>Look who just turned 30
>30 years without sex, consistently
>I should've been more flirty
>The weeping frog lands gently
Congrats on achieving wizard.
Hail, O Wizard!
>>25004818
>I thought I could conjure myself happy
>If only I would become a wizard
>But you don't get any powers, my life is still crappy
>Sitting in the middle of a never ending blizzard
You have reached maximum potential now. How is life different now, OP?
>>25004796
Wrap a cooked steak around your dick and squeeze while fucking it. It's exactly like tight pussy, plus you can actually eat it after and not get sick.
>>25000000
much orignal
>>25004796
Your lust for whores holds your magic back.
Let go, and embrace limitless cosmic power.
>>25004796
Enjoy your cosmic powers, OP.
>>25004796
Well done, noble wizard
NO YOU PEOPLE DON'T GET IT!
THE WIZARD POWER IS A LIE!
YOU'RE JUST SUPPOSED TO THINK THE YEARS OF SUFFERING WILL PAY OF AT THE END SO YOU WOULDN'T KILL YOURSELF!
>>25004796
If it makes you feel better, I'll be joining you in 5 years.
Apprentice wizard reporting in.
>>25004796
>http://www.cosplayhouse.com/Magicka-Vanilla-Wizard-Cosplay-Costume-Version-01.html
Your robes await you sir.
>>25005105
Your just jealous because you gave away your mana and can never join the wizard ranks
To be clear, all you have to do is not put your penis into a vagina person until 30, right?
Is fapping against the official wizard rulebook?
>>25005170
>fapping against the rules
Yeah right, I guess breathing is against the rules too? Get outta here!
>>25005170
>You can't "choose" to be a Wizard. You are destined by fate to become one.
Well, you could just have been yourself :^)
>>25005170
I find that my powers are significantly stronger when I don't fap.
>>25005137
Paradox themselves also make a cheaper variant
https://www.paradoxplaza.com/magicka-wizard-robe-green
>>25005221
>>25005251
I'll take that as a No, then.'
>>25005251
Powers?
>tfw 30 year old virgin
>tfw can't be a full blown wizard since I kissed some random slut at a party 8 years ago
>tfw lost all of my mana reserves to a low-level she-witch
Best I can hope for is to be a minor spellcaster. Feels bad man. The kiss wasn't even good.
>>25005273
Do kisses on the cheek from your mom absorb all your mana reserves or am I fine?
>>25005346
It's a pretty common thing to get kissed by your mom on the cheek, man.
I'd wager that you're fine.
I'm 26 and I'm torn between going for wizardhood or trying to become a normie. I could become a wizard easily by just keep doing what I've always done, but I'm not sure I want to.
OP, you should go have sex.
will be wizard in few days, should i go to get a special massage?
i feel like i don't really care anymore
>>25005659
>succubuses shilling their services here
>>25005788
>special massage
>getting your mana stolen at the last possible second
I'd just play it safe and stay home, anon.
Happy wizarding.
>>25004796
One day, senpai. One day
