Okay r9k hear me out. I'm a 22 year old hermit who prior to 2 days ago has never even held hands with a girl and I think I just got a gf.
>Wednesday evening
>at the gym at 1am to avoid all the after-work normies
>just me and a couple other people there
>minding my own business as usual when a girl comes up to me
>and by girl I mean a ~ 180 pound, 6 foot 1 body builder black girl
>I'm pretty much a skeleton at 145 and a couple inches shorter for reference
>anyway, this girl keeps making small talk with me and introduces herself
>I think she's just bored and being polite so I talk along
>after about 5 minutes of meeting each other and taking about what time we come to the gym and a restaurant, she loudly proclaims "we are going on a date"
>I haven't been out of the house in 4 days nor talked to anyone in months so in my autistic haze I said "of course" thinking it was just some banter and her complimenting me
>anyway, I give her my phone number, finishing up and go home
>cont.
>hermit goes to a gym for purpose of making thread
what made ye change ye mind to go to the gym?
Is she taller than you?
>tfw no tall black bodybuilder gf
Sounds hot as fuck mang
>so Thursday rolls around and I haven't thought much about the encounter, still in disbelief that this particular girl would be interested in me
>I wake up and see a text that says "[restaurant name] 7pm, I'll pick you up. What's your address?"
>I've never dated before or really gone out with friends so I'm not quite sure what to make of this
>she seems really genuine about going on a date so I agree
>I send my address and we text back and fourth some more
>anyway, 7pm rolls around, dad gives me a pat on the back and tells me "I know you'd find a girl one day"
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>then a range rover playing loud rap music rolls up
>my dad has the most confused look on his face as this woman comes all dressed up to meet me
>I get out and meet her, she immediately hugs me and tells me to get in
>we end up going to a different, much fancier restaurant I was surely underdressed for
>everyone was going well, a bit odd she did order my food for me but it was something I wanted anyway
Are you black?
Maybe she wants s to mentor you to get fit
Damn, sounds like she's acting as the male in this situation. I'm all about dismantling gender roles though, she sounds cool as hell.
>>25090362
>I send my address and we text back and fourth some more
how about ye have a seat over there?
Anon is gonna get pegged. Also:
>not pretyping your shit
>inb4 tree fiddy
>>25090442
she is just doing this in hopeing ye will seed her so she can get money from ye for child support and play the race card.
>so the bills comes and it's like $150
>I didn't even know food could be this expensive
>she slaps two one hundred dollar bills on the table and said "I got you" and winked at me
>I felt pretty uncomfortable at this point because I'm a frugal guy
>anyway, I don't let it bug me and keep on talking
>we don't really have anything in common but still had a fair bit to talk about
>she kept touching my arm saying I was smart and funny, really felt like a Chad
>around 9 pm she says "let's head back to my place"
>now I'm not sure what this means but I go along with it
>we drive to this extremely fancy home and she rings the doorbell
>a massive black man answers the door
>she hugs me and introduces me, says we'll be watching netflix in the pool house
>he gives me a really judging look and says "that him?"
>she nods and he closes the door with a shrug
>cont.
>>25090273
Hermit may be an exaggeration. I go to the gym 3 times a week to combat being a skeleton but am otherwise secluded.
>>25090316
Only 3 inches.
>>25090328
She's very pretty.
>>25090490
Cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck cuck sem pie
RUN
U
N
FINISH THE FUCKING STORY
>anyway we get to the pool house and she puts on MTV cribs
>I'm sitting on the sofa and she says that she is going to "freshen up" and leaves to the bathroom
>about 5 minutes later, I see her out of my peripheral vision, only wearing a bikini
>it was at this moment I fully realized the gravity of the situation
>she threw me a pair of swim trunks and said get ready
>I attempted to go to the bathroom to put them on but she said "you ain't got nothing to hide"
>mfw
>I stripped naked in front of her and put them on all the while she stared at me
>this was the first time anyone ever saw me naked and I was sweating and fumbling everywhere
>she laughed saying I was turning "beet red"
>anyway, we both went into the hot tub afterwards, I felt more comfortable having swim trunks on and relaxed again
>cont.
>>25090383
No, Belgium ancestry.
>>25090481
I'm a poor neet who does wood working for extra money. I literally have $800 in my bank account.
WARNING THIS WILL END UP IN A STAR WARS SPOILER
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
>>25090605
She sounds very pushy. Be careful about getting in to a potentially abusive relationship. There's virtually zero support for men.
>>25090490
>only 3 inches
>only
Kek, fucking manlets.
>>25090635
>implying it hasn't already been spoiled for me
lurk moar faggot
Lurkin
Go on faggot
20 says he ends up in her sex dungeon, pegged till he prolapses before she steals his kidneys and throws him on the street
>>25090635
yoda's son kills chewbacca
>so we're in the hot tub and she's talking about how her father is a lawyer and how she is becoming one as well
>feels pretty bad being a neet and I tell her I'm unemployed
>she responds by saying "I'm looking for a man who's a stay-at-home dad anyway"
>I never thought I could open up to anyone like this, especially someone as different from me, successful, wealthy and pretty as she is
>it's at that moment she went over and sat on me
>she turned around, undid her bikini top and began kissing me
>she pulled away, stood up and took her bikini bottom off
>then tugged my trunks down
>I was basically in a state of shock this entire time with my mouth open and a dumbfounded look on my face
>she then sat on me and I was inside of her
>I was no longer a virgin
>I began kissing her neck, it was so smooth and long, she perfect skin seemed unreal
>she pulled back her head, still riding me and smiled, I was in love
>she rested her head on my shoulder and asked in a sensual tone "I need about tree fiddy"
>it was at this very moment I realized that I was not having sex with a black woman, "she" was in fact an 8 story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic era
>>25090635
I hope not, I don't want to find out Han Solo was killed by his son Rylo Ken
>>25090775
Meh, I still got hard up until the end, jokes on you faggot
>>25090775
Beautiful
10/10
>>25090775
saw it from a mile away
>>25090775
The good ole tree fiddy, well memed, my friend :^)
>>25090775
kek
breddy gud
i got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said your moving with your auntie and your uncle to bel air
>>25090775
I still came, OP.
Nice try.
>>25090775
>thought it would be star wars spoilers
>it's tree fiddy
fuck
>>25090775
TOP FUCKING LEL
Truly a time to be alive
>>25090775
GO ON. FINISH THE STORY
>>25090775
What a time to be alive senpai
>>25090362
>"[restaurant name] 7pm, I'll pick you up. What's your address?"
black girls are fucking based as fuck
Reddit pls go blox
>>25090775
I loled thank you OP. Cheered up my night.
>>25090775
HELLO REDDIT
PS BENIS ;-dd
