Do you feel like you deserve your lonely life?
Yes I have too many fuck ups.
>>25249369
oh yes I'm an asshole with just about everybody
No.
I didn't deserve to be born to drug addicts.
I didn't deserve to be diddled along with my siblings growing up because my mom would make us live with fucked up people.
I didn't deserve for my older sister to kill herself.
I didn't deserve to be denied from the military despite getting a perfect score on the entrance exam because I cut myself when I was younger after being abused.
I didn't deserve to end up with an untreatable mental illness from the abuse growing up.
I didn't deserve to be forced to go to an out of state school because my GPA was bad because of shitty home life despite getting high scores on all standardized tests and AP tests.
I didn't deserve to be forced to take a few years off school to gain residency in my school's state so I could afford it again.
I didn't deserve any of this. I would have rather not been born, but now that I'm alive I'm too afraid to suicide because I know there is nothing after this.
Maybe one day it will get better.
>>25249369
Yes i do, im just not like other people tbqh
>>25249369
Yes, I am activelly pushing people away and when I show up somewhere, I just act like a retard...
>>25249546
Is any of this true?
>>25249894
>Is any of this true?
Every word of it.
>>25249899
show cuts an your shitty flat... with timestamp... sorry for not believing you, but I am yet to find someone with real legit life troubles here.
>>25249546
>Maybe one day it will get better.
But you know deep down that it won't.
Don't continue deluding youself - it only makes it worse.
>>25249981
Not him, but why would he? Why would be have to prove himself on a chinese photoplank?
>>25249369
Yes I believe I do
>>25249981
I don't know why I feel the need to prove myself to you.
Picture of scars.
>>25250023
>Why would be have to prove himself
I (and half of this fucking board) do it all the time.
You either write as someone with shittier/better/more interesting life than you... its the only reason this shithole gets any trafic.
>>25249369
no, I'm successful, physically fit and appear more moral than most people. The only reason I don't have a gf or friends is because I'm not good at talking to others.
>>25249981
uploading an album of my shitty studio apartment in the ghetto. it smells like mold and smoke and makes all my clothes stink unless they're in plastic bags or containers. They're from before I moved in so it's empty.
might have to reupload to strip exif so be patient.
can't be fucked to upload a timestamp but maybe i will do it when i have to get up to go diarrhea.
i probably have some kind of gastrointestinal problem. i've been diarrheaing for the last 5 days and haven't been able to stomach more than a few bites of food. this is a common problem. probably butt cancer since i get so many intestinal pains.
>>25249437
>>25249556
>>25249877
>>25250057
Its nice seing some realistic people after the piles of memes, smug frogs and femanon threads... thanks guys.
>>25250076
It must be shit that the army wont take you, that would be my first choice in your situation, have you tryed another branch? what re your othe options? do you have a job? education? your own room? a girlfriend?
absolutely not
sometimes i find it shocking on how much physical appearance can change your life.
how can people can lie to kids flat in the face telling them that looks don't matter if you work hard, everything else points to the contrary
Yes. I make no effort to really interact with people, mainly because i find the dull bullshit you have to go through to actually form a relationship tedious. Then there's the effort of maintaining it.
Essentially too much effort.
>>25250256
I know this might sound like a bullshit. but its moore about charisma... you can be ugly as sin, but if you smile a lot and are nice to be around, getting friends shouldnt be a problem... gf on the other hand... thats like 70% looks.
Yes.
I am aware of my flaws and i actively avoid ways to get better out of pure cowardice
>>25249981
Here is an album of my shitty apartment. The big rectangle on the wall is my fold up bed. It's that shitty.
http://imgur.com/a/mQHkU
>>25250218
>have you tryed another branch? what re your othe options?
Permanent disqualification to all branches because of self injury. Tried to get a waiver and psych eval but was told by the eval guy "there's nothing dangerous about you, but i know you're lying about those cuts so i have to disqualify you. sorry kid."
>do you have a job?
I had one. I have had several, but my mental state either ends up with me being unable to handle working and being around people for more than a few months, or I get fired for "being weird" or "you just don't fit right with us" or some other nonsense. I'm going to try to get disability income again, but I don't know if I'll get approved since last time I was denied for not having enough work credits or some shit.
If I don't have an income of at least $1000/m by the end of January I'll be fucked.
>education?
I was in school doing pre med and doing well, but I had to take a (few) year(s) off to get residency. Right now I'm not and can't be in school until at least August 2016. Possibly not until January 2017.
>your own room?
It's a piece of shit but yes.
>a girlfriend?
Hah.
Yes.
Because I'm a worthless piece of shit that deserves to die. The only thing that keeps me from committing is that I'm too much of a coward to go through with the act.
The entire world hates me and I deserve it.
>>25250256
They really don't unless you're absolutely hideous. Being attractive is a massive bonus and certainly makes life and relationships easier, but you can still get by. You see plenty of ugly people with friend, girlfriends and that.
I mean, if you're ugly and have shitty genes, your parents had to produce you in the first place right?
>>25250354
>I mean, if you're ugly and have shitty genes, your parents had to produce you in the first place right?
You can get shit genes even if your parents didn't have any.
I have horrible cystic acne that neither my mother's side, father's side, nor siblings have, for example. Literally everyone in my family but me has never had even a single pimple.
>>25250326
You have to be kidding, that apartment looks rather cozy
Maybe you think its shit because of the neighborhood
>>25250214
i feel sorry for you
i was bullied more than usual,probably made me hate mankind despite few close people, i really believe most people are headless monkeys that ready to follow anyone with ounce of charisma and a common goal, even if its aginst their own principals, we are literal cows waiting for someone to herd us because we are less than a dogpile of shit
i am suffering from agoraphobia due to drug abuse, somehow my nervous system reseted itself to a different level with no button to change it back, im fucked for life.
also im really really addicted to cigarettes, i could lose my life for it any day now
last but not least my friends who barely contact me anymore.
with all this shit going on i don't give a fuck, now i know that even if ill die soon ill i know that i haven't sold out to any culture or someones agenda because im not weak
>>25250354
its not just a bonus it literally makes your life easier.
if ill ever have kids the last thing ill do is to lie them straight like that, ill tell them to chase easy money where it is and rely only on yourself
I'm sorry you guys are lonely on Christmas, I played a song for you on my dulcimer.
The song is an old timey Christmas song called Greensleeves, I'm aware how much I suck and how my audio sucks but I hope you like it.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1v4jp8bIOWY
>>25250405
>You have to be kidding, that apartment looks rather cozy
It's a single room, maybe 10ft-10ft. The bathroom 3.5ft-3ft, and the kitchen attached to the single room has a counter space of 2ft.
It smells of smoke and mold that I cannot overpower or remove. I cannot use any of the closets or clothes storage because the smell permeates the clothes placed inside and is repulsive to everyone, including myself.
I am surrounded by the ghettoist of ghetto niggers. There is a police presence on the campus at night now because of how rampant breakins were. I can't get a gun because of my mental health history, so I have to hope a can of pepper spray is enough...
>>25250256
Honestly if you dont have any monstruous physical disability and didn't grow up from a fucked up family then you just have yourself to blame. And it's fine, I am an alien myself and I know that my loneliness is due mostly to my own choices. I could have tried finding friends that matched with my tastes, a gf and all but I just didn't even bother. With that said being a loner is much more pleasurous to me, at least for now.
>>25250448
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1v4jp8bIOWY
do you have by any chance long black hair and are lanklet?
>>25249369
I can't say what I deserve. I consider myself a good person. At least, I've never intentionally harmed anyone. But, this is not a just world.
The only thing I can say is my parents never should have had a child. They tried, but simply lacked the knowledge, resources and looks to raise a successful human in current society.
>>25250326
Looks comfy af
>>25250443
>its not just a bonus it literally makes your life easier.
That's what i said.
>>25250326
Fuck you, unless it smells like death and raw sewage you are just a drama queen.
Yeah probably.
I've been given everything I need for a sweet life but I'm too lazy to do something with it which results in even more failures which result in me having even less motivation et cetera et cetera.
I'm actually quite ok with my situation at the moment because I know if only I would do something everything could be better, but I won't. If that is actually true is another thing.
>>25250527
>Fuck you, unless it smells like death and raw sewage you are just a drama queen.
Yes, because people are very receptive to anyone as long as they don't smell of death and raw sewage.
>you have no reason to complain unless you're literally homeless and missing limbs with AIDS and cancer!
>>25250482
Nah man stocky brunette manlet, why?
>>25250552
Depression also tends to isolate you and make you less motivated...this explains a lot, in my opinion
Well I've tried my whole life to be left alone, so I don't complain. I wish I had a gf, but friends are too important for getting a gf and I don't wanna have friends.
>>25249369
You reap what you sow more or less
Yes because I'm a fucking idiot.
"If you win the game, some have to lose
The fun part is that you can't choose
You're born into a social class,
You're stuck there, it's hard to pass"
>>25250482
I'm really curious why you thought I was that person m8, who are they to you?
