I actually feel better after masturbation.

I tend to get this strange detachment from myself where I admonish whoever has taken control of my body for being weak.

This extends to criticizing my own actions, college work, lifestyle, and methods of escaping from pain.

I feel like it's the only time I can be truthful with myself.

You still get those? What are you, underage or something.

I feel low
Tired
Alone

>>25213312
sorta similar here.

The more I masturbate, the more I'm reminded how worthless I am. It's an extension of feeling sexually worthless - I'm a failure in that department (though not a virgin). Then I just remember everything else about myself and my life that's fallen short of what I imagined I should be. I'm addicted to my imagination.

>>25213296
Could someone explain this to me?

For me, masturbation feels good and it's just that simple; I fap - feels good - I cum - blankess for a few moments - back to senses - go about the rest of my day. What am I missing here?

>>25213940
I'm >>25213868,
I guess for me, sex has always been reinforced as a negative thing when I was growing up. Fast-forwarding movies with any mention of sex, that kind of thing. I was very sexually eager when I was hitting puberty, and you bet your ass I found porn quickly. But my dad also found my internet history quickly, and had to tell me that what I had done was very wrong. This thing that I had enjoyed so much, the best feeling I had ever had: It was wrong to have it.

I felt awful, cause I trusted my dad, and he did want what was best for me, but I couldn't stop this "addiction" to porn and fantasy and masturbation.
I got more clever about hiding my tracks,
but soon, my dad installed software on our computers that reported all web browsing to him, regardless of cleared history/cookies whatever. So then I was further humiliated and guilted.

Then I started having some gay feelings, and that was a whole nother can of worms. Needless to say, we were Christians. And I hated myself for my gay feelings. But just like my other sexual feelings, they wouldn't go away.

Now I'm (sortof) okay with being bi, but I can't get away from all the negative psychological connections that I have with my sexuality.
What's worse, when I actually do have sex, I've never been able to reach orgasm. I always go limp from some sort of anxiety or something, I don't know what it is exactly.
I'm obsessed with sex, and I can't really have it. Every experience with it becomes more soul crushing.

So I masturbate. And hate myself.

>>25214217
I can't solely blame my upbringing I guess though, I mean I definitely have some psychological issues/mental illness going on. OCD, anxiety, blah blah blah. I dunno.

i'm depressed all the time, i can't even bring myself to fap.

i barely eat, i get very little sleep, i don't want to leave the bed

and i doubt i can bring myself to a doctor not that he would give a shit

>>25214298
whats your diet like?
>calorie intake?
>one a day?
>vitamin fucking c?

While I masturbate to a video there are dozens of couples around who are having sex. Talk about feeling worthless.

>>25214329
i wake up, don't eat anything until about 3PM and then its' like a glass of milk

i'll probably have a sandwich before i go to bed (tuna or pbj)

water if i'm thirsty. i'm very malnourished

>>25213296
I used to get that a lot. Now I usually feel really good after jerking off. The biggest factor is definitely what you're jerking it to, stop jerking to fucked up shit and pornography in general. If you can't use your imagination, then just use still photos, the videos are where it really starts to fuck with your head.

>>25214376
lordy yes. If you are serious about improving whatever time you have left on this plane of existence you can. Lived with my parents for 6 years after college which put me in a shitty cycle of alcohol abuse and over 300 grams of sugar a day. Keeping my diet regular was the most effective step to curing my depression.

Breakfast really is the most important meal of the day.

>>25214376
If you want some pointers on where to start I would love to help

>>25214465
i'm 27 so my life is practically over, i care very little about anything anymore

>>25214481
so was I. the first step is figuring out you are worth saving :)

Buy 2 weeks worth of long lasting EASY TO FIX food and keep your fridge stocked up
>yogurt
>eggs
>hashbrowns
>apples (they last a long time for a fruit)
>granola
>multivitamin

stay away from
>bread products in general.
>caffine
>milk is upping your estrogen which no doubt enhances your depression

You will find a big meal in the morning will turn your life around

You sound like a giant faggot

>>25213304
this guy got it right

>>25214598
not when i wake up at noon. i don't think it's this easy

Yep. I'm about to have a mental breakdown.

>>25214678
never said it would be easy

>>25214298
I'm the same boat here dude
Haven't fapped since sepmtember, dick barely wants to go up.
Have been eating very little everyday, sleeping most part of the day only waking up to go on the internet and the to sleep again.
Went to a doctor back in september and he gave some antidepresives but they don't seem to do anything at all, for me.