>be me, decide to live the criminal life >going to department

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Anonymous
2015-12-27 12:17:51 Post No. 25285135
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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:17:51 Post No. 25285135 [Report]

>be me, decide to live the criminal life
>going to department store to shoplift
>want to know what it feels like breaking the law so I look to steal any random item
>looking around, browse flashlights to not look suspicious
>decide to steal a $5 flashlight and put it in my pocket
>see employee coming towards me
>panic
>think he saw me shoplift and want to search me
>quickly shove the flashlight up my ass
>it feels cold and hurts so much but I shove it right in to not get caught
>he approaches me and says "do you need any help choosing?"
>walk out of store with a free flashlight

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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:20:02 Post No.25285153
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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:20:02 Post No.25285153 [Report]

What ghetto store has flashlights not in packages sitting on shelves?

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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:20:47 Post No.25285166
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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:20:47 Post No.25285166 [Report]

>>25285135
Wanna know how I know this story is bullshit?

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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:22:24 Post No.25285182
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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:22:24 Post No.25285182 [Report]

>>25285135
so instead of leaving the flashligh back on the shelves you shove it up your ass so you don't get caught stealing? what an idiot. literally kill yourself

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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:24:07 Post No.25285203
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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:24:07 Post No.25285203 [Report]

>>25285166
Because nobody in a department store asks you if you need help?

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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:24:18 Post No.25285205
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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:24:18 Post No.25285205 [Report]

Stealing from large chains isn't a crime.
Employees don't care, and police aren't going to waste their time investigating a non occurrence.

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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:27:02 Post No.25285225
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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:27:02 Post No.25285225 [Report]

>>25285166
yes, please explain senpai

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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:28:20 Post No.25285239
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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:28:20 Post No.25285239 [Report]

You shoved the flashlight as you saw them coming towards you even though it was in your pocket?

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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:39:39 Post No.25285365
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Anonymous 2015-12-27 12:39:39 Post No.25285365 [Report]

>>25285225
You can't shove the flashlight into your ass if it's in your pocket.