Hello 4chan.org/r9k! Danny from Coca-Cola's Internet Marketing Department here.
My bosses told me sales this month have been down and research has shown that there are 30% fewer internet purchases of Coca-Cola compared to this time last year.
Did we do something to upset you, Anonymous? Don't you want the delicious fun taste of Coca-Cola in your mouth right now? You know it will really help you wash down your tendies.
If you could offer any feedback on why you bought less Coca-Cola recently, and leave your email address, I'll hook you up with a coupon for a free 2L of Coca-Cola.
Thank you!
- Danny
Coca Cola
> Internet Marketing Department
Hi yes please I would like sum cola my email is [email protected]
I'll bite. Might be interesting. And go post timestamp too
Because it's fucking unhealthy.
I used to drink a litre of that shit every day and i'm glad i stopped
>>25179652
Call me once there's a pepe edition Coke and I'll buy
>>25179682
Hello Pepe!
I can't send you the coupon unless you share some feedback with us about why you've drunk less Coca-Cola recently.
Also I'm pretty sure you're well aware of the policy that Coca-Cola representatives are not allowed to converse together with Pepsi representatives in a public forum, right, Pepe?
Thank you!
- Danny
Coca Cola
> Internet Marketing Department
It tastes bad compared to juice, and even arab soda tastes better, and it fucks your teeth.
Sure, it tastes better than pepsi or water, but I would ditch both for juice.
>>25179727
Hello Anonymous!
I'm sorry you feel that way. I'll have you know that many doctors endorse drinking Coca-Cola and in fact many doctors drink a liter a day themselves.
Even though you were kind of an asshole, if you post your email here I can still send you a coupon for a free 2L of Coca-Cola.
- Danny
Coca Cola
> Internet Marketing Department
>>25179761
Hello Anonymous!
I'm sorry, did you mean a Pepsi Addition Coca-Cola?
You might not be aware that Pepsi and the superior Coca-Cola have an agreement that their products are never to be sold mixed together. You can make a Pepsi Addition to your own Coca-Cola that you purchased in the privacy of your own home, however.
Thank you!
- Danny
Coca Cola
> Internet Marketing Department
>>25179818
Hello Anonymous!
Many dentists drink Coca-Cola, so your argument about it "fucking your teeth" is pure slander.
Juice has been studied and found to cause cancer, in fact. If I were you I would stick to Coca-Cola.
Danny
Coca Cola
> Internet Marketing Department
It tastes worse than dolphin jizz, and believe me when I say I know what both of those taste like.
if only this were real it would be fucking hilarious
>>25179918
>implying dolphin jizz isn't great
>>25179652
I fucking love coke <3
>>25180000
checked
those are honestly some sweet repeating digits
>>25180000
Hi Anonymous!
My good sir that was quite a good set of quads on your praise for Coca-Cola! I might be able to bend the rules just a bit if you post your email address, even though you didn't give us feedback, a little honest praise for our delicious beverage shouldn't go unrewarded!
- Danny
Cocal Cola
> Internet meming deparment
>>25180105
Sure here we go buddy
[email protected]
Cherry Coke is my shit senpai
I bought some Coke today to mix with ny Jager
>delicious fun taste
pls b bait
keep ur diabetes water
I didnt buy it this month because Justin Trudeau the weed man is cutting my neet bux to give more money to the refugees(Who don't drink coke) if you could lobby some money towards kicking out the fucking refugees I would gladly keep supporting your product. Until then I have to go to my local nofrills grocery store and buy the knock off shit called "Original Kola" for 25 cents a can. Reee. Email address [email protected]
[email protected]
i would love a free 2L
>>25179652
>30% fewer
30% less.
Always use "less". "Less" is always correct with countable nouns and with uncountable nouns.
>>25179652
I would be most appreciative if you went back to the old ways of putting Cocaine in your drink
>>25179652
lack of dinosaurs in your marketing
>>25179652
I don't drink coke, but I do use it fairly regularly to clean tools, floors, and other stuff. It works great to get rid of rust and/or blood. I haven't used it as much recently because I haven't had too clean up after as many dead hookers. But I thank you for making such an excellent and discrete cleaning product.
Soda is bad for you, especially cola.
If you drink it with a meal, the carbonation neutralizes the acids in your stomach, making you take longer to digest the food.
>Today, I'm going to pretend to be a Coca-Cola employee
>>25179900
>If I were you I would stick to Coca-Cola
Good thing you're not me you shill wagecuck.
I'll stick with water.
>>25179652
because it tastes like shit made by a bunch of worthless faggots
>>25183937
He's holding that glass wrong. The point of wine glasses is that you can hold it from the stem so the warmth of your hand doesn't heat up the wine and distort it's flavor
Disgusting...
I haven't drank coke in years, but you niggers keep trying to get my state to scrap bottle collection schemes and it's giving me the shits. Oh no 1% less profit per bottle sold for a guaranteed increase in recycling efforts, what a disaster, surely the solution is just adding more recycling bins?
>>25179652
Because you will never have a mascot as great as PEPSI MAN
I drink Pepsi
Also my teeth are starting to rot
I'll bite.
I haven't been drinking Coca Cola because I haven't been drinking alcohol lately. The only time I really drink Coca Cola is when I have it in a Jack and Coke.
>>25179652
Remove phosphorous from your soda, it damages my skeleton bones
>>25179652
you can buy coke online? Why? The delivery fee for something so heavy seems like it would make it more expensive than it would be worth
This you?
This comment is very original
the cost of food has risen a lot. it sank in a few years ago when i officially switched from cans to 2Ls. now, my grocery budget is larger and eats away at my NEETbux so I tend to just buy 1 or 2 at a time instead of going to the supermarket and going for "The Deal" being poor makes it truly hard to plan ahead financially. especially if you know that having a lot around means you'll definitely drink it faster
>>25184452
good
drink coke fag
_danny
>>25179652
Because I can't find the best flavor of Coca Cola (tm) available anymore, which is vanilla coke. Also, I didn't know you could order it online until now. Maybe making more publicity about the internet service would be a good idea.
>30% fewer internet purchases of Coca-Cola
but I don't buy Coke online you fucking retard
