/britfeel/
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Tuesday edition.
Wtf you doin with your life son?
>>25006568
1st for Holly come back
>>25006568
GETTING HENCH
Seriously lifting things and then putting them down again is the only thing stopping me from killing myself right now
>>25006576
1st for holly can fuck off
watching b0aty play runescape.
>>25006568
>wake up
>go to mosque
>pray to Allah peace be apon him
>meet to smoke shisha and eat kebab
>walk home and see wifes ankle
>get angry
>shout at 4 year old son to study the Qur'an
>complain to government that they aren't giving me enough free money and how racist their society is
>pray on my magic flying rug to Allah
>Go back to Mosque and pray again
>>25006568
What else is there other than wagecucking?
>>25006646
haha very nice injoke my man i like it a lot :)
>First day home from university
>Parents at work
>Smoke a joint in the back garden with the cool air and glass of water
>Make amazing spotify playlist
feels alright desu senpaiDUDE WEED LMAO
>>25006568
just came home from college on a 'free' .debating if i should go back or just get drunk desu senpai
DXM IS KEWL
>>25006769
go back and get drunk tonight
>>25006789
dont do that
>>25006750
got any andre bratten on ur playlist unilad?
i fucking hate street sign double captcha
>tfw you can't thank or compliment someone without it sounding fake and forced
anyone else know this feel?
>>25006568
I wish I knew~
>>25006769
Go back lad
struggling to find work in my shitty small town so i can fucking move out of my goddamn parents house
>>25006861
i can find work in a local town but ive had jobs there in the past and sperged out and quit and dont want to work there now in case i see someone ive worked with in the past and they make fun of me
>>25006746
Is this sarcastic because i just assum when ever anyone says anything i just assume it sarcasism because i cannot give or take compliments
>>25006924
yeah this time it's sarcasm bad luck.
you can counteract this by leaving garbage posts like this on >>>/int/
thanks for ur co-operation :)
not much, just falling in love with girls from TV shows once again :/
important britfeel poll for britfeel census information
http://strawpoll.me/6273554
>>25006852
fuck off tilde pls
>>25006937
:(
Its true tho the Muslims are taking over
>>25007026
I'm thinking about converting already.
Don't want to be one who converts because they're forced to. I'll be at the bottom of the pyramid. I wanna get on this ride early.
>>25007090
Yeh but if you wanna go to the full ideology then you have live a boring ass life that involves living as a fucking pestent. You would have to get rid of everything fun the only thing you would be allowed to keep would be you CP as i heard they endorse that
>>25007090
lowest of the low on /r9k/, well done anon
>really want to buy a lewd anime figure for my collection but scared of displaying it
Suffering, might still get it but keep it in the box
>>25007204
What figure you planning on buying lad?
And yeah, you could always just keep it out of sight~
>>25007090
>being this cucked
THE FILTER IS GONE YATTA
>>25007265
Suzuki Margit, it came out a while ago but it's being sold new at a few places.
I haven't bought a lewd fig before, I normally just buyfigs from the Monogatari series and stuff. I haven't bought one in months though, mainly been buying PS4 games
>>25007309
Looks nice familia~
I've never bought a lewd fig either. I haven't bought figures for a few years since there aren't any of my waifu. Can get quite expensive as well~
cucked
You have been muted for 20 seconds, because your comment was not original.
>>25007390
Sounds like something a cuck would say desu
>>25007383
>Can get quite expensive
Yeah it's the reason I stopped before. I also have this preordered because Spoogy Ougi is worth any price.
I'm going to have to put a stop after those two though, it's a slippery slope and I don't want to spend a fortune.
Polaboo failed his driving theory
Got 35/50
The internet questions were different
Passed the hazard perception even though he forgot that was part of the test
Just applied to uni desu senpai. Waiting for offers
>>25007591
Fuck off, underage normie shitstain
at work, it's absolutely pissing it down l a d s. decided to seek shelter in the polytunnel. it's times like these where my job is not very comfy at all. have to walk home in this shit as well
>>25007576
>The internet questions were different
I used 'Theory test UK 2015 DTS" app on my phone
It has all the questions used in the test, just went on it every evening whilst watching TV for a week before my test and got a perfect score. All the answers I already knew from the app.
The depression is real
>>25007646
I'm 18 with no friends to hang out with and forced to go uni because muh future
>showed my counsellor a cute picture of Umi, Eli and Nico.
>Told her to choose the cutest
She chose Umi. What does this mean?
>>25007576
How?
How clinically retarded do you need to be fail a test which almost entirely common sense?
You fucking deserve to be here.
>>25006646
>Written by an angry 'white' NEET who does nothing all day.
>>25007799
It means she was just humouring you mate, you're going on 'the list'.
Just back from the psychiatrist, says she will see me again in 6 months.
My bennies better be safe lads or there will be hell to pay.
>>25007799
You've got problems
>>25007826
She wouldn't do that, she is nice.
>>25007266
But is it desu senpai
so bored
might go back to sleep
zzzzzzz
>>25007849
How come desu?
>>25007905
we are free to cuck, but not to baka desu senpai
am so bored I might start watching anime again whats good right now
>>25006646
the NEETness oozes through this post
I went university, handed in my coursework, got my watch back from my cousin. Now I'm studying for a test tomorrow
>>25007818
It's not, that's what I thought but there were questions on road signs, road markings and other things you couldn't just assume the most sensible one
>>25007960
Doesn't change the fact you're an inferior paki
>>25007919
You're showing your counsellor anime pictures. That's weird
>>25007973
> inferior
> paki
hahaahahahahahahahaha
hahaahahahahahahahahaha
>>25007973
Fuck off back to /pol/,you tedious cunt
>>25007818
>a test which almost entirely common sense?
Found the NEET who's never done the test. I passed it, due to learning pedantic shit that will never come up on the road.
>>25007960
>wearing a watch
why
>>25007994
because watches are nice and collectible
>>25007984
I'm not /pol/ lad but you can't possibly think you freaks are on the same level as white men.
>>25008001
they look silly unless your paying big money for them and your phone tells the time
>>25008004
> not a /pol/ lad
> believes the colour of your skin makes you superior
lol
Shit weather makes me want to lounge around.
Might play some more guitar, fallout 4 is boring as fuck
>>25008001
Its spelt collectable
What are you studying lmao
>>25008020
How do you reason to your religion when shitposting on 4chan?
Not the comfiest of threads desu, post quality is usually better this time of day
>>25007969
>>25007988
I said 'almost' entirely - learning the road signs take 10 minutes tops, then there's maybe one or two mathsy ones about stopping distances and the rest is shit like:
You see an old lady about to cross a zebra crossing, do you:
1. Slow to a halt until she crosses.
2. Keep going over the zebra crossing.
3. Honk your horn and shout, "Get out the road, you old fucking biddy."
>>25008039
computer science
>>25008040
I'm not a paki
>>25008051
Wait, are we doing CYOA again?
I vote for 3.
>>25008051
3 is the correct answer, obviously
>>25008051
Found the paki desu
>>25008004
>you can't possibly think you freaks are on the same level as white men.
>At least I'm not a Paki
Whatever helps give you an imaginary sense of self worth m8
>>25008093
>Shitskin
>Believe a pedo religion with few good, morale tales
>Religion that fucked up the whole east
Haha no, you're basically honourably white people haha. So GOAT.
>>25007988
>I passed it, due to learning pedantic shit that will never come up on the road.
Same, made a point of learning and revising about tram signs and crap like that and passed np.
people only come to me when they want something, money or undesirable tasks performed.
it's not the selfishness that bothers me, it's that they must not think i pick up on it. i can't tell if they think i'm dumb, or they just think that little of me.
>>25008125
You're lying though. Some pakis on here said it''s a common sense test, don't even have to glance at one of those booklets m8.
>>25008186
so call them out for it anon?
Please stop using the p word lads I have a friend from pakistan and I am very offended by it
>Mum: "my phone won't switch on"
>Me: "Did you let it run out of battery completely again?"
>Mum: "yes"
>>25008236
>mum
>not mam
cuck
>>25008236
Give her a box round the ears mate
>>25008262
Fuck off and send me my licence back you cuck.
Serious question how does an objectionally ugly manlet like myself get a gf?
>>25008235
There's not even any real pakis on here, just Autists.
All the real Pakis are busy fucking the White girls that these guys are too beta to get.
>>25008276
fuck off cunt would love to heem you
PAKIS OUT KEK
>>25008305
>>25008291
Good luck with that child.
>>25008315
>being proud of being old
>>25008197
It's common sense based on experience from being a driver (and a passenger) or a cyclist. I don't live in Blackpool or Manchester or any other of those quaint northern outposts where trams are still a thing so I read up on them to fill in gaps in my common sense and aquired knowledge then passed without getting any wrong at all.
>>25008344
Sarcasm you dumb, inbred kuck. Learn it.
>>25007576
Ive got mine next week.
How can I revise the hazard perception its fucking bullshit that I have to buy the app AND the theory app. fuck that off.
>all this bitching
>>25008311
Where'd Pak go?
>>25006568
Anyone in Reading wanna smoke a spliff?
>>25008363
Buy the book or download a .PDF
Don't be a retard, its really not hard
>>25008363
>>25008420
Sorry hazard perception?
If you can't pass that with common knowledge you shouldn't be on the road
>>25008420
Not the hazard perception though
>>25008363
Find a .torrent or some shit, why are people this thick?
>tfw Deborah died out of cancer not that long ago
Makes me feel old, brothers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJS3xnD7Mus
>turns on itv2
>jeremy kyle show
>state of this cunt
Honestly, I'm fucking lost for words.
I don't even know why I switched it on
>>25008485
>that song came out 20 years ago
>>25008501
jezzaK is a hero
#InternationalTeaDay what are you drinking ?
pg decaff for me
>interview at 9am
>about 150 miles away
>got up at 5:30 for it
>interviewer couldn't make it
>sent away and they'll reschedule after christmas
>only just got back
ffs
jizzum
>htv
>opal fruits
>>25008580
Tell 'em where to shove it.
>>25008501
kek just turned it on for a laugh.
Living pretty good neet right now, was living with my dad paying rent through jsa, but now hes in the mental hospital and im all alone at the house with no bills, only had to pay electric and gas and the rest is food, drugs and alcohol.
Since you asked, op
>>25008613
I'm sure this cunt was on Judge Rinder, he wanted his sugar daddy to pay for his dress or something after he went off with a younger more attractive twink.
>>25008621
Uhh why is he at the mental hospital?
>>25008652
manic schizo plus bipolar, he should be good in a few months
>>25008363
You don't need to revise hazard perception. If you fail it you are a retard. It's ridiculously easy.
>>25006640
im with you man, are you online now? im keen for a sesh desu
Muscles are exhausted from pushing myself already. That 15 min of cardio before walking to a long 8-9 hour work shifts and reduced food intake are already taking its tole.
Going from like 2500 calories average to under 2000 is a big jump. Especially when you're trying to burn 400 calories ontop.
That's almost -1000 each day.
But I have to keep going. Just tell my limbs to suck it up. Dieting/exercise alone hasn't helped me stop being a fatass, I have to do both together and be strict about it.
Else I'll just be a useless disgusting fat person the rest of my lonely life. And I don't want it anymore.
>>25008668
you ever shown any symptoms or has it skipped a generation? what was he doing?
What county are you guys in?
Oxfordshire here.
>2 quid per proton brownie bar
>50g protons
>400 calories
>only 24g carbs, 16g complex 8g sugar
STOP ME BEFORE I ORDER 20 BOXES
>>25008725
he tried to wank himself to death
>>25008727
North Somerset
>>25008725
No im pretty good, nothing related to schizophrenia just panic attacks very infreequently, and he was talking about how he is the centre of a "trans dementional religion" and breaking all the light bulbs.
He also went out for half an hour often and i don't know exactly what he was doing but one time he was completely naked and doing balay, and he is severly overweight
>>25008727
Bedfordshire represent
>>25008613
>>25008627
yeah he was
known as "glam sam"
>>25008727
North Yorkshire
Fortunately not near any pakis like in West Yorkshire
>>25006568
>mfw i am american i live in america
>girls dont like me
> i find chinese girls on okc all the time that talk to me and are interrested in me no matter how many memes or fucked up things i tell them. They still talk to me.
I want to move to china so bad . my dream girls are in china . im going crazy everyday .
>>25007818
Pakis have very low IQ
>>25008712
I'm proud of you lad~
Mustn't be easy but it's really great that you're trying your best. Keep at it
>>25008020
>race is only skin deep
>its not proven that whites have higher IQ than all but yellow people
>tutor partner gets called in to talk about his attendance when he misses a few lectures
>I haven't been to uni in weeks minus the assessed labs/tests
>not one email
I assume they dont give a fuck if you get alright grades
>>25007752
uni is going to be tough if you arent good at making friends
>>25008872
why you posting in britfeel then?
>>25008727
E S S E X
S
S
E
X
Bloox
>>25008872
>ChinaChinaChina
You're not one of those beta males who think girls will flock to you because your white right? They flock to white alpha males.
Poleaboo may have made a very serious mistake and wonders how long it will be until people start looking for her.
>>25006568
>wake up
>drink rum
>play guitar for half an hour
>go to the pub
>get a pint of overpriced stella
>buy some fried wings and chips
>go home
>nap for a few
>wake up feeling dehydrated and my whole body sweaty and tired and beer on my breath
>barely any money left and still no job
Wasteman ting desu, I drink too often and want to die anyway. Haven't had friends or talked to anyone outside my friends for years desu.
>>25009113
become a drug dealer
always people to talk to and everyone wants to be your friend
who here has no friends?
You have been muted for 8 seconds, because your comment was not original.
>>25009113
>Pub that sells fried wings
Holy Paki, Batman!!
>Tfw want to get drunk but it is too cold, dark and wet to walk to the shop
It's like 20 minutes there and 20 minutes back. I dunno what to do.
Normally I'd ride my scooter and it only takes 5 minutes but it is too wet I would skid out.
>>25009633
Just do it now lad. Get it over and done with. You will regret it.
>>25009633
Just do it now Iad. Get it over and done with. You will regret it.
>>25009626
Not at the pub, down the road from it m816.
woooooooooooooooohohohoooaaaa
i want to exercise but I'm tired as FUCK lads, what do?
>>25009609
Just one friend
Where did it all go so wrong?
Being a failed normie is worse than being a literal retard, I don't even have an excuse
>>25009780
Drink some coffee and get on with it you pussy
>>25009888
i actually want to do it because i got irregular hearbeat recently and do little to no cardio so i figured it might strengthen my heart a little bit. wouldnt cardio on caffeine be contra productive for that? i take quite a bit of caffeine daily so i thought this might strain my heart too. i dont want to lose any weight I'm normalweight.
>>25009609
>>25009820
22 year old autist reporting, literally have 0 friends since 6 years. i also never went out in those 6 years, only go to work and grocery shopping or buying other neccesary shit. shit this will be the 7th new years eve where I'm alone
my best years wasted, feels extremely horrible
>>25009951
It will increase your heart rate yes but I don't know I'm not a doctor, go talk to one mate
>>25009780
sleep then exercise
you get the most from exercise after you wake up anyway
Broke my weeklong SSRI-aided no-fap today.
Nearly passed out when I came, lads.
>>25010018
u fken wot
caffeine increases my heartrate maybe by 5 beats per minute. but it seems to increas the irregularity of the beats
>>25010037
>you get the most from exercise after you wake up anyway
maybe if you're a fatass who wants to lose weight.
and i dont have time to sleep now i gotta sleep in like 4 hours anyways cuz wagecuck ;_;
>sat a bar in the hipster part of town
>some guy starts talking to me about music
>release all my spaghetti and talk about roddy piper for 20 minutes
>guy stops talking to me and moves to another part of the bar
fuck sake boys, could've had a friend
>>25010106
How the fuck does that even come up in conversation lad?
>>25010126
He brought up John Carpenter's album. He hadn't seen They Live so I went through it with him in depth.
Lonely enough to post despite not being UK. Feel free to call me a bloody cunt and to fuck off.
>Studying mainstream legal cases
>Researching my professors for the upcoming term
>Subscribing to finance magazines
>Trying to get a meetup together for financial counseling
>Watching news
>Trying to be intellectually productive on my day off before finally resorting to videogames
>Wondering why I'm so lonely, that feeling is starting to wane though as my habits improve
>Trying to make the best out of my mediocre job
>Tryna get cozy
>Resisting urge to experiment with my bedtime benzos
>>25008311
memes out
>>25010249
>Being circumcised
HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA, FREAK
what's for dinner l a d s? I've got a chicken jalfrezi from waitrose
>>25010332
Got three mcdonlads meals at 2pm, just been picking at them like a greasy monster all day.
>>25010106
Had a similarly random encounter the other day:
>in the pub by myself having a quiet one with a book around lunchtime
>5 minutes in the older (early 40s) guy sat at a table next to me starts talking to me
>"hoho you've only got through one pint, you look like you can put it away"
>no, I don't - I look like a skeleton, and am just trying to have a quiet lunchtime pint between tours. and besides he's only had one as well.
>"haha oh I can mate, but I've got another tour to give in half an hour so shouldn't drink more"
>"oh you're a tourguide, me too, but in London - I'm just visiting for the day...."
>ends up buying me a pint and we chatted till I had to go, bout tourguiding, the town I live in, the book I was reading
>mfw he gave me his number and said to give him a ring 'If I wanted to meet up for a drink later or over the next few days'
Was he just a genuinely friendly, lonely guy or does he want to bum me?
Serious question.
>tfw no uncircumcised roastie who squirts her fishy juice into my mouth
>>25010389
>mfw I forgot to add my face
>>25010389
Romance should never be overt. He's trying to be a friend, and it's possibly open-ended.
>>25010430
Romance should never be overt but anal escapades should always be.
>>25008727
Lancashite
>>25010488
That's some thirsty mentality if I've ever seen it
Just had a wank using lube out of curiosity, didn't really feel a difference tbqh, bit disappointed
>>25010389
>Was he just a genuinely friendly, lonely guy or does he want to bum me?
Why not both?
I spent today wondering if it is okay to cuck someone, especially if they're your father.
Stepmum not mum so not some weird incest going on
>>25010634
I don't like fancy lube. Too hard to edge. Orgasm feels less focused and desensitized.
>>25010249
you sound like a faggot
t b h
>>25010634
Whaaaaat? I just started using astroglide and its a whole other ballgame now! I blast 2-3 times the cum
>>25010730
>not some weird incest
Do you live with her? Does she fill the role of mother/caretaker? This is ignoring the fact that your Dad shags her.
>>25010746
In what way senpai?
>>25010758
Idk it just felt exactly the same as without lube, I'll admit I climaxed faster with it though
>>25010760
No I don't live with them. I'm in my mid twenties and she is only 12 years older. She is attractive and a fiesty wee lass, exactly my type.
She has seen me be in a few dead end relationships and from summer on she has been all flirty, continuously texting me. It started with her "joking" that she would perhaps want another kid and since my pa had the snip years ago if I could knock her up instead.
So that offer was turned down but since then she still texts me non-stop, has appreciated how I'm getting in better shape and that I need someone who understands me. She also made me squeeze her tits when we were drunk and watching TV
>>25010781
in the
>I like to suck men's cocks
way
>>25010852
FUCK THAT BITCH ANON
>>25010852
She could be teasing you, maybe just entertaining you with fantasies. Are you disloyal to your father? Are you the loner type?
>>25010882
Oh. That's okay then. I do.
>>25010852
Cuck your dad, anon.
You can ascend to the highest spheres of manhood.
>your love child will even look a bit like your dad
It's literally the perfect crime, holy shit
>>25010852
lol she's not interested in you
if you make a move she'll be horribly creeped out and tell yoru dad
women pull this shit all the time
>>25010891
Not a loner by any stretch, just shite at picking girlfriends. Me and my dad get along hence why I felt real bad after squeezing dem titties. We almost made out once too but again brain over boner. I try to avoid being drunk around her because we'll end up doing something we'll regret when sober.
Me and my dad are buds and if me and her did anything serious it would change the dynamic so obviously he wouldn't not notice it. Also it gives her ammunition in case we ever fell out or she wanted to get at my father somehow.
>tfw check crushes facebook
>in a relationship since last year
>mfw met them again just before that
>mfw too coward to tell them
>>25010959
How many men get the chance to cuck their own dad, anon?
You can't let a greentext story that good go.
>>25010852
My stupid male brain would probably have tried it on already. The basically medieval, and slightly oedipal, idea of seducing my fathers wife is pretty irresistible.
But if you're wondering,
>haha impregnate me lol
>squeeze my tits for no reason
Are pretty clear green lights.
>>25010389
he was a tourguide so probably wants to bum you tbf
Lads I work on a chemical plant im 18 and my mum works for the same company and I can't leave for sake of face. I want to join the paras but I'm not fit enough yet wtf do I do???
good money tho
>>25011111
Get fit thenruin your anklesjoin the paras, you thick bugger.
Such a daft post seems unworthy of such digits.
>>25011106
>he was a tourguide so probably wants to bum you tbf
I'm not sure I understand how you got from A to B there.
I'm not sure you do either.
>>25011052
Its a shame I deleted the screencaps of her telling me not to have a wank for over a week so when we fuck it it'll give her twins or something. If you have ever seen Naomi K from Onlytease, she looks similar to her
>>25011187
>Its a shame I deleted the screencaps of her telling me not to have a wank for over a week so when we fuck it it'll give her twins or something
>hurrrr does she want to bone?
LESS TALKING, MORE RAIDINGYOUR MILF STEPMUM'S VAG AND/OR BUM
>>25008880
Oh God. You won't believe how relieved I was to eat dinner just now. I was starving.
I'm still hungry but I know I have to hold off on eating something else. Food takes time to digest and make you feel full sometimes.
I normally eat until I feel full. Unfortunately the bar on what full is probably moves forward constantly for me.
>>25011055
The list goes on!
Texts at night saying I'm naked and tried to wake your dad up but he is too tired oh what a shame this is going to waste. Asking me on several occasions if I masturbate t the thought of her. Asking me to do that towel-whip thing to her butt one night in the kitchen and then remarking that it feels really good.
Maximum willpower to not just give her the D
>>25011286
It isn't a question if she wants to, its if I should go through with it!
>>25011351
no
do not
it is bad
you will regret it
>>25011187
>>25011324
Now you're laying it on too thick and I no longer believe you.
Lads I'm worried this girl I'm seeing has lied about her age. She told me she was 16 but everyone is saying she's 13 and has lied about it in the past. I don't really want to give up the only gf I've ever had and I really like her but I also don't want to date a 13 year old at 18. Should I ask her for ID or something stupid like that
>>25011324
Just do it then you faggot.
>>25011477
Sure, may as well cover your arse anon.
>>25011414
Ha, I know it looks like that but thats why its such a dilemma. Someone you want to dick but really, really shouldn't
>>25011477
So long as you believe, and she's telling you, she's 16 then it's legal.
>>25011477
Save evidence she said she was 16 to you and you're good to go
>>25011324
as harsh as this sounds, I would honestly just wait until your father passes away and then try things with her.
>been chatting to girl
>can't tell if it's going anywhere or not
>going to an art gallery with her tomorrow
advice lads?
>>25011707
This isn't a bad option, but there could be fallout with other relatives over the affair
I saw Henning Wehn today outside my wageslave hut, he's less ugly and weird looking in real life desu. He's the German guy on QI and other panel shows sometimes. Nobody wanted to be interviewed by him apart from angry old codgers so they had to get the market stall people.
>>25011707
start with tiny bits of physical contact
eventually increase it
do not increase it too fast, you need to spread it over the day
you're welcome
>>25011665
Is that how it works? I met her when she was 15 but her birthday was a few weeks ago
Drinking and setting up a VPS. I've got so many servers, I forgot where I put my personal site. Anyway, hope you're all feeling, bots.
>>25011816
Every time I see him on telly, he's always painfully unfunny, have to switch it off. Germans, I guess.
>>25012051
>>25011816
His whole shtick seems to be "haha, you kooky Brits" and "look how German I am!".
In his defense panel shows can make genuinely funny people look shit. But I wouldn't bet that's the case with him.
>>25012332
He was a proper beta trying to get people to talk to him, he would look at people but not have the courage to ask them to be on camera. He reminded me of myself to be honest. He would slightly follow them but give up without saying anything.
Also has a right belly going.
>>25011477
>I also don't want to date a 13 year old at 18.
Give me her number, I'll date her
desu watching max and paddy and crying
>>25008733
>protons
>>25011477
have you already fucked her?
Someone teach me how to make friends
>>25008733
>>50g protons
Sounds like eating it would be a positive experience
>>25012543
Yes desu. Makes me kinda laugh hearing people talk about creampies when they haven't experienced PTP squeezing your cock as she calls you daddy tbqh.
>>25012486
> max and paddy
Paddy and max!Good taste lad, cheer up.
>>25012665
Reported to the authorities
Copsbloxx
>>25011707
Sorry lads was making Mediterranean chicken.
I was entertaining her with the idea of me taking a whole set of pics of her in various poses. That way its something, and I can furiously masturbate while waiting for the situation to change. The idea went cold but might bring it up again.
Thoughts fellas?
>hot and spicy chicken drumsticks
>chinese style pork loins
>schnitzel
>baked beans
>mushy peas
>kidney beans
>malaysian style noodles
>bacon
>halloumi/smoked cheeses/wensleydale/blue cheeses
>pita wraps
>mango chutney
>orange chocolate flavored protein bar
Fuck me mates, I need to find the proper combination for dinner, but this is seriously overwhelming, it's 8pm and I have no clue how or when to even start.
i lost my p45 guys
does that mean i won't get paid for a while at my new jawb?
>>25012908
pork loins with noodles
could add the kidney beans
could have the protein bar afterwards
>tfw you realise you're in an abusive relationship
Too scared to leave desu
>>25012908
>peas and two kinds of beans in a saucepan
>heat to a boil
>stir in the protein bar
Thank me later
>>25011324
Please don't cuck your ald man, don't you care how much that would hurt him. You're probably one of the only people he feels that really cares about him. Do yourself a favor and tell this slag to stop contacting you.
>>25012938
It'll mean you might get emergency taxed.
>>25012959
Abusive how? Please explain, using greentext where appropriate. Don't skimp on any spitting or humiliation.
>For the last week dad has been hinting that he has bought my some massively expensive gift for christmas
>tfw I told him I wanted a large tub of haribo sweets and a new DS game
>he hasn't stopped hinting at it for days
>everyday 'oooh I can't wait for crimbo son' and this bullshit
Man I fucking hate receiving gifts.
He did this fucking bullshit last year as well, and bought me a fucking expensive chair even though I always sit on my bed.
Then I felt bad and sat on the chair for 38 consecutive hours, 20 of which he stood watching me, and kept asking ''you comfortable on your daddy seat son?''. Whenever I got up to take a toilet he scrambled to the chair and patted it to keep it warm. I hate the expectation of using gifts you didn't want
>>25013268
>''you comfortable on your daddy seat son?''
pretty unfunny post but that line got me tbqh
>>25013268
You've got a nice dad mate, be grateful
>>25013268
>any of this
>real
pick one and only one
>>25012959
Make-up sex is THE best though. I feel bad for anyone that hasn't been in a proper argument with an angry gf and in the heat of the moment she switches and lets you do anything to her. Closest I can describe it is this image.
>>25012665
Nice fantasy bro
Nah for real you're fucked in the head if that shit turns you on.
Should Tim Peake be allowed back to Britain after joining ISS
>>25013268
>you comfortable on your daddy seat son?
>>25013304
Of course mate, describe your fantasy with a cartoon, fucking place is full of idiots lmao
>>25008880
Why don't you fucking die of AIDS you fucking irritating cunt.
Day off from wageslavery tomorrow lads. Gonna play the guitar and make soup.
>>25013310
>Being attracted to women in their prime is 'fucked in the head'
Gonna need an explanation for this...
>>25013268
My dad refused to talk to me for 5 years between 13 and 18 and didn't try to contact me on my 18th birthday.
He did this because my mum wanted 200 pounds a month for me and my sister that he owed but he kept insisting he was broke and tried to get it lowered in the court.
Before you jump to his defence, he is absolutely fucking loaded but is just a dodgy dealer. He lived in various mansions and always had the latest small-cock-making-up-for BMW and I found out that during those five years according to him he spent around a million on his new wife and her daughter who wasn't related to him. My mum got absolutely jipped and got nothing from her divorce with him whatsoever so had to work 60 hours a week all the time I was growing up. This new one that had no kids with him? She's getting 30k a year FOR LIFE even with no kids. She has also never worked in her life.
>>25013419
>potential 13 year old calling you daddy during sex
>wanting to be called daddy by anyone during sex
>13/16 yo girl
>in their prime
Just shutup you fucking nonce
>>25013468
>any of that actually happened in the first place
>>25013434
Dude he shouldve payed for you and your sister but fuck off sbout her getting jipped from the divorce, your mum is stacey and fucked chad moneybags, its his money get fucked cunt.
>>25013510
Perhaps, but if it wasn't for her income he wouldn't have got that business off the ground in the first place.
Either way, I am considering a hit on him. Me and my Sister are the only ones left in his will now. He claims that he has a cool mill of life insurance. With that in mind, anyone want to earn a big red 50?
>>25013587
>I am considering a hit on him.
Sure you are, you low-test NEET.
>>25013612
I have a job and i'm absolutely covered in hair, I guess someone doesn't want an extra fifty pounds to spend on festive tendies.
>>25013631
Maybe you should give it to your mum m8
>Spent ages telling myself you don't like a lass
>Only met up with her once really
>Still message her almost every day
>Similar music taste
>Similar worldview
>"You're just her friend though you don't actually like her"
>Messages me today saying she's getting back with her ex
>>25013631
Turkey dinosaurs for Christmas u mad cunt
Maybe some smiley face ham too
Somebody recommend me some nice chilled out music please!!
Not ambient though. Maybe some chill-hop like Deca or Blackalicious.
Pic related, a fucking incredible chill-hop album
>>25013268
your dad might be autistic mate
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25LBTSUEU0A
>>25014104
Would enjoy seeing Nelly take black cock desu
anyone seen a film called naked?
OGGY OGGY OGGY
Anyone tried any of these drugs?
>>25014257
>drugs
related, can anyone tell me what he "led the high" with whatever that means? he basically made his waifu become reality for him
Schmokin Hweed, playin vidya and cheelin. You?
>>25014257
>cat litter and soy sauce
>it's made from trail mix and hand lotion
top laugh of the day
>>25014307
He decided what to do and the drugs made it weird and awesome. Rather than the drugs throwing sights and sounds at him and him reacting to them.
>>25014392
so how exactly, in detail, do you lead a high? are you telling me the dude literally just took hydro and focused mentally on his waifu and then she became real for him?
but judging by how he said it he took another drug as well, since he right after saying he led the high he said that hydros themselves aren't hallucinogenic, they only HELP imagine stuff more vividly. so it sounds like he took some additional stuff.
>>25014459
it's like the difference between lucid dreaming and just dreaming
>>25014497
well he said that the hydros arent hallucinogenic so it would be hard to "dream" while ur awake (he was awake in the park and walked home with his waifu)
>20 page essay due tomorrow morning
>haven't even started it
kill me baka
>>25014104
Bounce by the Ounce, mate, yeaaaah.
You know the styles, check the vibes.
"I surrender to your smile..."
>>25014558
thanks mate, i already forgot the video where fastguy is from
the roasties in the video are all hideous desu, i will never fit in with those normie males either ;_;
>>25014459
>>25014534
I am so naive about drugs, what is hydro? Is it some new fashionable thing? Is it so-called because it's made by hydrogenating something?
>>25014558
>watch the vid again
>"I'm pretty sure this is what happens in countries where there aren't enough black people around to make the white people feel embarrassed for acting like this."
BTFO
T
F
O
>>25014667
Its a newly found water based substance, its the mixed with algae scraped from the banks of resevouirs
>>25014681
not really. do you honestly think they arent aware that they look silly? it's literally about acting silly and besides that alot of them just dance halfway normally. moving to music is fun you know. except if ur a low drive fatass
>>25014681
>>25014558
>>25014104
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzP1XC51kro
at 3:20 is like the only qt i can spot ._.
but seriously, the bald dude is definitely on drugs, right? like you can be 100% certain that he is
>Poleaboo browsing /polska/
>Doesn't matter that he doesn't know Polish
>Just feels comfy
i surrender to your autism
i surrender
>>25014788
this kind of abomination is only possible up norf where you can go weeks without seeing a coloured person
say what you want about london's multiculturalism but it sure hasnt given birth to this
What did the leader of the Ottoman Empire say when he ordered his favourite sweets be renamed to Starburst in order to commemorate the renaming of Istanbul?
I can't stand an opal fruit!
>>25014843
You are fucked up lad. How was the theory test?
>>25015045
i don't understand ladm8
>>25015036
>people being able to enjoy themselves together without giving a fuck is an abomination
sour grapecuck. they probably have jobs, family and other normie stuff just like every other normie.
learn't a new song on keyboard lads
pumped up kids by foster the people
p-pls no bully
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0kX6xlvmyga
when the robots come out the normies come out to play yeah
do any cute girls post here
>>25015192
Yaaaah, i'm a cute girl lol. Don't like to say cos i don't want the attention usually :3
>>25015087
Don't worry if that's not funny right away. The humour comes from the fact that Opal Fruits were renamed Starburst, an historical move that mirrored the renaming of Constantinople as Istanbul following the fall of the Byzantine empire. Just as the leader of the Ottoman Empire can no longer stand Constantinople, he can no longer stand Opal Fruits.
>In shop the other day and FIFA 16 is set up
>play a game pretty fun
>start feeling like getting back into FIFA
>haven't bought FIFA since 13 because it is a bit of a waste of money buying it every year
>decide to have a few games on 13 then decide if I should buy the new one
>start playing online
>remember the level of scripting in the game
>makes the game completely unplayable at times
>and this is why I'm going to to continue not to buy FIFA games
It is literally the dumbest idea ever in video games. I guess the idea is it helps them sell more packs in UT.
>>25015221
post a pic of how cute u are
>>25015235
Its still not funny, it would have to have opal something to do with the ottomans at that time to actually be a joke
Want to "accidentally" send a dick pic to my friend think it would work lads?
>>25015221
i hope you're pretty
are you from london?
>>25015360
Not a bad idea desu, just make sure to play it up and pretend to be embarrassed.
>>25015360
Just send the damn pic, if you've reached this stage you're pretty sure they won't cut you out over it so just man up and do it.
>tonnes of russians and yanks and others go to space
>one english guy does
>everyone goes absolutely mental over it and it's front page news
He's not even going to mars, or even the bloody moon. Who gives a shit? He just happens to be from the same piece of land as us, doing exactly what many, many others have already done.
>>25015459
waste of money too
fucking space
>>25006568
Came back from uni home for Christmas. I'm third year and everyone has jobs and shit now. I'm twenty now and I actually have to find something to do with my life. Fuck. What do I do after uni? Kill myself?
>>25015492
Getting a job would be a good idea
>>25015386
aight i just sent it im 7.4 inches and angled it towards me so it looks even bigger
>>25015425
what stage family? you mean friends with a qt?
>>25015510
>what stage family? you mean friends with a qt?
The point where you believe they can see a pic of your dick and not stop being friends with you forever. Given this, stop being so risk averse and just send the pic
>tim peake has put britain back on the map
I sincerely fucking doubt that anyone in the rest of the world gives a single shit about something that Russia does constantly. Why are we trying to inspire kids to waste millions of pounds to float around doing nothing for a few months.
Oh, and now the ITV presenter just said 'a hell of a view' and they are showing what famous people said on twitter about the fucking story. Fuck you, ITV.
>>25015502
What job shall I procure, wiseman
>>25015560
Civil service grad scheme
>>25015551
Britain is already at the centre of all maps
>>25015566
I know people smarter than me that were rejected from that
>>25015567
Have you ever seen an Australian map?
Oz is in the middle, all the countries are the right way up but they're all in the opposite hemisphere. It's mental.
>>25015079
Failed 35/50
Dad was pissed
Going to download a theory test app, hopefully they'll be current questions unlike those online tests I was doing
>>25015045
Very droll
>>25015886
>I
Detective incoming
>>25015566
Sounds like the most soul-destroying thing ever desu.
>>25015886
Driving Test Success is what my mum and my older brother used to pass their theory.
You can get the 3in1 app that's pretty decent.or the DVDROM online for cheap from Amazon.
>>25015922
I
Each post stands on its own, there is nothing to indicate that was a poleaboo post
>i got a voicemail at 9pm
>it's for a bar waiter job in a hotel
I'm kind of scared to take it, even though shit is easy as hell since I'm not actually bartending(which I have a bit of experience with, no cocktails tho).
I'm already down to my last 2000quid from 7000 after 3.5 months of mooching of the government and living the good life of 15-20quid daily meals, 130quid pants, 1000quid plans for my phone and other bull. I know even shitter barboys who literally just pick up glasses and banter at the back make decent cash plus tips.
>>25015997
>being offered jobs
>bartending
Fuck off, normie
>>25016021
im kind of scared to take it since itll be late nights and i dont even drink (only socially and even that shit is rare, despite how much I'd love to do it, muh gains).
I'm looking forward to meeting people(esp the chicks) and at the same time scared.
Being at the crossroad of Neet roiding caveman and normie is painful.
Conflicting feelings here lads, on one hand I'm going on dates with a super cute asian girl but on the other, she's a furry. Should I just deal with her weird hobby, hopefully she never asks me to go fursuiting with her
>>25015997
Fuck off you queer paki steroid using cunt, go sell ur relapsed anus for cash
>>25016054
You will be expected not to drink when working
>>25016105
Yeah but after working everyones gonna be drinking. My past job at a hotel(restaurant-side) every fucking 11-12pm or so you see all the chefs and other staff drinking there and just having a good time.
I'd stay there but fuck me going home at 2am in manchester isn't that safe.
>>25016054
>he's one of those faggots that doesn't drink because he lifts weights and a few drinks will 'ruin it all'
Don't even call yourself a man, fucking pussy
>>25016135
yea, clearly I should be a 25% bodyfat bald headed fuck like you who drinks at least 6 beers a day and has a super EPIC beard that's just so macho.
>last smash bros presentation
>they add in yet another Fire Emblem character
Fucking hell Nintendo, i'm never going to care, stop trying to make lazy clones.
>>25016193
I lift 4 days a week and have around 12% bf
Drink every Friday and Saturday, my hair is also pretty nice as I don't use steroids like yourself mate
I enjoy my life, you just stated you enjoy drinking but don't cuz 'much gainz' you're like a fucking woman, fuck off lol
>>25015045
Stop drinking and go to bed, dad.
>>25015627
HOW HAVE WE LET THIS HAPPEN!?
To the sail! To war! TO EMPIRE!
Loved the XFM Pilkington shows and was recommended the Adam and Joe shows from the same era.
Any particular classics or starting point?
>>25016196
Well its a given they need to plug the MC of the next game.
At least we got Bayonetta though. She looks pretty good.
Evening lads~
How're you holding up tonight?
Today, I've made the decision that I am going to look into counselling or therapy. Now, I'm just getting comfy~
lana lad here, born to die is still on repeat. After listening to songs so many times you get to appreciate their complexity and outright beauty, the vocals are beautiful and the tracks amazing. I have ultraviolence and honeymoon too but they aren't particularly unique.
anyone else /freelance/ here?
>>25012644
bit acidic tbqh
not good for the teef n that
Ahh yes mmm
>up in 7 hours to start another day of wagecucking
>"never mind anon, soon be christmas"
>no plans for christmas
>>25017067
That's my thumb this is a bigass card
>>25017067
>>25017111
>MSi GAMING G SERIES GAMING 6G
>ZEROFROZR
>REMOVE BEFORE GAMING
>>25017111
I need to get my own gaming PC someday.
Can't afford it yet. Probably need several more months wagekeking.
If you watch the new Star Wars movie you are a cuck.
>>25017067
> corsair
Hahahahhahhahhahahahaa.
Had 3 of those PSU, all failed. Got 9 months out of them combined. Switched to an EVGA and it's flawless.
Also running a GTX 980 OC STRIX, 16GB of 2400mghz corsair ram, intel i5 4690k.
You got conned with a corsair PSU.
>>25017067
>buying a gaymen pc
>>25017170
It means the antistatic bag you pissbag
>>25017176
I saved up for a year and it's cost me 1400 pounds inc desk and peripherals. I do odd jobs to fit around uni work like mowing a football pitch for 75 quid
>>25017289
The current stash, case is behind me. I have everything now.
what's with all the banging on about that guy going to the space station?
it's nothing new
>>25008756
Bedfordshire oh boy
>>25017382
It's becuase he's British and that means you should start shedding tears whilst wrapped in a union jack singing the national anthem.
Me personally, i hope ISIS blow up the ex-squadie ginger fuck, inshallah
>>25008727
H E R T F O R D S H I R E
desu.
nigger nogger anal clogger
youtube.com/watch?v=NqqayXlWL8g
>>25017458
>posting shit like this when half the posters work for the security agencies
ISISFEEL
Think I'm going through alcohol withdrawl anons, feel like death since drinking too much on sunday
>>25017875
That's called a hangover mate
Only nine more sleeps till Santa comes lads
>>25018045
>mum is having all the family over
>hate her side of the family as they have been nothing but awful to me throughout my life
what excuse can i make while i go wander alone for the day/eve?
>>25017937
Maybe it's just a 30+ hangover, feel anxious and have lost my appetite
>>25015997
that's a shit job m8 your life is going nowhere
>>25017875
I know them feels lad, the anxiety is unreal. I don't get it at all when I'm not drinking. No cure or prevention, apart from drinking less
Kylo Ren is Ben Solo and murders Han
Back from the pub lads.
Bit noisey in there, but still pretty comfy.
My friend, whose birthday it was, introduced me to one of her shy qt friends. Us three are gonna hang out again on the weekend and then I mightask the girl on a date
Where do I ask her to go with me?
Do people go on dates to pubs?
>>25018404
Nandos is where you take a girl for your first outing.
>>25018513
I'm not sure that sends off the right message:
"My interests include chicken....and bugger all else basically."
>>25017200
I'm a cuck but I don't intend to watch the new Star Wars movie. Checkmate
>>25018606
You think you go to a restaurant because your interest in food? Are you stupid?
>>25018637
Yes? To one or both of those questions.
Isn't a restaurant a bit much for a first date? Also if I were to say dinner, nandos? Is that really the best way to get her to see me as an interesting guy, not some generic c(l)uck?
>>25018356
We know senpai, we know. Rey is also Luke's daughter blah blah blah. Least give us something new.
Don't take her to Nandos lad. Trick is to take her to a bar you like so she can get an idea of what you're into.
>>25018700
Is she a normie?
Normies love Nandos, it's good for a first date
who /luther/ here?
im fucking angry they killed off my waifu
better all be a ruse
>>25018700
You just don't get it. She knows what you're getting at with Nandos. Then you do the interesting second date followed by the cozy third date and sex.
What are some good unis for computer science that are:
-Near and in the east of England
-Not business focused in their curriculums
-Not as much of lefty shitholes as one might think
>>25018840
UEA, but not sure about the last point
>>25018803
>Is she a normie?
She's a girl. I'm not sure how well the normie/robot binary translates.
>>25018810
>She knows what you're getting at with Nandos
She'd know what I was getting at if I said MaccyD's mate, still not convinced about Nandos.
>>25018793
>Trick is to take her to a bar you like so she can get an idea of what you're into.
Does the pub count? Serious question. Not the one we were in earlier, but I know loads of nice pubs she might not have been to. Less good on 'bars', and their noise tends to stop me being able to concentrate.
>>25018924
>taking a girl to a pub
>on a first date
you're a mong
>>25018840
Cambridge.
>>25006568
Holy shit it's christmas next friday, lads. Pretty hype.
>>25018804
Going t wait for the whole lot to be out then do it all, need something to eat up christmas and boxing day
Made 21 quid So far buying and selling shit on killing floor 2
why do people buy this shit
>>25018941
At least I'm trying, treacle
>>25018924
>She's a girl
Then she's a normie.
>>25018965
autism tbqhwyl
>>25018924
If it's a good pub with some decent atmosphere and interesting beer on tap yes.
>>25018991
Hoping I can sell enough to get a steam controller tbqh senpaiI don't even want one
>>25018965
if you put half as much effort into a real job you'd be making more than 21 quid
>>25019042
Xbox 360 controller all the way lad. Sort it out and get one.
>>25018983
Alright mate
>>25018993
Pub it is, I'll try and spin it as 'it's cool with really good local beers in the taproom' when really all pubs should be like that and it's one I find comfy
>>25019096
>I'm not interested in advice I just wanted someone to say yes to my pub idea
>>25019069
I have several m8 I just want one because I'm an idiot
>>25019096
>>25018924
Pub is fucking stupid and your knowledge of IPAs won't blow her away like you're expecting.
Take her out for a meal, somewhere quiet (not nandos) that you can talk to her properly and get to know each other.
>>25019157
>I'm not interested in advice I just wanted someone to say yes to my pub idea
The only other advice was fucking nandos.
I can either make her think I'm a pubgoer or a nandos-goer, and I'm going tojust be myself.
Fucking nandos man - haven't even been since I was 16. Unless things have changed a hell of a lot in 6 years I'm not convinced.
>>25019249
After my initial nuclear rage at
>your knowledge of IPAs
I do see that you may have a point - I'll ask one of my foody friends (i.e. tripadvisor) where's good but not too formal.
>>25018356
implying we give a shit mate https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg-pnGFbwMQ
>>25019379
Fuck off you Whovian
im seriously thinking about graffiting a huge picture of Allah shagging a pig on a bridge over an extremely busy dual carridgeway in london.
what say you lads?
>>25019402
Can't stand that shite either mate
>>25019051
I've got a real job
>>25019406
>Allah shagging a pig
Muhammad (pbuh) surely, lad?
>>25019484
i don't know the ins and outs of the religion of peace but that sounds about right
>>25017067
>Posting goy shit on r9k coz you dar not have the nerve to show /g/
>>25019406
>what say you lads?
You sound like a daft prick. Yeah, me say that, lad.
It's monday night, I've had 5 pint cans of fosters and I'm bored out my face, what do?
>>25020645
It's technically Wednesday senpai
what the fuck I've missed an entire day
>>25020645
>>25020707
Keep off the booze, younglads.
What's going on then boys
>>25020759
It was mostly cocaine mate
>>25020675
>>25020707
Thank fuck for that I thought I'd lost most of a week
>>25020803
Maybe you have pal
>>25020820
Yesterday I managed to sleep all through daylight, that was bad enough.
>>25020883
I've done that every day since the clocks changed
>>25020988
How long do you sleep for?
>>25019406
That would literally be the greatest thing ever. Please, please do it.
When will the world end lads? I don't want to face it anymore.
![album-cover-frontweb1-72[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/NjLKlUH.jpg "album-cover-frontweb1-72[1]")
