>tfw I haven't had a friend in 6 years
I've had (until a year ago or so) peers, colleagues, whatever you call them. But I haven't had a real friend to talk to in a long time, and even then I didn't really make good use of the brief moments I had close friends.
And let's not talk about female friends, I never had one. God I'd love a female close friend to talk to and listen to, even more than fuck a woman. I can just wank myself to oblivion when I get horny but having no one to talk to all these years, with all these thoughts and worries clogging up one by one in my head until my mind is so cloudy I can't even think or function straight anymore.
I also want to listen to them, hear their troubles. It's been so long seeing only people's surfaces I feel completely desensitized of them. I can't help but not see people. I know they all have their troubles, many have problems much bigger than mine, but I never see that, I just see their outer selves. And it's been so long like that I can't even imagine them as anything else. Specially women. Since I've never had one open herself to me in any close way, I just can't relate to them at all and I only have bitter thoughts when I meet one.
I read lots of stories here about people and their troubles but the internet is so impersonal it's just not the same.
I'm sure having a close friend (specially a female friend), watch them open to me a little and open myself a little to them would help me feel more connected to people and society again, and on the long run maybe even function like a normal person again.
When I was younger I kept telling myself I enjoyed this, I enjoyed solitude, that it's just how I am, that I can live without people. I was lying to myself. It's true what they say, humans are social creatures. Some can be more introverted and need some time alone, but long term isolation leads only to disorders and anxiety, and the longer you stay alone the harder it gets to go back to normal.
Anyone knows this feel?
Oh yes. I've been isolated for a long time too. I've never had a real friend ever. Never had an online friend either.
I went out for a coffee with 2 great people (friends) today, but reluctantly. Seeing that there are other people out there who'd kill to be in my position makes me feel sad and ungrateful.
>>25103417
I know how you feel. I usually will turn down requests to meet friends if I have work the next day or something and it makes me feel like shit when I read how many people on /r9k/ are completely friendless
but my best friend, the one who I speak with more than any one else, is leaving the city, so I may be losing that very soon...
>>25103297
How do you cope? This last year has been hitting me really hard and sudden.
I'm clinging to the idea that early next year I might go work aboard in something related to my studies, and that it will be a good opportunity to start from zero with no one knowing me, and try to start a normal life again. But I already had a very good chance at that early this year too and I fucked up terribly, and I fear I will fuck up again and either come back with tail between legs or stay there but as miserable as here (even more since no family there). And if I fuckup I honestly don't know what will I do.
>>25103444
Back when I had friends I refused a lot of calls to hang out, they would even worry and get angry a little since sometimes I did it a lot. Now that I lost all contact with them I regret all those times I refused.
Relationships = drama
>>25103497
>they would even worry and get angry a little since sometimes I did it a lot. Now that I lost all contact with them I regret all those times I refused.
Damn, I'm in the same position right now. They're not really worrying, but I think they might be at the end of their patience.
Today they even called my landline phone because I turned my cellphone off since I don't feel like doing anything. Now I know how it will end thanks to your experience, but I'm still probably going to ditch them. I just feel like I have nothing to contribute to the friendship.
Why don't you work on getting new friends?
>>25103564
Literally a teenage girl's life philosophy. You should be proud.
I think your post is good OP. I think you might be a decent person. I'm feeling the same and I'm looking for a friend too.
But I don't think that we could be friends.
First thing, I'm not female and I think you are really looking for a female friend, and I don't blame you for that. I can't fulfil this desire of yours.
Second thing, I tried to make friends on this board many times. Everybody talks about how lonely they are, and they don't lie. But the problem is that when you talk with them in skype or mail or something, you just talk. But you stay alone. It is something about this place, I talked to so many of you it never made me feel less lonely.
I'd love to have a friend. I'd be glad to listening to all what he has to say. I want him to be happy when I respond. I want him to feel better after talking to him. I want to be a real friend for him, even if it's only online. But I don't think that this is possible. It's a 1% chance at max.
I'm sorry OP. I wish you all the best though.
>>25103601
You people need to realize that anything with an internet prefix can't replace real world counterparts.
>>25103178
I am this feel.
bloxz
>>25103592
People with low self-esteem, anxiety, paranoia, etc. will spend every moment around other people being self-conscious.
It's first day of uni's christmas break, but I feel like I'm fucking gonna lose it this time already. I have nothing to do the whole day, and I'm supposed to live like this for another 15 days for fuck's sake. I don't even talk with anyone in classes because social autismo, but I can't bear the loneliness this time. I'm tired of it, I really want to change, but I can't.
I haven't been this depressed in years.
>>25103677
>tfw breathing manually
>tfw never know where to rest my lanky arms and hands
>tfw never know where my eyeballs should be facing
>tfw timing every head turn
>>25103497
>when I had friends I refused a lot of calls to hang out, they would even worry and get angry a little since sometimes
I was 100% with you until this line in. No friends, never had a female friend. Being unable to connect with anybody emotionally. But when I was a teen
my few, maybe 4 friends never called me. I would always call them and it soon got to the point where they would just lie to me, or ask me 'you dont have many friends do you?'
I only really had one friend who would call me, and rarely, and i'm still friends with him to this day. You should be grateful for people like this who instigate friendships and relationships
because at least for me, they are very hard to come by.
>>25103497
I don't cope that well, been pretty down about it, have been for a long time. I feel powerless to act.
>>25103788
I just have one friend now too. The last time we hanged out I felt like such shit. He's got an impressive job, he hangs out with people, is well-liked, could get a gf if he wanted to...
Then there is a me. An abomination of zero social skills, no job, total loser, etc. I hated myself for having a friend around me and all I could think was how much I suck.
>>25103570
If they're still your friends it doesn't really have to end. I lost mine after 6 years and most moved away. So there's no way we can all gather together again like we used to.
>I just feel like I have nothing to contribute to the friendship.
If you didn't contribute anything to them they wouldn't want to hang out with you, but they still do. Friendship is an essential part of people like feeding. It doesn't have to get you anything else friendship itself is an end.
>Why don't you work on getting new friends?
I want to, but I'm not sure how and even less now after all these years of no real interaction. I know how to get colleagues, I can actually be very social on a superficial level if I put enough effort. I've even been told by some girls I'm weird but not in a creepy fedora way. But in a funny, interesting way and I've had brief moments with them that we all had a good time. That angers actually. If I was a smelly creeper that makes women flee in disgust and fear at least I would know the reason, but I can actually interact with them and even give them a good impression.
Still I never go further than that, I can't or don't know how to. I don't even know how I got those friends 6 years ago.
>>25103601
What you and >>25103637 said. What I miss is real contact, both male or female but specially female since I never had it. Internet friends, pen pals etc wouldn't solve my problem, it won't help me stop dehumanizing people and myself due to long isolation.
>>25103788
>You should be grateful for people like this who instigate friendships and relationships
I was, and I am more now that I lost them, as I said I know there's people who have it much worse than me on many levels. To be honest I don't know how you and >>25103297 deal with it. You probably don't, better or worse but probably you don't lead normal happy lives. And I don't mean it to offend I just don't think you can have a good life with such isolation.
IKTF all too well. It has made me bitter and depressed. Although I am given the opportunity to change this, I am unable to because of the lack of social skills I possess thus worsening the situation.
I've never known a girl to be of a friend and only have a small group of friends I don't interact with unless I come across them from time to time Guess you could just say they aren't friends but just people you come across often.
I see cliques of boys and girls, my eyes go red and water. This situation we feel we can change it although we have to try, but what's the incentive to do so when you know you won't have the same connection the normies already have with the chads and stacies.
>>25103931
>If they're still your friends it doesn't really have to end.
I know that, but there's just this general feeling I have towards life. I don't really feel doing it any more. Hanging out with someone and pretending that I want actually pains me and worsens my self-imposed situation.
>Still I never go further than that, I can't or don't know how to.
If you can't explain the problem, there probably isn't one. How does one have that many colleagues and female acquaintances and fail to deepen or start a friendship (relationship)?
Is there a word for this peculiar situation? Two people with exactly the opposite "problem", which could be solved by them swapping places.
>>25103943
Communicating normally (as your post) are social skills. What's preventing you from transferring those to "real life"?
>>25103919
Its the same for my friend, he has girls flirting with him around every corner, a girlfriend every few months, a shit tone of friends. Knows literally everybody in the city
You eventually learn to ignore jealous/self destructive feelings after a while, but its difficult if you have friends constantly trying to choke it down your throat every chance
they get. I had a few of those. Its girlish shit, that doesnt exist in real friendship
>>25103931
>you don't lead normal happy lives
do you have family? If you do, keep them close. The only family I have are my parents
>If you can't explain the problem, there probably isn't one.
I think I can explain it. Someone else would probably say social anxiety but I don't like that term, sounds like some shitty disorder made up from tumblr. I'm just very self conscious and I get really scared of rejection. And since I have so little experience with social stuff I think I would probably make a fool of myself all the time. That's just what I think though, but sometimes it's hard being objective with yourself about yourself, it would be seen easier from a third person perspective. But then again I don't have any friends to do so.
> How does one have that many colleagues and female acquaintances and fail to deepen or start a friendship (relationship)?
I think I explained myself bad. I don't have that many colleagues, and they usually come and go very fast since right now I'm moving a lot trying to find a stable job. Maybe I meet a few people for a month for some course, then stop and meet these other people due to some part time job etc. I feel like every time I meet a new group of peers, at least some of them could make a good friendship, but it just doesn't happen, sometimes I forcefully end up loosing contact and others I just cut it up myself before it goes further, out of fear probably.
>>25104273
> I get really scared of rejection
Just remember one thing: the regret 5 years down the road is more painful than today's rejection.
>I would probably make a fool of myself
>they usually come and go very fast
That's a blessing. Even if you "make a fool" out of yourself, you'll most likely never see those people again. Constantly meeting new people also makes it easier, because you have a higher chance of finding great people.
Accept that "rejection" is the default state. Not talking to them is rejection. You can't make it worse. Technically you can if you do something genuinely autistic like literally spaghetti falling out of your pockets while you're explaining rare Pepes to them. However such a situation is very unlikely and can be easily avoided. I know that it's easier said than done, but you're in one of the most favourable positions to acquire new friendships. They're basically coming to you and you have an excuse to talk to those people (work). The same applies for schools. Once you're out of those two, you have to actively search for them and it becomes a lot worse.
>>25104656
just kill yourself, god dammit!
>>25103943
Can't lock down a persona, not sure who I am and whether to just be me or change my personality to better please others, probably somewhere in the middle. Some people love me being me, some despise it. Balancing act. Its no rumor that me being me is a little out there and some people can't handle
>>25104751
Please no bully I think he's making a decent point, whether I agree or not.
>>25104751
It isn't my fault you bought shaming tactics. They're not YOUR friend, they're manufactured persona's friend. I would have accepted and treated you with decency no matter who you were. Bigot.
>>25104909
>>25104798
Can anyone else follow this? Is there a legit schizophrenic person posting these?
friends are for women. the only thing having a social circle is good for is meeting girls. with tinder now, you don't really need that. you can literally discuss anything you want with like-minded people on the internet. seriously focusing on making friends is a waste of time when you should be investing in yourself. even people who do have many friends end up only having a few as they get older.
>>25103788
>You should be grateful for people like this who instigate friendships and relationships
you should be too, I've never had anyone like this
