>live with parents
>use fleshlight from time to time
>today I used it before going to work and forgot to hide it
>literally a fleshlight on my table with sperm dripping out of it
>come back from work, the fleshlight is on my chair
>mom probably saw it and moved it while cleaning the house
Fuck my stupidity I want to fucking crush my head right now. Have you got any similar stories and ways to relax?
Did she at least clean the semen out?
She probably licked your cum off that thing
>>25202003
I'M SITTING ON THE DOCK OF A BAY
WASTING TIIIIMEEEEE
>>25202003
EVERYTHING STILL REMAINS THE SAME
I CANT DO WHAT NORMIES TELL ME TO DO
SO I GUESS I'LL JUST DIE OF SHAME
*WHISTLE SOLO*
>at family dinner in a nice restaurant last month
>have to fart
>it isn't a fart
>have to quickly leave while trying not to let on that I just shit myself hardcore
>>25202028
Nope
Also
>>25202113
>>25202146
wtf nigga chill
>>25202184
YOU GONN NEEEEED SOMEBODY TO STAND BY YOUUU
>>25202184
NO I WON'T BE AFRAID
NO I WONT BE ASHAMED
i ate my own semen on webcam for forty non-paying strangers yesterday
SO DARLING DARLING STAND BY ME
OH STAND
SHANANAMIIIII
my parents caught me jerking off in my own poop
WHEN THE NIGHT HAS COME
twice
AND THE DAY IS GONE
ONE LOVE
ONE HEART
I'm an alcoholic fuck and my dad often has to wrestle my drunk naked ass upstairs before my mum comes home
LETS GET TOGETHER AND FEEL ALRIGHT
My parents found my downloaded videos fromWatching My Mom Go Black.
We don't talk.
SH-SH-SHANANAOOOKA
I tried to fuck my sister, she flipped out.
MEMEYOOOKAH
>>25202391
How old were the two of you? How far did you get? I need this for reasons.
>>25202431
AND I THINK TO MYSEEEELLLFFF
She kicked me square in the nuts, so I guess I got a kneejob
WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLDDDD
>>25202496
Yeah but how old were you two?I don't unerstand why everyone is posting song lyrics with their confessions.
>>25202515
I SEE FRIEND SHAKING HADNNNNNSSNS
SAAYING HOW SHOOPDEWOOP
old enough to know better,
YES I THINK TO MYSELF WAT A WONDERFULL WOOORLLDDD
old enough to go to jail,
TH?EYRE TREALLY SAYING I HATE YOU
They're all me - I am but one robot
>>25202597
Oh. Wow. I'm just the guy who shat myself in public.
>>25202515
>everyone
>replies: 18
>posters: 5
Just some autistic fuck
>>25202637
AGNANA
GEDDA
MUDDAPUTA
>>25202003
>high school graduation
>take LSD beforehand
>supposed to play with the school band
>it's in a basketball arena
>ceremony starts
>band members called up to play a song
>walk up, realize my instrument isn't put together
>instead of putting it together real quick, hide behind a curtain
>band plays without me
>afterwards walk back to my seat
>>25202654
Fuck off you attention seeking spastic
>>25202828
That wasn't a curtain anon, that was mummy's skirt and everyone was too busy watching you to play the music
>>25202003
>still living
>"So anon, how's the job hunting"
>tfw
>>25202869
WHO'S THAT PRETTY DEER ON THE WALL MY DEER?
>>25202003
>mom found my piss bottles I forgot about
>>25202828
why did you take lsd beforehand
>be in office on placement
>walk to my usual chair beside my mentor
>some other lady is sitting in it having a conversation
>hover for a second because muh autism
>turn around and go to another free chair
>lady in my chair gets up to move
>say 'it's fine, you're allright'
>she doesn't hear
>move back to my chair because she's allready moved
>she now has to crouch on the floor
am I being mental for chastising myself for this fuckup? Been playing over this in my head for weeks. Know she and everybody else has allready forgotten it probably but I can't help but feel physical pain when I think about it.
>2010
>beating off to loli in high school
>go to take out the trash but leave the loli up because I was horny
>come back in the room
>the mouse is moved from the top left of the screen to the bottom middle
>mfw
I'm happy this was never brought up ever
>>25202167
why does he look like a fish
>walking outside
>some girl waves her hand to me
>first reaction is to wave back
>she has a confused reaction on her face
>realise that you dont even know her
>quickly take a left turn and cringe all the way back home
>>25203134
Because I thought it would make graduation better. All those speeches are boring. It did make it better except for the band thing.
>>25203237
>be me
>middle school, all the buses lined up waiting to leave
>a girl on the opposite bus started talking with her hands and mouthing words
>I thought she was trying to talk to me
>start to talk back with my hands
>continue for a couple minutes
>eventually realize she was talking to someone else on my bus
>>25203237
I got one:
>be me at a hunting/sporting goods store in my hometown
>some girl waves at me
>wave back
>her dad gives me a glare like he's going to murder me
>I didn't even know the girl
>>25202174
iktf brother, suicide mode engaged this day
>>25203229
because his mummy bought him the wrong size face-cozy for the EDL rally
>>25203325
How did it make it better?
>>25202113
>>25202146
>>25202167
O I am laffin. Now I have to listen to Sitting on the Dock of the Bay. Thaks.
>>25203845
because I was high on lsd. it was epic
