I had a heart attack last night, and i realized i don't actually want to die
>>25318514
i threw up a little bit
Earlier this year I had a lung collapse. Same thing happened to me. Realized that I have experienced so little and that suicide is not the way to go. I sat in the hospital bed thinking about how all I do is waste my time on 4chan (which I still do). I have a feeling most of the suicidal posters on this board have never been very close to death, they just romanticize it.
>>25318514
I often have weird heart spasms that feel like cardiac arrests (but actually are just extrasystolic beats).
They are terrifying, but while there I never thought "I don't want to die", just panicked.
The first time it happened, I couldn't sleep for the whole night, and I went back and forth from just wanting to sleep to wanting to die, while sitting on the bed rocking back and forth, trembling.
The second time I was so tired, I just went on trying to fall asleep, and I seriously hoped I wouldn't get to wake up the next day.
>>25318577
>I have a feeling most of the suicidal posters on this board have never been very close to death, they just romanticize it
This, I've noticed people who mention suicide are mostly just attention seeking nihilistic edgelords
>>25318514
i had a realization last night, and decided that i really do want to die.
>>25318514
What in damnation am I looking at here?
I wanted to die, then I had cancer and didn't anymore.
>>25318514
I experienced sleep paralysis last night and let me tell you that shit is scary
>be me last night
>me and gf in bed
>watching based david attenborough sea doc
>shes on the ipad, im resing my head on her chest, shes using my head as an ipad rest
> i start to drift off
> im not asleep, but im dreaming
>holyshitisthisluciddreaming.jpg
> im fucking fighting shrek
>eventually we become mates
>sit down and start having bants
>apparently out loud i was laughing like a mad man, shrieking every now and then
>gf is scared
>shes shaking me to wake me up
>it works, shes asking what the fuck that was
>i try to tell her it was a lucid dream
>nothing comes out
>she asks again
>nothing
>im looking right at her and shes panicking now
>shes asking why im not replying
>thats when it happens
>i go to shout "im fine"
>that isnt what comes out
>demonic fucking raptor screech
>what the fuck
i snapped out of it after she jumped up but i still don't fucking know what it was
bonus: i also asked her in my sleep if shrek had layers of witty banter like an onion
also what did you see or dont you remember?
>>25318689
I had like 3-4 near misses with death. Still want to die. I'm terrified of heart attacks/seizures/lung collapses not because they'll kill me but because they'll leave me incapacitated or some such.
>>25318514
Nice blog post, fuckboi
>>25318514
How old are you op?
How'd you have a heart attack?
>>25318689
Don't know. When I was young I was almost crushed under a tractor that overturned on me. Also I was pretty close to getting run over by a train few times. But I had no serious injuries, so I guess that's not good enough.
>>25318897
Fat. Not old.
