Is anyone just numb here?
And I don't mean that edgy bullshit numb where you hide your feelings because you want to be different or feel like "christmas is overrated"
I mean actually dead inside. There's nothing left for you and no reason to live.
Absolutely. I'm constantly in search of reasons to not kill myself.
>>25261408
Yes. Except at some point you have to decide. Either keep putting food in your mouth (and work for it) or die. I said I was going to postpone that decision until I'm 33.
i dont have anything to live for
Is equanimity a problem for you?
Is there any logical reason that assisted suicide isn't a thing yet? Cleary there's a demand for it.
>>25261451
for some reason there is something about being 30 something as opposed to the 20 something we are now that makes this situation even more real and daunting.
At that point something will have to give, because being an old wrecked 40 year old is not on my list of things I'd like to experience in life.
>>25261408
Yes. Here's a really relevant quote some anon posted in a thread a few days ago:
"After a while you feel and you feel and you feel but then one day it just stops. It all stops and you cant feel anymore. Some might say thats a good thing, cause you cant feel the bad shit, but you cant feel the good shit either, not that there was much good shit to begin with"
>>25261461
>>25261462
>>25261481
samefag familio
>>25261462
I'm finding it uncomfortable that I cannot find a place or go in the direction as I thought I should have. All of this seems so obtainable, yet equally as unobtainable at the same time. It confuses me and leaves me in a limbo of sorts. But time does not stop and does not wait on you. The hammer will fall whether you are good, bad, wicked or noble, you cannot really decide.
I know now that if there is anything I can do, it is not to move. That's the only move I feel like making.
>>25261536
It's like battle with yourself and the world. Part of yourself wants to kill you. Another wants you to live and figure that shit out. Another is just innocent and afraid.
I know this was is happening to me and it scares me because for a long time I tried to believe and fool myself into being happy, so I can experience the good in the world, but that only goes so far. It only gets you so far. I can't find an answer to this. And I know once I let up the only remnant of hope I have, I don't know how I'll live with myself. How I can accept that as my last dying moments on this planet. But it seems as if that is all there is.
>>25261556
You shut your fucking mouth when you're talking to me.
>>25261408
I don't feel sad, angry or fearful anymore. I just feel nothing. It makes me feel invincible in some ways, because I just don't give a fuck anymore.
>>25261408
>Is anyone just numb here?
>I mean actually dead inside. There's nothing left for you and no reason to live.
Yes, and I still take care of myself (healthy), but pretty much everything I do gives me zero enjoyment anymore. The only thing I have ever truly enjoyed is drawing and I currently need a pencil that I cannot afford.
>>25261408
Yes. If I didn't believe in our lord and saviour Jesus Christ, I'd have killed myself already, or at least tried.
My only purpose on this earth now is to try and serve mankind and wait for a hopefully painless and honorable death.
I hate people who can't follow through on their own desires more than people who are just edgy
