There is no point. All I've ever wanted in life I cannot achieve. Day to day I realize that the happiest people in life are probably those with honest addictions to hard drugs like heroin. At least they get to experience some form of happiness 2-3 times a week, it's months in between any bouts of happiness I have, at the very least.
Life is just misery, and pain. Neither I nor just about anyone else will ever truly have what they want in life, or even be happy for most of their lives. What is the point? There is none whatsoever.
How do I live without a goal? Without a purpose? With only misery putting me to sleep at night?
>>25188736
That feel, I know it.
I do know what I want in life. I just wasn't born with the right genetic profile to be able to achieve it. The curse was placed at birth.
I often wonder, what's the point in trying now? I could be a millionaire, I could be wealthy, loved, and popular. It wouldn't mean anything to me. There's nothing I want in life more than my dream.
>>25188838
I'm glad someone else understands this absurd pain.
It wouldn't matter. Even if I was incredibly good looking, 10/10 in every aspect of my life, rich, popular, loved by everyone, I could never attain what I want to attain.
Life is empty, and meaningless, cruel and cold. Everything I do, every second of every day that I don't have what I want, is just existing. It's nothing more than settling for misery.
I just want to die. I want to end it all but I can't bring myself to do that to my father.
But what do I have? Escapism only goes so far. Food only goes so far. Hell, even sex only goes so far.
I've reached a point beyond caring about sex, food, my appearance, anything besides my closest family. I am absurdly and profoundly depressed. Nothing helps. I just need drugs.
I used to tell myself I would never touch a drug in my life. My mother is a hopeless alcoholic. I saw the misery it brings. But if I live alone and work only for rent, food, and drugs, life might be okay. I can honestly say I see no reason to be anything but a junkie.
Life is misery.
>>25188970
There's nothing for us TO do. I've just approached it in the usual way. I try to push the intrusive thoughts out of my mind. A type of music is always playing, that or stream. Reading books, making OC, watching cartoons. ANYTHING which takes my mind off my situation
But then something intrudes on my peacefulness. Then, I'll be jolted out of my distractions and be forced to face reality. My dream will never come true
This is fucking hell. Why was I born inferior? Why wasn't I aborted
>>25189139
I know that feeling my friend.
Something always intrudes. Something must always remind us of what we don't have, can't have. It is hell.
Life is cruel.
>>25188838
>I do know what I want in life. I just wasn't born with the right genetic profile to be able to achieve it. The curse was placed at birth.
This describes my situation so perfectly. It's a bittersweet feeling to find someone else in a position that so closely mirrors my own.
God bless anon, whoever you are
May I ask all of you what your dreams or objectives are, and why you are ultimately unable to achieve them? I am in no way trying to invalidate or doubt your assessments in regards to the impossibility of your goals. I am merely curious about them, as I find myself in a similar situation, although my aspirations are probably still possible, albeit extremely unlikely.
>>25188736
>>25188838
>>25188970
>>25189139
>>25189187
>>25189318
>>25189616
Smoke weed every day faggots
>>25189616
I don't want to flesh them out too much, but basically there is a girl I love that I cannot have. I accept that I can never have her and that's okay. Even if I didn't love her, I have nothing else in my life that I want. No passion, no calling, nothing. The only thing I want besides her are children, but I cannot have those either, as I found out I am infertile pretty recently. I would adopt but single men usually cannot, and what's more, I would vastly prefer a biological child.
So I wait for death.
enjoying the pictures, blessed anon.
I am a poly-drug addict. I cycle through drugs before I develop a tolerance to them. Dissociatives are my favorite because they take away all anxiety, pain, and make the world seem like a beautiful place to live in. It feels like the only way to live for me. My body feels so wrong in its natural state. I feel like killing myself every time I'm sober. It's not from the drugs, because I've felt the same way before I ever even tried any. The day I first did drugs, something just clicked and I realized this is the only way I'm ever going to be happy or able to live my life. Since then, I've been able to do well in school, get a job, and I'm in several academic research program where I study nano-materials. I don't know what to tell you. Therapy helps a lot. I've been seeing a therapist for half a year and it feels like I've made a lot of progress. Medication can help too. Try to get hobbies, they help a lot to build a routine for your life, even if they don't give you ecstatic warmth like drugs do. It's a more meaningful wellness.
>>25189780
Thanks family, I'm glad.
>>25189787
I don't think drugs are going to change my DNA.
>>25189787
This is what I've been considering doing. Just living life and being a functional addict. I would prefer to take psychedelics in the hope that maybe I can experience my fantasy reality occasionally. Otherwise, dissociatives and opiates sound good.
I'm off to bed now anons. I hope you all can find some purpose. God knows I miss the days when all I felt was
>tfw no gf
>>25189616
My passion is historical european martial arts - fencing with longswords, polearms, that sort of thing
Unfortunately the average practitioner is around 6'0" tall - for an example, note the countries of origin of the practitioners in pic related
Due to the nature of the art, it is necessary that duelists be of commensurate builds in order to spar, not only to ensure fairness, but also because many techniques described in the fencing manuals that are used to teach the art can only be used if your opponent is of similar size/height
I'm 5'6", which essentially disqualifies me for life. Not a day goes by that I don't consider suicide because of this. I don't give a damn about getting a girlfriend or relationships of any kind. I don't want a career or a lot of money or fancy cars or any of that shit.
Honestly, I could be the world's ugliest, poorest 6'0" guy and be the happiest person I know. It doesn't even matter if I have to stay non-white. This is all I've ever wanted and all I will ever want.
>>25189675
>>25189780
>>25189787
>>25189807
r>>25189838
Fucking blaze the kush
You niggers will feel bette
Suitable reading
http://www.suicidology-online.com/pdf/SOL-2013-4-16-20.pdf
Find a hobby. Think about the subjects you liked growing up in school.
Read books.
Go lift.
Find weird antique stuff or go visit museums.
Get into a D&D group.
Go camping or fishing or hunting.
Bowl, or play pool. Try tournaments if that's your thing.
Build your own computer.
Learn how a car works.
Figure out woodworking or metalworking.
Go see /po/ to get started about papercraft.
Collect all the animu Blu-Rays and figma.
Figure out a coding language.
Acquire hobbies.
>>25189948
So what? Escapism? I've done it. All results being the same, I'd prefer to do it at home. It's easier at home.
>>25189863
oh u kno i blaze my man
>>25189860
I know you, you're the spanish bro or something similar that was into this stuff.
What about VR or some kind of game in the near future? People have realized their dreams and lifetime desires through other means. Don't give up just yet.
>>25190037
No, just find stuff to do that you enjoy. At worst you substitute hedonism for nihilism and existential dread.
Fun things are fun.
>>25190176
>he doesn't suffer from anhedonia
Get the fuck out normie
>>25190088
>I know you, you're the spanish bro or something similar that was into this stuff.
You got it, my friend. Hope you're doing alright, whoever you are
I like to think that I haven't given up yet, because I'm still alive. If I had given up, I'd have worked up the will to kill myself, even though I'm afraid to die just like everyone else.
I'm not really sure what I'm hoping for. I'd like to be positive and believe that one day, before I'm too old, I'll be able to have some kind of surgery to make myself taller.
So I just keep going, hours slowly turning to days, and so on.
I guess the only thing I know for sure is that it'll all be over someday if I just wait long enough, whether that means I can make my dream come true or I eventually lose it and kill myself.
>>25188736
Living can be somewhat difficult for those that realize life itself has no intrinsic meaning. Just go day-to-day and then die. Welcome to the rest of your life where nothing actually matters and everyone is looking to get something from you.
I recommend a 9mm pill taken orally or a fear of nonexistence to help get you through the day.
I feel very strange at this point in my life. I find myself in a sort of ambivalence where I can perceive and acknowledge the futility of both concrete and abstracted things, but at the same time find myself creating subjective meaning to life through a set of dreams and aspirations that I desire to turn into reality. I finally see that there's nothing more to life than living it and then no more, but I still crave for a meaningful one. Being torn like this has made me not be able to live in either way. I cannot live without caring, due to a longing for meaning, nor can I work towards my dreams, due to their lack of objective value.
You guys know what I want the most?
I wish I could pay an old couple to be my parents. And let me spoil them with my money, and they spoil me with affection and hugs.
My real parents abused me (physical and emotional, thankfully not sexual), but I'm free now. Still, the one thing I'll never have is a happy childhood. I envy everyone who's ever had so much as cookies and milk served to them after playing outside.
I'm an engineer now, and even my coworkers express confusion at the fact that I'm so close with the ~40 year old operators, than the young hot women in the office.
I can't help but be drawn to anyone who shows me the slightest bit of parental affection.
>>25188736
>happiness
>>25189787
>happy
>>25189780
>enjoying
>>25189860
>passion
>>25189860
>happiest person
>>25191760
>happy
>>25191251
>caring
>>25190311
>I can make my dream come true
>>25190176
>Fun things
>>25190088
>dreams
>>25190088
>Don't give up
>>25189838
>hope
>>25189616
>dreams
>>25189318
>God
>>25191885
I don't understand the joke
>>25192424
nobody does
>>25188736
>Francis Bacon
My African-American companion.
>>25188970
>>25188838
ty all for articulating my exact opinion better than i ever could, and taking the fall for writing edgy special snowflake posts describing it.
>tfw going to wake up tomorrow to have a cup of coffee and a slice of raisin toast
>tfw going to do the same the next day
>and the next day
>and the next
literally as far as my ambitions lie. i do not enjoy life. this is not what i wanted. i do not want to change. i want to die.
>>25188736
If you wish to make a man happy add not to his riches but take away from his desires.
You seem troubled about your expectations of the universe. Why SHOULD life have a goal? Why SHOULD life have a purpose? If you naively expect these from your experience of existence of course you'll be disappointed when reality doesn't deliver on your rose tinted aspirations. If you wish to extract joy or at the very least contentment from an existential world you have to accept with open arms that which is given to you by causality, even your natural emotional resentment to it. When wanting desperately something you cannot have ask not why you cannot have ask not why you can't have but ask yourself why you want it.
Only you have the power to shoulder the burden of your life.
>>25188736
You don't know what you're talking about beedeeboo.
https://youtu.be/-XfP58clo1I
I live with one very improbable purpose. I'll probably never achieve it, but I'll try because that's what people do. I believe it's possible because everything is possible. I feel the pain, the misery, but that's life and there's nothing I can do to stop it. So I live. I accept. And I try.
