Fucking shit. I fucked up big time robots.
Not only am I fucked today I might be fucked for a very long time.
This is the last time I'm ever doing that ever again.
This all started yesterday at Christmas. My entire family likes to pile into our small cramped front room on holidays and yesterday was no different. Me and my mom and pops open our gifts the night before the commotion that is Christmas day. I will get to what we received later.
Fast forward to Christmas Day.
My whole family which includes about 20 people where of course all cramped together opening their gifts.
I peek over and see my step-cousin who just turned 18 in the corner opening a box and I seen that she had received some underwear panties and some socks or what ever.
I see her quickly put the underwear back into her box. She resumes opening the rest of her boxes. Later on in the day everyone was outside playing with the youngsters and others in the kitchen.
I sneak over and grab open the box of my cousins present and snatched 2 pairs of her underwear and stuff them into my jacket pocket.
I continue as normal the rest of the day until its time for my family to leave. My fucking cousin then starts saying that her new underwear is missing. I'm shitting my pants at this point. After about 5 minutes they give up looking and just leave.
I think I'm outa the woods now and continue the rest of night then I go to bed. I get woken up out of a dead sleep in the morning by my dad. He's Screaming at me saying I can't believe you would do something like this anon.
COME TO FIND OUT THAT MY FUCKING DAD RECEIVED SOME TYPE OF FUCKING MINI VIDEO RECORDER FOR CHRISTMAS THE NIGHT BEFORE AND HE SET IT UP IN THE FRONT ROOM TO RECORD CHRISTMAS WITH THE FAMILY AND HE WENT BACK AND SEEN ME STEALING THE UNDERWEAR.
He stormed out of the room and I've been scared to leave since. What should I robots, I'm really scared.
>>25267065
mini video recorder sounds more like a spy camera. fucking kill him.
motherfucking shit
>>25267065
Show us the panties?
>>25267065
>I sneak over and grab open the box of my cousins present and snatched 2 pairs of her underwear and stuff them into my jacket pocket.
Why would you do this tho ?
why did you steal the panties? Were you going to wear them?
>anon is a shameless thief and pervert
>gets exactly what he deserves
There's nothing better than seeing retards getting blown the fuck out
>>25267153
I left them in my jacket pocket on the floor in my room and when my dad came busting in my room he picked it up and grabbed them out So I have about zero deniability
why did you steal her underwear
>>25267184
This.
I mean it's not like she wore them or anything. Definitely not worth the risk and you're a complete retard, OP.
>>25267065
>Grabs unworn panties
You suck at being a degenerate. You steal the WORN panties.
Also just tell your Dad you want to be a trap. That way you cover your bases for being into incest.
Just admit you were gonna have a cheeky wank in them m8
Just pretend you're a conservative and say she's too young to be wearing those kinds of panties and you're trying to protect her dignity. Stop being stupid.
Was it a GoPro?
Oh shit robot.
Here's what you gonna do.
You say sorry to your dad. But not because you are a creep that want to masturbate on those panties while you stare at her pictures.
No, instead, say that you thought you saw some designer logo on the panties. Some brand whose lingeries are worth hundreds of dollar. Say that you stole those shit with the intent of selling it online.
Then you realised that you saw wrongly, and its just cheap ass stuff. You wanted to return it, but once people started searching for it, you became too scared, since people might find you suspicious. So you leave the matter. After all, its just a cheap pair of panties aren't it?
You really do suck at being a degenerate, OP. Just say you wanted to wear them or some bullshit just make it believable, but never admit that you want to fuck a family member. That is what is going through your dad's head right now and why he is so fucking mad. He is also rightfully mad, you fucking retard.
She didn't wear the panties? Why even bother stealing them?
>>25267251
>>25267257
>>25267348
Ok I just went down into my front room and my dad and mom plus my sisters were watching the video on our big screen and as I walked around the corner I heard them yell anon get out hear now. I sat down and my mom was crying and I tried to tell them that I just wanted to sell them ect but it was hard for them to hear over my mom sobbing crying and my sisters making rude comments and then my dad told me to go back upstairs and wait till my aunt and cousin get here.
I'm going to try to tell them that I was going to sell them and I hope they listen to me and don't just start screaming in my face
>>25267348
This is good, do this OP.
>>25267348
what the fuck this is retarded
"sorry, i just wanted to steal my cousin's christmas present and pawn it off"
Can't be worst than having your dad find all the jerk socks under your bed and throwing them out, right?
>>25267535
Fuck me, I'm not a professional problem solver. This is the only solution I can give in OP situation.
I mean, lingeries can go for pretty high right? I don't know the brands.. Victoria Secret or some high class shit?
Anyway OP can just say he needs the money to buy some shit, I don't know maybe a new computer or something.
>>25267582
There's no way out for OP here. He did an unacceptable perverted thing and now he can suffer the consequences.
>>25267510
Good job op. How soon until you get kicked out?
>tfw OP gets kicked out and ends up on the street
OP PRETEND TO BE A DRUG ADDICT, A JUNKIE
TRUST ME OP SAY YOU NEEDED MONEY TO BUY YOUR DRUGS AND YOU STARTED DOING DRUGS BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT MADE YOU FEEL HAPPY
SAY THAT EVERY TEAM YOU LEAVE HOME IS JUST TO FIND DRUGS AND SHOWS SHITTY THING YOU'VE DONE ON THE INTERNET TO MADE MONEY FOR DRUGS
THEY WILL FILL GUILTY FOR YOU AND FORGIVE AND HELP YOU
btw why the fuck did you stole her underwear? wtf was in your mind
Your dad will probably just say that they found them behind the couch or some shit. He won't admit to what you did as it will probably be more embarrassing for him than you.
>>25267645
Drug problem is the only way bro... Don't paint yourself into a corner though make sure you say you're addicted to amphetamines because those clear out your system in ~4 days so they cant pee test you
Can you play guitar op? You might want to sharpen your skills when you'll be playing for scraps of food on the street
>>25267726
that was indeed very funny! thank you for being a such hilarious guy, well meme'd my dear friend!
>>25267065
steal some money and pack a bag op
do you know how to gta?
ur story is so full of shit, show the panties bitch
>>25267548
My mum finds these all the time (except I use old shitty t shirts).
Never spoke of it. I'm now 25 and whenever I'm home for extended periods it keeps happening - I go out, come back, she's decided to make my bed and clean up my room. And the wank shirts are gone.
It terrifies me to this day
I am laughing at your suffering HAHAHA i fucking love people on this kind of situations
Say you're a klepto and they are for your girlfriend
I think we lost OP.
>not living your life as if you're being recorded by spy cams all the time
You do know being paranoid is a good thing, right? My, my, I've never been in a fiasco like this, or even a number of degrees less than this. Good job stealing some shit for nothing.
>not buying girls underwear at the store
>2016
>>25267622
This has to be one of the best PEPE images that I could see in the longest of long time, for this il share my personal favorite
>>25267510
Leave out the window. When your aunt and cousin get there, they will all go on the offense and you will be seen as a monster forever. If you leave without telling anyone, they will pity you and maybe you can be redeemed. For added effect, leave a note. Say something like "I wasn't able to resist Satan's temptation this time, and I am leaving before I can cause further harm to my beloved family. Love you all." This is your only chance.
Oh I am emitting a very original laugh right now
![1447784993754[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/AK6puvd.jpg "1447784993754[1].jpg")
K... keep me postd.
You stupid fucking nigger
>>25267645
>>25267723
These. It'll help if especially they look expensive/are a certain brand which will probably be the case for a present, rather than a cheap walmart pack.
Just say you've been selling all kinds of random items over the internet, and you thought that these would have gone by inconspicuous, it was a lapse in judgement and you were desperate.
Better to be branded a druggy who can then get clean and lead a good life than having the permanent branded stamp of pervert.
Op here
Ok this is what just happened.
I hear my dad call me downstairs and as soon as I teach the bottom step my aunt whips around the corner and slaps me. She started saying Fuck you anon you a pervert and that I'm a terrible person. She started hyperventilating from screaming so she went outside.
My cousin came up to me and she said something like wow anon I guess you really wanted my panties. She was half smirking but she didn't seem all that pissed.
I go back upstairs and my dad is waiting for me outside my door. I start to tell him that I was only going to sell them ect ect. He stops me mid sentence and said "anon I don't want hear why you stole them but just promise me to never do anything like this ever again and I will try to calm down aunt C. I say ok and that I'm sorry.
I hope this is the last that they will bring it up and hopefully it all clears up by next Christmas
>>25268466
Your cousin wants the D fammy,
>>25268466
>My cousin came up to me and she said something like wow anon I guess you really wanted my panties. She was half smirking but she didn't seem all that pissed.
holy shit
in your darkest hour, the light shines brightly through another door
>>25268466
Kek'd pretty hard
You can't deny you're a pervert bud
>>25268466
It'll take more than a year at this point, sadly. It'll fade out of their minds, but they won't forget. I would just avoid seeing them in the future, they wouldn't want you around anyway.
>>25268466
You're an idiot. An idiot who happens to have uncontrollable bouts of incestual depravity. I hope your family shuns you for the degenerate that you are.
>>25267065
Sorry, anon. I can't read greentext stories that are not in greentext.
>>25268466
Inb4 cousin starts flirting with you just to fuck with your head
>>25268466
FAKE story
this post gave me second-hand anxiety.
Fake and gay.
No one will believe this shit.
>>25268466
buy her a dildo for christmas next year to show you're sorrrrrry
>>25268643
Maybe you shouldn't steal panties
for one thing OP dun goofd goofed, we all know that
but your whole family definitely went batshit about a pretty dumb issue.
What a bunch of suckers
>>25267510
>my mom sobbing
Why are bitches always crying? STFU you hormonal cunt.
Who the fuck steals clean panties that have never even been worn? What's the fucking point?
2/10.
The panties weren't even worn. No one would get this upset over unworn panties being stolen.
>>25267995
>Say you're a klepto and they are for your girlfriend
Girlfriend on /r9k/?
>>25268466
leave and never look back anon
start a new life
>>25268466
>my aunt whips around the corner and slaps me. She started saying Fuck you anon you a pervert and that I'm a terrible person. She started hyperventilating from screaming so she went outside.
What a dumb whore, you should have punched her in the uterus.
>>25268466
>My cousin came up to me and she said something like wow anon I guess you really wanted my panties. She was half smirking but she didn't seem all that pissed.
She wants your D in her V, m8.
So you stole new, unused panties? Why?
That's what you get you sad cuck piece of shit.
>Can't even control yourself around family.
>>25268911
Because OP is a fag
Kek op imagine how awkward next Christmas is going to be
>>25269582
They'll probably get him a pack of panties as a gag gift.
this is nothing, ive been in way way worse situations
>>25270704
you can't just say that and NOT share anon.
