Tell me you story guys? Tell me why you here, and perhaps more importantly, why do you need to be here? I'll start.
>clinically depressed
>finds it difficult coping with people, so becomes a meme within his community, tries to play up his spaghetti moments so normies not only expect it, but find it funny
>initially browses /R9k/ for the edge, bit choses just to lurk
>finds out dad is addicted to crack cocain and 2 close family members die, depression worsens.
>gets rejected by one-time
>intotheabyss.jpg
>move schools and befriend this one dude, true autistic bro.
>like I'm not going to lie, I'm probably only a cyborg, but this dude is full on robot.
>he's actually Elliot Rogers tier.
>in our depression with both experiment with drugs, this benefits my social life but breaks our minds further.
>one day I learn, he's going to kill himself and it breaks me. Constant panic attacks.
>I love him, not at a physical level because that's gay; I feel he's my soulmate.
So I'm here because of habit, this place feels like a home I don't quite belong to, but I neesbto be here because I'm a kv who's spiritual partner won't be around for more than 6 months and I don't know who else to turn to.
Sorry for the bad greentext, I usually just lurk.
Pic related btw, the biggest normie meme.shameless self bump because I wanna share pasts and feels
> 21 year old misanthrope
> was a nice person who tried to help people and do the right thing up until twelfth grade
> five years spent watching girls act like sumissive retards and flock to the loud retarded boys
> nobody pays attention to me unless they're trying to get something out of me or make fun of me
> still clinging to kindness
> one day hanging out with friends
> one friends cat died, she's mopey about it
> one sperglord goes off on her for literally no reason
> "it's a fucking cat you retard, get over it"
> the cat died the day before
> confront him
> he shouts about how it's "fucking stupid" to get emotional about things
> no reasoning with this moron
> next day
> talk to friends about not hanging out with this guy anymore
> inb4 whiteknight I didn't want to hang out with an autistic psychopath; it could have been anyone he sperged out at
> they all take his side
> something about him being funny
> ask her what she really thinks of this guy
> "he's awesome. He's a douche -- he's a gym douche, but he's awesome"
> lose all faith in women
> give in to hate
> put all my chips on the "it gets better after high school" meme
> everyone after high school is just as retarded, but they think they're smarter
> give up on the friends meme
There's a shitload of backstory. If you'd like I can talk about how I became a sexual deviant.
>>25430290
I relate to this on a personal level
>>25430625
> archer
Get the fuck out of here normalfag.
>>25430538
Yes how did you become a sexual deviant. You ever raped women ?
>Born in a eastern european shithole
>Horrible neighborhood, poor as fuck parents, constantly fucking eviction and debt collectors
>Very few friends, became close with like 4 people in my entire life
>As a kid I saw one drunken hobo beat another one to death
>Saw a guy bleed to death when I was a pre-teen
>Had a gun pulled on me and robbed
>mugged almost constantly
>One of my close friends hangs himself when I'm 15
>Such is life.jpg
>started crushing on a qt girl, she was pretty plain but I really liked her
>Rejects me after months of being "friend-zoned" openly tells me I'm not attractive
>Start lifting on and off
>Constantly getting into fights at school, getting into trouble for disrupting class etc.
>At 16 we all get into drugs. We smoke a lot of weed, sell weed, sell pills and stealing stuff
>This is the point where I see a lot of disturbing shit - heroin addicts, pill addicts etc. Saw the dead body of a guy who overdosed
>At 18 another one of my close friends dies
>Emigrate to the UK to get away from my shit life, have to abandon all of my friends
>Work hard as fuck, 12 hour shifts in horrible conditions every single day for 2 years
>Close friend gets stabbed to death in Lithuania in those two years
>Decide to go to uni
>second year of uni atm
>Depressed as fuck, no friends, kissless virgin at 22
>>25430704
Never raped anyone, no. I figure rape is just kind of pathetic (literally the only way I could get sex is by force) so I think I'd kill myself before accepting that level of worthlessness.
Anyway
> five years old
> run across road without looking both ways
> get a spanking for it
> first time I ever felt sexual arousal
> some time later
> discover magazine with pictures of Jessica alba in a bikini
> would sit and stare at them for hours on end
> also found some OWL magazine comics, the Alex and Charlie ones
> one comic where Alex is getting the shit kicked out of him and Charlie is having an awesome time
> very aroused
> this goes on another five years until
> nine or ten
> first time seeing hardcore porn
> grossed out, stick to soft core
> around this time, become sexually attracted to my cousin
> ogle her constantly
> I was raised catholic so that why I didn't masturbate until
> 14
> Halloween
> jack off to orgasm for first time
> 15
> start getting into hardcore shut, starting to do 2d
> get really into hentai
> go down that rabbit hole
> come out the other end unattracted to 3dpd
> 17
> attracted to real women again
> have a bunch of fetishes, gfd, face sitting, light bondage, domination, degradation/humiliation (giving and receiving)
> that never goes away
> still a kv
> only gets worse
Basically, nobody ever talked to me about sex and I was left to figure it out on my own. Sex was mixed with hatred for me because I was brainwashed into seeing it as a disgusting act only to be done in marriage, which conflicted with how good the idea of it felt.
I never once had a positive experience relate to sex, the women I grew up around only served to fuck my life up in non-sexual ways (I wouldn't be a robot if not for them) and just dealing with regular women drove me to hate them.
Not sure why I get off on being humiliated.
>parents are alchys
>grew up in shitty council estate
>can't leave the house without having to fight chavs
>can't stay home because raging drunk parents
>end up friendless NEET
>constantly depressed
>attempted suicide once but botched it
>don't see any point in life because I will never have the comfy life I desire
I wish I was never born desu some people should just not have kids
>>25430290
>pretty much exactly you
>minus the diagnonesense
Im a depressed kv that doesnt want to commit suicide due to half decent genetics
>>25430290
>be 7, older cousin dies of some genetic disease
>start having similar symptoms
>parents go apeshit, they go into hyper protective mode, controlling every aspect of my life
>Im never allowed to do anything by myself or leave the house for anything but school
>fast forward to first year of college, after years of doctors and hospitals, they tell me im probably fine, still have to do a routine checkup every year
>spent all my teen years in front of a computer and have no idea how to socialize
>now im 25 and i have no idea what to do with my "freedom" so i just do what i always did. browse the web, my true home.
>>25430290
>had no friends since high school
>everyone that age was ultra-happy and ignorant on basic things
>didn't think I was smarter than everyone else
>I know I'm not a genius or anything but the average person doesn't seem to think much
>this depresses me, feel even more alone
>end up spending years inside and no longer feel lonely
>now only get lonely when I see other people socializing and know even though I'm capable of that: I don't relate to normal people on a fundamental level
>decide to spend years inside learning programming instead
>don't manage to get any jobs because of poor social skills but stay inside anyway
>anxiety gets worse, panic attacks now, agoraphobia
>im no longer comfy anywhere but inside
>can't go to university (or w/e you Americans call it: college maybe so stay inside as a neet)
>also can't get a job so I go on an autism pension and stay inside coding
>eventually learn about bitcoin and become one of its earliest users
>develop a lot of core technology that influences the security of Bitcoin
>one day decide to apply for a remote job in silicon valley
>the next day im making more money than my parents
>still can't leave my apartment, wonder what the fuck just happened
So yes, I ended up becoming quite an important pioneer in Bitcoin's history from being a friendless loser and now banks offer me jobs even though I dropped out of high school. The only problem is: I can't take any of these jobs because I don't want to relocate to some city when I can't even leave my house so instead I just pretend that I'm a normal person whose life commitments only enable remote / contract work which works for me.
By the way, there aren't many successful shut-ins so its not like I can relate to even other hikikomoris. The average shut-in would think my advice was impossible. So tl; dr, I have no peers at all.
>>25430290
>Be son of illegals live like a super poor fag in la but not parents move to rockies in 3rd grade full of white people that treat me like a dumb spic too poor to afford internet back then spend lots of time in library to use internet and would read a lot watch lots of tv by myslef not really talk to many people like being healthy by running and using jungle gyms alone at night grow up have a small circle of mexican friends never had any sexual interests with any of the girls in town thought i was asexual girls just thought i was weird really bored with living in colorado and ask my parents to send me to Mexico for 2 years they do i actually start openin up more there and have more friends and even dated but get dumped or rejcted a lot since i am pretty spergy and awkward and too nice also go on long walks alone at night or really early in the morning go back to the states and decide to enlist with one of my buddies in the service my last year in highschool i just focus on school work and gym never really had a real gf till i was 19 she dumped me later on felt bad man broke me up on the inside since it was the only real girl to show me affection proceed to go full degenarate asshole mode and just fuck sluts and date and cheat on plain Janes to fill the void
Do any Pepelogists know where this one comes from?
>not terrible looking
>not bullied as a kid
>had friends
>Depression kicks in
>Don't want to deal with what friends I had
>Drop out of highschool because going makes me suicidal
>Find out it's gender dysphoria
>Now a tranny with no friends who is still depressed
>can't even contact my old best friend from then because he became an adult
>I just want contact with people sometimes
I don't remember why I started coming here.
>>25430989
It's a binding of issac reference.
>>25430791
hey bro, you might have had a shitty life so far, but it *does* look like it's getting better. You're in a better country and at uni. The worst is behind you now
>>25430960
holy shit man thank you
you mind saying exactly what you did to help dev bitcoin?
>>25430989
brimstone item from binding of isaac
>>25431004
It's 'Isaac' you retarded fuck
>>25431052
;-; why do you hurt my feeweings anony-kun
>>25431038
Bitcoin is still a very small space and the work is so specialized you would know instantly just by Googling who I was. But in a general sense: I can say that I've done a lot of stuff to make wallets harder to steal by malware, with a focus on reducing the level of risk involved in doing things like currency exchange or trading securities on the blockchain.
(If somehow this post has enough unique phrases to identify, plz no dox.)
>>25430290
I'm high on ketamine running away from my familial problems. I don't know how to break this cycle
>Older sister got me into 4chan when I was 11
>Spent literally years hopping between /b/, /v/, /co/, and /a/
>Sister also got me into a lot of fucked up fetishes
>Literally raised on 4chan, I legitimately remember being 12 on /b/ and fapping to babyfuck when someone linked to it
>Adolescence was pretty much entirely friendless, the only person I had/have any kind of friendship with is my little sister
>Started posting on /r9k/ my senior year, been coming here on and off ever since
>Fast forward to now, I'm a 19 year old loser sitting at home on winter break shitposting with/at idiots and occasionally fapping
>Family life is strained at best, both my sisters are complete nutcasesjust like meand the younger one is pretty much tumblr incarnate
>Tfw can't even enjoy most of 4chan anymore since the posters I could actually relate to have been replaced by boring, shitty normalfags with stupid fucking opinions and retarded ideals
>>25431127
Don't worry senpai don't wanna dox you, just a thank you.
I honestly wish you the best.
>>25431256
>>Older sister got me into 4chan
Is she hot? How old was she at the time?
>>25431334
>Is she hot?
Honestly, yes, she was/is.
>How old was she at the time?
15
If you couldn't tell though, she's a complete pedo, and I don't associate with her anymore for a reason.
>>25431105
weeeeeeEWEEEEEEEB
>>25431357
Pathetic. Marry her and make children to molest.
>>25431395
No thanks.
If anything I'll probably just go the murder-suicide route at some point.
>>25431412
Absolute baka senpai.
>>25430827
>>25430538
Are you me? Holy shit this sounds like me so much...
>>25430290
I was born in Russia. End of the story.
Almost finished saving money for the gun, hope I'll find the courage to finally commit sudoku
>21
>Super well adjusted and charismatic dude all through highschool
>Date some chick in final year uni
>She's pretty cool. Kinda pale and bitchy but hot
>A few months in, meet some chick through a class while GF is on exchange
>This chick begins to obsess and stalk over me
>Reject her super hard
>She wants me more and its weird af
>Have a huge fight with GF over it
>end up calling stalker chick over to mine and fucking her. Absolutely mind blowing sex
>stay with GF out of guilt
>get super emotionally and mentally fucked due to her psychotic tendencies
>dump her; send video of me fucking stalker to her
>end up pumping and dumping chicks for a year
>Feel even more empty
>now not even video games or people make me happy
>only happiness I get is fucking chicks over
>somehow get off making people incredibly unhappy
What's happened to me
>>25430290
>growing up, I fall into the pitfall of vidya
>slipperyslope.jpg
>start school with vidya being the only thing I can talk about
>teachers start to worry because I never interact with students and prefer to do things myself
>parents get me diagnosed
>apparently I have literal autism [somewhat mild]
>still don't make any solid friends/contacts
>high school starts
>thingswillbedifferent.png
>tell myself I'll get out of this and attempt to become a normie because puberty and hormones kick in
>because of vidya and my autism, the damage has been done
>go through most of high school bitter
>discover 4chan and find out about /r9k/
>been here ever since due to all these relevant threads and seen /r9k/ truths unfold right in front of me
>becoming more bitter by the minute and fear my life will become pic related in the next year or so
>browse /b/ at 15
>accidentally click on arcanine when im not wearing my glasses
>rejoice at the nigger joke thread on the first page
>keep coming back for greentexts of bad nigger experiences
>forget about it after a while when i start college and feel lonely read greentext stories
>2012 year of tripfagsareforjerks
>follow the ricky arc religiously
>wizchan dissolves autists come here and start calling people normies
>pepe starts circulating hard
>redditors catch on and think this is a board for autists
>instead of shit posting they try to win the biggest loser trophy since they are redditors and want to be noticed every second of the day.
>one starts this thread
>>25430791
i'm not gonna lie to you, your past was really shitty, but come on, things are looking up after all
>>25430916
you might be his friend????
>grow up Mormon
>get molested by babysitter
>become obsessed with the idea of sex at an early age
>masturbate like crazy
>never approach women
>never have a normal relationship or friendship with a woman
>get touched and teased by girls in high school
>secretly like getting sexually harassed
>at 17 my younger sister had to go to day treatment for a while out of state, we had family there so my mom stayed with my sister there most days
>dad works
>have to basically raise my other sister for a year
>get depressed
>graduate still depressed
>get dominant gf who cheats and breaks my heart
>go to college
>more of the same weird sexual shit
>lose virginity to dominant girl
>learn to approach women but only to put the dominant girls in more situations where they could make moves
>get depressed all the time
>attempt suicide
>graduate
>get a job
>have normal sex where I initiate everything for once
>never see her again
>everyday after work, just thinking about shit
>get depressed and isolate
>slowly social skills deteriorate
>now unless I'm working, I can't talk to people
>rarely leave my apartment after work
>all I have anymore are memories
>want to die
>come to r9k
>lurk
>sleep
>work
>repeat
>>25433548
How old were you when molested?
Literally just here to amuse myself.
>>25434427
10 or so.
Originali
>>25431901
I dunno. I forgot to mention why I come here; let's see if our reasons match up.
> at 17, decide to browse r9k for some reason
> decide to start shitposting in funny threads
> start posting in feels threads
> had tried "judgement-free" zones, had tried religious groups
> judgement-free is just a way of saying "no spoken judgement"
> on r9k everything is judged
> don't need to be afraid of it
> glad to be getting honest opinions
> start becoming assimilated into the board culture
And I never left.
>>25434691
>>25434691
So like right at the cusp of puberty? Man that's probably the worst time to get molested. Are you still religious?
>>25431256
> raised on 4chan
Holy shit. I feel for you.
>>25434777
No, not at all, I'm a degenerate
>>25434755
> inb4 underageb&
I mentioned a few posts back that I'm 19 now. Surely there's some kind of statute of limitations.
>parents always fighting as kid
>they finally get divorce when im 10
>live with mom, but she starts working full time to support her two kids
>no parents or adults to raise me
>spend all my free time on computer, no social life
>not bad looking, but for some reason not interested in relationships
>hate my body, gender dysphoria from early on. repress it
>time goes by, relatively successful job as programmer and good number of friends
>finally decide to transition at 24
>lose all my friends
>lose support of family
>quit good job
>suicidal half of the days I now live
> weird, nearly autistic kid
> too spergy to be popular in school
> say around circle jerking hatred of normalfags with two other guys for all of elementary school
> had one friend in high school that didn't turn out to be a massive normalfag and ditch me
> normalfags only talk to me to make fun of me or get answers on homework from me
> discover r9k
> can circlejerk hatred of normalfags again
> can speak my mind and not just get shut the fuck down for no reason
> people actually need to give a reason before I'll stop talking
> two years after hs I've never left.
>>25430538
but he was right, it was just a fucking cat, there's actually no reason to get sad about it.
>>25436980
Found the sperg child
>suicidal
>ugly
>lost job
>no family or friends
>gay
>probably Schizophrene
>dumb as a rock
>lazy
its like i werent meant to have a happy life
>>25431256
We're you the one who was molested by your older sister?
