>playing TF2
>kill a random guy in a humiliating way
>taunt after killing him to acknowledge that his death was goofy
>he instantly spergs out
>"you sure you really wanna do that bro?"
>I don't respond or show any indication that I heard him
>he spends the rest of the game trying to hunt me down
>every time I kill him I just give another taunt, no words
>hes spamming in the chat "LOL YOU'RE SO GOOD DUDE I WISH I WAS AS GOOD AS YOU"
>kill him one more time, taunt, then leave before he can come back and kill me
>after I quit the game he tries adding me to yell at me more via Steam messages
>ignore request
>block communications
it's the little things in life
Literally nothing brightens my day, my existence is miserable. Everything I do is just ammo for me to mock myself for.
>>25042579
do you think there is anything out there that could make you happy?
>>25042547
Watching Miss Monochrome and other lighthearted kawaiidesune anime.
Can't deal with the feels of serious themes anymore.
>playing Dirty Bomb as Proxy
>plant mines on enemy healing station
>injured enemies rush to get healed but get blown up instead
>angry angry messages on chat
Makes me happy every single time.
>>25042643
Yes, there are a few things that could but I can never make them come true. They're fantasies and unless there is some divine intervention they could never be real.
>>25043587
what are they friend?
>>25043636
You would just make fun of me m8, and so would everyone else so it's best I don't say.
>>25043693
i dont make fun of robots, only normies
>>25043713
Well, alright.Had a gf once, she cucked me after two years. It's better we're not together but the whole time we were I was suppressing my true feelings- I didn't want a gf, I wanted a mother. I wasn't really sexually attracted to her and haven't been sexually attracted to women for quite a while. After we broke up (a couple months ago) I came across a girl on youtube named Rose. I watched a couple of her videos, thought she was really cute. Don't know much about her though. I just know she's 30 or something like that, and it hit me that she's around the age that my mother was when she abandoned me. Well, I did see my mother occasionally, she didn't live with us, but when I did she was always drunk. Abused me when I was a little under two years old, while drunk. Put me in a car and drunk drove when I was 7 or 8. Really traumatized me, shattered my ability to relate to women. Anyways, I stopped watching that girl's videos but it made those suppressed feelings come to light. I just want her to be my mother honestly, and it's pathetic. I want to be a little kid with a mommy, no daddy, just raised and loved. I feel sick when I think of romantic relationships, especially with women. They feel so dirty, based on sex and all that. I just want the pure, natural love in a mother-son relationship. I write stories all the time about her being my mommy when I'm a little kid, taking care of me, playing games with me, they've gotten so elaborate over the last few weeks as to be disturbing, like I'm trying to convince myself it's the childhood I had.
Anyway, that's it I guess. I avoid /rose/ threads like the plague, so don't call me a rosefag. She's just a placeholder for my needs I guess. I feel sick, I feel ill, and most of all I feel damaged. I said this in a couple other threads and people said I am broken beyond repair, which I agree with. It just hurts. I want to be a man, and I am, everyone I know thinks I'm manly. It just feels shameful.
>>25043862
hmm well you're problem isn't really wanting a mommy gf, it's that you want a nonsexual mommy gf
thats pretty impossible to find, since most guys like you who have mommy issues want sexual relationships, and most mommy gfs are also in it for the sexuality of it
I say give a therapist a shot. You're really not that weird anon, it's not like you have a rape or pedo fetish, you just had a fucked up childhood and you want to make it feel better
>>25043966
>>25043862
Wow brobots actually helping each other out for once.
>>25043966
I appreciate you listening m8.
Thing is I've talked to a therapist. She says it sounds so deeply rooted that there's not much that can be done. She said at first it sounded like PTSD, but it's not even that when I'm with women I shut down, it's just a constant withdrawal from them. So she says it sounds like besides actually getting someone to be my mom, there's not much I can do.
Problem is I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, manifesting more obsessive than compulsive. Meaning, to me, it would all need to be perfect. It would have to be that girl in particular who is my mom, it would have to be the exact right situation, I would need to be young and not aware of my situation, or else my mind couldn't stop racing.
It feels good to tell someone the full extent of it. I have suppressed it so long that it almost scares me, I never thought of myself as mentally ill or different from most people, but it's actually a pretty whacky issue.
Again, thank you for the listening. You don't have to respond or anything.
>>25044065
Happy to listen and I understand anon, you need that perfect thing to be happy but it's impossible to get that perfect thing.
What do you plan to do? You hate your life because it can't be what you would like it to be, but is there something else you can live for? I lost my best friend to cancer who I cared about more than anything in the world and a large part of my reason to live is gone. However, I still enjoy some things and am able to live for minor things.
For example, I know it sounds stupid, but I don't want to die or kill myself until I get to play Half-Life 3. Do you have any small things like that? Interests or hobbies to focus your energy and time on?
>>25044064
all we've got is each other anon
>>25042547
females ogle at me and I ignore them and keep staring straight ahead
(im asexual family members)
>>25044214
mein nigger. I don't know if I would call myself asexual, maybe just low test, but I don't have any desire for females. it is the little things
>>25044188
I'm really sorry to hear about your best friend man, that's a shame.
It doesn't sound stupid, I have similar goals. I'm always pushing off my suicide until the next game. It was MGSV, then Fallout 4, now Dark Souls 3, and so on. I will make it, and I can cope with this. Honestly it might just be a blessing to not have to worry about finding a grill since I'm not really attracted to them, or anyone for that matter. But yeah, I've got a few things like that. Would like to be a game developer someday, maybe make comedy videos, I don't know. Just silly little things. But you're right. There are reasons to hang in there.
It's rare to find someone who doesn't give normie-tier advice. Someone who understands holes in your life that can't be filled. Again, really sorry about your best friend.
>>25044259
appreciated robot. I hope we both find ways to enjoy the rest of our lives.
>>25044255
it's not all that great desu. still get lonely. but i love that I can see women for the whores they are and not desire them sexually
>>25044345
to combat loneliness from lack of relationship you gotta find likeminded people. make friends with science guys and manchildren, guys who don't care much about women and won't cast you aside for a gf
>>25043862
I recognize you from when you posted one of your stories in a mommy gf thread. It made me feel, you write pretty well.
That said, reading the back story and seeing why you write these stories is pretty heartbreaking. I thought it was some weird fetish shit.
Tf2 is by far the best game when it comes to annoying children
>Play sniper
>Play sniper with Pissgun
>Play huntsman sniper
>Play Minisentry Engineer
>Play Demoknight
>Taunt whenever you get a kill
>Taunt whenever you dominate someone
>Play spy with C&D, target only one person
>Play Sandman+Cleaver
>Play Crit a cola+Shortstop
I've been kicked from over 10 servers for taunting and aimbotting. Holy shit it gets me everytime
>>25044470
the best is when they go off in the chat and no one responds so they're just furiously typing away into the void
or even better, after they go on a rant just hit them with a simple quick "lol". sends them off again
>>25042547
>work in a restaurant
>lots of young families come in to eat
>always have babies in the dining room
>tfw every time a baby looks and smiles at me
Makes my job less shitty for a moment
>>25044578
babies are cute as hell anon, glad it makes u happy
>>25042547
I used to do that all the time.
I would do something noobish like spamming stickies at doors and taunt every time.
People would immediately go full capslock on me.
