a little too close in a photo, I obsess over it.
>>25466931
No problem. >>25466885 answered my question.
>>25466599
I used to straight up tear clumps of hair out of my scalp, it got to the point where my family was starting to notice the wads of hair in the trash. I tried flushing the hair but it just ended up causing a clog.
I switched over to blunt force trauma, like punching my arm, and it works better. Just do it somewhere the bruise won't be visible, and quietly so nobody notices.
>>25462511
me
i just wanna die after i socialize tbqh pals
>>25466872
ADHD here. I do, I get it when I go to the gym, it feels like an overwhelming sense of inspiration, I also get it from music and some movies.
