I'm straight and was considering going to one just for the experience. Are they any good ?
>>25305114
They are horrible.
The BDSM community is part of the rainbow community. So all the women there will be feminist tumblrinas who will remind you that trans*women are real women, so if you're straight you're also into cock because you're not transphobic, right?
So yeah, it's basically tumblrinas who want to find their personal Christian Grey. But who must also be a feminist. And take charge and be super dominant, aggressive and assertive.
But also seek "enthusiastic consent" before he touches any body part of the girl.
tl;dr: I hate BDSM munches just as much as I hate tumblr by now.
>>25305196
I mean I deal with political stuff on a daily basis it is part of what I do is it possible to just talk about normal everday stuff to these people ?
>>25305196
>acts like he knows shit about BDSM
>isn't enthusiastic about enthusiastic consent
The emphasis and focus on consent in the community is good for everyone involved.
>>25305263
>is it possible to just talk about normal everday stuff to these people ?
Yes, with some people.
But well yeah, in my experience it's either tumblr and/or people who have turned BDSM into a religion and then discuss the "right" and the "wrong" things to do this or that. A "real" Master would, a "real" Mistress would and so on.
But just try out yourself. Maybe you'll have more luck where you wanna go. I was in Hamburg and Berlin, nowhere else.
>>25305285
>>isn't enthusiastic about enthusiastic consent
"Enthusiastic consent" is a shit SJW concept right out of tumblr and a huge turn off: literally asking and begging before every single fucking step and never being able to actually take charge.
Fuck off, roastie.
>>25305341
>>25305341
TBF I was advised before that if you are to play with someone in this way you sit down and have a really detailed talk, then you have the green light to take charge.
(PIC related)
>>25305459
>then you have the green light to take charge.
That's not the same as "enthusiastic consent" tho.
The latter basically implies a detailed talk before every single thing you do. Slap you. Now I'd like to leash you, may I? Now I'd like to cage you, may I? Now I'd like to take you out, may I? Now I'd like you to suck my cock, may I?
It's a huge turn off - both for men and for women. That's why lesbianic feminists like it so much.
>>25305508
I suppose ignore those people
>>25305341
Enjoy getting charged with rape, you fucking retard.
You give the community a bad name.
>>25305652
I meant as in ignore (avoid) those people and socialise with other people instead. My bad out of context.
>>25305652
See, Anon - these are the kind of BDSM tumblrinas I was referring to.
>Muh rape culture!
Daily reminder that the kind of "power" you have in BDSM doesn't mean shit in the grand scheme of things, I guess.
>>25305718
>Daily reminder that the kind of "power" you have in BDSM doesn't mean shit in the grand scheme of things, I guess.
that's exactly how it's supposed to be
OP please don't listen to this person's advice. If they are actually involved in the community they are the kind of person who would be actively shunned.
The motto is "Safe, Sane, and Consensual" and I wouldn't trust this anon to do any one of those.
>>25305799
Yeah well i'm literally only starting out and i'm a straight guy so i know to be careful about consent (as well as keep my mouth shut about tumblr related shit). Like if i was to tie up a girl I would ask her permission and what way it would benefit both of us.
It's mostly older couples looking to reinvigorate their sex lives, fairly euphoric role-players of both genders, and a handful of hot ass women who are perpetually frustrated because they have to turn to an underground community to scratch an itch that society frowns and trying to separate wheat from chaff in the BDSM community sucks.
Also, subs almost always get cold feet before going through with experimenting with kink.
>>25305799
>that's exactly how it's supposed to be
Which is why the BDSM community is shit and, like I said, part of the rainbow community by now.
We need a proper patriarchy and put women back in their place. Not some tumblrinas who just need some BDSM as compensation - and boss a man that has to live in a misandrist society around, order him to pretend having power: topping from the bottom. Disgusting.
>>25305867
Pretty much. A lot of the community don't have anything to do with tumblr or anything like that but consent and safety are so important that I can't even put it into words.
What you described earlier about sitting down and talking it out with someone is perfect. That's what most people do. You talk through things you like and you talk through things you don't like and figure out what's going to happen. Sometimes it's a little bit like writing a script, though I've never actually put things out on paper.
Safe words are always important. Aftercare too.
People act like it disrupts the flow of a scene to check in with your partner and make sure that he/she is still okay but it's honestly a good thing to do and it's so fast and easy. It's really really easy to just ask things like, "Do you like being fucked this hard?" in a commanding tone and then you can get an honest answer from her to tell you whether you should consider adjusting yourself.
Ok but what are they actually like ?
>>25306422
Depends on where they're set. Usually the ones in my area are at a sex shop, so it's a sex shop atmosphere. The people who put them together usually have a stick up their ass about being "important in the community", and they usually acknowledge regulars before anyone else. It can be a bit cliquish and self-referential.
>>25306482
The one i'm going to is at a bar in the city. Apparently they introduce us and seat us so that we mix well
>>25306545
Little bit more organized than the ones here then.
>me llamo juan
>>25306422
Depends on who sets it up and where its at. Like a local group here does picnic type stuff where everyone is invited, but there are hard rules about behavior. They use it as a place to meet others, ask questions, and discuss things about BDSM and its community. Any kind of play or touching requires consent and anybody who comes off as predatory is asked to leave and if they dont, the 80 year old leather daddy grabs the shotgun out of his truck.
