![SWAT-Police-Raid1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/MxeKOGU.jpg "SWAT-Police-Raid1[1].jpg")
>"COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP VIRGIN! WE KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE CREEP!"
sorry officer i didnt meant ot upset teh whatevr
You can have meIf you can find me, General
What are they going to do? Kill me or rape me? either one solves the problem.
>>25178538
Wrong house nigga the last time I fucked was like 10 years ago. I'm a non virgin that can't get a date, that's a different story.
>>25178782
Yeah. Thank god there is no way to know for shure. That would never stick in court.
Finally, a good, creative shitpost.
how does one prove a guy is a virgin?
>>25178591
holy fuck the nostalgia
>>25178818
See if he has piss bottles and anime posters in his room.
>>25178818
Does he blush when he holds a woman's hands?
>live in moralfag Canada.
>one time clicked on a CP link on /b/ back in the day.
>still live in fear that the police will kick down my door.
>hear sirens occasionally.
>tfw sit in room in fear and wait.
>>25178830
what if he has anime posters but fucks girls still? anime posters don't mean a guy has no game, it probably means he just fucks really ugly chicks. still not a virgin, had sex.
>>25178818
Sweat samples.
Women can smell virginity on your sweat.
>>25178538
Honestly, fuck. I'd just roll with it, so long as I get solitary confinement and games and shit. No work, just locked up in my own little room with games and books, 3 meals a day no payin'. Taxpayer money hard at work to stop us crazed virgin mass shooters.
I'd be all in.
The only reason I wouldn't want in, is if they wanted to do some "rehabilitation" bullshit tryin' to get me to talk and open up to some basic bitches.
>>25178818
Does he care about a girl's past instead of thinking about her as a sexual receptacle?
>>25178538
shit thread, shit thread opener
>Dat feel when one day feminazis will make it illegal to be a male virgin.
>>25178975
>tfw you and friends have planned to move to Saudi Arabia if the femi-nazis ever get enough power.
It'll be the only safe place on earth..
>>25178885
thats more of a cuck test I think
>sister marries a cop
>always feel like he knows what I fap to and look up on the internet.
>fearful he knows I savelolis, look at fart / scat porn, etc
>a cop also moved in down the street.
>tfw they're onto you.
>>25178818
Lots of people think/accuse me of being a virgin. They're always surprised when I show them a pic of me with my gf. So there's probably no 100% way to diagnose virginity.
but officer,
>I CUT MY ARMS OFF
>I CUT THEM OFF
>NOWWWWWWWWWWWW
>>25178818
sweaty palms are a dead giveaway
>>25179370
>gay emo music
>Virgin
checks out
>>25178538
>I-IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME KIND OF M-MISTAKE!
>YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY!
>W-WHAT EVIDENCE DO YOU HAVE?
>>25178538
You know this day will come.
They just tolerate you for now, but one day the law will pass, they will kick your door, drag you out and take away your pee bottles.
The male virgins problem will not be tolerated for long. Let us enjoy the days we have left before the first raids, and try to waste our lives more than ever.
>>25179223
this is why I don't believe people that there is 100% sure fire way of knowing.
>>25179683
>mfw I'm /fit/
>mfw I have will have a generic Chad body in about one more year
>mfw they will automatically believe me when I say I'm not a virgin
>mfw I get to shit post for another few decades longer
>mfw I will be the last wizard
Virgin greentext thread?
>it is Year 34, Year of our lord obama
>be me, 17 year old cishet male, privilege category 2 alpha
>my birthday tomorrow
>excited to see if my parents bought me Call of Warface: Grey Operations 23
>on my way to my local privilege re-education centre
>in herstory we were told this was once called "school"
>after 4 hours I had learned 3 new ways to check my privilege and completed an essay on the herstory of trans poc feminism
>sit by myself at lunchtime because no friends
>Playing Dawn of War 5 on shit laptop despite my previous detentions for playing vidya during "social hour"
>usual quiet talking around me
>suddenly there is screaming in my ears
>RAAAAAAAPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>laquenishalletateta the trans black polydemisexkin tigerkin doplhinsexual queer intersectional peramisexinist has seen my vidya
>ohshit.jpg
>there's another detention for me
>have to stay an hour extra and write a letter of
apology for my rape of laquenishalletateta
>go home depressed, as usual
>wake up the next morning
>birthday time
>rush downstairs
>mum and dad are not here
>wut
>sudden loud banging at the door
>OPEN UP! WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE
>oh shit did I forget my weekly oestrogen injection again
>door is blasted open
>I stand, frozen in terror
>maidens of health rush in in all their 400lb glory
>knock me down
>WE'VE GOT HIM! WE'VE GOT HIM!
>YOU ARE UNDER ARREST ON SUSPICION OF ADULT VIRGINITY
>tears stream down my face as I am dragged away
>due to my privilege status I am not entitled to due process
>taken in front of the judge who immediately sentences me to life imprisonment and chemical castration
>xe shakes xer head slowly
>"This could have been prevented, anon"
>I gaze up at xer face through my tears
>"H-How...?"
>"By just being yourself of course! Did you learn nothing at your centre? Take him away!"
>mfw
>>25179842
>rape a girl
>still a virgin
Feels bad man
>>25178538
little do they know i have petrol bombs buried all around the perimeter of my house
![[Zero-Raws] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 08 (TBS 1280x720 x264 AAC).mp4_snapshot_20.22_[2013.09.01_15.07.15] copie11.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/o1ZxoHA.jpg "[Zero-Raws] Stella Jogakuin Koutouka C3-bu - 08 (TBS 1280x720 x264 AAC).mp4_snapshot_20.22_[2013.09.01_15.07.15] copie11.jpg")
>>25178538
Are you threatening me master Normi ?
>>25178848
>back in the day.
You mean today?
>>25179916
by law only category a1 rape counts as losing virginity, category d3 and below does not
If I used only a portion of my manna I could annihilate half the planet. So you better not mess with me.
>be virgin
>have tulpa
>tulpa is well-made and real enough to me
>fuck tulpa
>be physical virgin
>but not mental virgin
I tell people I'm not a virgin by this logic but I don't explain the logic of course. I'm fucking retarded to genuinely believe this
>[muffled hare hare yukai inside]
>>25179917
>petrol
>bombs
Confirmed for not having read the Anarchist's Cookbook.
>>25179088
Just what is it that's so cute about a girl farting?
Can't stand when guys do it though. It's gross.
>>25179842
>xe shakes xer head
top kek m8
>>25180075
I don't know Anon.
But I'm a big ass guy. Though I think when it comes to the farting side of it.Society always paints women as these clean, neat not gross people. So when they fart and shit, it's pretty hot.In all honestly, I think my sister helped me develop this fetish because she would sit on me and fart on me, etc. It's really fucked up.
