>Be me
>Fat black kid at the time, transfer school cause of bullying
>Dad dies, we move houses
>Gay dad, was adopted
>Move to nice new neighborhood, no people my age, but whatever
>River rock landscaping spread in front of lawn, taking up a lot of space
>Dad makes me shovel rock
>prisonlabor.avi
>First day moved in, girl and her mom show up
>Welcome us to neighborhood, etc
>Eyes focus on girl
>qt3.14, probably a 7/10
>Way out of my league
>She invites me to go swimming at her place(Her house in in front of a lake)
>Her house is just a few blocks away from mine, say I'll go
>Ditch work and shower and get ready
>Not obese, but overweight enough that I'm super fucking uncomfortable with my body
>Go to her house, she has a few friends over
>Both girls, one of them is a mixed black girl, same age as her, and her little sister, who was 10
>mfw I forgot that swimming meant girls in bikinis
>Get in water, play games like tag in water
>Meaning I would have to touch her
>fuckyes.jpg
>Everytime I'm it, I go for her
>Instead of just touching her, I wrap my arms around her
>Hard as diamonds, don't think she notices
Fast forward a few weeks
>So she's over at my place with a few of her friends, we're playing truth or dare
>Her friend has been always talking about some thing called "birthday" around me, obviously some code for something
>One of the question gets asked, "Who would you date in this room
>Zoe says me
>mytimeisnow.gif
>Of course, she only said that because the room was full of girls, but whatever
>Eventually, things escalate and we start sort of dating
>We haven't kissed or anything, but held hands and cuddled
>I hadn't even really had many friends before, this was a big step for me
>Her mom lets me take care of the dogs when they go out on trips and stuff, get payed $200 for a week
>Zoe stops talking to me for some reason, I come to her house and her mom says she's not home
>Start getting really paranoid, thinking that she hates me
cont.

>>25299825
>Who else /socialanxiety/ here?

It ruined my life.

Learn how to code malware and sell it to kids on the internet, never have to leave your house.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCIKdjVooQ0

cont.
>Start leaving notes in her bedroom, talking about how much I miss her, things that are really creepy in retrospect
>No replies from her
>Did this maybe 5 times, was really desperate
>Send her long email pouring out my heart
>Autistic me didn't realize that her school monitors the emails
>fuckinghellno.mov
>Talked about how I wanted to kill myself
>Parents read email, so do hers
>She still doesn't reply
I fucking miss her so much guys and it's been years

TL;DR:
Met grill for first time
Fucked it up in less than a week due to being paranoid because she didn't talk to me for like a week

I don't have social anxiety, I'm just really confused and unmotivated all the time.. ._.