Just posting a thread because I'm butthurt and wanted to say Fuck you one more goddamn time you cunt.
I can't understand how years later I'm still hurt, like the scab is still there. I've moved on and even gotten married, there have been relationships since you, but all I want is what I had with you. It was easy, it was free, I didn't have to try and earn it. It was fucking innocent.
Kill yourself faggot, end your life. Not later, not tomorrow, today.
It hurts to hear your songs, I'm still afraid of seeing your type of car. Fuck you and your fiance you went back to that I cucked years ago. Fuck all the friends you stole that I haven't seen in years. Fuck you for making being in the same college as you so terrifying because of the off chance we may run into each other, or find out we had mutual friends. God that scares the shit out of me.
Fuck you for hurting me in the first place, and fuck you for trying to get back in as a friend and fuck you for fucking that up because your then boyfriend sucked dick and you wanted companionship. Fuck you for making what we had feel cheap, and casting it aside. Fuck you because I still love you but we've grown and the person you are might not be the same person in my head, but my memories are all I have of you and I cherish them as much as they hurt me.
I've spent hours trying to figure out why you cheated on me with your goddamn teacher. Where did I go wrong and what did I do? Where did I fail? What I was and what I wasn't. I have no answer, just the pain that exists after the fact, after the schism, after the break. I want to feel proud again, god I want to feel like I'm lucky again.
Fuck you for being my first, and for instilling in me this fucked up notion that sex equals love. I've never had sex with a woman I didn't love, but I know you've had sex with men you didn't. You made your body a cheap tool used to pump orgasms out of other people in some facsimile of a relationship because I guess that's enough for you. Physical gratification wears off after a few minutes, and then you're in a room with a stranger and you smell like shame. Fuck you for being that, for taking the girl in my head and turning her into who you are. I know you're cheating on David - I know because I still log into your facebook to check up on you. It stings every time but I have this sick catharsis afterwards knowing you're still safe, that nothing is wrong, and I hate it because I should be telling you to fuck off and die but I can't.
Fuck you for giving me confidence and fuck you for completely taking it away. Fuck you for having secrets, fuck you for asking me to keep them, and fuck you because I still keep them - except anonymously on the internet. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I knew the specifics of what you did, who it was with. I could tell your old friends and they would judge the shit out of you. But I can't actually hurt you, and fuck you for that.
Fuck all your dad's money, fuck your stupid job at his company, fuck your alcoholic mother and your yappy dog. Fuck your bitch sisters and their retarded kids, fuck your awkward fembot friends, fuck your history, fuck your happiness, fuck your future, fuck your stupid psychology degree, fuck your cucked fiance, fuck the dude you're cheating with, fuck being cheap, fuck being a liar, fuck hurting the people who care about you, fuck you fuck you fuck you.
This space station has lost the desire to be in your orbit.
All I want to hear is "I'm sorry." That's it. I could finally move on if all you would do is own up to all the shit you fucking did. All the baggage I carry that you could make disappear by finally owning up to it. Instead of me being bogged down with your secrets, just don't be such a shitty goddamn whore. Fuck the pedestal I've put you on as the superlative for companionship just because you were the first girl I had ever cared about. Fuck you for making me feel those things, and fuck you for being the reason I lost those feels.
Just tell her fiance about the cheating, that will get her good.
Don't give me this shit about "I could never I have no right and I love her". Just fuck her shit up family.
>>25353122
To what end? I know I hold quite a few cards that could fuck her life up but I don't think causing her unhappiness is somehow going to increase my own happiness. Over the years I've gotten up on this high horse that I get to look down at her from, which is comfortable but I keep waiting for karma the universe or something to give me a sign that I'm still good, that I still haven't done anything wrong, that she is the transgressor and that justice will one day be served. That she'll have a crystallizing moment and be crushed by the weight of how shitty she has been.
And then she'll have the balls to apologize to me.
Oh man, you guys. I had missed shit. I really fucked up. I'm fucking crying. I've missed this for so long. I had her blocked from my facebook page, but when I was on hers I found a message I never received, that she sent in 2013. Holy fuck you guys. Jesus fuck.
I feel absolved now.
>>25353684
Good friend.
You should lie down and sleep or do something else.
I hope things get better and you can move on.
>>25353292
you really think that shits gunna happen, familia?
blah blah blah people are stupid OP now you know human relationships are a silly maymay unless you can actually manage to wade through the bullshit that is the human psyche/drama-inducing external impositions
just let it go OP
it can be done I bereef in u
>>25352557
YOU FUCKING SMURF PIECE OF SHIT PLAY AT YOUR OWN RANK FAGGOT INSTEAD OF KEEPING ME IN SILVER HELL AAAAHHHHH
