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Anonymous
I am s0 screwed
2016-01-01 01:12:06 Post No. 25394200
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I am s0 screwed
Anonymous
2016-01-01 01:12:06
Post No. 25394200
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there is something wrong. its new years eve, I am supposed to spend this night reflecting on the year, thinking about the future. instead you can find me at the club tonight, getting myself shitfaced until I feel nothing. I feel very bad about it, something is wrong.
I think I am being conditioned to feel alone, somehow. when I am by myself, I do not feel lonely, or bad that I am spending time by myself. it is only when friends and coworkers ask me about my night, that I feel sad. so in order to avoid said sadness, I go out. I go to the club to feel less alone, but find I feel more alone than ever as a result. I don't want to be here, but I feel like I need to. and I don't know why. I am motivated by my sadness, motivation that is not my own.
why the fuck is it so important that I spend this night with other people, this one fucking night. you should've seen the lines at the liquor store. does anyone else see this looming sadness in everyone? they are so desperate to connect with another human being they do not know, and they don't know why.
and I don't know why. is there something wrong with me? am I cynical or do I just see what others do not?
