ITT We share our most personal insecurities and others listen and try to helpHard Mode: Be Nice
I feel like I'm still a little kid even though I'm 20, like I'm constantly 8 years behind everyone. I hate being alone because then I'm stuck with myself and sooner or later all my thoughts will turn against me and the never ending cycle of criticizing myself over nothing begins. But the worst part is I don't know if I actually want to change. I hate being like this but dealing with adult responsibilities sounds even worse. I know I'm never gonna have a normal life and I guess I'm ok with that, but it doesn't make me feel any less confused
>>25323982
No one actually grows up. There isn't some magic switch that goes off and says "YOURE A GROWN UP NOW!" Conciousness is a never ending stream. It doesn't notice the difference.
I felt like that a lot at your age. I'm 28. I still don't know what being an adult means. I guess what I'm saying is you are not alone and it's natural to feel this way.
>>25324065
So the feeling just goes away and is replaced by new and different (yet sometimes similar) feels?
>>25324065
I am 28 as well. I agree that there is no "adult switch", but I personally do believe that some people "grow up" mentally and some don't. I don't feel or think any different then I did when I was 15 for instance. Then on the other hand I see some 21 or 22 year olds who "look" and act a lot more adult then me. Can this be fixed? Am I destined to be 40+ and think and act like a fucking teenager ?
>>25323982
iktf OP. Because of my parent's divorce I became really withdrawn and missed out on that crucial middle school time of social development. Ever since I've been playing an impossible game of catch up
>>25323982
At 22 I feel more experienced and grown up than I did at 20. I'm sure I'll feel the same way at 24. It's a process man,as you live your ligfe you learn more and more.
>>25323982
What factors in your life lead you to become this way anon?
>started flirting with very close friend
>She responds positively
>In a matter of days she stops responding positively, taking long periods to return texts, sometimes not responding at all
>I start to do the same
>Start to feel the hated and very familiar anxiety build in my stomach
>It only gets worse when we are in person because we don't really have anything to say for some reason, even when we aren't near our group (inb4 not a robot. I admit I have an advantage here, but only because its a church group. We've been around each other for literally years)
>Only this morning was I able to convince myself that I liked the idea of her rather than the person herself
>I've returned to my natural, neutral self. It feels...so fucking good.
>tfw I can still feel little scraps of anxiety scrapping at my psyche
>tfw I've accepted I'm really going to be alone for the rest of my life
i don't know what to pursue in life and the thought of never amounting to anything shreds what's left of me. in many ways i am naive but that's not what bothers me, i am more bothered by the fact that there are people out in the world right now who have ill intent towards me. this might be more of a rambling than insecurities, im not too sure.
>>25324194
Don't worry too much about it. You won't be alone the rest of your life because one girl did mental gymnastics and decided she liked someone else better. Women can be fucking animals, one wrong action and they will sometimes disqualify you from their dating pool forever. Their standards are impossibly high, in time they will realize that nobody is perfect and "the one" is just an idealized person they've made up in their own mind, no one can live up to an ideal.
Chill. Another one will come along.
/bipolar/ and /adhd/ here. I'm 21 and all the things I used to enjoy are unreachable because of my worsening symptoms and inability to focus. I've been hospitalized and have been going to intensive outpatient for four fucking months, when the norm is 1-2. All I can do is play videogames because they're the only thing that can stimulate my brain enough to allow me to focus on something. I can't focus on conversations so I come off as a sperg. I can't focus on hobbies so I can't build self-esteem. I lift but the mood stabilizers I've been on are making me fat. I've been waiting and waiting for some ADHD meds to work and so far nothing. It feels like my mind is trapped in a daydream that I can't snap out of. Life is passing me by and I'm unable to actually live because I've got a fucking defective brain. I hear stories about ADHDers becoming CEOs like Richard Branson and I wish I could attain that, but every good thing in life seems unattainable to me. I'm losing hope.
>>25323982
>grow up with very abusive and neglectful parents
>forced to care for myself and two siblings
>robbed of my childhood
>conditioned to be a violent edgelord
>become obsessed with killing my parents from a very young age
>fixate on it throughout my youth, it fuels everything that I do
>go through some serious shit, do a lot of awful things, hurt a lot of people
>just when my edgelord status is cemented, I get in trouble with the law and do a 180 thanks to years of therapy and more conditioning
>now that I'm an adult and have all of this experience behind me, still plagued with the same obsession
>intentionally moved to the opposite side of the country from them to resist temptation
>still obsessed with death and violence
>struggle every single day to contain these urges and realize my ambitions instead of throwing my life away
>noticeably awkward around other people, given little to no respect except from the people who know me/know a fraction of what I've done
>constantly doubting if I'm a laughingstock and my entire life amounts to a joke to other people or if it's sympathetic and understandable
When I was a kid I always wondered if I was actually autistic and people were just humoring me. As an adult I'm just concerned that no one genuinely wants my company or believes the things that I say. I am so fucking miserable, I have to struggle with these horrible urges almost constantly and I feel like a whiny, edgy teenager if I dare to mention it to anyone else.
The worst thing is my mother and father have my cellphone number, and they're trying to talk me into taking a trip to their home. All expenses paid. Avoiding their calls, eventually having to make excuses to not go, it makes me so fucking anxious I can't stand it. I'm almost too embarrassed to submit this post but I'm going to say fuck it.
On my end I feel like I'm physically stuck rather than mentally. I stopped growing at 14(5'6) and I still wear clothes from middle school.
I feel trapped in a child's body and literally less of a person. All memes aside I absolutely hate this. There is nothing I can do so the only advice possible is "get confident". Oh well, I just vented anyway.
>>25324271
How old are you? You probably still have time to figure it out. Specific reason for the paranoia?
>>25324397
Have you ever confronted your parents about their behavior? They seem to want you around now and maybe they'll be willing to listen. Talking it out may help you release all of the anger you have held in for so long.
That would only work if they were willing to listen. If they are, it's worth a shot. Just be tactful. Be sure to communicate effectively and not just scream and curse.
>>25324103
>>25324142
I think maturity is a choose and out of your control. You don't choice the events that mature you, but you choice to mature because of them or not.
With no reason to mature, most people don't. For instance, I've been poor my whole life so I've had to go without. I'm used to it. My better off friends throw temper tantrums when they don't get the simplest things, because they're used to getting what they want. So I handle the situation more maturely. However, being better off means they're more socially adjusted where I'm not. So I might act immature in a social situation because I don't know any better.
This is why girls always act like they're 16. Everything is handed to them so much they don't have any real incentive to stop thinking and behaving in the same way.
Maturity is an option. But you need external events to be given the option in the first place.
>>25324142
I feel like a lot of people just get comfortable and stop making a concious attempt at maturing. They become satisfied with their view on life and sort of stop paying attention to things as much. That's just my opinion though and I doubt it actually has anything to back it up
>>25324194
I guess a part of it is cause I had a confusing childhood
>helicopter parents who hit me and screamed at mewhen I did things wrong
>constantly criticized my appearance, my friends, etc. weakening my self esteem
>friends picked on me and called me stupid for years until I started to believe I was stupid (to be fair I was just as much of a dick too)
>confused about my sexuality and gender since I was little
>bad grades in school, barely graduated highschool
>write songs
>chasing a pipe dream, hoping I can catch it before my bridge collapses under me
>apologize too much
All of this combined with the fact that I was a cringey dork for like all of middle school and early highschool doesn't help. Things have gotten a lot better lately but I'm still an idiot
>>25324575
I had confronted them numerous times when I was a child and was completely ignored or abused for speaking out against them. Once, as an adult, my psychiatrist talked me into having a group therapy session with them. I was in a secure environment where I didn't have an opportunity to harm them, and we had a very surprisingly level and mature discussion about their behavior and some of their past that led to their actions. I felt better for a couple weeks afterwards, but then this irrational hatred came bubbling back up, It's just festered and gotten worse over time, no matter how much they've improved as people. It hurts me so fucking much that they aren't the monsters that they were back then, my blind hatred isn't justified anymore.
>be 29
>wife divorced me a year ago and has my son pretty much all the time
>life is hard on her and she has a hard time surviving with said kid
>son is 4 years old and he loves me more than anything
>Be a raging alcoholic because its the only way to not feel so much pain for losing family
>finally get a good job as bartender and make great money
>she calls me on the verge of tears saying "You havent helped me financially, and I might have to take this to court"
>Sweet talk my way out of it because I spend all my money on booze and sluts
>only way i know how to numb the pain
>still love her
>will never get her back
>if i change, i might have a chance at redemption
>might get my family back
>mfw I say im going to stop drinking tomorrow
>mfw I say im going to stop drinking tomorrow
>mfw I say im going to stop drinking tomorrow
>>25324677
I can understand not knowing where to put your anger. Be careful, because you might end up placing it on yourself - and that's depression. If you're not still doing it, I would recommend continuing to see your psychiatrist/therapist. This problem is deeply ingrained in your psyche and will haunt you for the rest of your life unless you can get it all out.
>>25324345
I'd agree but this isn't the first time. I've never had a relationship that passed 3 months. Im a 4th year college student and I haven't be in a relationship my entire time here. Its not that I haven't tried, I have. I just realized I'm incapable of bonding with someone in less than a year. But this girl, I literally grew up with her (been friends since we were 12). If I can't make it work with someone I'm close with, nor can I connect with someone new, what chance is there?
>>25324397
If they can't do >>25324575, it would be best to change your number. As for the friend thing, I've found friendship works best when you have something to offer (preferably personality wise.)
>I feel like a whiny, edgy teenager if I dare to mention it to anyone else.
I can relate
>>25324759
Dead
Beat
Beating
Dead
Horse
>>25324759
Sounds like they don't really mean all that much to you since you've chosen the drink over making an effort to get them back.
>>25324800
Thanks for the reply. Regrettably I'm bipolar and already in a very long depressive episode, so it's a little late to try to prevent that. I'm still seeing my psychiatrist/therapist on a biweekly basis, and we're slowly (SLOWLY) working through my issues. I'm trying my best to be cooperative and do what they ask but it's just taking so fucking long, I'm impatient and just want to feel better.
>>25324810
>it would be best to change your number.
Man, I've done it three times over the last six years. They're persistent, and it's easier at this point to just ignore their calls than to change my number with everyone else again. It's not like they're being malicious, though, they're legitimately concerned about my well-being. I don't know.
Thanks for the advice.
>>25324902
I'm bipolar too. See >>25324386
>>25323982
Have had moderate psoriasis since I was kid. Used to cover most of body including my face, scalp and across my groin but is now limited to one of my knees and both elbows. Gets bad in winter but us controlled with moisturizer and vitamin D tablets.
As I said it's not as bad as it was when I was younger but it limited my interaction with girls.
>>25324651
>helicopter parents who hit me and screamed at mewhen I did things wrong
I can relate to this problem. Especially my dad. At some point it became clear he was trying to raise an obedient child instead of a responsible adult.
>constantly criticized my appearance, my friends, etc. weakening my self esteem
Other kids did this to me. I remember in 6th grade, a girl was walking by and caught a glimpse of me. She actually went out of her way to walk up and to me tell me that I'm ugly, and then went back on her business. The girls in my class were the same, and the guys would mock me and my friends. Now I have low self esteem but cover it with unshakable stubbornness and quiet assertiveness.
I asked because I feel the same, but I found having a job and assuming more responsibilities help me feel more adult-ish. I hate all of it but its necessary. I don't have a license or an apartment of my own yet (I live in brooklyn) but I feel like when I get those I'll feel more like the adult I should be.
>>25324866
I stopped drinking last year, in late January. Went a solid 4 months without it. Went out one day 11:30am. Stopped at a bar, and havent stopped since. Once I typed this out, I'm starting to realize how much of a cunt I am.
>>25324928
My sympathies, I can relate all too well to most of that. There's no use forcing yourself to do things you're incapable of- enjoy your videogames and don't beat yourself up if you can help it. I HIGHLY recommend getting on meds that do not cause weight gain- I'm taking lithium and wellbutrin, for example, and the latter actually helps with weight loss. You don't have to ruin your body to help fix your mind. Don't have much experience with ADHD but generally speaking, sticking to therapy and taking your meds regularly is the best course of action. Do your best to not compare your progress to other people, because you have led a different life and will need to have different treatment based on your personal situation.
Best of luck to you
>>25324651
Holy shit, you're literally me, especially the apoogizing, cringiness in middle school and early highschool and believing that you're stupid.
Do you struggle with anxiety at all?
>>25325007
I'm on four mood stabilizers, Zyprexa being one of them, it's absolute shit for your body but I needed it when I was hospitalized. Wellbutrin gave me the worst mood swings of my life.
>>25325007
Also, thank you for that. My shit self-esteem (a result of the ADHD) has me constantly comparing myself to others and harshly judging myself. I can't fix these emotional issues until the chemical ones are fixed. I'm not the patient type.
I do feel like a kid too, worst is that I don't even want to grow up. I'm almost 20 and I just do not want to be....
I fucked up my friendship with a lot of person because I crave attention so much, juat like a kid. But it isn't a thing that's been happening just now, it's always been there. I've always craved attention, pity, appraisal, everything for me and myself only. It's getting hard and it's starting to affect my life.
I havent really done much in my life, I've just been there and I didn't knew what could I do after high school. I have no aspirations, I have no goals. I've always had the most basic ahit gave to me without much effort because ''oh poor me how much i've suffered''
My past is quite sad, yes, it was rough too. No kid should've had to endure what i did. But whatever. I would like to move on.
Be a better me, find myself, go with a phycisian or something but I'm not sure where to start or even why to.
I keep stealing sleeping pills somewhere, to sleep it all off, doesnt feel like little quarters do much and I'd like the whole pills, but then someone might notice.
I'm stubborn, when I'm mad I feel like I'm totally right and that's bullshit. Then I just toeture myself thinking over and over on the problem as more shit starts crashing on me. I'm so ungrateful with everyone in general. I can't really appreciate anyone for long unless they just keep showing me appreciation and/or affection oftenly. Is that a problem?
I just wanna change and be better. I just want my friend back. I just want things to be fine.
>>25325174
>>25325232
No problem.
>Zyprexa
That's fucking harsh. I'm also taking Abilify on top of my other mood stabilizers, and while there's potential for major side effects I lucked out and only got tremors and dizziness. I mean, it sucks ass but it's the lesser evil, compared to how I am off of the medication or when I'm taking a different antipsychotic. It was pretty much impossible for me to make any progress when I was unmedicated, it's very very important to get on the right stuff. The issue is how fucking long it takes, it's not like you can put your life on hold while you get your mental issues taken care of, you have to live with that shit and just hope to God you don't fuck it up too badly. At any rate, here's hoping you can go a little easier on yourself in the future. You seem like a pretty cool dude to me.
original bump for an original thread
Goodnight sweet thread
My biggest personal insecurity is being incapable of talking to people in a way that doesn't make them cringe or cause them to view me in an unappealing way.
>>25323982
I feel the opposite of this. Through my viewpoint, eternity is only how we perceive it, as a result, we've all lived for our own eternity. All of this talk of infinite time really tires me out. I've never been comfortable with my age. I feel beyond old, and I don't see how people my age cannot see things the same way I do, that they somehow haven't come to understand just how much we've all been through, the events that have taken place. It eats away at me. It feels like I'm rusting. I would never kill myself, but In the back of my mind, I almost wish i would die sooner rather than later. I'm just so tired, not physically, not mentally, not emotionally. It's different. Every moment I stand, I want to sit. every moment I sit, I want to lay down. When I lay down, I don't get up unless absolutely necessary.
That's another point, I never do things unless I really need to, and people hate me for that. I can't give 110%. I can hardly give 50. And yet I feel responsible for everything. Every time someone else dies, I die too. Every ounce of pain inflicted on others, I feel it. The weight of the world begs me to collapse. All of this judgement because I'm not old, people can't possibly imagine me understanding because I'm not mature in their eyes.
As I lay here this very moment, I feel my back sinking through my bed, imprinting the shape of my body into the crust of the earth.
I can't even drink yet.
>>25324532
20 same as op, no real reason, i just feel like im running out of time , i enjoy working hard but if i don't have direction i can't work hard at all
I can't stop constantly beating myself up even though I've come a long long way in becoming a happy, stable, adult while being given no tools. I still think I come off as an ass kissing try-hard because I can't set aside my desperate need to be like and be recognized for my hard work and progress.
>>25323982
Related to the pic, every time I watch Wall-E I die a little inside.
I lost 60 lbs, then gained 30 back. I have been trying to lose weight but I have no motivation and am more depressed than ever.
What's more, I hate my penis.
I have always thought that the penis is what makes you as a man, I know rationally it's not true but it's called your manhood and subconsciously I can't help but feel that way.
I feel like mine is small. It's 6.5-7 inches, but it looks so small to me. I don't know if it's just me or not.
Also I'm cut, I wish I wasn't.
>>25329261
do you think we are Wall-E ? are we gonna find our eve's ?
>>25323982
I'm a fembot and I just want my own Chad so i'm no longer /foreveralone/ I hope I don't get stuck with a loser beta
>>25329315
>6.5-7
>small
It better be ugly as fuck mofo, mines 6 at best
>>25329330
No, Wall-E is a better person than I could ever be. He's persistent, social, liked by everyone, and likes himself enough to be okay with living alone for hundreds of years. And, of course, he has an actual personality.
I don't know how to get people to like me how he does. I just don't.
>>25329793
No one will ever care about me like that. There will never be a girl that I know it's meant for me.
>>25329112
>I never do things unless I really need to, and people hate me for that. I can't give 110%. I can hardly give 50. And yet I feel responsible for everything. Every time someone else dies, I die too. Every ounce of pain inflicted on others, I feel it. The weight of the world begs me to collapse.
I'm kinda the same way in this regard. Being really empathetic's a bitch, ain't it? I used to want to change the world and save everybody, build some kind of utopia where everyone could be happy, but there's no changing it. Even if you usurped the corrupt people currently in power, new, similar people would just replace them, and people would still be getting fucked by the new system just like the current one. Those are just the kinds of people who seek and attain power like that. People who don't really care much about others.
Empathetic people, on the other hand, seek perfection and harmony so much in their relationships that it overwhelms them, and they become insecure and inactive because they don't know how to make "everything right".
Well, there is no way to make everyone happy. People are too different. No use getting swallowed up by it though, it's just how things are, how societies function. If everyone were more intelligent and empathetic, maybe it could be different, but people aren't.
My advice? Focus on your own, local community and the people you love and try to make them happy. Build personal, meaningful connections with the real people around you, and don't worry about all the shit happening around the world that you see on TV and the internet. That's not YOUR life; your life is right outside the door, in your neighborhood. Focus on making that local community where you live a better one. Focus on alleviating the pain of people directly around you.
Don't try to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, it's too heavy a load to carry and there's no drop off destination for it anyway, you'll just break your back.
bumpu desu senpaihow in the hell is this not original
>>25324986
Have you considered AA? If you know you have a problem and its impeding you from being with the people you love I would say that's a good start.
>>25325086
All the time. My therapist says she thinks that's my biggest issue
>>25324194
Jesus Christ that picture. That turns the feels on. I'll share the story of how I became a misanthrope, but fair warning, it's edgy.
Disclaimer: I'm 19, what I'm about to describe happened over a year ago.
> 11th grade
> odd-numbered years of high school for some reason we're always better and I always decided to be a better person
> have good year
> am awful person
> no gf
> losing friends gradually
> ignore it because I'm stoned all the time
> lecherous creep, one of those times it actually is something wrong with me that makes girls repulsed by me
> fun year but near the end I realize I'm a shitty person
> binge-watch all of "my name is earl"
> decide to make a list
> cross a bunch of shit off, become good person
> fucking a, let's have a good life
> over summer slip back into lecherous ways
> have small group of friends I hang out with
> starting to wonder if I'd be better off without them
> take a hiatus from them
> 12th grade starts
> gradually reassimilate into old group
> normalfags start infesting it
> one chad I had been friends with Since eighth grade shows up, starts hanging out
> cool, I like this guy
> he's an edgelord and a douchebag who will take any opportunity to build his ego up at the expense of others
> such an autistic that he once sperged out at me for not playing "Skeleton Man" on my phone when we were with the group listening to music
> total reddit memer fag is my point
> anyway
> normalfag girl that one of the guys knows starts hanging out with us
> one day they find an injured rabbit
> we have to mercy-kill it, its injuries are too great
> no vets
> chad wants to cut its head off
> we say no because that will go horribly wrong and make it suffer really bad
> we ended up suffocating it. It lasted 20 seconds and then was still (better than botched decap I stand by)
> still a retarded way, I admit, we should have snapped its neck.
> chad is pissed off over not getting to decapitate the rabbit
> nearing full spergout
> 1/2
>>25324194
>I liked the idea of her rather than the person herself
Thank you so much for posting this. I just got over the idea of someone this past winter break and it was super tough. It sucks when girls like the attention you give em without caring to get any more involved.
>>25332360
> this guy did not give a shit about the rabbit, believe me.
> he wanted edge points for having cut something's head off
> he was smart enough to know that there were better ways to dispatch the rabbit that would have resulted in less edge points
> suffocation was my idea btw, I assumed it would sort of go to sleep and not wake up
> this guy does not direct his sperg rage at me
> he directs it at the normalfag girl, who is the only one of us who really seemed affected by killing the rabbit
> starts berating her, calling her an idiot, saying the rabbits pain was her fault
> next day I'm relating story to a seperate friend
> chad shows up
> asks what we're talking about, I tell him
> "oh yeah, that would have been so much fucking easier without (girl) there"
> I reiterate, if anyone deserved to be raged at for that rabbits pain, it was me
> but I didn't seem too affected I guess, so that wouldn't give him enough edge points.
> "you can't really hold it against her"
> she had been going on about nursing the rabbit back to health and shit like that; typical normalfag girl fashion she fell in love with the bunny and named it
> "I'm holding it against her!"
> maybe you should consider this. From her perspective
> I have, and it's fucking stupid!
> we have a back-and-forth with him repeating, louder and louder, his mantra of "it's fucking stupid"
> I'm trying to reason with him
> finally yells at me to stop
> realize I'll never convince this guy
> simply say "she was emotional"
> "yeah! And that's fucking stupid!"
Now I'm not a white knight. I don't particularly like women and this particular girl I found annoying. But I don't think she really deserved to be the target of sperg rage in this scenario. This guys edginess outweighed any reason to be mad at her in this case. Anyway
> realize this guy is just an edgy fuck
> think back on the years I've known him
> realize he's been nothing but a drain on my happiness
2/3
>>25332584
> Week later, decide to start probing to see if I c an get chad excommunicated from group
> talk to girl
> "what do you really think of chad?"
>" he's awesome. He's a douche -- he's a gym douche, but he's awesome."
> perplexed
> I have never once witnessed chad show her any form of kindness
> lose all faith in women (I'd been losing it for a while, this cinched it)
> talk to make friends
> they take his side
> remember that they're reddit memelords as well
> they think I'm just irrational for not liking chad
> lose all faith in these friends
> stop speaking to chad
> group starts going out and hanging out with normalfags
> don't invite me along, don't even tell me about it
> become full normalfags, I see them only sporadically
> realize normalfags took away my only friends
> small piece of me that was happy to just be a nice person dies
> become bitter, miserable dick
> remember that women are vapid, mindless, submissive morons who will do anything as long as chad wants it or they think he wants it
> men are either reddit fedoras who think that every single problem in their life is caused by women not sleeping with them
> or they're normalfags who act like retards and have women cream over them constantly
> become miserable dick
> suddenly people respect me more
> suddenly girls show interest in me
> just reinforces my hatred of normalfags
> graduate
> never lose v-card
> still live at home
> talk to one person who's not a family member, a guy who I've known since I was four who puts up with my shit for some reason
> happier being a bitter, misanthropic ass than I ever was being nice
having actually typed this story out, I realize I'm an edgey, retarded faggit.
I welcome your hatred. I don't care anymore. I know exactly what I am and I accept it.
Just fuck my shit up, robots.
>>25323982
>be 31
>still feel like a high schooler
>don't know anyone my age
Here's some music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKAoSY5bhSw
I feel like I'm drifting in a stream, desperate to grab a branch overhead.
I had my big project: to get out of the pit that lies between high school and med school. It was hell. But I made it.
My dream is true, yet something is missing. I lack a new project. I've tried to make friends as well as I can, but it has not been easy. I've never been good at adjusting myself to fit the social protocol and I dont think I ever was very social. Making deeper connections feels hard and my approaches towards people seem to richochet off of their shells.
I keep worrying that I'll say or do something stupid when I'm drunk or otherwise in a social situation but it doesn't really matter because I can't control my impulsiveness very well anyway. My whole life has been about learning when to keep my autistic mouth shut. And I still haven't learned.
I know this might contradict the common /r9k/ mentality but hear me out on this. Talking a shit ton does not equal to you being a chad. Quite the opposite in my case. I'm afraid people are talking shit behind my back. I've heard them do it about other people, why not me? I'm not in any specific social circle. I am a drifter.
Where do I find the motivation to start focusing on all the projects I've left hanging?
