Anybody else ever worry that they wouldn't be able to truly love their partner if they were able to get one?
If I were able to even get a gf it wouldn't matter because I have no clue what love even is. I never feel strongly about anything, especially relationships. I at best feel comfortable around someone and most the time just don't feel anything?
Am I broken or something? Is there a word for this? It's like some kind of turbo apathy.
I feel like it's an extension of anhedonia. I'm the same exact way. Diagnosed clinical depression, on meds, blah blah etc.
I've had two "real" relationships, both of which were apparently crazy over me. Both said they loved me yet I felt nothing for them. And they're not bad people. They had their faults, but they were kind and caring. I just had no emotion in it at all. The only reason I invested any time in them is because I thought it was the "right" thing to do for a person who showed this much affection toward me, like I was transactionally validating their feelings with my presence.
Looking back on them I realize that that is not how a normal well adjusted person looks at relationships. The reason I haven't pursed another one is because I have literally no idea what the fuck I would do with another person.
>>25190968
I've never been diagnosed with depression and I don't take any medication. But you situation definitely resonates with me, I just do things because I feel obligated. That's it's just what I should be doing at the time.
>>25191069
>I just do things because I feel obligated. That's it's just what I should be doing at the time.
My entire life in a nutshell brother. I just do things because that's what's expected of me. My biggest fear in social situations is being asked "what do you do for fun?" because i literally don't have fun.
Honestly if you feel little to no pleasure with most things that's a big red flag for depression. Not trying to diagnose you or anything but you might wanna look into it. I mean being diagnosed and taking meds has helped me a little, but I've still got the same issues you mentioned in your OP, so I dunno if that's the solution you need.