>got a backpage hooker on tuesday
>9/10 qt for $300
>practically fall in love with her
>asked her to spend Christmas with me
>asks me how much money will I spend
>tell her $500 if she comes to a family christmas party for 2 hours and pretends to be my gf
>she accepts
>be today
>she shows up in Christmas attire looking extra qt
>doesn't look like a prostitute at all
>introduce her to everyone at the party
>long story short she gets really drunk
>her "ghetto" lingo kept getting stronger the drunker she got
>she goes into the bathroom to use her cell phone
>shes talking to someone over time and prices
>holy shit she's about to blow my cover
>I talk loud to other relatives to override her hooker talk
>that one moment of silence all you hear is "if he got blow then I'll work with that"
>I instantly lock eyes with my aunt
>she heard it
>God damn it
Never again /r9k/. Please learn from my mistakes.
>>25250189
>I talk loud to other relatives to override her hooker talk
>that one moment of silence all you hear is "if he got blow then I'll work with that"
>I instantly lock eyes with my aunt
God dammit bro were you THAT desperate?
>>25250189
i thought this was gonna be some work xmas party. why bring a hooker to your family? thats moronic, and the risk of getting found out is pretty high
>>25250280
I'm 26 and never had a gf to show my family, I think they were starting to think I was either gay or just an ultimate sperg
It sounded like a good idea at the time
>>25250189
don't pay her then, you beta cuck
>>25250189
RUINED the whole plan
so do you even have to pay for that? She failed on her end of the bargain.
>>25250353
I didn't think it through man. Believe me I'm regretting it now.
>>25250389
Posta pic of her or her bp ad
I hope you didn't pay her, you fucking retard.
>>25250388
We still had sex so I didn't even try fighting it with her. I think she was on pills too because she was acting like she couldn't remember doing it.
>>25250189
AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
>>25250389
Did anyone say anything at the party? Maybe you are imagining it? Unless she was so loud everyone could hear.
You could try to do something like say you broke up with her because she was cheating on you, or you found out she was doing drugs, or something like that, to try to save face and create some plausible denial.
>>25250189
Post picop is full of shit robot
>>25250189
At least you didn't eat her out.
>>25250493
Well my aunt is really classy and when she heard that I could tell by her face she knew it was dirty. Plus I bet my eyes were wide and terrified making me look even more guilty.
I'll probably just tell them I made a mistake dating a girl who was addicted to drugs and we had to break up. Probably my best way to save face.
>>25250566
In b4 he did.
>>25250638
You could say you found out she was a drug addict and dumped her, because you've gone through that with another girl and dont want to repeat the painful experience. e.g. implying you've had other relationships in the past
Nice story bro. Anyway if true, you should have your money back and maybe a few times sex on top of that.
>>25250685
Not, OP. But I did.
These next 3 months are going to be Hell.
>>25250418
Pic related
>>25250566
Guilty
>>25250826
>getting money back
>from a hooker
>getting free sex
>from a hooker
get a load of this fucking retard
>>25250852
why 3 months? Is that how long it takes the diseases to settle in so you can see what spawned in your body?
>>25250937
That's a hooker? damn....
>>25251043
don't you pay hookers to leave, so he could have just not paid her.
>>25251071
What'd you expect a hooker to look like?
If you were an attractive woman you wouldn't live life on easy mode?
>>25250937
That's a 9/10 to you man? its obvious she's a fucking junky/degenerate from that photo.
>>25251052
You need at least 12 weeks to have STD blood tests be accurate.
>>25250937
>Guilty
We dun goofed.
