why do people become worse when they gain confidence?
why do all the kids who had terrible acne and social problems and no self-esteem become self-important assholes when they mature?
i miss the purity of it all
why didnt i ever change like that?
>>25306373
do they actually become worse people, or am i just upset that i never changed or matured or found confidence or whatever?
>>25306373
It took me a while to realize this, but what modern society deems as "confidence" is actually dressed up arrogance. I was confused about this for the longest time and I have no idea why it took me so long to reach this conclusion when everything about society is just one fucked up lie after another.
>>25306513
everyone is pushing the "love yourself" thing so hard and i dont get it. it's just replacing insecurities with narcissism and that cant be good for anybody involved
why shouldnt i hate myself if im fat or have weird hair or some shit? shouldn't i want to improve myself or something like that?
>>25306587
People are incredibly narcissistic these days, but don't let that scare you off from loving yourself. Don't waste energy hating yourself, use that energy to better yourself and fix your faults.
The main problem in our society is that the elites use divide and conquer tactics to control us. They push shit that's so ridiculously stupid, that people who aren't dumb enough to fall for it end up doing something that's just as dumb on the other end of the spectrum to rebel against it, putting them on the opposite side of the same damn coin.
>>25306513
What would you consider legitimate confidence?
>>25306795
i dont really know. maybe it's because i havent gone out much since i graduated, but i dont think ive ever met a person that i would consider confident but not arrogant or narcissistic.
what would you consider legitimate confidence?
>>25306795
>>25306910
Confidence is something you feel internally, not something external that you show off and present to the world (literally arrogance), like so many people make it out to be.
>>25306513
>>25306587
>thinking that confidence requires narcissism or arrogance.
I understand why you think this
You're used to comparing yourselves to other people and using that comparison as the basis of your confidence. You believe that you have to be better than other people in order to have the right to be confident. You fear someone calling you out and putting you down if you try to fake it... because that does seem to happen when you get bullied in school.
In order for confidence to make sense when you think like this, you assume that other people arrive at confidence by believing that they are better than those around them. Engaging in narcissism or wilful self-delusion.
I suffered from lack of self esteem and confidence for 25 years. The biggest thing that helped me develop confidence was to remove this underlying assumption that confidence requires you to be better than others.
Its true that you can have confidence like that, but its always going to be situational, and depends entirely on you not meeting anyone who is better off than you are. A good example of this might be a fast food manager who is all alpha dog at work, but as soon as he goes anywhere else he's a timid little mouse.
The truth is that confidence and happiness is not supposed to be a state that you rationalize yourself into, confidence should be your default resting state. The act of trying to compare yourself to others actually removes you from this default state.
The idea that you and everyone else deserves to be happy and confident doesn't require any form of delusion to function, and it doesn't give rise to the douchy over-compensating situational confidence that >>25306373 mentioned.
Give it a try. Thinking about it in this way helped me a lot.
>Roastie doesn't have any more beta orbiters.
>>25307634
This mindset is exactly why people think being arrogant is the same as being confident. Confidence should always be conditional. You should only be confident when you actually have the skills or qualities for a given situation. You don't have to think you're better than everyone, just competent enough to get the task done. If you're not, you should recognize that fact and step down from whatever position you're in.
People are too quick to label something "narcissism" ... Being a narc is when you're delusionally confident. People with low self confidence have themselves as their baseline and might be more prone to form 'excuses' for their behavior... like judging others harshly for supposedly being narcissistic or arrogant. Lots of people with low self confidence are actually narcissistic AF. These excuses make it easier to accept their own worldviews.
>>25306373
No one is leaving you in the dirt, anon
Instead of thinking that they moved to a better place, think of it this way; you're all in a ditch of shit, and the guys with confidence are the ones who made themselves tools to try and get everyone out
>>25308058
I think you're nitpicking over semantics.Confidence in a skill or ability vs confidence in yourself, self esteem, or whatever term you want to pick.
