Can I call you guys my online friends? My parents have been bugging me about not going out and socializing like "normal" people do, but I told them I talk to cool people online already
We must meet your parents first. Invite them to this thread and we'll see if we want to be friends with you.
Interacting with people on 4chan is different from interacting with them through other channels or even face-to-face.
Don't rely on 4chan, especially /r9k/, alone for social interaction. It destroys you, and makes you an awkward cynic.