How do I get these awful emotions out?
I have been severely depressed for years now, but in the last few weeks I've become incredibly angry and upset. I have crushed two of my mice (not animals, computer mice).
I have gone almost catatonic at other times, so depressed and feel so much pain that I can't bear to do anything but stare at the wall for what is literally hours.
I've tried drinking, I've cut my thighs and arms badly, I go for drives and scream, play video games to get my mind off things, but I just can't find a way to stop this intense emotional turmoil. It never used to be like this, but now I'm either angry to the point where I want to smash everything I own, or in so much emotional pain I literally just can't move.
What is wrong with me?
When I feel depressed I exercise and hang out with friends or my girlfriend. I only ever feel depressed when I am alone, which is so much more rare now because I live in a dorm and my roommate is my best friend.
kil urslef
>>25377305
Can't tell if you're baiting or not. I have only one friend and he lives several states away. I am in constant isolation and I wouldn't want it any other way because other people make me very very anxious.
I do lift but it doesn't get the emotions out.
Get a gun and kill everyone on sight
>>25377315
I have a loaded shotgun in my room and I have been considering it for a long time now.
>>25377341
Nah, nobody else deserves to die just because I'm a mentally ill faggot.
>>25377334
I was relatively anxious before going to college but not so much because I knew my girlfriend and I were living on the same hall in the same building so it's easier for me to socialize when I already have people there I know, plus everyone else in that situation is completely new too.
I think I lost my "I can't go outside I'm being judged by everyone" anxiety when I worked retail all of last summer
>>25377377
I don't have that anxiety, I don't care what other people think of me. My anxiety is entirely a physical one, being around anyone but my brother, friend, or dad (and even them half the time) makes me sweat uncontrollably and visibly, and makes my heart pound like there is no tomorrow.
I also do not want a girlfriend because I am an insecure loser who could never date her unless she was a virgin.
