Having another mental breakdown again, but the last time I asked /r9k/ for help, it was 500 posts of "give up," "stop trying," etc, but I have nowhere else to go. I think I'd rather have you guys break my spirits again than deal with this pressure in my skull. I don't wanna talk about it. Just please, tell me to give up.
I think we should all die. The human is a flawed animal that thinks too much and at the same time thinks too little.
Putting a hole in your head would relieve the pressure.
>>25140970
I'm not suicidal. I'm depressed. Tell me to give up instead.
>>25140869
Hey, it sounds like you're having a hard time. If you want to talk about it, I'd be more than happy. If not, that's OK too.
>>25140937
holy shit this. I dot know what this is called, but lately when I think about existence and the human condition, the only logical conclusion seems to be suicide, even something like and urge sometimes, it's just too absurd and doesn't make sense. our human state/consciousness/ intelligence looks wrong, like a nature's flaw.
inb4 *tips*
>>25141001
I'm afraid to. The last time I did, this board completely destroyed any motivation to even wake up anymore.
>>25141031
>>25140937
These.
We have partial sentience and seem to be caught between two extremes at all times, I think
>>25141198
This doesn't matter right now! Seriously, who cares whether or not we're alive?
Guys, please keep talking. I really don't care what you say anymore. Just please keep talking.
>>25140869
best advice:
get off this website. block it. dont come back. try to find anything that distracts you, and just roll with it. When it stops, go for something else. All else fails, drugs.
but stay away from the internet. it will only hurt you.
>>25141301
I'm trying to draw, but I suck at it! I'm horrible at it! Not even a beginner level! How can I compete with people who have been doing it for years when I can't even draw faces?!
Seriously, I need you guys to keep talking. I can't live with this silence. I need SOMETHING!
>>25141346
by practicing every fucking day. dont start with faces, start with hand control. like how to draw a straight line, circles, etc. from there go to how to do various textures. then draw simple shapes intersecting.
fill around 10 sketchbooks up of this, then move on to rough gesture drawings of plants, humans, animals, vehicles focusing on forms.
in about 2 years if you do this every day- focusing on hand/eye control- youll be fine.
shitposting wont help you.
>I think human consciousness, is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware, nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self; an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody. Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight - brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.
It is extremely fedora-tipper but this is basically my thoughts. It could have been said more eloquently but I think the point was to make Rust/McConaughey sound pretentious as fuck. Also like he said I don't have the constitution to kill myself because it's in my programming.
>>25141465
I'm trying! I'm practicing every day, but I'm at a wall! Circles and lines just aren't enough for me anymore. I need to actually progress. I need to start making good stuff like right now. Everyone else has had years and years to get good, but I fell into the trap of academia. I thought good grades would make me happy, but in the end, I'm more miserable than I've ever been! I need to catch up! I need to know how to get good right now!
>>25141484
I found myself constantly agreeing with him, I don't know why he was portrayed as a pretentious retard desu
Alright. I've drawn my circles. Now what?! NOW WHAT DO I DO?! I'M FREAKING OUT!
>>25141773
Time is a flat circle.
>original comment
>>25141816
What does that even mean? Are you trying to make sense right now?
>>25141840
can you take deep breaths. are you experiencing physical pain? why dont you go run or something
Where are you from, brother? let's kill ourselves together.
>>25141867
I'll take some deep breaths, but that alone won't fix my problems.
>>25140869
"Do not go quiet into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the light"
Fight against what is ailing you.
>>25141913
But how am I supposed to do that? What's ailing me is not knowing what I'm supposed to do!
>>25140869
professor once told me: "whiskey and laughter"
the whole is kind of a big joke, just laugh at it all and know that you're above it
>>25140869
Here's what you do man, you go exercise and get that shit out, start eating healthier and fuck bitches get money
>>25140869
You're going to laugh at me.
You're all going to laugh at me.
But it's because none of you have quite realized yet...
Nothing has to be the matter.
Right, wrong, good, bad. It's all an issue of perspective.
Nothing is actually wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with your life, nothing is wrong with your existence. You're not wrong.
Nothing has to be wrong unless you consider it as such.
Nothing has to be the matter.
RELAX. just. . . relax. it's really not as hard as it seems.
>>25141959
>>25141972
This sounds nice and all if I had no real problems. If it was all just stress and nothing more than that, I'd say, "Yeah, sure!" My problem, though, is not being good enough and not knowing how to get good. I'm told it takes years. Well, I DON'T HAVE YEARS!
>>25141997
Well, guess what. Perspective makes money. Your perspective influences on whether or not I can go back to eating three times a day again.
>>25142002
you just gotta make the best of it man, it's strange the first time you realize that you can shift your view of something that is fixed and real and suddenly feel totally different.
you are only as good as you believe you are, no matter what anyone else tells you, the only opinion that matters is yours. it doesn't take years, it takes an instant, it will hit you soon and you will find what you want. cheers friend!
>>25140869
call a suicide hotline. google it. there are people standing by to help you. they will be much more helpful than what you are likely to get in a thread on a board full of angry losers.
>>25142106
>the only opinion that matters is your own
Well my opinion doesn't pay the bills, and I suck even in my own opinion. I'm not just a beginner. I'm worse than a beginner!
>>25142107
I'm not suicidal. Not yet, at least.
>>25140869
i honestly think something keeps happening to me internally but i cant bring myself to act out even though the urge is there.
>>25140937
Sharpest edge
>>25142002
Start exercising a little bit and you'll start feeling better about yourself, and it'll snowball from there, just give it a try
>>25142002
>>25142231
To feel good you gotta do good stuff or just think of/do stuff that makes you happy and forget about the stress
>>25142231
>>25142288
But this doesn't make anything better. If anything, it might make things a little worse. I need to work, but I don't know how to work, and I'm sure not going to work if I'm relaxed and comfy on my bed!
>>25140937
In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessings. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.
>>25142355
How was this original?
>>25140869
why do you need other people to break your spirit?
just think about what life is and who you are.
there exists not a single person on this planet who will not betray you
>>25140995
if you are not suicidal you are not depressed,
you are meme depressed.
>>25142409
I don't mean like that. Just tell me to give up so I can stop trying. At this point, I almost wish I were suicidal.
>>25142465
Fine. I'll be meme depressed. Whatever.
UGH! WHERE IS EVERYBODY?! I CAN'T HAVE ALL THIS TIME TO THINK! IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!
And still nothing. Thanks for nothing, a-holes. Guess I'll go to bed being no better off than I was before. Now I'm just more pissed.
End it already
>>25142722
No! I'll end it when I feel like it!
Take a deep breath and try to relax.You have been in a coma for 9 years
Are you still with us OP? Please respond
I stopped getting so much anxiety and my depression went away after my friends kicked me to the curb and even more so after i had a traffic accident that nearly crippled my arm for life.
I think you need some real problems. I'm not even berating you, i mean it.
I didn't become a normalfag at all, but i don't sweat the small stuff so much anymore. The only thing that brought me depression and anxiety for real again was another accident! And amazingly enough, i got depressed because i almost died! I have lost that burning desire to die.
>>25142854
I'm still here, unfortunately.
>>25142889
I got kicked to the curb just a week ago, actually. Trust me, I know real problems. This isn't small stuff, though. This is the rest of my life.
You're a stupid bitch, just kill yourself.
>>25142976
Stop being so dramatic.
>>25142994
Kill yourself, you whiny bitch baby.
>>25143055
Why don't you, faggot?
>>25142475
suicide is not a illnes its the result from how about you judge you current situation.
You're a cum guzzling faggot, kill yourself.
>>25143229
Well, my current situation sucks. It's not bad enough to drive me over the edge, but still bad enough for me to want to quit my job and never come back, even though I have NO OTHER OPTIONS!
http://youtu.be/42Kn4f6Mgks
Hope this helps. She has advice that has helped me a lot, maybe something she says can make you change how you feel about what your going through.
>>25143260
if its your job sucks you have to get a better or at least a jon that doesnt suck.
search for a better job while you continue your current job.
if you cannot get a job because you don t fullfill the requirements you have to search for jobs that need requirents that are independet from schools.
you can work as programmer even if you dont have ever visit a single school as long as you are a good programmer.
>>25143357
That's not it. I'm pissed that I'm not good enough, and I don't know how to get better. I just want to be like the masters, but I'm worse than the beginners! I'M TIRED OF THIS!
>>25140869
No te aguites amigo
>>25143402
You can always kill yourself. Everybody would be happier for it.
>>25143421
I think you're misinterpreting the point of the thread.
>>25143290
Thanks for the video, but this chick spent the majority of the time shilling herself.
>>25143402
i know only one way to improve yourself and that is forced training, but this only works in things you like to do
