>picking up gf from university
>have a badass jacket on, toothpick in mout
>drive OST playing
>strap watch to steering wheel
>she comes near the car
>opens the door
>anon, great to see you, can we wait for a couple of my friends, I told them that we would give them a lift also?
>~...~
>anon?
>you have 5 minutes
>egh, what? ok...
>wait for 5 minutes, not more, not less
>they are jogging to my car, clearly seeing my gf and me
>5 minutes are up
>I immediatly start driving, even though they were in a couple of steps from the car
>gf: OMG anon, y u do this? This is so mean, you are a special kind of dick blablabla
>smile blankly not saying a word
>drive into the sunset
>real human bean

>be 23 years old
>at Halloween party
>wearing scorpion jacket and leather gloves
>everyone's dancing, getting drunk while I stand silently in the corner
>every girl there is drawn into the aura of mystery I exude
>nod at the girls and step outside
>silently watch the party from the outside
>drunk 7.5/10 comes outside
>smiles at me, I nod and flash a half-smile
>asks for a smoke
>offer her a toothpick instead
>"Umm....thanks"
>Ask her what her name is
>"Cassidy, you?"
>Break eye contact and stare intensely into the distance
>Her boyfriend comes outside and lights a cigarette for her
>Hear her tell him she wants to leave
>He's too fucked to take her home
>This is my chance
>Boyfriend leaves
>Turn to her and say, "so you need a ride?"
>"Uh, yeah"
>"I drive"
>"Great, you think you could drop me at my place?"
>Silently nod
>"Thanks, you're a lifesaver"
>Start walking down the driveway with her
>"So, where's your car parked?"
>realize I don't have a car
>realize I can't even drive
>realize I caught the bus to the party
>silently panic
>look around, trying to find an escape route
>She keeps asking where my car is
>"I don't feel like driving tonight"
>"Why not?"
>"I just cleaned my car, and uh...my hands are a little dirty"
>"But you're wearing gloves"
>Fuck
>continue walking silently
>fidget in my pockets for another toothpick
>realize I spent my bus money on my last box of toothpicks
>"where is your car!"
>Need to get out of here
>Walk to the bus stop
>Fuck it, here goes nothing
>Start playing Drive soundtrack on my phone
>Lean in for the kiss
>"WHAT THE FUCK?"
>Pushes me away
>Panic and shove her to the ground
>Go through her purse for bus money, and find it
>She's getting up
>One thing is left to be done
>Go to curb stomp her so no one ever finds out
>Had too much to drink
>Awkwardly trip and fall flat on her neck
>Hear a snapping sound
>Quickly hide her body behind the bus stop and board the bus
>Real hero and a real human bean

>>25330679
Goddamnit how have I never seen this one