Choose your weapon, /r9k/.
cumsock - you always have two with you, the shape is ergonomic and you can throw it into the laundry bin afterwards
Cum rag.
It stinks and I never wash it, but as a friendless NEET who doesnt care about his family I couldnt give less of a fuck about the cum stench in my room.
>not lapping it up off the floor like the dog you are
I cum into a plastic 2 liter bottle and seal it.
No clean up required
When it gets too gross to look at just throw it out and get a new one.
shower
you filthy beasts
How do you people touch yourselves and not want to boil yourself? How do you make so much of a mess that you need these things to clean up? D-do you actually come into physical contact with your semen? Like does it get on your hands and stuff? That's so gross.
>>25127171
I'm going to vomit
Is this even a contest? It's like asking handkerchief verses kleenex. Of course tissues, the alternative is disgusting. I cum into tissues directly into a closing trash with an odor eater in it.
nothing, NOTHING beats fapping while switching between smelling your own dried cum in a rag and lightly touching your anus
only redditor plebs haven't done this
Tissues. Jizzing on my socks seems gross. I have to put those on my feet again someday. Plus, I don't want gobs of crusty jizz stuck on it when I use it again or for it to just sit in my dirty clothes pile, which means I'd have to rinse it/wash it after every session.
All I need are 6 squares of tissue and I'm good. Provided I haven't been building up. Then I probably need like 9.
I used to use a cumrag until mummy found it and washed it.
Now I just use tissues.
I use condoms.
I used to just cum free and let it air dry but I got sick of having to flip my mattress every year.
I just jizz on my stomach.
I just take a shower each time I'm done
>>25127231
It's fun to add to your cum rag and feel it get heavier and heavier as it gets full of cum.
>>25127294
I only do this if I'm cam sexing a girl.
Of course this is my only actual contact with women, but hey.
I don't like doing it htough because I have to waddle over to the shower making sure nothing drips onto my chair or floor.
>>25126954
Neither..
Grab your fucking phone and some earbuds and go stand in front of the toilet.. All phones are mobile porn machines now.
So when I find the video I want to cum to, I just take it to the bathroom with me and wank it out real quick. Just gotta flush the toilet, and maybe wipe off the tip of my dick with a piece of TP and that's it. No nasty smelling bedroom, no autistic cleanup methods.
I just swallow it. Who on Earth wants to put their arm out of the bed into the cold, grab a tissue, wipe their cock leaving tissue residue all over it, and then get out of bed to put it in the bin? I just lick that shit up and go to sleep.
>>25127322
>not spending hours fapping
Quick faps suck
Cumrag for life.
>>25127426
No no no... You just go to the bathroom at the end of your session to finish the job. The idea is to not let jizz sit in your bedroom or dirty your laundry. You can fap for as long as you want, just finish in the toilet.
>>25127412
>tfw can't bring myself to swallow my own cum unless i cum directly in my mouth
>tfw some of it goes over my face
>tfw kinda like it
>>25127231
>I cum into tissues directly into a closing trash with an odor eater in it.
Don't you have toilets where you live?
Anyway yeah, tissues master race, not even a contest.
I usually just grab toilet paper and roll it into a cylinder, thick enough so that cum doesn't rip it. Then fap and when I'm about to cum, I put my dick into it and close the other end.
After that, I close the other end and throw it into the toilet.
Clean and simple.
Also, If you live with other people this tactic is good as you can easily put your dick, even if you just came, into your pants without making a mess if you risk getting caught.
>Cumragfags
>2015 bordering on 2016
Tissue master race
>he doesn't cum into a pair of loli panties he stole from a washing line down the street
Why is /r9k/ so full of casuals?
Kitchen paper towel
Does not stick to your dick, can hold quite a large load, is easily disposable, has enough area to catch even very uncontrolled sperm bombings and is readily available.
I usually need two or three paper tissues layered on top of each other to jizz into, otherwise my load just soaks through them. With paper towels, one is enough.
Additionally, you can lay down some more on your chair, so that the seat doesn't get all sweaty from your ass sweat as you whack it with your pants fully pulled down.
Tissues, this is no contest. Pussy juice isn't a smell you want lingering around your room. especially on a rag for days, and several uses, on end. I try to empty my rooms garbage can every other day as to not let the tissues even smell up the room.
never again will I use a rag. the smell.... is inhuman.
>>25128164
Probably because you pissed yourself.
>>25128164
change your diet or visit a doctor if your pussy juice smells
I sleep on the floor and theres literally a dark spot on the rug at the level of my pelvis to the left of me because whenever I am about to cum I just lead to the side and cum on that part of the carpet, I've never cleaned it, I just leave it there to evaporate.
In the summer I had a small fan there to blow on me when I was lying down and the bottom of the fan has a lot of yellow dried up jizz on it now, that bothers me a lot more than the carpet because rather than just a dark spot thats easy to ignore or not notice its a bunch of yellow fucking crust on my fan. And now I cant set hot food in front of the fan because I know its blowing microscopic particles of long dead sperm onto my meals.
>>25128164
That's fucking gross.
Also toilet paper is the best because you can just flush it and you don't have to have dried up semen in your room
I use a cum bottle
>>25128226
it doesn't smell when its coming out. I'm saying the rage that has several days old dried up juice smells.
>>25128249
that shit is probably growing a fungus already.
Why would you ruin a carpet like that? Get a carpet cleaning sponge (one of those that are really hard when they're dry) and try to get rid of that with some chemical warfare; fungus spores aren't exactly healthy to inhale every day.
>>25128249
Post pics of carpet and fan
>>25128273
Jesus, why would you let that rag sit for several days?
>>25126954
Who the fuck keeps a cumrag? Holy shit, HAHA!
>>25128291
yes, this please
The whole idea of cumming into a rag and reusing it is kinda disgusting.
Either I use a tissue and wash my hands or I take a shower.
>not just cumming in the toilet
homosexuals
Dude I dont have a dick but I'd just like use toilet paper or baby wipes. But maybe some fruit would go missing. Idk, it sounds like an adventure until mom kicks you out for making the house smell like cold cuts.
>>25128289
Why not? I dont even know any girls in real life, and if I did know any and for some reason they would end up coming into my room I could just fucking clean it in advance. For now it isnt anywhere on my radar though.
>>25128291
>>25128416
I might post pics because this is one of the few times my cell phone is actually charged. Hang on.
>>25128268
Is that you, cumbottles guy?
Or1g1n41 c0mm3nt
>>25128449
how do you aim it down? How do you watch porn facing the toilet?
>>25128612
holy hot damn
Tfw if I fap into a tissue my semen just pierces through it every time no matter how much I layer it
>>25128612
Nigga, it would take 10 minutes to clean that.
>>25128779
Well when I have any reason at all to care enough to clean it, then I can take care of it.
>>25128612
Witness the birth of the cumfan
>>25128747
The fuck dude, you shooting sabot rounds out of your dick? 2 layers is usually enough for me
>>25128612
Are you the anon from Netherlands who jerks it to windmills?
>>25128747
THIS
Why does this happen to me? I try to be clean.
>tfw powerful loads I guess
I shouldn't complain.reee
>>25128907
No, I live in New England.
>>25128839
I've shot through 8, really ruins a fap when you accidentally splooge on yourself
>>25127284
Condoms are also good masturbation sleeves for MGM victims, because with a couple drops of lube on the inside, they simulate the gliding action of a foreskin.
>>25127494
Exact same anon
Cumrag is infinitely better to strangle people with. Plus, they get to swallow your huge ass fucking dickload.
>>25127573
But anon I dotfw pedos get ultimate choices
I use the towel I showered with, or wash rag. Then rinse it out/put in washer
When I was at home I taught my little sister to catch my cum in her hands, after she washed up I always gave her a dollar, she earned a lot of dollars, even now when I am home from school, she always laughs and asks if I have a dollar for her
My own mouth
>>25126954
i just use my bedsheets
>be female
>have orgasms 10x as stronger as men
>no refractory period
>no cleanup
Why are you not female masterrace yet? :^)
>>25126954
I prefer cumrag. my mother put it into washing machine from time to time, not sure if she knows why it smells so funny tho.
>>25127198
Hey, bodyphobe.
>collect cum filled tissues
>wrap together
>put into brown paper bag
>set on fire
>throw into neighbours garden
>mfw
>>25129515
wet bed not so master race yet I would love to have vagina at least for one day.
>>25129623
I'm a sexphobe not a bodyphobe. Sexuality makes me feel disgusted and dirty.
>>25129515
be my gf pls femanon
>>25129696
Sex is done by bodies. The body makes the fluids you hate. You are, therefore, a bodyphobe.
> There are people on this board RIGHT NOW, that spend an unthinkable amount of money for tissues.
I just cum into whatever I'm wearing, be it my undies or my PJs
>>25129754
I don't care about bodily fluids. Or bodies. It's the sexuality that I hate. Semen is inherently sexual. Saliva, blood, urine, feces, those things don't bother me in the same way that sexual fluids do. Kissing bothers me, saliva and tongues don't. Sex bothers me, genitalia does not.
>>25129836
Doesn't matter, bodyphobic Mcbodyphobe.
>>25129836
Everything is sexual if you're brave enough.
>>25129754
Fuck off to reddit, you bitch ass nigga.
>>25129812
shit I can smell that t shirt just by looking at it.
>>25129874
Okie dokie anon
>>25129895
And anything sexualized will make me uncomfortable. It depends on the mindset and the intent I guess.
>>25129897
Fuck off to a dusty ass fissure, you whiteknight. She won't bang you.
>>25126954
i feel u bro han dies
>>25129812
Is it very stiff fabric? It looks like it would make a sound if it moved...
>>25129973
Yeah, a bit crusty.
>>25129965
Great meme nobody saw it coming the whole internet doesn't know its still a mystery
>>25129936
I'm a guy dumbass
You know those bigger monster cans with the resealable caps?
I jizz in the caps and dump the cum in the can and close it up. If i'm unable to remove the cap from the can it goes into the trash. If it stinks it goes into the trash.
I used to go right on the floor for years, i'm going to have to replace that carpet.
>>25129965
>le being an asshole for no reason maymay
>>25129515
>that feel when you will never be a cute and soft teenage girl discovering masturbation for the first time
there is no end to this suffering
>>25130046
Still act like a bitch.
>>25130124
I'm sorry I'm not manly enough for you anon, you'll just have find someone else to be your special friend :)
>>25128612
That spot is fucking embarrassing I've probably got a 2 foot splotch on my carpet
Just do it on the floor and let it dry in
>>25130159
>tfw you leave the house all day and return to your carmel smelling room
makes me horny desu senpai
>>25127131
I appreciate your weltanschauung
>>25126954
Am I the only one here who uses toilet paper? You have to use a whole lot of Kleenex if you have a big load.
>>25130206
Toilet paper here as well. Easier to just flush it rather than having it accumulate stench while in the bin.
A cumrag would be unthinkable. With the ease and amount of precum I produce, especially during any fap session that's not a quickie, the idea of wiping my dick off on a previously used cumrag over and over is disgusting. I don't want to wipe my dick with crusty dried cum.
>>25130350
does not toilet paper get stuck on your penis when it gets wet? I tried it few times and had issued with it.
cumrag master race.
>>25130415
It depends on how you use it. I suck at explaining it because secondary language and all, though.
I rarely have it really stick on my dick while my cum is quite watery.
>>25130556
>>25130415
He's saying he doesn't touch his dick with the tissue
>>25127131
>>25127244
>>25127435
Having a cum rag is pretty disgusting desu
>not jerking it in your underwear and letting it dry
I just cum on the carpet.
i wish my tongue was someones cumrag
>>25128164
>>25129515
>tfw no lewd fembot to skypefap with
>scoot garbage bin between legs
>as you finish stand up, collapse onto desk, angle your dick down and just straight up blast it into the bin
It's literally a flawless method.
>>25128164
do you notice how pussy juice dries up almost instantaneously? my dildos are always dry like 25 seconds after cumming
just cum in the toilet
i think my toilets getting fucked up from it though
>fap multiple times a day
>been doing this ever since i moved in with my mom
>about a year
>toilets get backed up
>worried
>get pipes snaked
>works fine
>time_to_fap.exe
>month later
>toilet gets fucked up again
>we snake it out
>works fine
how much longer do i have and is my fap causing this
Cumrag, personally. I've always got a sock right under my desk, close to the power strip. If my house catches on fire, the cumsock will be the first thing to burn, leaving no evidence.
I throw out the cumsock and replace it with another every month or two, sometimes longer. Once a normal white sock starts to get a little brown, that's usually when it's time.
>>25131502
Post used dildo
>>25131513
just buy your own snake and do it yourself
become a plumber
make 100k a year and don't spend any while living with mommy
c'mon man opportunity.
>>25131319
Whoever made this picture should be shot, they should be shot again for making this a jpg.
How about neither? I prefer the cum sock.
>have bunch of old socks
>tear hole in heel
>when about to cum, put cock through hole in sock
>cum inside sock
>throw into laundry basket to wash
>>25126954
I always fap in the bathroom. In the shower or in the toilet.
Come on... I don't undertand how you guys can't fap using only your imagination, even after watching porn, it's so easy.
I was actually shocked the first time I discovered most of you guys don't do that, you autistic faggots.
>>25132354
i can't fap without porn so here's what i do
>fap to porn at pc
>edge for 20 minutes
>keep edging until im about to cum
>close out porn
>walk to bathroom
>cum in toilet
>>25132395
I watch porn because I like it, but I admit I don't need it at all.
