Mouse
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
I found a mouse in my roommates cereal, robots what do next?
>not Honey Nut Cheerios
Your roommate and mouse have shitty taste in cereal.
Getting cozy by the fire
>>25397333
fuck the little guy
Transfer it to a container and drop some food into it. Everytime it eats the food pour water on it. You should have a lid for the container. See how long until it drowns.
Just give the guy some food and let him go outside
Cut the poor bastard a break, don't go full edge mode and kill it or something
>>25397483
This op
This isn't /b/ so people here honestly don't care too much either way
>>25397333
Vivisection for science
>>25397417
time him down and cut off his penis
>>25397333
Keep him /comfy/ and just chill with mousebro. The new year is upon us, so start it off by just being a good person, anonbot.
>>25397333
Kill it, it'd fucking vermin that can mess up your house
My house is kind of infested so the little guy has to go. There's no setting it free.
I live out in the country so I have a nice warm fire going and some chickens out back. Both would be suitable to get rid of the vermin.
Eat it's heart
Drink it's bloodWash your fins in blackened mud
>>25397566
Video of throwing it in fire pls
>>25397566
keep him as a pet and gain his trust. then send him back to the other mice and he'll let them know not to fuck your house up
>>25397587
>human
>fins
u wot
>>25397483
>implying it wouldn't be right back inside in less than a minute
>implying killing a disease carrying pest is "edgy"
All humane mouse/rat catching groups suggest taking the mouse a mile from the house to be absolutely sure it won't find it's way back. As long as OP doesn't do something like fuck the mouse to death there's literally nothing edgy about killing a mouse.
>>25397645
>like fuck the mouse to death there's literally nothing edgy about killing a mouse.
This is what we need
>>25397587
BUTT BEWARE
>>25397333
cut his dick off
Little guy is actually kinda cute. I would love it if I knew It didn't carry plaugue or anything like that.
Btw I've killed over a dozen of these guys in the past month, but this is the first one I've caught alive.
>>25397333
Put it in pooper?
>>25397698
>soft, chewy texture
>arrow pointing RIGHT on the mouse
It's a sign from god. One cannot be picky during this harsh winter. Protein is protein. You know what you have to do.
>>25397698
Stay /comfy/ with him anonbot. At least for the night. Give him one final good day of life.
>>25397698
Do some crazy experiment with him
>>25397698
You have to see if it actually has a soft, chewy texture
>>25397698
>Soft chewy texture
>>25397698
Cheeky little cunt, isn't he.
>"Have you heard the good word of Jesus Christ, sir?"
>>25397698
>literally arrow pointing at mouse advertising soft chewy texture
You know what must be done
You are human
You are master of food chain
Devour it
Assert your dominance in nature
>>25397698
Have sex wi him
>>25397740
The chickens could find out for me.
>>25397698
boil it alive
make sure to record so we can hear the sounds
>>25397698
Look at him
The smug little bastard
You just know he's carrying Black Death on him
>>25397775
Are they fast enough?
>>25397698
burn him
>>25397698
Cover him in roast beef then piss in the box and record it for us. Itll be legendary senpai
Make a protein shake.
>>25397333
i use to own rats m8 you can teach em to ride in ur pocket or shoulders and shit
>>25397802
He's not even smug its ops flash
>>25397802
he think he's better than you OP
he knows you don't get laid
do what must be done
what SHOULD be done
>>25397333
livestream torture
>>25397333
Remove benis
>>25397775
What kind of fucking chickens do you have that eat mice
>>25397698
Australian? I recognize that species as a bush mouse.
Kill it. A knife through the head kills it instantly. Don't do edgy shit like throwing it in a fire or drowning it.
>>25397333
>Put him in your jacket pocket and go for comfy night walk.
>When it turns new years, let him go somewhere away from your house.
mice carry leprosy, dude
find a way to kill it painlessly
either that or dump it outside the apartment
OP here,
I think I'm going to throw it in the fire; pic related. Can you upload video on this site? I don't know how.
drive a long way away and let it go near some normie's house
Got a cat?
Give it to it, it would love it.
>>25397976
you would have to convert it to a webm file
>>25397960
>When it turns new years
Still waiting for your balls to drop US?
>>25397976
just record with your phone and upload on yt
>>25397976
>Jumps out on fire and runs under the couch
>>25397996
Not him but we're the biggest world superpower soo yea watch what you say about america.
>>25397976
Do it Anakin. Do. It.
>>25397976
fuck me, what a morbid way to end the year
you're going to end up with a screeching fireball running under your sofa
just put some ratpoison in the cereal bag
>>25397698
thinking it is ok to make animals suffer because you have failed at life and browse r9k
>autism
>>25397976
Pls no WebM, I'm on shitty Apple product
Op for the love of god let it fucking go
>>25398082
>white knighting for animals
Why are you here again reddit?
>>25398089
Get the app VLC
You're welcome.
>finding mouse in your food
what kinda third world shithole do you live
>>25398082
tumblr get out
you aren't wanted here
>>25398106
kill urself u pussy
don't leave us hanging OP
is the sacrifice complete OP?
can we harvest our crops yet?
Throw it in the oven and crank up the heat.
>>25398147
OP here,
Northern California, near the Silicon Valley. I live in the outskirts on a ranch, cheapest place I could find for rent.
It's pretty cosy here but a bit lonely. I have chickens, and there are cattle and horses here too. It's pretty comfy for a guy like myself.
As for the mouse, I can hear them scratching at my walls at night from the inside. These bastards need to go.
>>25398329
when are you going to torture it i need something to fap to
>>25397333
OP, if you kill the mouse then 2016 will be a bad year for you. Whatever you do on New Years Eve and New Years' Day will affect the rest of that year.
>>25398329
hurry the fuck up and kill it no one cares about your blog
I caught a mouse once. I rigged up a container with filled with water and a single tiny little perch to get out of the water. Here comes the fun part. I rigged an old fan motor and pushed low power through it so it rotates slowly, I removed all the blades but a little piece of dowel so it goes past the perch by about an inch above. It pushes mouse in water, he swims back, only to be pushed in water again a 10 seconds or so later. He dies of sleep deprivation or drowning, I"m not sure which it was because I eventually found him dead in the water. It was pretty funny though, he kept trying to get back on his little stoop. I'd like to do more experiments but I haven't been lucky enough to catch another live one.
>>25398329
Give it to the chickens and be done with it.
>>25398329
Please deliver I'm drunk and bored. Live stream this.
>>25398381
you could always just buy a mouse from a pet store
people buy them all the time to feed their snakes and shit
Let the sinner roast
Let the smoke carry his soul to eternal asphyxiation within the Crawling Chaos
>>25397698
dispose of it before it escapes.
>>25398366
>implying killing a mouse isn't incredibly lucky
I once caught a corn snake out on the trails, about 4 ft long. I took it back and threw it at my birds. Peacocks and guineafowl fucking hate snacks. They tore him a new asshole.I don't know why but it's funny as shit to me watching a small group of birds rekk a snake. I know they're good and keep mice away, but fuck him, it was just his day and I needed a laff. I also caught a baby bunny once. That's the day I learned rabbits can scream, fucking weird as hell noise and it damn near gave me a heart attack. It was a qt though so I didn't kill it. I just played with it a while before letting it go. I think the best part was tying a rope around it's waist and then hopping it around the yard. It was persistent in trying to escape too. I think I saw it's mother, about every morning at 5 in the morning it's in my front yard, and my dumbass slowpoke dog would chase it. Still hasn't caught him, but I haven't seen it lately since it got colder. One day I"ll get to see a rabbit eaten by a dog. I bet adult bunnies scream even louder.
>>25398503
this is why I come to /r9k/
when the day comes that you catch that rabbit make sure to tell us about it
I thew the mouse in the fire, the deed is done.
For all of you sick fucks who like details it ran around then jumped out of the fire. I managed to step on it, while it was still alive I picked it up with tongues and threw it back in. It squealed, but died quickly.
There you go, the sacrifice is complete. Anon you can harvest your crops this year.
>>25398578
why the fuck didn't you record it asshole?
>>25398578
Normies will post this on r/4chan
Thanks for somewhat delivering op. Cheers to you.
>>25398578
>throwing in with pliers
Fucking brutal
The Elder Ones are pleased
>>25398610
Thanks mate, cheers to you too, now I'm going to go back to /pol/ where I belong.
It was fun giving you autists something to get excited out.
>>25398578
>For all of you sick fucks who like details it ran around then jumped out of the fire. I managed to step on it, while it was still alive I picked it up with tongues and threw it back in. It squealed, but died quickly.
>>25398759
>with tongues
Did it really have soft chewy texture?
>>25397931
Nigger chickens will eat anything
>>25397637
its dethklok mayne
>>25398778
It's spelled tongs ass hat.
Honestly don't kill it man, just throw it outside
I mean c'mon.
>>25397333
does your roommate not close the fucking thing? how would it even get in there?
>>25398733
We need a better picture op!
>>25397698
mice/rats were literally made for experimenting shit on, don't let this chance go to waste op.
chop its limbs off, patch up the wounds, then keep it in a container and feed it its own limbs. for science of course.
>>25399657
reddit pls go. we dont want you here.
>>25398366
shut the fuck up retard lmfao
>>25399657
>>25399682
>>25399774
>>25399817
>>25399848
>>25399875
threads over
you got here late
move along to your next shitpost station
da heck?
>>25399887
>move along to your next shitpost station
you first bitch
GIVE HIM TO ME WHERE DO YOU LIVE I WILL TAKE HIM IN AS MY OWN
>>25399989
There's about a dozen more living under my house, if you want one come and get them.
>>25399989
Soooo close
Ffffgggd
>>25397566
>My house is kind of infested so the little guy has to go. There's no setting it free.
You don't have to set it free in your house--you can take it some distance away and release it. It won't come back.
white people are nasty af.
how the hell do multiple mice get in your house and into your food as well? do you live in a fucking landfill?
Get a couple of Maine coons bro and say goodbye to your mouse problem, a fucking falcon would be awesome too.
>>25397976
this is how serial killers are made
Why would you burn it? I mean it's a rat, not a jew.
>>25401219
it's a cat you faggot
>>25401325
No it's not, what the fuck is wrong with you?
It's a bat.
>>25397976
Why though, its just an innocent mouse, why would you do that
cut off its dick like snippy
>>25397333
Befriend the little guy and link your friend to a website that teaches proper food storage.
>>25397698
rest in peace with your soft chewy texture
>>25398578
Well this is probably the last good thread of the year, good thread.
>>25401187
Don't you meancereal killers?
>>25397698
just look at that fucker's face
he's laughing at you OP
he's laughing that you're too much of a pussy to do anything to him and he knows you're just gonna let him go
>>25398578
Your house must smell great right now lol
Y'all niggas sick.
>Go back to le Reddit
>Go back to le tumblr
>Get out le Normie
>>25398329
get some peppermint oil anon
>>25397333
What goes around comes around...remember that anon...
>>25398578
THE PROPHET NAME .....
MOHAMED...
I HATE YOU I M A MUSLIM SHUT UP LITTLE SUCKER...
ALL ANIMAL SACRED IN ALLAH EYES
FUCK YOU SUCKER
does anyone have that gif where mouse dick gets snipped?
>>25398578
BLOOD FOR THE GOD OF THE NEW YEAR
>>25398578
>
wtf you monster
needless loss of life
>>25402210
This. I wish edgy underage btards would leave this board.
>>25397457
seconded
FOA SCIENZE
>>25397723
underrated t0pkek
Could have had a free mousebro, but you fucked it up. Nice job, faggot.
>>25404287
>not enjoying that soft, chewy texture
>>25403627
>burning
>blood
Khorne is angry, faggot should've just smashed the critter instead of going full-edgelord
>>25398578
You're a stupid fucking loser who will have a shit 2016 and life. I hate you and many others do as well. Hopefully you'll fall into a pit of flames like that poor mouse did. You are a disgusting worthless piece of shit.
>>25404458
>[TRIGGERED]
GTFO normiescum
>>25404499
Dubdubs speak truth.
Normie faggots out
>>25398578
There was literally and figuratively no reason to do that.
>>25398106
>>25398159
as said above
>autism
>>25401618
Underdogged post. SOmeone upboat it.
literally, why is r9k so slow today that this thread survives?
>>25397976
op is eastern european. no wonder he wants to hurt a defenceless creature
hitler was right in removing you
>>25408908
>>25398329
yeah of course hes eastern european you braindead retard
>>25398578
i'll harvest my crops alright
cant say the same bout you senpai, looks like its gonna be a grim year 4 u
Kill it humanely. Put it in a sack and smack it with a hammer on it's head. Instant death.
>>25398733
>/pol calling others autistic
good joke
>>25408985
>people don't lie on the internet
>telling people on an image board where you live after you post images of you torturing a field mouse
who's the real braindead retard?
>>25408991
read the thread before you post
>>25398050
whoa there friend
>usa numbar wan
>>25397333
edgy nigger pls leave, why did you do that
>hurr durr killing a mouse is so edgy if you don't agree you are le reddit normie
kill yourself OP
>>25409233
what I don't get is why he didn't post it on /b/, shit would have blown up. Here nobody cares because they identify more with the mouse than OP.
>>25398050
Kek
>implying America isn't weak capitalistshit state
>>25409016
>english on cereal box
>perfect grammar
>implying anything will happen to him for posting his region
>who's the real braindead retard?
the one who deludes himself to believe everything he doesnt like is to be blamed on eastern europeans
>>25398578
Wow, fuck you anon.
You could have had a great friendship together, it was your destiny. He could have been your bro.
>>25409396
>>25409281
this, could have explored the world with mousebro instead he killed his only potential friend
>>25403460
>fuck you sucker
Wow nice comeback bro
