Life Thread

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Okay here's a story that's basically just so I can write it down and get it off my chest.
>be around 13
>middle school
>start talking to qt3.14 gril
>head over heels
>actually, too far
>somewhat of an obsession
>but she likes me back and we start dating
>youremakingitworse.jpeg
>enables my dependent personality
>we get to know each other
>be beta about it and take 7 months to ask her out
>even date other chicks during this time, but just to make her jealous
>somehow, she still wants to be with me after all this time
>now, before all this, I was pretty shy, but played sports had some close friends and was generally happy
>we date and start doing things we shouldn't have done at 13, but no sex
>break up before I can tap dat
>fuckmylifeisover.sobstory
>yeah yeah I know, but who wasn't dumb as a teenager
>go crazy over her
>seriously not necessary
>start the drugs and the alcohols and fast forward
>high school
>me and my stupid friends decide it would be cool to break in some places to steal alcohol and shit
>eventually get caught, luckily only by parents
>feel horrible over it
>yet I don't
>I realize I have problems now
>anxiety, depression, addiction even
>but these are only the first layer of this nasty onion that still hasn't peeled
>decide to straighten up
>don't
>continue to junior year
>get serious about straightening up
>have shit social life
>don't open up, I assume because my brain thinks if I do it'll go through all that again
>read dale carnegie and lift
>join wrestling team
>lose anxiety and depression
>but
>there's still something not right
>I'm avoidant
>can't open up or talk to people
>freeze up in conversation, which is weird because I thought if I felt acted and looked confident, I would be
>try to open up
>am still struggling
Idk what to do, but I'm trying to improve myself. I haven't even had a gf since 8th grade bc of this shit and just wanted to get that off my chest. AMA, discuss, share experiences and how life has been to you.