it's an impossible dream that we shouldn't even try to make happen, honestly. right?
so anyway this thread will probably just be about "omg u trans so mental illness" like every other thread i post in here. but yeah i'm clinically depressed mtf with hardcore self-esteem issues and it would be great if you could be semi-attractive not fat guy who is smart and nice.
> it would be great if you could be semi-attractive not fat guy who is smart and nice.
You forgot to mention gay
>>25167396
Well..things will get better, life is all about being fucked over and moving forward, it makes your good moments even better...you'll find someone that like you for what you are so keep your chin up :)
I met a girl off 4chan and we dated for a few months. It does happen.
>>25167436
i'm really trying not to be negative in response to your post. it's difficult.
i very clearly will not find someone unless something changes. like i need to actively look for one somehow. i'm almost 30 already and no one has ever been interested so yeah. don't tell me things like i'll find someone who likes me for what i am.
>clinically depressed
same familia
>semi-attractive
i hope so
>not fat
yup
>guy
yup
>smart
I think so
>nice
i hope so
I'm also bi so that penis between your legs doesn't bother me. What do I win?
Hopefuly you'll find someone. Don't give up just yet, alright?
>>25167474
you win nothing because 4chan dating isn't a real thing and you live billions of miles from me.
>>25167467
Well, have you started searching?
>>25167525
i don't understand this sentence? searching for what? guys?
if so, not really. i'm scared to.
I would never date a girl who uses 4chan, especially not one who posts on /r9k/
>>25167396
It seems to be working out perfectly fine for me. I've known a very sweet man from /v/ and we've been together for over a year.
I've heard a few stories of other people actually living together or moving across the world for someone from the site.
>>25167481
>billions of miles
The earth's circumference is only 24,000 miles, so unless you're on another planet I doubt that.
>4chan dating isn't a real thing
You don't totally buy that because if you did you wouldn't make this thread.
Hi, OP. I remember you from the thread a few days (a week?) ago, but it was on something else. I forget what, I just recognize your writing style and your use of the term "nice." I hope you're the same person as last time.
If you never try you will never succeed, so there's always that. I mean if you literally don't try it's a zero % chance, whereas if you try it's infinitely better than zero. Even if it's 0.000000000000000000000000000000001% now, lel
If you're a passable MtF you souldn't have so many troubles.
>i'm a fucking wreck but itd be cool if you were Chad
trannies are hilarious
>>25167481
At least post your location. If you're in Uganda the odds are not good. If it's any first world country you might find someone if you try every day for a year or w/e.
>>25167542
Well yeah, of curse you're goin to be scared, but that'd because you re not used to it, check your tastes and try to experiment a little, got out with a friends and make New acquainteces, at first without second intentions, and if you feel It can work with someone you Let it grow
I met my gf on /r9k/ 40 months ago now
Feels good man
>>25167558
i was measuring in figurative miles. the distance between us is insurmountable. not because of the LITERAL distance, though i guess that's part of it.
>>25167570
was i complaining about not having a bf and futility trying to find one? that was maybe me. what does trying even mean here? i'm honestly confused by this. afraid to put myself up on tinder and dating sites because i think coworkers and people will see it and that's embarrassing. and i can't talk to guys irl because i stutter and say stupid things and am awkward. why do we have to do these things just to find someone who might possibly like us? i wish we could be friends first and then fall in love but i don't have friends.
>>25167584
>>25167592
>>25167598
normies desu
>>25167635
Yeah im pretty normie myself, Still thats my two cents on the matter, just trying to help
>fucked up tranny retard trying to meet guys on /r9k/
Nigger are you retarded? Fuck off to one of the containment boards created for this type of shit, or better yet fuck off to tumblr with the rest of the mentally ill faggots
>>25167635
>was i complaining about not having a bf and futility trying to find one?
I don't actually remember, we had some conversation and it ended when I had to go to sleep because of homework. It might have been someone else.
I understand not wanting to use tinder or dating sites since I don't want to either. If you have a nerd hobby you could try going to nerd places where you'll get attention no matter what from people who don't care if you stutter and are 9/10 times not going to care about the whole penis issue. That might be a good start but on the other hand when I go to my local gaming store I usually can't even manage to talk to neckbeards about my actual hobby, so this strategy would be entirely reliant on them approaching you I think.
>>25167669
Even if you think she's (inb4 he spam) mentally ill then isn't that basically the main qualifier for posting here anyway?
>>25167635
Then why don't you just add a nice robot on Skype and talk to him? Most of us are just as awkward as you, so it's not like we're going to judge you for it. Even if you are really far away, having someone to talk to and receive affection from is better than nothing, at least I think so.
My husband and I met on r9k a few years ago after I made a shitty bait thread. We were both virgins when we met, both NEET, now we're living together with disposable income.
It was really nice to have someone to better yourself with.But you will never meet anyone, OP. You're disgusting and mentally ill. Please seek proper help.
Go download a gay AIDS hookup app where you can find guys to poz up your """""vagina"""""
>>25167653
sorry. thanks for being nice and trying. i'm in a bad mood and have no bf is all.
>>25167677
idk was maybe me. i'm usually more fun. sometimes i think book club owuld be fun? but i'm not old lady or young college student so that's out i guess. i don't do like magic cards, LAN parties or whatever nerd things people are into. kinda don't have time anyway. idk maybe i should kill myself lol.
>>25167702
sometimes i try this. we never talk for long and i can never make like a real connection with anyone. plus i kinda feel like everyone my age on 4chan is gonna be crazy and not worth talking to so much.
>>25167721
i'm glad everything worked out for you. thanks for making me feel ugly and unwanted.
>>25167747
i've done the CL sex thing. it sucks. ridiculously awkward and sort of fun sex followed by crushing loneliness and self-hatred.
>>25167781
>idk was maybe me
Yeah it was, having read your writing style further. If it makes you remember you (jokingly, in retrospect, I think) said something along the lines of "maybe we could be friends."
It doesn't really matter though, the point is that you do have to do something. I'm admittedly not the best for this sort of advice since I rarely ever do anything except hang out with 1 friend. So I'm mostly just grasping in the dark here. But to me book club sounds fun and potentially could lead to meeting some who is both smart and nice. You don't have to be any specific age to join a book club, just find some in your area and email them or whatever asking what age the members are generally.
>maybe i should kill myself
Nah, life has intrinsic value. Why are you so busy? If your job sucks consider changing that before considering suicide.
>>25167781
You should kill yourself 2bh
>>25167781
>we never talk for long and I can never make a real connection?
Is that because of them or you? If they aren't trying that's one thing, but if you're just non-receptive to conversation that's another.
>everyone my age on 4chan is gonna be crazy
Can't help you there, I'm pretty sure that was you that said you were 30, and I'm 18, so if you're looking for people your age I can't help.
>>25167781
please kill yourself, and make it original
>>25167860
did we chat outside of 4chan? i have shit memory from being druggie in my past life. not much i can do about the job thing. i'm trying hard to be better in life and in our cultures that values working overtime over sleep i feel fucked there. got a late start on the whole "being a productive member of society" thing and that's trying.
maybe i'll just keep working out and hope someone notices me.
>>25167876
probably because of me. sometimes i'm fun but a lot of the time i get tired of people and realize i need to get shit done a lot more than talk to people online.
>>25167887
oh shut your face.
>>25167396
you're fucked in the head, just kill yourself so we can get closer to making this a mental illness again instead of encouraging this shit.
>>25167930
Nah I gave you my email though. I guess it's possible there are two traps who post similar things late at night on /r9k/ with almost identical sentence structures. It really doesn't matter.
> not much i can do about the job thing. i'm trying hard to be better in life and in our cultures that values working overtime over sleep i feel fucked there
Yeah I know that feel. Not much to do about this indeed. It might be worth taking a less demanding job in the same field if that becomes an option at some point. I don't know how serious you were being about the suicide but if it gets to that point then quit your shit and find the chillest of chill jobs and just be a hermit, that's my alternate plan. It would probably get lonely but w/e I'll buy a dog.
Working out is never a bad plan either. It might eventually help out with your self esteem if it's not dysphoria-related.
>>25167396
Location, OP? Would you be okay with a fuck-and-chuck?
How old are you lady?
>>25167781
>i've done the CL sex thing.
oh. yeah nah i'm good.fuck it, i'll throw some extra condoms on if you're near the carolinas
>>25168032
oh i think i remember you. at leas the email part. it's kinda weird you're studying my sentence structure. sometimes i want to make online friends and start to try to, but then realize that it's pointless and will probably just make me worse in the long run. the last thing i need is another reason to spend my limited free time online.
my job is the least demanding job in my field. it's easy, but active work. and when your shit coworkers keep quitting you end up working 16 hour shifts because not having people working is NOT an option.
>>25168055
no. no more. i want someone i can talk to and be close with...
>>25168076
late 20s
>>25168105
oh fuck off. i'm paranoid about HIV and have been tested. not that i want you to fuck me anyway.
>>25168145
>it's kinda weird you're studying my sentence structure
I can't help the autism, sorry if it's offputting though. I naturally pick up on small differences in how people speak or type, and so I often recognize specific /r9k/ posters.
>the last thing i need is another reason to spend my limited free time online.
Go read a book. It's for the best.
>and when your shit coworkers keep quitting you end up working 16 hour shifts because not having people working is NOT an option.
That is unfortunate but only so many people can quit, right? Eventually you should have more time.
>>25168179
do you like talking to me? i read books but not often enough these days. could respond with more negativity about jobs, school, and time but i guess that's not doing me any favors.
how long have you been posting on r9k?
lately i've been having a bad time because of trans stuff. i've spent thousands of dollars on facial hair removal over like 9 months and sometimes it's like fuck yeah my facial hair isn't even noticeable. but hair grows in cycles, and i'm at a point where there's obvious shadow once again and i'm like hating myself really hard. not that you asked to know any of that but yeah.
>>25167396
>I'm a mentally ill fuckwit
>please be way, way out of my league, even though I have literally nothing to offer you
At least you're imitating women correctly
>>25167396
Fucking mentally Ill freak. Your not a woman.
>>25168223
well why can't i have kind intelligent bf who's also cute? it's not asking so much. i'm nice and smart myself.
>>25168145
>>not that i want you to fuck me anyway.
>says the 30 year old ugly tranny faggot on /r9k/
as if, babygirl, as if.
>>25167467
Tbqh, I'm an attractive normie with a mental illness and I work with a mtf girl who sits beside my quarter. it's quite clear she has a thing for me, she's constantly telling me how she's got no one on her life and she's pretty lonely and only watches anime and plays video games. She seems to want to know what I'm doing every lunch break and can never quite seem to ask me if I want to do something after work. I find it incredibly amusing to flirt at times in a passive way and suddenly go back to being normal to confuse her. I've had people in the office tell me she has a huge crush on me but won't admit it. It was hilarious to watch her reaction telling her about girls I've been with, showing photos of pretty young chicks I've fucked. I know this is absolutely killing her inside because she's a massive shut in and I'm her oneitis.
I don't even have a problem with trans people I just really enjoy psychologically abusing people because it satisfies some primal urge inside me.
>>25168222
>do you like talking to me?
I wouldn't be responding if it was a bad experience. I also enjoy attempting to give advice, even though it is admittedly shitty since I have very little social experience. I hope at least something has been moderately helpful though, even if just as a distraction.
>how long have you been posting on r9k?
I posted on the board before it got axed, whenever that was. Time pretty much all blends together for me t.b.h.
>but hair grows in cycles
Is it eventually permanent removal? I thought there was some sort of laser or electrical method of removing it permanently. At least you are making progress, even if there's shadow that's better than "I have a full beard fml"
>not that you asked to know any of that but yeah.
That's okay, I at least partially understand. Bifag degenerate reporting in so I get the self-hate part.
>>25168260
Seek help, friend.
>>25168250
it's actually asking for a lot when you're so severely mentally ill that you believe you've been born the wrong gender, you should be happy with what you can get.
>>25168285
No
I'm happy as I am, I even have a gf who knows nothing about my urges, I've never done anything to directly hurt someone
>>25168260
it actually hurt to read this. please stop torturing her. you have no idea how it makes her feel.
>>25168271
yeah. if we talked for more than a few posts i'm sure it was because you were interesting and nice. i like nice people. hair removal confuses the fuck out of me. i hear so many different things. but it's helping so i'll keep going, no matter the cost.
why would you hate yourself for being bi?
>>25168250
Would you date a ftm?
Because that is your league.
You can want whatever you like, but don't EXPECT something that you should never have. You are not a woman, so an attractive/cute straight man would have no reason to be attracted to you. You are not a real man either (perhaps biologically) so gays won't be interested (or not attractive ones at least).
If you want to date, find another tranny.
>>25168350
i don't think i would date a ftm, no. would have a better chance with another mtf honestly, and even that would be really weird. it's not like i'm demanding anyone be attracted to me. just would be nice if maybe someone liked me a little and they were someone i liked back.
>>25168331
>i'm sure it was because you were interesting and nice
T-thanks, I think.
> i hear so many different things. but it's helping so i'll keep going, no matter the cost
Yeah as long as it's helping it's worth it. I don't really see the point in wasting money on dumb shit like alcohol (although I used to be an alcoholic so this is hypocritical) so something that I would qualify as self-improvement is much better. As long as it makes you feel better about yourself it's an improvement. Are hormones or whatever expensive as well or is that less of a problem?
>why would you hate yourself for being bi?
There are a number of reasons. I grew up in a very conservative place so if my family knew they would either disown me or be disappointed as fuck. I had a few friends in high school who I haven't kept in touch with but I imagine they would also be disgust/disappoint. It's also distressing for me in other ways but they're not that important. However I wasn't trying to imply it's equivalent to what being trans must be like, just that it also sucks and is sex/gender related. I imagine you have bigger problems but I don't want to make you explain that at length since it's not helpful.
>>25168260
So basically your acting like a Chad. Fuck off roastie.
>>25168395
Yeah i should have said Mtf was an option as well.
I just struggle to think why anyone would be attracted to you. It's not YOU specifically, but trans in general. I could be wrong, but I can't imagine why a straight person or a gay person would choose to be with you or any tranny. It's like taking the worst parts of both sexes and combining them with mental illness and insecurity+horrible looks as you age.
Unbelievably harsh post i realize, but it just doesn't add up to me.
>>25168488
Your wrong, your so very wrong.
I used to think this way, and never approached anyone or flirted or anything. Just me, my anime, and board games. In the end though guys would just start hitting on me, and keep trying to go out with me to the point where eventually i'd just have to tell them.
I have yet to have one be like "fuck no". Each time its been like , "Let me think about this" *few days later* "Fuck it your too hot*.
Now of course im fat and ugly cause im a shut in, BUT there was a time I was a stacey.
>>25168425
>T-thanks, I think.
it's nice to be nice :)
>Yeah as long as it's helping it's worth it. I don't really see the point in wasting money on dumb shit like alcohol (although I used to be an alcoholic so this is hypocritical) so something that I would qualify as self-improvement is much better. As long as it makes you feel better about yourself it's an improvement. Are hormones or whatever expensive as well or is that less of a problem?
oh hormones. yeah that stuff is expensive. especially when i need to see the endo every 6 months and have no insurance. i'm glad you're not an alcoholic anymore.
>There are a number of reasons. I grew up in a very conservative place so if my family knew they would either disown me or be disappointed as fuck. I had a few friends in high school who I haven't kept in touch with but I imagine they would also be disgust/disappoint. It's also distressing for me in other ways but they're not that important. However I wasn't trying to imply it's equivalent to what being trans must be like, just that it also sucks and is sex/gender related. I imagine you have bigger problems but I don't want to make you explain that at length since it's not helpful.
oh i see. you don't have to apologize for your sexuality sadness not being as big as mine. it's not a contest i just wanted to know. being trans is really hard sometimes. it's hard going outside, looking in mirrors, talking to people and doing things. i have tried to kill myself. but i'm basically okay now so whatever.
>>25168488
oh. yeah i guess you make some valid points, about how unattractive i must be to everyone. so i shouldn't expect friendship or love and that's fine. my life can probably still be worthwhile somehow.
>>25168324
you just told us how you enjoy causing suffering to others, like you do to that mtf co-worker
>>25168350
good luck finding a ftm thats not a "lesbian", the few there are are just dykes and are interested in only natural born women
>>25168545
>yeah that stuff is expensive. especially when i need to see the endo every 6 months and have no insurance.
ah yeah, if you're in America that's extra shitty. I think in Canada we cover at least some of it now but I might be wrong.
> i'm glad you're not an alcoholic anymore.
Thanks, anon. Me too lel.
>it's not a contest i just wanted to know. being trans is really hard sometimes. it's hard going outside, looking in mirrors, talking to people and doing things.
I know it would be an added expense you don't have time for now but have you done therapy before? I hear they are good for things related to body image. You could also do a full house mirror delete but then it would be hard to put on makeup and you might be mistaken for a vampire if you have anyone over.
>i have tried to kill myself
I did that one time when I was about 16 but it turns out hanging to death really hurts if your neck doesn't snap instantly. Would not recommend.
>>25168582
This is how shitheads like him justify it in their heads.. the people they are doing it to "aren't humans" .. he would never hurt anyone IMPORTANT ..
I'd date you OP, but you'd have to be my stay at home wife and make dinner for me and clean the house. And most of my free time would be spent reading academic papers and books. The remaining free time would go to you. Also I'd get to dress you up in whatever slutty outfits I want and fuck you.
>>25168609
yeah canada covers HRT. don't know about surgeries but definitely HRT and the visits to those doctors.
i've spent most of my life in and out of therapy. it hasn't seemed to help so far. the only times i've improved were when i wasn't in therapy and just started doing things out of a sincere desire to get better. it's hard to stay consistent with the effort though.
i wash my hands and things at the side of the sink instead of in front. that way i don't have to see myself. hanging like that sounds like no fun, but that's why you do it in a way that you can't stop it once it's started. having a job though i think i would order drugs online and take a very huge dose of heroin or something, assuming i couldn't find pentobarbital. it's been impossible to get pentobarbital.
>>25168659
i could be all of that. could i also take liberal arts classes? cooking is a hobby of mine and i like having a clean living space.
>>25168713
>it hasn't seemed to help so far. the only times i've improved were when i wasn't in therapy and just started doing things out of a sincere desire to get better. it's hard to stay consistent with the effort though.
Fair enough. I guess my only response to that would be to say that if you felt better then, and you want to again, that's pretty much the best motivation possible. Getting started is the hardest part usually for things like that.
>i wash my hands and things at the side of the sink instead of in front. that way i don't have to see myself.
I failed to consider how debilitating dysphoria might be. I know it makes no real difference but you do have my empathy, anon. I hope that you overcome those issues.
>do it in a way that you can't stop it once it's started.
That was sort of the plan but I ended up managing to climb a significant length of rope, I guess I should have cuffed my hands. I'm glad it failed though so w/e.
Heroin overdose is probably the best bet imo, shit's cozy (i didn't overdose when I tried it though so I'm sure that sucks too)
>>25168713
Yes take whatever classes you want and have whatever hobbies you want. I prefer that to high maintenance people. Just as long as dinners on the table and you don't mind me carrying you to bed and ravaging your ass.
You definitely sound like someone I'd date OP. Keep ya head up.
>>25168772
i'm glad you failed too. the world needs more nice people. are you happy?
and i'm not suicidal or anything. i'm fine desu :)
>>25168830
you sound kind of perfect too. you could do anything you wanted to me if it made you happy.
>>25168837
>are you happy?
Happy enough. Adjusted, at least. I hope your "fine" improves to happy as well, anon.
I really must do some writing now though so I am going to leave. Have a good night!
>>25168883
Oh, yeah. I'm in bed now anyway so that's good. Please be productive and fulfilled!
>>25168859
Aww you're a cutie. Talk to me if you ever live around Vancouver or Washington. Hope you find someone someday.
>>25168902
You as well. You seem like quite the sweetheart so I'm sure you can find someone, it might just take a little while. Bye.
>>25167669
yeah people are being surprisingly nice to this roastie.....boys passing by this thread please come and BTFO the OP
Yeah. Someday I might find someone, maybe...
I'm sure of it :(
>>25167781
>thanks for making me feel ugly and unwanted
waaaahhh maybe it's your face that's doing that, otherwise you'd have a boyfriend already. Isn't that why you had to come here to fish for attention?
>>25169046
nope
just kiding you're a fucking normie all you normies always complain about
>tfw no bf/gf
JUST GO BUY ONE AT THE LOVER STORE WHERE ELSE IS EVERYONE ELSE GETTING ONE
THEY'RE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE
>>25167396
Love that pic OP. There's this crazy Hispanic guy at work who tells me he hates me at least once a week and I reply that I hate me too. He's kidding, but I'm not.
>>25169112
You should love yourself.
i get too confused to know what im meant to read
number 2 is my rank
>>25167580
/thread should have ended right here.
im not like the other chads
>>25167396
>not fat guy
This fucking kills me.
My parents threw me into the childhood obesity trap, and now I have to claw my way out of.
My mom used to treat stress with food, and taught me all about comfort food. I have to fight every fucking urge I have so I can lose weight, and I am. It's just so slow. I keep fucking up. Sometimes my willpower is steel. Sometimes I realize i'm alone, and nobody believes in me. I don't even have anything to live for. So I eat another brownie. I eat another slice of pizza. Because tasting things I like is one of the only good feelings I have left. And I hate myself for it. But i'm still down almost 50 lbs.
>>25169613
keep at it man, you and only you can do it, i can't say anything to make you not alone, i can't really believe in you cause i don't know you but... i dunno i just want a good thing to happen to you cause good things should happen to people and i really hope you succeed
>>25169613
I-I believe in you anon, keep it up
>Mutilated abomination seeking semi-attractive guy who is smart and nice
well at least you're good at pretending to be a woman, kek
>>25169688
you forgot to add
>Mutilated, 30 year old, NEET, former druggie, who has had casual sex with people from craigslist, attention whoring abomination
>>25169613
You don't have to hate yourself for it unless that's the only way you're going to be consistent. You can have a couple days of failure a week and still make progress and should plan for it. Also, if you've got a bicycle, I'd definitely suggest riding it every day. It's not miserable like running (at least for me), you can go pretty far, and if you get going pretty far you'll start to see some serious gains. I'm up to 16 miles every day now and I'm definitely noticing an increased metabolism / straight up being able to eat a lot more just due to the calories burned during the ride itself.
>>25169613
I was in the same situation as you, anon. I was obese at the age of 8-9 years old and I've lost 75 lbs so far. Food was my only comfort since I've been alone so much of my life.
You can do this and you are doing great losing almost 50 lbs already. Don't let comments like this bother you too much because you're doing something about it and you should feel proud you've come so far. It's really difficult when you've been brought up on a shitty diet and have an unhealthy relationship with food where you need to completely relearn how to eat at an older age.
>>25167396
OP, you need to state age and location. Otherwise nobody knows if you're potential wife material.
>>25167396
>"omg u trans so mental illness"
>clinically depressed mtf with hardcore self-esteem
>if you could be semi-attractive not fat guy who is smart and nice.
You forgot to mention delusional and narcissistic in your diagnosis.
>>25169613
Iktf, anon, and it's the fucking worst.
I can't really blame my parents for my weight past the age of 13/14, but it still sucks, like eating whatever I want whenever I want was ingrained into me. I try to lose weight, but eventually my optimism and hope about it fade a little bit and then my emotions go completely out of whack and I relapse back into eating a drinking shit again. Every time it happens, I end up getting a lot worse emotionally too. I'll sit in my chair after drinking a glass of coke feeling really disconnected from reality and just muttering shit to myself about how much of a disgusting thing I am, how I'm not human, and that I don't deserve happiness. Then after all of that I have a serious urge to eat and I can't stop myself. When I eat, my mind just sort of goes blank and I just keep eating and everything washes away and I end up feeling a lot better.
>>25167396
>abloo bloo bloo people on 4chan never actually meet and fall in love and date each other but actually i wanted to direct the attention towards my own brittle ego, and complain how i cant find someone who doesn't fit my vague desires or is depraved enough to fuck me
here's your reply, bite the fucking bullet
hello i have been awake too long
how are you still dbloxoing this
i dont want a reply i want a friend
>abloo bloo bloo people on 4chan never actually meet and fall in love and date each other but actually i wanted to direct the attention towards my own brittle ego, and complain how i cant find someone who doesn't fit my vague desires or is depraved enough to fuck me
this is how i feel too - wojak
>>25170682
"this" i mean you know
LMAO WELL AT LEAST I DIDN'T CHOP MY BENIS
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SILLY THING TO DO
>>25170722
THISIS DEFINITELY SILLY
