>be me at pharmacy
>"Mr. Anon, your prescription is ready"
>go to counter, look at script
>see: 'your insurance saved you $2,500'
>"Hah. $2,500? What, does this drug cure both cancer *and* AIDS?"
>pharmacist gives me a sad smile
>look at drug label (first time getting that med)
>notice it is a specialty drug normally only given to AIDS patients
>suddenly remember that I am a brain cancer survivor
>remember that one of the complications of brain surgery was severe immune deficiency
>remember I have a prominent surgical scar on my forehead
>realize I look like a lobotomy patient, or one of the walking dead
>everyone around me looks sad
>tfw my memory is utter shit because of multiple brain surgeries
>tfw I am only 30 years old but my life is practically over already
>tfw watching anime, jerking off, and shitposting would be a major step up from my current situation
>tfw can't kill myself because beating cancer made me realize the value/rarity of life
>tfw can't kill myself because I could never put my family through suicide after seeing how much my cancer devastated them
>tfw my mom literally aged 10 years over the course of a month
>tfw she was standing behind me the whole time (now with tears in her eyes)
>tfw I legitimately forgot that as well
>tfw I feel bad for making everyone else feel bad about my shitty situation
>hurridly finish the transaction so I can get the hell out of there
That's it. No punchline. My existence is a living hell. I envy anyone who still has their physical health.
>tfw too sick/weak to be a proper loser NEET like the rest of r9k
Dude. Just buy the helium tank already.
>>25350352
>has a cast iron excuse to get endless disability bennies
>never expected to work
>will always have a home
>can rewatch movies, anime and replay vista without being bored due to poor memory
>prob gets some balling painkillers
You lucky fucker, I wish I was you. You don't even appreciate how lucky you are.
>>25350352
Its funny cuz I'd totally trade lives with you.
>>25350385
Can't do that, senpai. The stress of watching me battle brain cancer nearly killed both of my parents. They would literally die of grief if I committed suicide.
>>25350429
You are literally living the dream right now, why do you want to suicide? It's not like you have to worry about finances or work or social interaction any more.
>>25350352
I did not see those feels coming
>>25350352
Are you a cletus, OP? If so, then I'm happy you're suffering. Serves you right, inbred cumstain.
>>25350419
>has a cast iron excuse to get endless disability bennies
can't deny that
>never expected to work
unfortunately not true. a LOT of people want me to work again.
>will always have a home
when my parents die I am likely fucked. such is life in burgerstan.
>can rewatch movies, anime and replay vista without getting bored because my memory is shit
there is some truth to this
>prob get some balling painkillers
yep, morphine and oxycodone. also amphetamines, benzos, muscle relaxers, sleeping pills, medical weed... and even barbituates.
not worth it though desu senpai
>>25350453
>nausea/vomiting and horrible chronic pain all day
>living the dream
pick one
Never heard brain surgery can cause immunodeficiency.
>>25350352
>somehow remember this happening to you point by point
>>25350352
Wow, I laughed multiple times at this. I gotta say at least you still have your humor about you. Prolly cool as fuck, sorry you are dyin bro
>>25350650
>yep, morphine and oxycodone. also amphetamines, benzos, muscle relaxers, sleeping pills, medical weed... and even barbituates.
Fuck it man, how do I get brain cancer? or any cancer really. Stick my balls in the microwave?
>>25351485
OP sounds like u are living man, and you are amusing, do some writing. help others
>>25351574
i also laughed at OPs story, not laughed at but with kinda feel tho
>>25350352
Enjoy those tendies, you are a good son OP. I'm glad you didn't lose your humor.
OP, have you at least gotten some hardcore painmeds out of this mess?
