Hey guys can you give me a little fedeback on my poetry?
looks in the darkness
a poem by Louis DiMauro
Ask my self who am I,
I cant seem to find myself,
Get older, try, and try,
Over and over
Change who I am.
Now look at a myself and ask,
Really who do I want to be?....
Having no clues on the bord
Don't have excuses
Don't want any
Why do I ask
Who I am?
Well because the world is beautiful
Many cry like to thrive
Fairytale and rhymes
Questions and lies
Say that we live in
Worlds without times
Dark clouds, greed, war for minds that die, Issues of interest but my limit is denied
Restricted is the why or who am i
Questions repeated
Puzzled and treated
Ask myself who am i?
Learned and deleted,
Judged and have seen it,
Poisoned by the treason
We fell in to the mine
Money, shows, and crimes
The Hippocratic minds of his and i's
Is the fucked rhymes inspired hells owned by undead wines,
We climb up the rock like a bird who cant fly
All not knowing that we birds are mindless Chicken being fatted and for others delight
Waves transform clinching,
Jaws bloodshed bolts pricing ur misleading hid,
Dogs who claws at ur soul,
Dark and evil,
Clouds tears and fear's of losing to decides
Do we feel more swords clenching in our
lifes,
Feel the blood boil,
Water vs dark signs
Slowly easing at ur soul
Or did u see the night rising high,
Devil, red eyes, ur blinded by the why,
Why, why, why,... Is thire two sides?
Now u blindly,
Lost all of ur life,
Just one dark devil inside
Who am a I?
A storm in the night, rain fire to pass
Seen beauty from ur past
Two story's but one path
One steps fall down and one step is unknowns But hidden inside is the story we write,
Seeing the light is usually bright,
Because to reach to the sun we need to be blind.
Look at myself.........who am I?
Its my new poem. I am Louis DiMauro.
Pic related, I'm on the left.
poetry is for fags and pseudo intellectuals
>>25437024
>expressing yourself though writing is for faggots
Look at this heathen
Here, I ran it through Google Translate a bunch of times and I think its better now
Look in the dark
Poem by Louis DiMauro
I ask myself who I am,
I can not seem to find themselves
Age, try, try,
again and again
Change who I am.
Now look at yourself and ask,
Who am I really want? ....
8, there is no key-board
Do not make excuses
He does not want any
I ask
Who I am?
So, because the world is beautiful
Many shout to prosper
Fairy Tales and Nursery Rhymes
Questions & Lies
The fact that we live in
There is no time World
Clouds, greed, mind war dead, points of interest, but my limit is rejected
Limited reason is who I am
Re-issue
Confused and Treatment
Ask yourself, who am I?
He said, and removed
Trial mentioned,
Poisoned rebel
We fell into the shaft
Money, productivity, and crime
He and my mind Hippocrates
Sex rhymes inspired wine is immortal hell
We went to a bird that can not fly rock
We do not know all the birds blind chickens and other non-fat joy
Wavelet transform riveting,
Jaws blood screw ur misleading pricing HID,
Paws dogs that ur soul,
Darkness and evil,
Cloud tears and the fear of losing a decision
We feel that the sword firmly in our
Permanent life
Feeling excited
C. dark water marks
Slowly relieve the soul of the Uruguay Round
Or is it because you can see at night rising high,
Devil, red eyes, blinded by ur mind,
Why, why, why ... this side dioxide?
AT now blind,
You forgot your lifetime ur,
Only the devil in the dark
Who I am?
Stormy night, the rain of fire transfer
From the past to see the beauty of the Uruguay Round
Two stories, but one way
One Step to step decline is not known, but it hides a story that we wrote,
Seeing the light often bright,
Because they want to achieve in the sun, we should be blind.
He looked at it ......... Who am I?
>>25436991
Are those faggots? Christ, why did we make this legal? That picture is cringeworthy
Honestly op it's not very good. It reads more like a pretentious journal entry from some edgy teen than a poem.
I know this is bait, but jesus that shit is awful.
>>25437024
nah m8 poetry can be really neat. Poetry is only cool though when you actually follow some sort of rhythm and rhyme scheme, because working under those kinds of constraints is when real creativity comes in. Not some fucking word babble about muh darkness like in the op.
/louis.dimauro.1?fref=ts
This is the guy's facebook. You can ask him about it, if you want.
