>who else /depersonalization/ here?
I feel like i can't even control my body and that i'm on full auto-pilot. Fuck I hate this feeling. Any robots ever dealt with this? I've had it on and off for years, but it's getting pretty bad recently.
Only things that help are running and drinking.
>>25065955
stop whining about your bullshit diseases special snowflake
I've had this for over 5 years. The only way to cope is to just accept you'll never feel normal.
>>25066038
didn't say it's a disease, but rather a symptom from anxiety.
it's not like i'm saying i have species dysphoria
>>25066048
how did you get it? I think i got mine from a panic attack I got while stoned.
>>25066099
Social isolation. I had no friends or a meaningful relationship with my parents throughout high school.
>>25066161
>Social isolation.
think it might be some of this as well. went from having a strong friend group to spending most of my time alone or at work.
>>25065955
I've had moments where I've suddenly realised that this is real life, and not a dream or videogame or something. Like I felt detached from reality, and my own body, and then when I became aware of it I'd go through 'layers' of it, and have to repeatedly tell myself that this was real. I'd feel closer to reality with each layer I went through.
It's hard to explain. I've always thought it was because I played loads of videogames, so was actually assuming that things weren't real at that point. Never did anything dumb based on that though
>>25066255
>real life, and not a dream or videogame or something.
have definitely had that. It's crazy how it's it comes as such a shock to us that life is actually real. Makes you wonder why we try to run from it so much.
I go to a meditation center every tuesday and one thing that has been super helpful there is realizing that we are not our thoughts. We organize our thoughts sure, but associated our essence with them will only lead to pain since thoughts kind of just well up from our consciousness and dont' define it.
>tfw ive been like this ever since i was 8
>tfw always depressed
>never any friends and most people who said they were my friend just liked making fun of me
>i remember crying all night till i went to sleep
>bc of depression i never left the house
>now im rlly stupid, studder, and can't talk to anyone without panicking
pls kill me
>>25066306
this. its very helpful to not label what you're experiencing
>>25066685
Im in the same boat, family
>wanted to kill myself since early age
>never had people who were close to me
>was always the weirdo of the class
>bullied by both teachers and classmates because slow
>never had any motivation or goals
>now a college dropout and a NEET
And you know what, Im actually happiest in my life right now. No more anxiety, no more bullying, no more of this suffering. Even if Im still a worthless piece of shit I no longer feel like dying. I talk to myself a lot, I meditate, I try to live a healthy lifestyle overall. It helped me a lot to overcome some of my insecurities. I finally started having dreams, lots of them, and its amazing.
Please remember, anon, not being a normie is not the end of the world, but shutting yourself in is though. Try to take care of yourself
>>25067087
>>25066685
i sincerely hope everything works out for you robots. I know it's cliche, but i mean it.
I've been suffering from major depressive disorder since I was 12, later on in my life disassociation and depersonalization crept in high school, and I'm 21 now.
I always feel like I'm asleep, and I never know what's real and what's not. IT feels like were already dead, and this world is just hell from the real Earth somewhere else, beyond this "reality"
All I want to do is wake up, but this might be real, this might not be real, if anything now I just try to keep my social life together, and have been falling apart internally for a while now.
It can be comforting thinking that none of this is really happening though, nothing matters.
Typing this out now, I feel more fucked than I thought though.
Oh well.
>>25067661
it's hard keeping it together socially.
I feel like I appear normal on the outside, gut inside it's fucking chaos. It's like my brain attacks everything i love. If I like music, well my brain will analyze it to the point of redundancy until it's not music anymore.
>>25067709
It makes everything seem so pointless, so socializing is definitely difficult.
I have a social mask I use when I'm around people to make socializing bearable, but I only feel like me when I'm absolutely alone.
>>25067087
>>25067487
thank u guys, made me feel a lot less lonely :')
i had two episodes of it. both times were when gf touched my asshole... abt 4 years apart.
i was prob raped as a kid
>click on address bar
>mash keyboard and click history suggestions without paying attention
>zone out and don't even read page while eyes are out of focus and blurry
>repeat
who does this
>>25068316
I've had that. What's even worse is when words don't stick and you can't understand what the sentance is saying
>finish reading a simple sentance
>brain is retarding to the point where you can't put the words together in your head to form a picture
It's like life before you could read.
>>25066038
It's a real disorder fuckboi
>>25068706
About a year ago I completely forgot how to read for like half an hour, as in letters just looked like completely meaningless symbols. I wasn't tired, drunk or in any other altered state of mind so I've still no idea what caused this. I thought my fucking brain broke, I've never been so terrified in my life.
Are you guys using drugs? Stop
>>25066685
this but I can actually talk...
only thing that makes anything better is alcohol or marijuana and even then shortly after I am back to the same dep/der mentality. I want it to end.
>>25069444
Was like this prior to drug use.
>>25068706
I do this shit a fucking lot. I used to be an avid reader in middle school, but this shit started happening and I just quit reading.
how do we get out of this robots?
>>25069440
see a neurologist. that's not psychiatric most likely. could have been some form of epilepsy or migraine
