>"ANON! Chad is gunna be hear in five minutes....DONT JUST STAND THEY'RE! Hurry up and get you're face back their too get me ready four him!"
>>25279416
>but i'm supposed to prep the bull honey
it's "minites" retards
>>25279416
>THEY'RE!
>you're
>their
>too
>four
Thanks I nearly had a stroke reading that.
>>25279430
>not having you're gf bee the bull
>>25279430
*snorts air from nose in laughter*
>shakes head while chuckling
>downs my glass of '84 scotch
>ashes cigar
Yeah right bitch
>walks out door and grabs coat off the rack and puts it on
>grabs hat off the rack
>Pauses for a second in the doorway, but doesn't look back
>shakes head and chuckles again
>closes door gently behind me
>>"ANON! Chad is gunna be hear in five minutes....DONT JUST STAND THEY'RE! Hurry up and get you're face back their too get me ready four him!"
not
>>"@|\|0|\|! C|-|@d !$ g|_||\||\|@ b3 h3@r !|\| |=!v3 /\/\!|\|u+3$....D0|\|+ J|_|$+ $+@|\|D +|-|3Y'R3! |-||_|rry |_|p @|\|d g3+ y0|_|'r3 |=@c3 b@c|< +|_|3!r +00 g3+ /\/\3 r3@dy |=0|_|r |-|!/\/\!"
>>25279509
>thats nice honey now go get the camcorder for Chad so he can have a home movie of you masturbating in the closet with tears in your eyes
>>25279509
>not spreading her clit open with your fingers and tonge punching the shit out of her cunt
>>25279661
>>25279665
Haha
>walks down the stairs of the hotel
>slaps scully maid named Ginny that I've had a few... Rendezvous with in the past on her fat ass
>she yells at me but smiles about it
>pull my gloves on
>step downstairs and into the restaurant and take a seat at the bar
>the bartender, Lawrence, asks
The usual sir?
>I nod and he pours me and '84 scotch
>I look around the bar
>a hot number I haven't seen before is sitting at a table alone
>a girl who I've had the pleasure of... Meeting... Is sitting at the other end of the bar trying to catch my eye
>yes, today was going to be a okay
>>25279746
>>25279509
stop trying to make Scotch seem fedora
Scotch and whiskey are literally the patricians choice of alcohol
>>25279906
You thought I'd end up with those girls in the bar huh?
>leave a tip for Lawrence
>tip my hat to him as I get up and go to the back room
>a band is playing
>I sit down at a gambling table
>an old cat I knew from the war is there
>also a famous ex pilot, and another man I don't know wearing circle sunglasses
you mind if I join you?
>they all say it's fine
>smoke and drink with them for a few hours
>girls in lingerie that's barely more than their birthday suits are dancing and leaning on well dressed arms all around
>the police chief is waving around a bottle and pops it open, a fine champagne
>we all cheers and he pours us a glass
How's the misses?
>I say to him. He breaks out into laughter and kisses a blonde under his arm on the cheek and tips his glass towards me
>the lounge singer comes off the stage and drapes her arms over me
>it's just me and the man with the circle glasses left, chips piling on the table
>the whole crowd is watching, wondering what cards we both have
To be continued
>>25280002
I seriously can't tell if this is cringe or bad ass noire detective story telling
>>25280032
>the man with the circle glasses reveals his cards, four kings and an ace
>just then, brown coats break down the door and star shooting
>I dive back, pulling the lounge singer, Daisy, back with me
>can tell she is soaking wet just from hanging on me, and now the excitement is pushing her to her limit
>the man in the circle glasses dives a different direction and says
We'll finish our duel later
>I never got his name
>the police chief shouts for me and daisy, he's holding open a secret door
>me and Daisy take the hidden back exit
must be Berelini's boys, starting trouble. Just like the war eh?
>he says to me, brandishing his weapon
>Daisy holds on to me and says
I'm scared
>all of us get into a big black car the police chief had waiting
>inside is the mayor, a bodyguard, now joined by me, Daisy, the police chief, and two blond girls in red underwear, Minnie and Pattie
>we speed off into the hills
>the police chief says
Mayor, where are you taking us?
>to which the mayor responds, pouring a glass of some of the good stuff
The actress Laura Steele is having a birthday party up in the hills
>this should be interesting
>out the window, I see the man in the circle glasses rounding the corner of the hotel, and our eyes meet
>I can't tell what color they are
Are you okay?
>Daisy asks
Tbc(?)
>>25279628
1337.
The robot found my post low in content, please disregard this message.
>>25279628
Is this literal moon runes.
>>25280357
Newfag fucking disappeare
>>25279746
>>25280002
>>25280291
We are reaching levels of neckbeard that should not be possible.
>>25279416
>.DONT JUST STAND THEY'RE! Hurry up and get you're face back their too get me ready four him!
>>25279416
You know who will never cuck you?
Jets.
Jets are always loyal.
>>25281105
Nice picture but this is a Tumblr-tier meme tbqh anon
CUT MY LIFE INTO PEICES
THICK
>gunna
>hear
>4 periods
>DONT
>THEY'RE
>you're
>their
>too
>four
I can't stop laughing at this. OP is a genius.
>>25281144
>tfw I have actual mechanophilia
I'd have what I call sex with an F-14 before I fuck a roasty any day
>>25281254
THIS IS MY LAAST RESORT
>>25281329
>mfw i am sitting kind of like that right now
Fuck
>>25281351
Is it between 1st and 2nd hour though?
Hahahah the fucking kid has the courtesy to pull his feet back a little
Fuck
>tfw no blonde-haired white gf who likes to smother your face with her huge fleshy buttcheeks and giggle after asking you to lick her butthole
I had this once. I knew happiness just long enough so that I could know suffering once it was gone.
>>25281254
>>25281329
After a while you think you would develop a tolerance towards cringe. No, the hurt never stops
>>25281399
you have to learn how to die if you wanna wanna be alive
>>25281441
>Sonic '06
Top kek
>>25279451
Same. I can't fucking understand that last sentence.
>>25281329
I wish I could be this autistic. It must be so amazing to just not care about normies hating you for mildly inconveniencing them.
Olivia Jensen's ass, man.
