Tired of life

>>25337045
Whats wrong?
Ill listen.

Well it started about 2 years ago. I started dating this one girl ( yes i know all this over a female ) everything was good a couple times we'd fight and shit and a lot happened we did drugs together movies normal couple shit but things started to go down hill. and i had to stay at my friends house who lived about 5 minutes away from her. Because i was selling drugs and i got her house raided so i would stay at my friends house and wait till she got outta school so i could hangout with her everyday. and Halloween night i had xanax about 12 bars ( 2mg pills ) and i ended up sleeping with my friends older sister who was in a relationship with my other friends brother. and i went to her house my dad shows up i have a pound in my bag so i had to dip. and stashed it i went to the icu. and i go to an inpaitient hospital. and i get a letter saying how were done and how could u do this to me. and that was the begging of a very long journey. after being in for two weeks i went to a rehab for 40 days i get back. i find out shes been sleeping with a guy i used to sell drugs to fucked another guy i sold drugs to. and blew my bestfriend. and then the truth comes out of when we were dating for 2 years she slept with 3 other guys. and didnt tell me. and this is all hitting me at once and for some reason i stil have feelings for the girl. and i dont know what to do i cant take it like my minds gonna blow up.