I started out much like you people. I posted on this website, released the occasional shitpost or funny greentext. It was a happier time, even if I thought things were unfair.
Let me tell you the definition of "Unfair."
>Be six years old
>Dad commits suicide due to war PTSD
>Be nine
>Molested by pedophile in an alleyway
>Be twenty-two
>Falsely accused of rape by a heartless bitch
>Reputation ruined
>One of my only friends is a huge nerd, into science and engineering and string theory and shit
>Be fifty
>Friend makes a time machine
>Finally, my second chance
>I go back in time to test his machine
>I have nothing left to lose anyways, so why not?
>I go back to when I was six, and I slaughter the pedophile
>I slit his throat and watch him choke to death on his own blood
>Then, I jump ahead, and falsely accuse the bitch of having CP on her computer
>It was all too easy, really
>I watch my past self grow old and have a happier life than mine
>Time begins to split
>I look through a window, and see another string
>I go into it, and time repeats in a separate universe
>I kill the pedophile
>I accuse the bitch
>I save myself again
>I look through the window
>Again
>And again
>And again
>Over and over again, I save myself, but I never grow old
>Another copy of me never appears to take my place
>This is my burden to bear
>After some time, it becomes a routine
>I kill the pedophile without any malice. It becomes as impersonal as brushing my teeth in the morning
>Once, he looked into my eyes and asked me "Why"
>I shrugged
>"It's just my job"
>I accuse the woman without any glee
>The pained look on her face before they try her brings me no joy
>"It's just my job"
>Over and over and over again
>After doing this for perhaps the three-thousandth time, I give up
>It's pointless to continue saving myself
>I go into sixteen year old me's house, and I go to this stupid website
>I delete the shitpost he had planned, and post this instead
>You won't believe me
>You won't
>I know what you're going to comment
>I've seen it a hundred times before, trust me
>You won't believe me, but I want you to remember something
>Living a perfect life is impossible, so just accept how shitty your existence is
>That's how I get by, nowadays
>Heh, he's almost home
>Well, I'll be going now
>Where am I going?
>Fuck if I know
>By the way, if you ever meet a Dr. Anthony Jackson from Missouri, don't test his machine
>That's all folks
>>25208899
>>25208946
I truly want to believe
>>25209293
I was going to post something funny, but then it hit me. There is a slight, slight chance that this post is real.
And we'll never know.
>>25209490
Nothing like unfalsifiable claims.
>>25208899
op could you tell us when were you born? that could help us a little. Sorry for bad english, not my native language
>>25209534
>>I go into sixteen year old me's house, and I go to this stupid website
>>I delete the shitpost he had planned, and post this instead
Sometime around 1999 it seems
>>25209534
He brought up Missouri. I kek'd when I read that.
If time machines are ever invented, it won't be in fucking Missouri
>>25209567
>1999
>4chan
>dubiousjapanesecartoon.jpg
What's the girls name you accused and the person you killed? where was the killing done?
>>25209575
being "from" missouri doesn't imply that
dr jackson might study at caltech or some shit with a full ride schokarship because he's a genius, create the machine in a lab, but still be from missouri
>I go into sixteen year old me's house, and I go to this stupid website
>I delete the shitpost he had planned, and post this instead
that doesn't make sense Op. you lying sack of shit
>>25208899
You got molested when you were 9 shitbird
>>25209737
fucking lol
read the reply chain ya dumb shit
that's hypothetical OP's birthday, today is still in december 2015
>>25209914
Why would he go back the year he was molested? Why not go back a few years earlier to make sure the guy didn't get anyone else?
Im fuckin dying at the people asking OP questions. If he didnt say who he killed in the greentext, why would he say their names now
>>25209857
>>25210005
it's obviously supposed to be a mindfuck story that makes you consider whether this lesson applies to you or not, no need to nitpick details about how fake it is when it involves fucking TIME TRAVEL
So lets see. Underage B& OP was going to post today, at the end of 2015. He's sixteen.
At fifty, he goes back in time. That's only 34 years in the future.
2049 people, it's happening
>>25210077
Thank you. People sperging out over a fake greentext story
I don't care about the moral lesson.
I wish time travel was possible.
I wish I could fix my life. Sigh.
>>25210426
You do realize that's exactly what OP is warning against. Even if you fix your life, it's not /YOUR/ life anymore.
>>25210574
I guess I would do it anyway so at least an alternate version of me is less miserable than I.
Still, this doesn't help me deal my situation. This timeline should have been different, better for me.
Is there anything to gain by accepting my life? This sucks anyway.
>>25210781
Im not going to pretend like OP isnt a gigantic faggot who has no idea what hes talking about, but I think hes just pointing out that worrying about what could have been is the most useless thing there is.
And hes right about that
>>25210980
I understand. Thanks Anon.
Self made millionaire shut in here, I'll send your current self $500k and a guide on how to invest it for the luls.
>>25211495
Bump, you got 5 minutes to reply or I'm going to jack off on my wife and go to bed, shes okay with it because shes a stacy that pretty much only cares about money.
Word to the wise, Prenups are a blessing.
I get as much pussy as I could ever want, and she has to work for her money by keeping her body in shape.
check m8 stacies
>>25208899
>Then, I jump ahead, and falsely accuse the bitch of having CP on her computer
>woman
>going to jail for pedophilia
>>25210781
According to the Many-Worlds Interpretation, there are many versions of yourself less miserable than you now are
>>25208899
>sixteen year old me
UNDERAGE BAN
>>25208899
Double dubs!
Do me a favor and go back to 2005 and tell me not to go back to drexel in 2009. And to drop videogames for music.
>>25208899
someone screenshot this and save it on their hardrive for 30 years to confirm time traveling op lol
