>Does this intimidate you, anon?
>You are at least this big, right?
>>25090036
oh shit how did u get a picture of my wife?
>>25090044
Why are you shitposting on 4chan on a Friday night if your wife is that hot?
>"not at all. that looks pretty yummy and you're just playing with it."
>takes big wiener away from childish female
>dip it in mustard and slowly guide it towards her mouth.
>"its coming, open your mouth wide, say ahhhh"
>>25090076
sorry, she's not my wife right now, so she's my future wife.
because going out costs money and staying at home is comfy.
and yeah my wife is smoking hot.
>>25090129
Oh, I see.
What's her name?
>>25090144
i never got to ask her. so whats your name?
she's the cutest female on this board.
>>25090168
You're a funny guy, anon.
Here, have a picture of her with a big dog.
>>25090225
you are cute as fuck. i would beta orbit you and the introduce you to my 6'5 white chad co-worker with blue eyes.
>>25090249
Kek. That's really, really pathetic.
Even in your fantasies you put yourself as the beta orbiter?
>>25090314
he prob wouldn't go for it anyway, not because she isn't cute.. she is.
but he has this rule where he won't let me introduce girls to him. its not like he needs help meeting girls really, but i think he does need help meeting a quality girl but won't let me try to help him kind of.
he dates around because he hasn't found a good girl yet, what a guy huh.
and there's nothing wrong with the beta orbiter in that scenario.
this thread legit gave me a case of the "tfw no qt gf" feels, thanks op. u win.
>>25090519
You're welcome, buddy.
>>25090412
You're the funniest memester on this board right now.
>>25090036
I thought that was her arm, and that her hand was missing from a burn or birth defect.
fuck i am clamming up and i can't beee myself around a qt chick IRL.
online too it seems.
>>25090650
I guess you can't compete.
You're at a party and you see this qt passed out in a chair.
What do you actually do?
this is where i say ridiculous shit but i don't want to right now because i care about not looking like a stupid.
beta IRL and beta online too.
>>25090740
kiss her on the lips
>>25090740
>Get blanket
>Tuck her in
>Write a note
>Tape note to forehead
>Note reads; I am wearing Rape Protection, good luck shredding your dick into string cheese.
>>25090854
i would do the same except the note would say "would you really rape a bitch with no chin and saggy cheeks?"
>>25090854
this is better. i can't be witty like this around a qt pi that's why i hide on r9k.
>>25090740
>bring her home
>make her breakfast in the morning
>say, "you don't have to tell me what happened, but you do need to eat these"
>hand her a bowl of eggs
>>25090573
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIjVuRTm-dc
>>25090036
>disgusting tattoos
Not even worthy of a semi hard-on.
>>25090854
I would grab a cucumber and stick it up her twat, effectively removing any rape prevention apparatus her vaginal walls may be housing.
Once I've ascertained that the vaginal premises and clear, I proceed to insert my extraordinarily long and monstrously girthy penis inside her. She'd orgasm upon entry. In fact, it would send her into orgasmic convulsions which immediately sober her up, making her fully aware of the moment.
She'd gaze down upon my stallionesque phallus and instinctively be inundated with lust. We'd lock eyes and she'd stare intently as if to say, "Ravage my pussy."
And I'd do it. With every thrust and stroke she shivers, clawing at my back with primal lust. This goes on for hours. We wouldn't take notice of the party goers who gathered around to spectate...mouths agape in disbelief that one man can harnass such raw, sexual energy. A line of Stacys would form behind me, each one eagerly awaiting her turn to experience my transcendent cock.
This was all a game to me from the start. I've never heard the word "no" and I never will.
this robot thinks you're a qt 3.14.
every now and then i see a qt that makes me doki doki.
>>25090740
In all honesty
>Find another guy at the party
>"Yo, this chick's passed out, does anyone know who she came with?"
>Figure out who she came with
>Make sure they can get her home safe
inb4 white knight, i'd do it for a guy too.
>>25091104
anyone who doesn't put 2d dicks on a passed-out male and 3d dicks on a passed-out female is a cowardly fag.
>>25091074
That's nice, Anon.Original Post
>>25091126
You should also put your nuts in the guys mouth and on his forehead.
>>25091104
so basically instead of safely raping her with your pristine virgin penis like the other stand-up guys here, you would recruit whatever strange chads you can find to gang-bang her with their diseased and more powerful penises? no shit you're not a white knight.
>>25090036
Is that a corn dog? That shit looks delicious. No way that little thing is eating it all on her own, she better share.
>>25090740
>pick her up
>carry her to bed
>put a cover over her
>cuddle her and go to sleep
>she wakes up the next morning and goes "wtf"
>pretend to not know what's going on, either
>>25090044
>>25090144
>>25090688
>>25090944
>>25091000
>>25091199
checked gets
my pee pee is small and cute
>>25091172
lol ya
put nuts on your bros, put dick in those hos
don't switch up dat shit, else you a faggit
>>25091074
You should write female erotic novels Anon.
>>25091199
That's pretty no homo man.
>>25091224
yes my pee pee is small and cute. much smaller than the corndog in the op.
>>25091224
I'm sure it is. Perfect for suckling. Thanks for checking.
>>25091074
fuck off Christopher Poole.
>>25091227
Did I really just read that?
>>25091325
read what, that thing you read? of course not.
>>25091325
are you saying you would do the opposite? because that's pretty gay bro
>>25090314
i would buy her a comfy bed if i was her bf. a nice pillowtop, her bed does not look comfy.
>>25090036
You realize that woman get grossed out by a dick if it's big past a certain point like height right?
>>25091410
that's not true of dick size or height. a 6'6" guy with a 9-inch penis will get dumped in a second if his girl meets a 15' guy with a 3' penis, and she'd kick him to the curb if she met a 200' guy with a 60' penis. there's no cap on it. you know, kind of like your all-shaft penis that ends in a smooth, hole-less stump.
>>25091410
>this is what dicklets actually believe
You've never even had sex before, have you?
>>25090944
Please post the cap anon
please do not post penises in this thread thank you. this is a good orbiter thread just feed off the energy here.
>>25091462
>that man can never go balls deep.
>>25090740
rape her
please no robocuckbl0xx
>>25091497
he could in a cow. or a woman he was killing with his penis.
>>25091497
They shove literal human beings out of their pussies. I'm sure any woman could accommodate that dick.
would cuddle this girl platonically too afraid to make a move until she cucks me /10
and here we discover why i suck at dating.
>>25091562
Yes and while shitting out babies the women are in insane pain.
>>25090036
>yfw guys this big are actually miserable and unable to enjoy sex
>>25090740
Keep walking.
>>25091585
The pain is negated by intense orgasms
>>25091585
No they aren't. Plenty of women has multiple orgasms during childbirth. It's been well documented.
>>25091590
If your cock is over 9.5 in length its now impractical for fucking and only good for visual sake to a woman. Those dudes with monster dicks will never be deepthroat, have anal, or even balls deep sex.
>>25091620
ugh. glad i was a c-section. lol to you fags who diddled your moms' clits on the way out
>>25091462
>>25091497
its a shop retard
>>25090036
>take a big bite of her corndog
>then another
>then another
>and yet another
>"nah im around this big :3"
>>25091659
>I've never seen anything like this before so it must be fake hurr sure
BACK TO REDDIT
>>25091659
unshopped version then
>>25091639
False, women's vaginas are very accommodating, and have watched porn in which women have had an arm shoved inside their asses
>>25091620
Orgasm distracts them from the pain.
who cares u don't even need a penis to cuddle a qt reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
sex and foreplay is over in like 30-40 minutes anyway no big deal.
>>25091692
Your average woman isn't able to take that much without pain. The guy's dick would bend too, and their erection are harder to keep, softer.
i would be this woman's beta orbiter.
>>25091771
Jesus Christ man...how pathetic do you have to be that you designate yourself an orbiter in your own dreams?
>>25091830
beta orbiting is pretty fun robot.
>>25091866
Almost as much fun as being cucked right?
>>25091964
if there's no pain, then there's no gain.
>>25092016
kekekekek
man I hope this is memes
>>25092732
its not a big deal they are just feelings.
>>25090036
Woman in plain black long sleeved shirts give me such a boner. I don't even know why. It's a strange attraction.
>>25090740
She has to eat all of the eggs
>>25093290
>>25090944
Can someone PLEASE post this cap
*unsheathes burnt corndog*
>>25090740
Turn 360 and walk away
