ok so I've decided to fall onto the new year bandwagon and change myself, I'm going to do this by making an Okcupid again and try this time.
Does anyone have tips/experience to share? Like what to say in my profile, how many pictures to post, and what to say for my messages?
I'm not terribly attractive, probably average/above average at best - I have a symmetrical/proportioned face, am sorta thin, and 6'1" but I don't necessarily like to take care of myself so my face is always scruffy and my hair is greasy since I only shower if I have class that day and I don't work.
Is attractiveness the only deciding factor in responses? So would it even matter what I say in my profile? Like, could I get away with writing bullshit like "I'm really good at... I'm really good at finding how many licks it gets to the center of a tootsie pop"
?
Thanks!
Attractiveness is the deciding factor. If you're ugly it doesn't matter what you say. Even if you're average it hardly matters. And if you're attractive you just need to sound normal and not talk about rape and sexual assault and what have you.
I'm not even bitter. I'm above average and I get women messaging me, and I regularly ignore messages from women who I don't find attractive soliciting me. I'm just telling it like it is.
>>25438665
Based on the info given, okcupid might work for you. It kinda worked for me, I got 3 dates but I'm still a kissless handholdless virgin.
Attractiveness is pretty much the only factor at play. Even if you send decent messages that aren't "Let's fuck" "Show me your tits" you are likely to get 1-2 replies for every 5 messages sent.
I'm no expert, but make sure you set your orientation to "gay" or "bisexual" if you want your boypussy to be filled with cum.
I have two tips for you
1. Be attractive
2. Don't be unattractive
>>25438759
>>25438717
So as long as I look presentable in my photos, and don't say something like "hey there, wanna play a rape fantasy? dont worry...its just a game hehehe" I'll be somewhat fine?
>>25439022
Is that my butt, or pee hole? either way, no thanks.
>>25439085
Should I master taking misleading "selfies" to look more appealing?
>>25439314
Yeah pretty much. I could have actually gotten this one girl on there to be my gf but I Asperger'd my way out of it.
>>25439314
Look, the best advice I could ever give you besides being attractive is to treat women like you don't just want to have sex with them. You're constantly hearing about how women will respond positively to anything Chad tells them, even if it's just "hey let's fuck." But consider that the girl you're looking at probably gets a hundred messages a day asking for tits. Be different. Stand out. Ask her to go to lunch with you or something.
Disregard all of this if you aren't attractive though.
>>25439335
>but I Asperger'd my way out of it.
this is probably my biggest concern. when I had an account a few years ago I got to 3-4 messages between two different girls. Each one I said something stupid where they'd stop responding.
I even asked for one of their numbers, to which she said "i don't have a phone" then she blocked me...
The other one I asked about her school and that was the only thing I talked about...She also blocked me or deleted her profile.
I'm pondering rn whether i should put my shirtless muscle pic back in or not
On the one hand it looks good, on the other it's almost a decade old now and seems to be a red flag for many of those cunts
>>25438665
If a person (man or woman) doesn't respond to your first message, leave.them.the.fuck.alone. You've been rejected. They are not interested in your pathetic, ugly ass. You are only furthering your humiliation if you send some kind of fucking retarded follow-up like "guess you're not interested kek."
NO THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED. MOVE ON.
>>25439857
THIS. it's fucking desperate to whine for a reply, even if its a bad one.
>>25439857
Relevant, so fucking relevant.
>>25439553
To further this point, ALSO don't act like you aren't interested in sex. You are and they are. You're both human beings and you are on a dating website. Autists go wrong because they are TOO afraid of initiating flirtation. So the girl decides that he isn't decisive and confident. Know when to flirt but know that your every message to her shouldn't be a flirt. It's trial and error really and every girl is different, but no girl likes a sex pervert and no girl likes a fearful autist.
1. Be attractive
2. Know when to flirt
I got a few dates there over the summer but most of the women there expect you to have a personality and a future with dreams and shit. Also most of them are fucking boring and they all have "introverted watching netflix XD" and "marvel nerd!" on their profile. Beware
if you get into a few back and forth messages dont just randomly drop "lol, man, it looks like you have great tits" just don't bring up anything about their body. at all. Say "wow you look pretty" if you need too but commenting on the body or specific things about the body should be left till youre more intimate.
do NOT give them nicknames sweet baby jesus. I had some guy calling me mamabear after a few messages and I was so fucking uncomfortable. don't do shit like " *blush*" yes this happens. DON'T ask them if they like you, or you've ruined any future of actually having them liking you by acting like a spergelord. stow your insecurities. Make sure the conversation isnt one sided, if you ask a question answer it about yourself, and vice versa, if they ask a question ask them for their answer.
Don't do anything pic related
>>25439794
If it's a mirror selfie, don't. It just looks vapid.
Best to do it outside, like at the beach.
>>25440136
Basically, don't be autismal as fuck.
>>25440136
that rant over skyrim...jeez... at least she still messaged him after the fact, so might've been able to overlook it...but...damn. those mobile screenshots holy shit.
>>25439947
>>25440103
how do I flirt? That probably sounds stupid, but its the main reason I'm trying online instead of meeting someone in real life. Like is it playfully picking on them? Even that I dont know how to do and am worried I might end up like the guy from that skyrim picture.
also...mamabear? eek.
would complimenting a necklace or something she's wearing in a pic be good, or is it too close to "nice tits"? since i'd have to be looking in the vicinity of her boobs to notice the necklace in the first place
>>25440698
to flirt? that's simplejust be yourself
the only time i ever commented on a photo was when her profile featured not much more than that photo, and in thi scase i thoroughly analysed that photo and sent her that analysis, a nice chat ensued but nothing more.
comment on her profile, refere to stuff she says in her profile, be it movies, music, hobbys or whatever, if her profile doenst give you an idea for a comment, its probably not worth to bother. a little teasing could be apropriate, like i once commented on her music list because it didn't feature any classic soul, or i once picked up her ideas about the big lebowsky.
you don't need to look like a model, only like a nice guy that takes care of himself, also pics should be interesting, so no selfie in front of the pc or something. i took all my profile pics on one sunny day at several locations and with several outfits.
what worked best for me was to initiate a meeting quickly, like reccomend a movie that is similar to th eones in her list and suggest you two go see it at a ceater.
my success with okcupid was limited though, three dates with three differnet women, i dated a few times with two of them but to no success, also a few very nice chats with other girls.
>>25440698
Playfully picking on them is a HUGE no because you're not close enough to them to know what is ok and what isnt. You also cant convey a tone of voice which is very, very important to teasing.
Flirting isnt about cheesy pick up lines or coming on to strong, it's about showing your interest. You act engaged, interested and stay close. You smile, you nod, you ask questions, you build up a back and forth but ARENT scared of a lull in the conversation, these are needed. Smiling, laughing and keeping your eyes focused on them (DONT HOLD EYE CONTACT FOR TOO LONG!!!! only long enough for them to register that you're paying attention and are interested. just keep your eyes on their face) is the easiest way too flirt, even an autist can do this easy enough with enough practice. As long as you recognise the right social cues you know when to laugh and smile, like after a funny bit in a story or right before the epitome of a funny situation is revealed but you've gathered enough information about the story to know what is about to happen.
You just need to be ENGAGING, as long as ONE of you has stories you can keep it going. (I spent most of my life indoors with no friends so I dont have any funny stories, but I can keep a person talking)
complimenting a necklace is good, especially if it has a stone in it (You can ask what type, when she returns telling you what kind of gemstone it is you can ask her what attracted her to it, shape, colour, opacity, meaning etc which opens up a lot more avenues for conversation)
Only a huuuuge bitch would be like "omg youre looking at my tits!!!"
if its a drop necklace that sits in between her tits then no dont bring it up because then yeah you're obviously talking about her tits.
i probably wouldnt comment on clothing unless its a fan item or something very distinctly tied to an interest.
>>25438665
>decide to register for okcupid a few months ago
>muster up the courage to upload some shitty pic
>log on every once in a while but there's not a lot of people around me
>check my email one day
>see that someone messaged me
>meh probably some spam from the admins or someone
>it's not
>get excited
>it's some 200lbs landwhale
>mfw
I'm also registered on PoF which is good because you can browse profiles anonymously. I get emails emails now and then that someone wants to meet me but it doesn't say who unless i pay and they never fucking message me.
>>25440136
Good fucking lord. He could have fixed it afterwards but he continued to be an autist
>>25439857
Actually not true all the time
I cant keep up with a lot of messages so sometimes I ignore a person on accident
But after they message for the second time i get to it
>>25442557
When someone wants to meet you, pof sends you an email with their username in.
>>25441865
So for online flirting I just act pretty interested in her/everything she's saying? Since I can't smile or anything through a computer screen?
>i probably wouldnt comment on clothing unless its a fan item or something very distinctly tied to an interest.
So if she has like a patch on her jacket of a band's logo, I should say something like "Oh, so and so band is pretty cool, what's your favourite song/album?"
>>25439857
Not always. It happened with me once that a girl I messaged answered only a couple of weeks later. To bad I wasn't interested anymore.
>>25439857
Generally good advice, but not always.
See pic!
She responded after the second one and we chatted for a few days. We were getting to the point where we were discussing meeting up and then she vanished. My theory is that it was a fishcat. My soulmate is out there, and it's a 40-year-old dude.
I just started my own OCK account too. I sent a lot of messages out, but I haven't gotten any responses. I assumed that I was just an average looking guy, but maybe I'm uglier than I think? My profile picture is just a decent picture of me in a collared shirt with no lighting tricks.
I'll admit, I only messaged girls that I thought were semi-cute... but I skipped any super-attractive girls. Also, many of the girls I messaged had huge, glaring problems, like they were overweight or had "I'm clinically depressed" right in their fucking bio. I even messaged some single moms to see what would happen, but not a single soul has replied yet. Basically, I'd rate myself a 5/10 so I tried to message other girls that I thought were 5/10 or 6/10.
Anyone tell me what i'm doing wrong?
I know reddit gets a lot of shit, but /r/OkCupid is genuinely solid, with a great wiki and you can submit your profile for critique.
At the very least, it will help make you not so fucking generic.
>>25438665
Read Aziz Ansari's Modern Romance.
Some tips to get you started: be looking away and not smiling in your profile picture. These get the most responses from women for some reason.
Don't be too general as far as what you're looking for, it will seem desperate. Try to use witty personalized greetings when messaging people. Most girls get about 5-10 messages a day so you have to stand out somehow.
Also try to get the meetup to happen as soon as you can, don't spend a lot of time frivolously messaging them.
>>25443822
What do you go with for an intro? "Hey! What's up?" isn't going to cut it. Girls see this message almost exclusively.
>>25443569
>My theory is that it was a fishcat
Is there a way to tell if a profile is fake?
I mean, it's not like I'll be wiring money or anything, it would just really suck to set up a meeting and have nothing happen or to give my phone number to a creep who's gonna call me at 2am asking for ranch.
>>25443822
What'd you say in the messages? Maybe they haven't been online the past day or so?
>>25443866
Thanks, I'll check it out. Reddit gets a lot of flak but honestly I think it's just overall that its shit. The same could be said about 4chan, but some of the boards are good so I guess it goes either way?
>>25443974
I say Hey, followed by something I read on their bio. I always end on a question or pose a question so that it's easy to respond, it requires no effort on their part.
>>25443822
You look miserable in that picture. Basically, you need to do the following in your pictures if you want to get any replies at all:
- Smile a lot (a genuine smile, not some half-assed thing)
- Have pictures of yourself with friends. Smiling helps here, too
- Have pictures of yourself doing something interesting like travelling, skydiving, sports, etc.
These things basically demonstrate that you're confident, interesting, and that other people like you and want you around. Those are the most important traits that women are attracted to in men.
>>25444007
Hm, sometimes people don't want to go through the effort of responding to a question. In general, you want to hit them something that they are going to want to respond to. Like a joke or something. Questions can seem kitschy. App dating blows.
>>25439996
>most of the women there expect you to have a personality and a future
How dare they.
>>25443822
QT ALERT!
T
A
L
E
R
T
!
>>25444020
a pic with a dog is also a great trick
>>25444020
OK, thanks. I go to nursing school so I have tons of pictures laying around of me with groups of women on my arms, but I didn't want to use them because I thought I would seem like a fucking douche. I guess if that's what women want then I'll give it to them
>>25443991
Reverse image search helps.
Otherwise.. idunno. Really short, generic profiles? Bare minimum effort in filling out the profile.
![1439702751330[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/QkYgiRZ.gif "1439702751330[1].gif")
Don't try on OKCupid. You'll just make yourself feel bad.
What you do on OKC is make a half decent, but brief profile. Basically, search about 50 hot girls on there, and copy their generic interests. Usually some shit about how you love to travel, vacation, like the beach, and then usually something nerdy like your guilty pleasure is some nerd tv show.
Now you never message a girl. It's a waste of time. You have to read their profiles and all that shit, crafting some fucking message that doesn't make you sound needy or sound like an autist LOOKING for shit on her page to bring up to her. Why? Because it's been done before. Any decent looking woman gets a thousand messages and there's probably 10% of them actually reading profiles and building these ice breaker questions from the profile. She likes Star Trek? Some nerd asked her who the best captain is or something retarded.
No, the goal on OKC is exposure--NOT direct messages. You search up every girl who's logged in the past month, in your age range... and just go down the list MIDDLE MOUSE CLICKING every picture you find attractive in that list. In the end, you'll probably have 100+ tabs going. When your browser starts slowing down, make sure the pages have loaded. Then just mass close your browser tabs and start again if you missed some. The point is that you're going to show up as a visitor, and if the girl finds you attractive, she'll visit back.
The second and final thing you need to do for OKCupid exposure is to answer one question a day or edit your profile. The feed will update for women near you that you've changed something. You don't have to change a lot, just reword some stuff if you want. Answer questions you think women would LIKE to see, skip the others. Add an explanation to the question and make it funny.
>>25444726
Forgot to add, in the end you're going to get return visits from girls who are interested or at least want to check you out.
This is your dating pool. If it's not big enough, visit more girls. Visit them twice, 3 times. who gives a fuck?
If they select that they like you, you can send a message first if you want. Doesn't seem that desperate at that point.
Keep answering 1 question a day during peak hours or changing a section of your profile to appear on their feeds.
>>25444852
>>25444726
OK so as long as Im sorta whimsical/lighthearted about it I'll be better off?
>>25444535
I'll keep that in mind, thanks. Will she get notified if I save an image for reverse searching? I don't wanna be creepy in case she is legit
>>25444020
What's a good way to get a picture of me "doing something interesting" if I don't do anything interesting? What's a quick example of some shit that I can do for 5 minutes just for the picture?
>>25445705
Get one of those selfie remotes, go hike somewhere, do a stupid pose for the camera and click the button until you get a decent picture. Girls love that shit even if they never want to hike.
>>25445844
>>25445705
Would this work with a game like frolf? It's the closest thing I do to being normie and its the only thing I do outside besides buying cigarettes or school
my cousin's daughter met her husband on okcupid. they got married a few months ago.
he is a nice guy, but he's also a nerd, according to my cousin. he might even be one of us.
if it happened to him, then who knows.....
>>25445999
Frisbee golf isn't a social sport so there's no benefit to putting that on a dating profile. You'll like like a retard. Might as well join a quiddich team and run around with a stick between your legs.
What you want is a cool picture of you throwing a frisbee to a friend in the park wearing sunglasses and some nice clothing. But it doesn't matter this would imply you had a friend to frisbee with, and an extra person to take the pictures of you doing it.
>>25446133
Ummm what about guitar? I was in a band but got kicked out since I'd drink and take Xanax before shows because I'd get anxiety. Would me sitting ontop of my amp be good?
Would it look autistic if I dressed like from the 60s? My guitar/amp are both old from that time.
>>25446280
You playing guitar alone looks bad. You practicing at a band practice would be alright, but a little try hard. You looking good and playing a show for an audience looks great.
But guitar players are out of style right now. They dropped around 2000. Even DJ's are out of style. You'd look like a fag if you posted those pics after 2010.
Better than frisbee golf though, just not outside--which is an essential picture to have on a dating profile.
>>25445574
I highly doubt they notify anyone. You don't need to download it anyway. You can just use the url.
