Who else here mischiefs?
>be me
>highly functioning autist
>appear to be a normie
>score 9/10 qt 3.14 w/ rich family (net worth >30 million GDP) last March
>xmas dinner was last night at super fancy restaurant ($300 usd/plate) w/ her family
>MFW when I order very well done Wagyu Filet Mignon
>MFW when I return it to be cooked "more done" and ask for A1 and Ketchup
>Call black sounding people Niggers in online games
>I'm black
>>25202915
>Be White
>Hate all blacks and think they are all niggers
>Treat them with dignity and respect
>Act like a SJW Black Activist in real life
>convince other people on /r9k/ who are suicidal not to do it
>convinced I'm doing them a service by telling them to hang on to life and think I'm doing god's work
>attempted suicide for the third time tonight using a guitar chord and a high cupboard
>cupboard door broke, and im left with a nasty bruise for christmas
>>25204331
>tell people to never go to psych ward
>go there every few months for fun to meet crazy girls
>mom asks me to take out the trash
>say ok
>never do it
>dad takes out the trash
>work as a cashier
>give a penny less change back to Chads
>can say I stole from Chad
>be in store, employee approaches
>"can I help you find anything, sir?"
>"n-no thanks, I-I'm okay"
>actually needed help
>>25202952
Hey same here man.
>donation jar at local gas station for "single mother of two who lost her job"
>put in a condom
>>25204433
Does that really work?
>>25204720
it does
its like being in a holiday inn with drugs and 90% of the people there are girls
>Leave secret poops
>>25204750
I have got chad tier looks but I'm diagnosed with schitzo affective disorder which pretty much ruined my life. This sounds like an enjoyable endeavor. What program do you join to ensure that you end up with girls
>>25204827
I never joined any programs
I just tell my psychiatrist im going to kill myself and he calls security and they take me upstairs to the ward
the newer the hospital the better
>>25204880
What country is this? Damnit 4chan keeps muting me for saying certain things. I think the new r9k mods sucks
>take a shit
>don't wipe
>>25204927
united states
USA USA USA
>mom changes my diaper
>pee in it as soon as she tapes it up
>be at train station
>10/10 qt fidgeting, sidelong glances, obviously expecting me to hit on her
>keep ignoring her
>>25204827
>schitzo affective disorder which pretty much ruined my life
This probably won't help you because it is my own anecdotal account of how I "beat" schizophrenia and if it worked at all, let alone for everyone, it 'd be common treatment....but basically, I accepted and truly knew (truly knowing is the operative meaning here) I was schizophrenic. From there, I was able to weather my literally 20+ episodes a day down to one every 6 months or so.
The other important thing that is necessary is to be able to analyze what's goign on during an episode "through the lens" of a "normal" person.....then you basically disregard anything a normal person would perceive/do....again, this is anecdotal, but maybe it will help; can't hurt right
>go to someone else's house
>pee in toilet
>pee in toilet tank too
>grandmother asks me if I already made my appointment with the psychologist
>say yes
>didn't actually make an appointment
>that was a month ago
>still haven't done it
>>25206126
>mom tells me to take my anti psychotics
>pretend to take them but really stashing them in the hole in the wall I punched
>therapist asks me if I'm depressed
>say no
>actually very depressed and plan to kill myself in two weeks
>>25206241
>therapist ask me if im hearing voices
>say yes
>have to go to psych ward
>be heterosexual male
>convince everyone i'm actually gay
>actually get a bunch of dudes to let me suck them off
>they have no idea that im actually straight
>be me
>hate women
>hate kids
>hate working
>marry woman
>have kids
>work my ass off to provide for them
>completely miserable
>>25202915
>>25202952
>Rant and attack every Mexican poster on /pol/ by calling them a spic
>Rustle their jimmies by saying that Trump will be the best president ever
>I'm Mexican
>>25202876
come on, anon. That's a sin.
one time I was at this farm and there was like 50 million toads
I got bored and threw them at a wall as hard as I could
I also got the horse to step on a few
>>25206331
I can relate to this.
One of my friends has a super annoying friend who is a complete faggot.
I fucking hate faggots, especially the flamboyant one like this guy is....
I get drunk one night and decide I'm going to get him drunk and rape him in the ass.
I do it and he enjoys it. God i hate faggots
>>25206391
did you enjoy it?
desu senpai
>>25206459
>did you enjoy it?
No
>>25206481
well at least you made someone happy :)
>therapist claims I have schizophrenia
>say I don't
>I actually do
>>25202876
I hate you for ruining such a steak. Seriously, what the fuck man?
>>25206384
turn on legacy captcha shitballs
>>25202876
>family
> >30million GDP
>GDP
You arent an autist, youre just a retard
>be miserable
>be out of mind from boredom and isolation
>keep doing the same things every day
>never leave comfort zone
:^)
>normalswine biologicals make me go to prechristmas dinner with them and granpa
>know for a fact they will try to talk to me
>remember Xmas gift I bought myself to learn music
>bring my guitar and play this song over and over
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1J0mvqYkpsG
>after 10 minutes mom is crying and dad is yelling at the waitress for burning his Denver omelet
>dad throws $50 on table and drags mom and granpa to car
>I fill my pockets with honey mustard packets and skip to my ride
SEASONS GREETINGS NORMALSLIMES
>>25202876
>>highly functioning autist
so....not autistic
>(net worth >30 million GDP)
now i know you're just stupid
6/10 bait nice mischief m8
>>25202876
gross domestic product? did you mean gbp m9
>>25202952
no wonder europe's being overrun by immigrants, grow a spine lad
>>25202876
wow top cringe
>>25207241
>>25207474
> pretend to be retarded
> actually a genius
>>25204991
Arn't you old enough to change your own diaper by now?
>>25207640
my mom likes to do it and im lazy
>>25207186
what that then? something something
>>25207371
>Denver omelet for dinner
your dads a swine
>>25204331
>do it
>>convinced I'm doing them a service by telling them to hang on to life and think I'm doing god's work
>>attempted suicide for the third time tonight using a guitar chord and a high cupboard
>>cupboard door broke, and im left with a nasty bruise for christmas
>Guitar chord
Was it an A? A G? How do you play chord when hanging yourself???
>>25207717
It's the whole normalfart "breakfast for dinner" meme.
I got the surf and turf
>it hadn't arrived when dad had his tantrum
Writing multiple 1 star reviews on yelp is even tastier lel
>>25207833
A bar chord would be easiest
