Who /mischief/ here?
>go to /pol/
>ask why quantum physics is unbelievable
>ask if it is a jewish conspiracy
>waste people's time arguing
>live in a house with 4 college normies
>they always passive aggressively bully me(sarcastically say things like "haha anon where were you out with the ladies, ahhahahaha")
>have to get up at 5:30 AM on weekends to go work at a bakery
>they have a party last night
>my room is on the second floor and most of the time they stay downstairs
>last night some of the drunk fuckers where upstairs pounding the walls going "yo get up"
>out in the hallways being loud and obnoxious
>Finally fall asleep at like 3AM thanks to muh sleeping pills
>wake up this morning
>walk into the bathroom across the hall from me
>there is some girl unconscious in there
>the room reeks of puke and body odor
>just walk out, lock the door as I leave so my degenerate Chad roomates cant fuck her while she is passed out(one of those click type locks)
>just pee downstairs and dont brush my teeth before going to work
>get home from work
>learn she somehow drowned from getting her own puke in her lungs
>mfw she is dead
>mfw im 90% sure I saw her snoring/oinking like a pig before I left
>mfw all my chad roomies are pretending to be sad so they can get sympathy fucks from her friends
>>25141501
>go to /r9k/
>make threads pretending to be carefree normie girls from facebook
>watch the spaghetti as robots try to get a gf
>go to /pol/
>post an article about if nazis should have free speech
>mfw over 300 replies
>>25141924
/pol/lacks are Dunning-Kruger defined
>>25141574
haha what the fuck is this real
>>25142442
Nothing is real, anon.
>>25142651
Real is nothing, anon.
>brother comes home with his fat ugly SJW gf
>we go out to the bars
>get absolutely shitfaced
>use a bunch of words that freak her the fuck out (bull dyke, Third World, saying "that's gay" when bro says some stupid shit that he had to deal with)
>tell her that I admire Denmark for not accepting Syrian migrants
>she brings up Denmark's paid leave for women, all this other shit
>say I don't give a fuck about any of that
>tell her I'm a strong supporter of Donald Trump and that I believe we shouldn't accept any immigrants from anywhere
>go home and pass out
>next day find out that she thinks I'm mentally ill
bonjour reddit!we r animoose we r legun xDDD
>grocery store parking lot
>walk through the cars and slightly adjust everyone's side mirrors so they have to correct them when they leave
>mfw someone turned out to be inside one of the cars
>work at an ISP
>poor security both physical and digital
>know the ins and outs for causing mischief
>save the account for everyone that pisses me off over the phone
>week later I randomly suspend their service for no reason
>mfw I know how to do it without being tracked
>been doing it for months now
>imagining their normie face as they have to sit on the phone for an hour or more to unsuspend their service
>even when they call in, it takes 24 hours to get turned back on
>mfw
>>25142786
/pol/ the post
>>25141501
>ask /co/ what they thought of Avatar: The legend of Korra
>last Wednesday
>spoiler for the Force Awakens leak
>change my name on steam to "Kylo Ren kills Han Solo"
>change my avatar to Han's dying face
>join random public CS:GO games
>mfw
>>25143121
>making fun of anyone
>on the virgin board
>at work
>break room fridge
>see a big passive aggressive sign about not taking other people's food
>look inside
>few tupperware containers
>1 lunchable
>empty the tupperware food in the trash and put them back in the fridge, empty
>leave the lunchable
>mfw
>>25143166
/pol/fag confirmed
>add girls on /r9k/ to steam/skype/whatever
>pretend I'm some mega chad with a trust fund and rich parents
>they always fall for me and want my cock
>suddenly remove/block them one day
>mfw
>>25143200
>at Mcdonalds
>have to take a shit
>suddenly get an idea
>get a large amount of toilet paper.
>close toilet seat on one side
>shit in the middle of the paper
>carefully move the other side up to the door
>close the lock on it
>crawl out from beneath the stall and make my escape
>at shooting range
>see someone with an ar15 next to my lane
>take out my ar15
>shoot a few holes at his target to fuck up his grouping
>>25143304
o dear god this is funny
>any time I travel
>random gas station bathroom
>piss EVERYWHERE
>toilet seats, toiler paper, sinks, mirrors
>just piss fucking everywhere
>move along and they never see me again
>mfw imagining the normie at the front counter having to clean my shit up
>>25142786
Well I mean, yeah... you probably are in all honesty
>Christmas season 2013
>work with UPS as a driver helper
>my driver would never stop at any restaurant except Freddy's
>gave me gas so bad it was like a miasma
>luckily the door was always open so it aired out quick, we never had to smell it
>one day it's cold as fuck, like 35 Fahrenheit(I'm in Texas)
>delivering a parcel to some doctor's office
>it's warm as fuck in there, they cranked up the heat to 80 or something
>it's full of old cancer patients and shit
>on my way out, release a 10 second cropdust of my unbearable stench
>dozens of old fucks to take the blame
>mfw imagining all the nurses and doctors gagging on my fart-rape
>couldn't stop laughing in the truck with my driver
>finally tell him what I did after I settle down
>he laughs just as hard
>>improperly greentext
>>pretend to read as if greentexts are what anons are actually saying
>>start arguments over this and derail threads
>>make small mannerisms in my posts and pretend as if I'm a redditor trying to fit in with board culture and just panhandle for memes in every thread
>>reply to shitpost threads without saging
>>rename my pictures to image and convert them to jpegs to make it seem like I'm posting from my phone
>>sometimes randomly generate my filenames to imgur or tumblr filenames especially when shitposting
>>wait for the (You)'s to roll in because the majority of this chan are a bunch of fucking retards that always need to prove themselves on an anonymous imageboard
>>25143397
>normie at the front counter
People who work at gas stations are robots who have to work because no rich parents and can't get autismbux
Upon reflection this shit I did was weird as fuck.
>used to fill my empty McDonalds cups up with rocks
>but them on quiet roads at night to make them look like rubbish
>hid in bushes and waiting for cars to drive over them
>nobody ever swerved because they just looked like empty cups
>loud as fuck clanking as the shrapnel of 100+ rocks shot up into these peoples cars
>if they stopped and they were a girl I would start pretending to be a ghost from the bushes because it was dark and I thought it was scary
>tried to mimic a little girls laugh because they're usually ghosts in movies like The Grudge or The Ring
>they just looked around confused as I giggled like a girl or said shit like "let's play" really quickly
I was about 15 and I realise I sound like some autist but I swear I'm not. I eventually did more damaging shit though
>>25143494
>any time there's a sticky on any board I go to
>post a smug pepe with a (You)
>only now janitors are "warning" me for that shit
>got banned for a day because of pic related
>popular cliff diving spot where I live nearby in the Netherlands
>relatively shallow water but still safe to dive off by
>bring scuba gear and 10 feet long wooden spikes
>set 5 of them up around the spot
>3 people were killed in the course of 2 months
>still haven't been caught
>>25143565
I've honestly had a fear of people doing that every time I've been cliff jumping
>>25143500
>be like 7
>throw mud clots at passing cars with some kid who lives a block away
>most of the cars kept going and didn't care for some reason
>grand Cherokee jeep drives by
>kid I was with lugs a big ass mud ball and nails the front windshield
>car screeches to a halt
>driver door opens
>humongous landwhale appears
>yells out a battle cry
>starts charging after us
>kid I was with booked it
>she took the bait and singled him out
>I look back at the car
>some beta looking white dude is just leaning against the car smoking a cigarette while lookin at me
>obviously gives no fucks
>look back at the chase
>kid gets to his house and hides behind his mother who is watering the garden
>she is equally as big
>it's like a godzilla vs. king kong standoff
>I just walk home
>nothing ever happened to me
>>25143600
I'm tracking your ip and moving to where you live to do this to you.
>>25143565
Fake and gay.
GTFO normie
Real talk though, the World is flat and the Jews are the ones trying to convince you it's round
WAKE UP SHEEPLE
>>25143565
>Netherlands
>cliff diving
>cliffs in the Netherlands
yea ok.
>>25143565
>>25143749
>using imperial instead of metric
not dutch indeed
>>25143565
HOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
YFW YOU'VE BEEN FOUND OUT
>make the pizza man give you change
>eating at school bathroom
>take a shit while eating
>suddenly get idea
>take spoon and scoops up a chunk of shit out of the toilet bowl
>smears it inside of the doorknob
