>Hit myself in the head when overwhelmed
>Think of things I could have done to improve my Runescape clan which closed 3 years ago
>Don't say hello back to people who I live in the same house with because I think it's redundant - "Oh what a surprise it's you! Hello!"
>Turn on the shower to shit because I don't want people to know I'm shitting (I don't shit in the shower you idiots)
>Go to different hair places to get my hair cut because I can't keep track of the lies I tell in small talk and I'm afraid the middle aged immigrant women will call me out on them
>make threads that get 0 replies
>>25214090
that third one isn't that autistic
>Go to different hair places to get my hair cut because I can't keep track of the lies I tell in small talk and I'm afraid the middle aged immigrant women will call me out on them
You're doing it wrong man, you need to work on one story and stick with it.
I got to fuck my hair stylist before because she thought I was in med school and had big money. Not even joking.
>>25214090
So now people know when the shower is on, they know one of those will be an actual shower on any given day, and the rest will be you shitting.
>>25214501
thanks I'm now 20% less autistic
tfw my parents never let me buy runescape membership so i played the free version every day
Does anybody else think OP can have a sitcom about his life? I mean I'd watch it desu
>I frequently talk to myself in second-person when I'm alone
>I pace back and forth in my room when I'm excited or hyped up about something
>I remember punching myself on the side of my face a couple times last year as hard as I could (this was when I was at my absolute angriest & depressed, mind you)
>make weird, lolsoquirky-type faces in front of mirror for absolutely no reason
I need help.
>make weird, lolsoquirky-type faces in front of mirror for absolutely no reason
LMAO
>>25214501
No, it is. Seriously, it's just basic social interaction. If you don't realise that your actions make people feel uncomfortable, you are autistic.
>>25214641
>I pace back and forth in my room when I'm excited or hyped up about something
Yeah, I do this.
>imagine beating up school bullies from 10 years ago and saving girls from muggers and stuff
>sometimes do the fighting moves in my room
>try to block out bad thoughts by repeating stuff in my head
I tickle my nostril with tissue while fapping to stereoscopic porn. Sneezing while orgasming is best feeling ever.
>>25214948
>try to block out bad thoughts by repeating stuff in my head
I also do this, some eyars I go I did this quite often.
>Do arithmetic in my head when trying to repress thoughts, but I've gotten so good at adding numbers that I can do it while thinking about complex, terrible memories.
>i do all of these.
Seems like we're all the same volks.
>>25215039
I do that too mate. You've got to use more complex math. I like to count up primes or double number over and over.
>>25214792
Fuck people.
Especially family
Like they care what I am
I'm actually autistic, and cannot speak in public. My brain just locks up and I stare them down until they stop talking to me.
>>25215071
Yeah sounds like a plan. I'm also really good at remembering numbers. I dated this girl for a month over a year and a half ago, but I still remember her phone number from when I memorized it. I deleted it over a year ago. It feels good to say this anonymously because it's not like I'm trying to creep on her, it's just I literally cannot forget numbers that I memorize that have some importance to me.
>>25214949
>Sneezing while orgasming is best feeling ever
honestly this sounds great
>>25214090
>Don't say hello back to people who I live in the same house with because I think it's redundant
Just think of it as establishing a TCP connexion. They say SYNC, you have to say ACK.
>>25214090
>Don't say hello back to people who I live in the same house with because I think it's redundant - "Oh what a surprise it's you! Hello!"
That's not autism m8, it's just a lack of respect & decent upbringing
>>25215125
What if i don't really feel like saying hello.
>>25214948
I do these, if I start having cringe thoughts I'll do an inward groan or say random numbers
>imagine having conversations with people you were friends with because you don't have any now
>when I was at school I'd imagine playing in a band and be really impressive and everyone was watching, all the stacies and chads would get jealous and all the other people would think I was cool
>tfw now repeating numbers in my head for thinking of something so cringey
>>25214948
>try to block out bad thoughts by repeating stuff in my head
I Say random things out loud but now boiled down to me saying
> Stupid bitch
> $ 4 Billion dollars then everything will be ok
>Fuck you
>have conversatios with people in my head
>if i'm listening to music on the bus, i imagine the other passengers can hear my music and are judging my taste
>i sometimes feel like people can tell what i'm thinking
>>25215183
They can when you put on your serious cool face so people don't make fun of you behind your back but you know they do.
>>25215178
>> $ 4 Billion dollars then everything will be ok
>imagining a robot repeating this
>>25215136
>>when I was at school I'd imagine playing in a band and be really impressive and everyone was watching, all the stacies and chads would get jealous and all the other people would think I was cool
This is probably the all time most common failed normie fantasy
>>25215134
Same answer applies. It takes no effort at all.
>>25215227
Maybe for you.
Some of us are assburgers autistic.
I can't make eye contact at all. I can't even make eye contact with videos of people when they look into the camera
>>25215183
I imagined some autist just blaring music out of his phone speaker wondering if people can hear it.
I pick all the chicken out of my campbell's chicken noodle soup because the little bits of chicken disgust me.
When I play vidya games sometimes I imagine that I'm talking to people and explaining why I do things as if I'm a twitch streamer or something
>>25215337
I'll watch your stream anon
>>25214949
think I need to try this
For fucks sake I can relate to more than half of these posts. Maybe I really am an autist.
>>25215337
I do this, and also state my opinions on random things while pretending the fake audience cares about what I have to say
I do this for hours on end
>>25215438
Yeah, I think it's more to do with loneliness than autism or some shit though
>have a word document of things that I thought were funny in hopes of creating sketches/writing screenplays
>know it'll never happen
>Think of the best reactions to extremely specific social events/happenings in order to say something really witty/funny/profound.
>Only used them twice in my life.
>>25215183
>if i'm listening to music on the bus, i imagine the other passengers can hear my music and are judging my taste
sheeeeit. I remember this one time back in highschool, I was on the school bus listening to Big Black on my earbuds, and only when I took them out I realised how fucking loud it was. I think everyone around me could hear it.
Even worse, some stacy was sitting behind me for the entire ride. Good thing I got on the last stop before school, so it only went on for like 6 minutes.
It was embarrassing then, but now I can see how much of a retard I must've looked like. Jesus christ...
>>25215527
>tfw I do this but imagine I'm on a talk show because doing something extraordinary to get famous is more likely than making a friend
>>25215337
>>25215438
I have a terrible habit of talking to myself in this fashion, too. I only very rarely used to do it until I started doing it as a practice for my tutorials, but, even after I finished my job, I still do it.
I hope one day I'm famous so that I may say it was all practice and not just autistic/lonely/make-believe shit.
Fuck it, I just hope people take me seriously.
>>25214090
existtotally being original right now
>create entire cartoon/video game ideas in my head, complete with Npc talk, bgm, and Opening/Ending scenes
>narrate everything as if I was in a TV show or doing a YouTube video
>delete texts after I get them, even just the "your bill is almost due" ones
>only use Incognito mode
>always delete search history on YouTube after I watch something
>pace back and forth, talking to myself
>make fun out of anything, I.e. Playing with bread as I butter it
>pour liquid soap all over the bathtub when I shower then run back and forth so it's all slippery
>only shit when there's no one around
>eat bits of my blanket when I'm hungry
>always constantly aware of my arms while I'm walking
>get all the blackheads and shit out of my face with a bobby pin and try and take pictures of it close up
>chew on my knuckle when I'm anxious
>systematically squeegee myself off after a shower before using a towel
>smile at people a lot
>if someone's talking to me I look in their eyes the entire time
I jog around the house in an extremely camp manner, my arms pulled up high and close to my chest so that my hands dangle like that if a T-Rex. Whilst doing so, I constantly repeat out loud strange words and sounds or whistle frantically.
I may not be Autistic, but simply retarded
>>25215178
>$4 billion dollars then everything will be okay
Fuck why is this so funny
>>25215540
>Big Black
THEBACKBONEOFTHISCOUNTRYIS
I remember showing my friends things like Big Black and Sonic Youth, and the only response being "What the fuck is this shit? LOL YOU HAVE SUCH A BAD TASTE XD"
Often when I feel stressed I moan a lot. Like Ill just go "uggghhhhh" or drone on. For some reason it seems to help but what sucks is I can only do it when I'm alone.
when playing vidya i usually speak to characters as if they can hear me
>you realize that was stupid, right?
>are you an idiot?
>what in the fuck are you doing, you complete and total moron?
Mind you I say these relatively loudly so I am sure others can hear me.
>>25214090
>regularly play the final fantasy 13 triliogy
why do i do this to myself?
>>25215604
>eat bits of my blanket when I'm hungry
>>25214090
>imagine being held captive in a foreign country by terrorists
>break my way out by just generally being a total bad-ass
>save a bunch of other innocent people in the process
>for some reason everyone back home hears about it and I'm a fucking hero
>get flown home in a private jet with the prime minister in it for some reason
>everyone loves me because I'm super humble and modest about it
My imaginary self is a pretty fucking amazing guy. He's a world-renowned mathematician, physicist, sports star, war hero, pretty sure he got into politics and some point...
I constantly have to stop myself in public from just sitting blankly and imagining myself doing something cool instead of actually doing anything. I even do it during conversations. I'll zone out because mentally I've taken something tangentially related to the conversation and imagined a massive hypothetical around it.
Even when I'm reading books, I'll catch myself not really reading and just imagining myself doing something similar to what's happening in the book.
>>25214090
>>Hit myself in the head when overwhelmed
do you make cute noises while you do this as well?
>>25215604
>just remembered I haven't don't my last two tax returns
>always delete the reminder emails
Oh well, I don't even owe any tax.
>>25215337
I've never not done this while cooking.
>defeat terrorists in my head
>people like me
>I give a political speech when being awarded my medal
I have a huge thing against making accounts.
For example, for tumblr I just bookmark my favourite blogs. I refuse to make an account.
>jump up 4 stairs at a time
>bleed on my clothes
>flip into bed
>>25214641
>I frequently talk to myself in second-person when I'm alone
I'm not alone
>>25215778
I do exactly this lmao
>screen shot/snippet nearly fucking everything I come across and conversations I have with others
>never open them again.
>look around the house over and over making sure everything is "okay." I do this at least 10 times a day.
>get intrusive thoughts that something bad has happened in the world and spend hours reading news to make sure everything is fine.
>hit myself in the head to get rid of said thoughts
>doesn't work; do it anyway
desu I contemplate the warm embrace of an exit bag.
>>25214090
>Think of things I could have done to improve my Runescape clan which closed 3 years ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb7yWLN1vh8
kek
>>25216612
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_eitpneEE4
huhuhuhuhuh
>>25214948
>sometimes do the fighting moves in my room
lol
>>25215856
I do this too
what does it mean
>>25215616
>smile at people a lot
>if someone's talking to me I look in their eyes the entire time
alpha
>>25215123
cool thought
i spend my days making these
>>25214949
Now I've got a plan for tonight
>>25216760
Or if you have photoptarmosis just be in a dark room and then stare into a bright fluorescent.
>>25216710
is there another one of these games?
i like them a lot.
>>25216802
the one pictured is the only one i really like. there are others but they are not as good
>>25216815
i know.
searched rinmarugames, or whatever also.
this is the only good one desu
Outside of the anons mentioning that they hit themselves in the head there's nothing autistic about this thread. Just insecure people and people not realizing that every single person on the planet is fucking weird.
i typed t b h
then it turned into desu
Go on long walks and talk to myself, usually angrily.
Also was a brony (god, i hate tht fucking term, it has much cringe in itself) for over 3 years, rewatching seasons, reading tons of fanfiction (including the entirety of fallout equestria) and even writing some, as well as making god awful fanart for the fanfictions i read. I can still remember the disappointment on my dad's face, but he still made me an MLP birthday cake for i think my 14th? God...
>>25214641
Yeah... i know the feeeel
>eat the same foods almost everyday
>hit myself when I'm beyond aggravated
>fantasize my life with girls that I've never even spoken too
>fantasize about becoming a batman-like superhero, beating up criminals
>move my hands in front of my face and jumble them together when i think of cool shit (I don't do this in front of people, its only when im alone and it was a habit as a child that stayed with me)
>reread texts, messages from years ago from people who haven't thought about me in years
>call people cucks but jerk off to cuck porn
>>25216684
I've heard "maladaptive daydreaming" thrown around a couple of times.
>>25216906
This has to be bait
Roblox
>>25216612
>>25216654
Runescape war speeches are the most wonderfully autistic thing from my childhood
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Q0-cG374Og
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUXjtZ-rsAs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ueu737FGxiY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL60IuhNieo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewdpgc6KHCs
>>25215653
I want to see this so fucking bad
>>25217051
It's not, i'll fucking post the pic of the cake and your reverse image search will come up with nothing.
Merry cringemas.
>>25216247
I uh
I mean like is this in order because I don't get it, why did jumping up stairs make you bleed
Also the hell does "bleed into my clothes mean", how frequently are you bleeding where this is a definite thing you do
>>25215493
post it
I'd like to read it
>>25217228
Oh fuck me
Y-you're okay now right anon
>>25217288
no too personal
>I pretend my clothes have stats (like charisma etc)
>Wear sunglasses in all seasons due to sensory shit
>Bring my dog everywhere with me so most conversations I have can revolve around it fairly easily.
>>25214090
Say the dumbest shit to people without thinking, then recall it every day, filling with deep regret and self-loathing, unable to eliminate the memory. I've hundreds of such events haunting me forever.
Some days, it's so bad that I contemplate killing myself so that I can no longer remember my social failure. I don't know why I'm still alive. I'm just living because I'm too much of a pussy to end it.
>>25217313
Should i go into details about the 14th?
>>25215493
That's not autistic, that's just keeping notes on your ideas, something almost every author does.
It's pretty deplorable that you're not turning them into a final product, though.
>>25217645
I mean I absolutely need you to do that yes
Conversation with older female coworker
>how old are you anon?
>22
>oh, that's too bad.
>why?
>because I'm old!
>that's ok, i'm above the age of consent
As I was walking off, I slowly started to realize what I said. Basically, I say retarded shit like this sometimes.
Reading this thread made me realize I might be slightly autistic.
>>25217703
Hahahaha I just lost my fucking shit to this
>>25217703
>>that's ok, i'm above the age of consent
Fuckin beautiful level of awkwardness, you're life is a fucking movie anon
>>25215199
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
>>25215178
this guy knows whats up espblox
I go up stairs quickly for no reason. I'll leap them 2-3 steps at a time all the way.
When I'm walking I'm actually kinda slow but when I come across some stairs I'm fucking sanic.
Couple times I tried to go up stairs like a normal person and it felt so wrong and uncomfortable.
I also say random phrases to keep intrusive thoughts at bay, mine are
>pillows are soft
>giraffe
>global warming
>the first swear word or racial slur that pops in my head
>imagine being a politician and giving a public speech about why social justice warriors are retards and their opinions are objectively wrong
>then I order all illegal immigrants / "refugees" to get forcefully deported and the ones that try to come back get shot on sight
>offer everyone who confesses to Islam a free plane trip to Syria and Iran because they belong there better than here
>order several nuclear strikes against the middle east
>>25216604
Sounds like you have ocd senpai.
>>25217953
Go back to /pol/
Thats were you belong
>I like to narrate my life when I'm all alone.
I> also slap myself when I recall something stupid or embarrassing I did. Or when I just look in the mirror.
>I don't ask my parents how their day went. I don't think this is a big deal, but they're always calling me out on it for some reason.
>I clear my history every day before going to sleep. If I forget about it and remember it when falling asleep/waking up, I have to turn the PC back on and clear it anyway.
>When I make online friends, I always end up cutting any ties with them somehow. I never understand why.
>I clean my teeth once an hour even if I don't eat anything
Think I might have OCD desu
>>25215337
>>25215438
I do these all the time.I-I'm not an autist, I'm just really lonely
>>25217689
>dad and stepmom knew i was a brony, which was disturbed my dad but not stepmom
>but they didn't know how autistic i was about
>a week before party i actively decide to show them
>bring sketchbook, pencils, and crayons to dads house
>begin to work on absolutely god awful fanart on the couch in the living room, right next to my dad, so he'd comment on it
>he's actually really good at art too, so this must have been even worse for him
>he doesn't know what to say, but stepmom comes out and starts complimenting this shit
>for some reason dad decides to join me (i guess to bond and relate)
>in 5 minutes his first is 10x better than any of mine and i get super protective of mine and critical of his
>somehow we get to a point where he says we'll make a brony cake together if i give it up after
>dont really agree or disagree, but it ends up happening
>day of party
>thank god none of my friends came
>cake done, brother, dad, stepsister, stepmom all there
>brother and dad start barely making fun of me
>face gets super red, sweating, pissed off, way over reacting
>put my face on the table for like 30 minutes covered by my arms
>they try to talk to me and apologizing, saying they were just kidding
>like a total autist borderline shriek/yell/cry "YOU WERE JEERING AT ME"
>kept on using the word jeer for some goddamn reason, over and over
>eventually i get the most awkward possible car ride back to my house from my dad, dead silent, no goodbye
Sorry for terrible greentext, but there's one last thing, and if you dont believe this i wouldnt fucking blame you but...
>16th birthday party
>decide the problem was i wasnt confident enough about being a brony, that's what went wrong
>request ANOTHER MLP cake from my dad
>for some reason he agrees to do it
>things go shittily again, just not as autistic
>get back to my mom's house, throw the remaining 3/4 cake in the dumpster so they wont figure out how autistic there son is
What the fuck is wrong with me?
>>25218078
Also, dont have a pic of the 16th cake sorry
>>25218078
I...well at least you can recognize where you went wrong. Thanks for sharing
>>25215033
>>25214948
>>try to block out bad thoughts by repeating stuff in my head
Other mantra anons. I haven't used my mantra in several months. and it was usually just shouting it in my own thoughts.
>punch myself when mad
>repeatedly wear the same shoes or shirt
> have to wiggle my toes or pop my knuckles when i think "bad" thoughts
>let my mom control like 80% of the things i do
>>25216235
>for tumblr
die
>>25218078
>YOU WERE JEERING AT ME
>>25217953
oh god I do this shit too
>>25217953
You're obsessed with things that will never have any effect on you.
Grow up, live your life.
>>25218078
>being a brony at 14
get out you underage fuck
>>25215604
>>25215819
My sides, jesus fuck
>>25218280
Actually turned 18 this month
